r/adhd_anxiety

For context, I'm 35 and got diagnosed with ADHD in late 2023. I've been on Vyvanse since then and it's honestly been a life-changing experience. I actually feel like a normal human being (mostly).

I've been working with a therapist to try and understand the root causes of some specific behaviours of mine, as well as just getting more clarity on how ADHD affected me in the past. It's been an incredibly eye-opening experience, especially because the more I delve into the impact of ADHD on my life through the years, the more I realize just how much it affected my personality, my approach to life and consequently, how much I lost.

Some of the big ones I discovered:

• Making comments that change how people treat me. I've always had a habit of making weird, offbeat comments about situations/myself that sound funny in my head but lead to people making fun of me or treating me like some goofy weirdo. This had a major impact with girls I was dating or trying to get together with, and also happened with general friendships/relationships as well. The best way I can put it is that it's almost like I wasn't seen as an adult. Not really an issue anymore since I've been with my wife for a long time but there's been a noticeable change in the way people treat me post-medication - way more seriously, and with way more respect because I know when to say certain things and when to just not say anything
• Losing interest in my hobbies. This got worse as I got older. I used to love reading/writing/traveling etc. But overtime, I found myself having an impossible time focusing on reading and finishing a book, or writing a story or even getting the same joy I used to from traveling to countries I've been wanting to visit
• Inability to focus and concentrate on academics. I did really well throughout middle school and high school, but my grades dropped off a cliff in university because I found it so hard to motivate and direct myself, and neglected learning and studying. I had to stay an extra year to graduate because of courses I had to retake. I didn't even go to my graduation ceremony because I forgot about it. I have nightmares about it to this day.
• Ignoring financing and budgeting. I just couldn't bring myself to consistently pay attention to my finances - I would keep putting off paying credit card bills, not look at how much money I had left to spend, and even paying tuition. There was a time where it affected my credit really badly (thankfully much better now), and almost permanently ruined my relationship with my wife (then gf)
• Career trajectory/progress. Before medication, I have been at best mediocre at all my jobs because I would just get bored really fast, and stop trying or putting in effort. It's led to be jumping from job to job, and often getting let go because of poor performance. I always struggled to understand why I did this, and why I couldn't bring myself to try to at least be solid at my job. Post-medication, it's been a pure 180 - I find myself locked in on my tasks and projects, and I've been getting consistent praise from my bosses
• General stress and anxiety. We already know about this one - all the overthinking, overanalyzing and procrastinating leads to constant stress and being anxious anytime the smallest thing doesn't go according to plan or how you expect it to

Probably more I'm missing lol...but these stick out to me the most. On one hand, I'm glad that I was able to catch this condition and start to mitigate it. On the other though, I feel sad and frustrated that I spent so many years of my life, my prime youth years too, struggling and being a hollow shell of myself, never quite knowing why I acted the way I did, hating myself for it, and still not being able to change.

Hey guys,

I have diagnosed ADHD and have been crazy burntout with school. I'm currently unmedicated but also probably just worked myself too hard.

I've had two doctors who don't believe my ADHD is impacting me because I have good grades with school, but I'm constantly under stress about what needs to be done.

My newest doctor did say we could discuss treatment but I've put off my requisition forms because I've been busy with school.

I also am terrible at talking with people, specifically one on one, the pressure gets to me and I don't know what to say. I've met so many funny people this semester that I don't want to let down in conversation and it's applied a lot of pressure. I also went to a party with these people and I was too scared of saying anything wrong the whole time so I pretty much stayed quiet. I felt bad cus the host kept asking me how I was doing, clearly sensing I was off but I said I was fine.

in one on one conversations I just feel like I'm not processing a word anyone is saying and can't keep up.

I'm in such a bad place right now and I don't know what to do about these things. I don't know if this is all ADHD or if there's anxiety as well, and if it is anxiety, I have no idea what I should do about it.

basically, I feel really stuck, and need something actionable to work on right now, because I can't keep living like this

Crippling anxiety. I catastrophize lots. 42m waiting to start treatment. Honestly think I am done. Exhausted and broken. Hate myself. First class cunt.

Is catastrophic thinking, reading ijnto everything.. torturing yourself with extreme what if scenarios something others have experienced?

Every few months since maybe 2018 I’d feel a strong urge to crash out and it would last for a week to a month. Most of the time it was whatever. A big one comes every two years tho. I’d post stupid shit on my story I have jesters privilege so most people don’t realize I’m actually kinda tweaking out. Most of the times these have been more regulated ig? Like I could control myself more and there was nothing causing it I was just depressed.

