r/antifeminist

I’ve been becoming friends with a few women in my age range (24-29F) around my city and it seems like they all just hate men? They’ll outright say it too, and a couple of them have claimed to be proud misandrists. Now, I can understand some reasoning behind hating men be it personal or societal but it’s seriously off putting to me. Especially because they’ll make jabs at my male partner. E.g. I will talk about him and was told “I’m glad you’re happy, and I want you to be happy but I dont want him to be happy.” Like??? Huh????? Most of the time though the tone of conversation is light and they’ll say these things as jokes, but it’s starting to get a little much.

I just want to know how common this is because my friends back home don’t act like this at all, but here it’s *every woman* I’ve made friends with! Minus maybe two.

I’m proud of this.

1. What is your view on feminism?
2. Does feminism support or contradict Christian values?
3. How should Christians approach gender equality?

Just want to see how many of us are out there.

I often hear stories of people who once identified as feminists, and then rejected it later. It's definitely an observable pattern going on, but I notice this actually happens in mainstream environments, where members come to realize what they've been told doesn't match up to their reality.

The men and women who once identified as feminists don't anymore, and they moved on to embracing traditional dynamics (makes sense since most heterosexuals ik embrace them).

But most stories follow a clear pattern of moving away from egalitarian dynamic and embracing traditional gender roles. Nothing against this, but there are those of us whom that lifestyle isn't a fit for (not even egalitarian dynamics).

This brings me to the topic I want to talk about. Alternative spaces.

I'm talking niche spaces that are populated with minority members. Think LGBTQ, BDSM, Role Reversal, Goth, etc.

The good thing about these spaces is it provides a community for those who don't fit the typical norm of man and woman. The problem? These spaces are ones I think are very knee deep in feminist ideology. I'm not talking about just being a casual feminist (i.e someone who just thinks feminism is about equality and nothing beyond that). I'm talking someone who actually buys into feminist concepts and theories. Most alternative members in my experience are in the latter category.

I can theorize why that could be the case, often dealing with feeling like outsiders or in some cases ostracized for not fitting what's considered the norm (though not sure how true that is considering the acceptance culture we live in). Gender expectations would play a huge role, especially in the rise of people embracing gender norms and emphasizing biological sex differences (which tends to focus on broad averages, which ends up alienating alternative people). Note: I have nothing against acknowledging biological sex differences and broad averages, but everytime this topic comes up, it's either we emphasize the broad averages while minimizing the minorities, or we completely ignore broad averages and pretend those minorities are more common than they actually are (or in the case of socially constructionism, we deliberate build environments to reversing these dynamics). If minorities were truly common, there wouldn't be a need for any dedicated communities to bring them together.

This is where feminism comes in. The oppressive narratives it feeds people, criticizing gender as a performance rather than being, pathologizing their interests (I'm sure I'm missing a lot more here) speaks to their already existing experience. What's the mapping here?

Oppressive -> speaks to their experience of feeling like an outsider and in some cases lead to bullying

Gender as a performance -> their everyday behaviour never really fit in to what's expected of their gender. So rather than think they're just a biological minority, they now think many people are performing gender rather than just being.

Pathologizing interest -> This one I had personal experience. I told a close friend what I was into back then, and they tried convincing me I had this due to being abused by my mom. On that note, my mom was not the best person, but her behaviour was pretty common in the culture I come from, and many men from that same culture don't have this preference I have, so it didn't add up. I got other variations of this growing up as well.

When you think about it, how feminist narratives are constructed has a heavy appeal to this kind of group. It's like how the redpill speaks to men whom feel society sees nothing but the good in modern women and ignoring the bad they do, or dismissing dynamics rooted in evolutionary psychology.

So this brings me to the question I want to ask. How many of us in this sub are out there?

I know a guy who is anti-feminist. He basically blames everything on feminism.

Now me on the other hand I see it as a systemic issue there's a lot of various factors as to what's going on with the struggle with men and what's going on with mating and dating and modern culture.

I say what about technology or financial hardship doesn't that play a role in attraction. For example women are doing so much better in employment and education than men . I grant that women are typically hypergamous so they date a cross and up and there's not a lot of men out there who are on their level or above. Technology has made it so much easier for a woman to pursue a career or education at home . When it comes to finances well as much as we don't like to admit it women have the upper hand because sex sells. Tons of men out there and I don't know why would pay money to see a woman's feet but you don't see that the other way around no one's paying for men's feet . Plus there are a lot of men out there who just want companionship and will actually pay just to talk to a girl or get a picture .

Dating and mating is a mess but to Simply blame it all on feminism I think is a mistake I'm not saying that feminism doesn't have its contributions especially radical feminism especially feminism that involves hatred towards men . But my friend thinks there's too much hate on the internet for men that is just women's nature that's how women are these days.

So anyone out there who's more in the right myself or my friend who thinks it's all on feminism to blame I don't think that I think that there are so many different factors out there. I support healthy relationships and healthy men and women but of course you're going to have unhealthy men and women out there. The internet has really disconnected us and will continue to do so and one thing that we do agree on is that no one really cares about men's struggles or their experiences . Of course my friend would say hardly any woman would care . So what do you say towards people that are just fixed on well it's just feminism . Any thoughts?

This video is claiming that studies show that when both parents are working in academia, the mother doesn't significantly more work caring for children than the father, and I don't know how credible the study is. I don't even know what study it is or where to start looking, I just know it was in Denmark and allegedly on 13,000 parents and it feels fishy to me.