2018 social media following went up and I was lowkey a lolcow. I can’t remember much. I was depressed for a bit and I would walk around outside for 6+ hours a day after school. I got close to dehydration pretty frequently.

2020 hell if I know. I would just stay in my room all day and be depressed. Wasn’t terrible but I lost 15 lbs over the course of like 6 months. I kinda don’t remember much

2022 was my first real bad crashout. My mental health was terrible and I was prescribed adderall. It went great for a bit but I realized the rebound gave me the ability to process emotions so I started to abuse it. Soon enough I was grinding schoolwork for hours a day. My schedule went: 11:00 wake up, drink premier protein, take adderall, 11:30 get to library and start working, 8:00 finish work, 8:30-10 rot in my dorm, 10:10-4am go to parking garage alone. It was miserable. One night was really bad and I ended up flushing my pills and going to sleep early.

2024 I got engaged to someone in the military. I was happy. She was my best friend. She goes to bootcamp and does a complete 180 with her personality. There was strain being away but I was willing to do anything to keep our relationship. She started mistreating me. One night I voice my concerns about how I was worried about our relationship really pouring everything out. She screenshots and posts it on her Instagram story. I message her and she responds instantly “it’s okay I scratched out your name” she finally deletes it after 6 hours. I remember her sister messaging me like. What the fuck is wrong with your fiancé (her sister). Anyways. A few weeks pass. She cheats on me. She tries to win me back by branding herself with my name. I decline. I drop off the face of the earth and cut contact with all friends. 7 months after on nye she calls me from her friends phone as I had blocked her everywhere. Time goes on. It’s chill

2025 I get back in contact with my friends. I get gf (in February so 2 months pass since my ex contacted me) and we date for 10 months. Month 5 I want out but I’m worried about her mental health and hope she can motivate herself more. I try my best to make sure she eats properly and goes outside. It doesn’t change. 9 months in it starts to make my mental health go bad. 10 months in I can’t take it. I break up December 1st

2026 I get a new gf in February. March I start to feel off. Not sure yet but I’m pretty sure I feel the urge to crash out soon. I start taking new adhd meds for school. I’m studying a lot more from less than 30 mins a week to 50hours+ a week.

Recently I got into contact with an old friend. We agree to meet in town and just walk around. I’m not paying attention and I take a wrong turn. I am across the street from where the military ex in 2024 told me she enlisted and asked if I would still stay with her. Although I forgot most things about her including even her face by now certain places can bring strong emotions from back then.

I also realize I shouldn’t be in a relationship since I haven’t really had time to process anything. 2025 relationship was whatever but 2024 still hurts. I don’t necessarily miss her but I miss the relationship if that makes sense.

[Past 12 hours] Fast forward to now I’m planning to break things off with her which sucks cause she is really cool but I’m not in the right headspace. Studying isn’t going well either even with medication. I don’t get it. I’m getting pissed at both of these.

[past hour] I’m just getting agitated and I don’t feel comfortable in my skin. I kinda wanna peel my skin off (not really) idk. I don’t feel right. I feel similar to how I did prior to my 2022 and 2024 which were my biggest crashouts. I don’t have the urge to do anything that will harm myself or anyone but I kinda wanna break everything in my room and smash the windows. I won’t of course though because still retain some sense of self and I know when this is over I’ll hate myself for destroying stuff.

Edit: after posting I’m just gonna try to sleep now. It’s way too late for me to be up and I’m afraid I’ll get worse if I stay up later lol. I’ll prob be normal again during the day till it’s nighttime again.

About Me

Hyperfocus, which is common in people with ADHD, makes me intensely fixated on things — so much that it becomes mentally and physically exhausting. It often leads to brain fog, fatigue, and memory issues. I focus on too many things at once and don’t know when to stop; it’s like I have the pedals in my head but no brakes. The overstimulation from Wellbutrin makes this worse — it raises my anxiety and pushes me even deeper into this hyperfocused state. ADHD paralysis also affects me; I know I can do more and want to achieve things, but something always restricts me until I burn out.

The mental clutter, brain fog, constant rumination, and non-stop internal monologue feel unbearable at times. My mind feels like it has dozens of tabs open, and someone else is holding the remote. I can’t calm down or stay still, and my motivation keeps slipping away. I know I can function better — more calmly, more naturally — but something inside stops me from accessing that part of myself. It’s frustrating, because I can feel the potential there, yet I can’t reach it.

I’ve tried talking to my mom about this, but I don’t think she really understands, even though she tries to act like she does. It upsets me, but I keep going back to her, hoping she’ll finally understand or validate what I feel. I end up trapped in my own head — like I’m in a prison I can’t escape. It fuels my depression, and even though I’m on Wellbutrin, sometimes it feels like it only makes things worse, leading to overstimulation and more anxiety.

I desperately want to slow down — to be able to rest, sit still, and feel peace for just a moment — but every time I try, anxiety kicks in. It sparks my ADHD paralysis, this cycle of fear that something’s wrong, that I’m wasting time, that I’m not doing enough. It feeds the same loop of overstimulation, paralysis, and exhaustion. I chase little dopamine hits to fill the emptiness, but it always backfires. It’s hard to realize in the moment that I’m doing harm to myself just to feel okay for a second.

When the brain fog or paralysis hit, I start acting immature or lazy — making jokes, being sarcastic, using humor to cover up how lost I feel. Inside, I’m screaming at myself: I know this is wrong, why can’t I move? It’s like someone else is controlling me or pushing me down with invisible weight. It makes me feel stupid, like I have no control over my own brain. It hurts.

I tend to seek validation and attention from others — my friends, my family — sometimes just to feel something, to get that short dopamine hit. Maybe it’s ego, or maybe it’s just wanting to be seen, to not feel invisible. I get bothered easily, want things to go my way, and when they don’t, I become irritated and perfectionistic. I procrastinate constantly, which frustrates me even more. I also notice avoidant behaviors and quick emotional shifts, which might be mood swings. It makes relationships difficult because I cycle through burnout, anxiety, insecurity, and self-doubt. It often spirals into negativity about myself and the people I care about.

These layers — ADHD, anxiety, overstimulation, perfectionism, validation-seeking, and burnout — combine into something that drains me completely. I’ve felt suicidal at times because of it. I feel sick, overstimulated, and trapped in this mental cycle I can’t break. I’ve tried coping strategies, but when ADHD paralysis sets in, I forget them. When I remember, I get frustrated that I have to relearn them all over again. Even when I try to go outside for a walk or fresh air, which helps a little, the rumination, intrusive thoughts, and inner noise return as soon as I settle down.

Sometimes I get intrusive thoughts — bursts of anger or dark impulses that appear when I’m mentally and emotionally burned out. I also struggle with emotional numbness; I crave the ability to truly feel and connect again. I just want to feel human — to have empathy, to think clearly, to not feel like my mind is running without me.

It’s also hard for me to be alone. I seek connection constantly. I’ll admit that — I truly don’t like being alone. My ex was my main source of companionship, and since that ended, I’ve been struggling deeply with loneliness. I overthink everything, especially about her. She’s doing better than me now, and I know she’s not alone like I am. I tell myself that she grew up with guy friends, but now that we’re adults, it bothers me more. Maybe I’m just insecure, but it still hurts. I know guys will often wait for an opportunity, and that thought messes with me. Still, I’m trying to accept that it’s out of my control. It is what it is.

Right now, I don’t have much going on in my life. I know I want goals, direction, and progress, but I feel stuck — stuck on my phone, in bed, looping through the same patterns every day. I’ve learned that staying inactive like this can reduce how effective my medications (Wellbutrin and Guanfacine) are. They’re meant to help with depression, anxiety, and ADHD, but they work best when combined with an active lifestyle. Since I haven’t been active, maybe I haven’t experienced their full effect yet. I want to start building a routine and staying consistent with it to see if that makes a difference and helps me feel more balanced.

I’ve also been reading about upcoming medications like Centanafadine, which might be more effective for people like me who struggle with overstimulation and attention regulation. Maybe switching things up could help someday. For now, though, I need to focus on working through these issues slowly, step by step.

This is who I am right now — not who I want to be forever. I still have hope that things will get better. I want to become someone who can focus, feel calm, act kindly, and think clearly. I want to live with less chaos in my head, a more positive and peaceful mindset, and genuine stability. Maybe things will take time, but I believe that I’ll get there, because I still think and feel there's a little bit of hope left, or maybe it might be forever. Anyways, thank you for listening. 

I was on Vyvanse 30mg, felt a bit robotic/flat, went up to 40mg and started feeling super overstimulated, very anxious, flat & ruminating thoughts.

I am now prescribed:

•	Vyvanse 20mg

•	Venlafaxine 150mg

Hoping it helps with the anxiety/rumination side while still treating ADHD.

Has this combo helped anyone with stimulant anxiety or rumination? Did lowering Vyvanse make you feel more like yourself again?

How long did it take to settle?