r/UKLGBT

Hi everyone,

Long time lurker first time poster on here.

Just wondering if there any other people local to Suffolk or even Ipswich on here?

Ideally looking for other trans femmes or girls/ladies to connect with on a platonic level. Would love to have some local friends online and maybe in person as I build up my confidence.

🩷

Any 50+ men out there who have recently came out?How was it?

We had a good relationship for 9 years until she started going to clubs, partying again, and getting involved with new people and new groups. It has reached the point where this nightclub life and the people she meets there have become the main focus of her life. She literally knows when every party is happening. She keeps buying new clothes and new jewellery for the parties. This party‑oriented lifestyle started about three years ago, and at the beginning I was okay with her going out sometimes to dance with some friends as I am not a prty lover -I dont like drug use, drunk people rubbing on me, crowded places for too long. Soo I thought-ok -she likes to dance -I can't take it away from her. But my view of it changed after she started telling half‑truths about it and focusing on it too much. After a while, my anxiety increased and my imagination about what was going on went wild. Our intimacy went down, and she kept choosing the parties despite my anxieties. Her way to explain it is-I invite You but You don't like dancing ....so basically suggesting that it is my own fault. She also suggested that we should start travelling separately — even though travelling together used to be one of the best things we enjoyed. She wanted us to go out separately more often and to lead separate lives while still being together.Recently, she also announced that she is gender‑fluid and now needs to pursue this path. We kind of tried to talk everything through and go back to "before" but I just feel like I am pushed aside...something cracked in me recently when I invited her for a dinner to the restaurant and she couldn't even stay away from the mobile to discuss some stuff with her party pall. So I just had enough and told her that I am done.

Just reaching out really, would be nice to make new friends. I'm LGBTQ plus but I'm in a hetrosexual relationship. I have always felt in very good company of the LGBTQ plus community and back in my younger days I partied where no straight person ever went. To this day although I'm happy in my relationship I always feel like something is missing. I just can't put my finger on it really. I've not really reached out on reddit before, but there are some such awesome communities here that I'd love to be welcomed here. Maybe I could make some friends along the way. Anyway, saying hello and I'm glad I've joined.

For those here who wish to see conversion practice banned in the UK now is an important time to write to your MP. Please see below a list of resources for any who may need, or who may simply wish to learn more about the topic.

——

Find your MP: https://members.parliament.uk/FindYourMP

Template letter: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1g-DgVyNup9P9C3t5e8Rb7AdvuuUtmeuzkKqYZ-xyzKk/mobilebasic

A short video about the topic posted by Oscar Davies the Non Binary Barrister: https://www.kkinstagram.com/reel/DWoTGKDiFAC/

——

Further reading:

Council of Europe: https://www.coe.int/en/web/portal/-/council-of-europe-body-calls-for-ban-on-conversion-%20practices

Human Rights Campaign has an article about types of conversion therapies, their validity, and impacts: https://www.hrc.org/press-releases/medical-experts-lgbtq-people-agree-conversion-therapy-is-no-replacement-for-health-care 

Trans Safety Network have written more about 'GET' and conversion therapies in their articles here: https://transsafety.network/tags/conversion-therapy/ 

This Conversion Therapy Support site, further information and resources that may be helpful those exposed: https://www.conversiontherapysupport.org.uk/ 

For more visually minded people here is a detailed documentary on he topic by Philosophytube: https://youtu.be/\_S5w18sjYLk

If people have personal stories or further resources to share please do.

29, Male, British Indian.

I have Grindr and Squirt for cruising purposes only, I don't even message people unless they are at the same cruising spot as me.

Just had multiple racially abusive messages sent my way.

"Paki cunt"

"Go back to the slums"

"micropenis" - racially charged as my picture clearly shows a slightly above average dick

"all you taxi driving Paki cunts need to go back"

I'm so tired of this and the way I can't have conversations about my experiences without gay men dismissing me and telling me I'm being oversensitive.

just wanted to rant and get this out of my system.

Hi! I’ll be visiting London this autumn and I’d love to start connecting with people before I go

I’m 31 and into art, cozy coffee shops, vintage fashion, bookstores, and theatre. I’m hoping to meet some cool people to hang out with while I’m there maybe explore the city, grab a coffee, check out some exhibitions, or just wander around nice neighbourhoods.

If you’re up for making a new friend or showing me around a bit, feel free to message me or leave a comment

While I (16, trans girl) was waiting for a connecting train at Sleaford, a group of teenage boys were harassing me and calling me gay (with obvious bad intent), specifically pointing out the pink hair clips I was wearing.
I went to a bench from the place I was standing so I could be closer to other people because I was feeling a bit scared, and the group kept on harassing me even after then and laughed at me when I started crying, one of them came over to "apologise" to me by offering me a puff of his vape (disgusting I know) then wouldn't leave when I asked to be left alone but then this absolute angel who was sitting a bit further down the same bench as me defended me and told them to leave me alone (I wasn't saying anything because I'm extremely socially anxious) and then the group left.
I thanked the person while still pretty shaky, and then as the train was approaching my stop I managed to find them again in the train and properly express my gratitude.

I made this post in the hopes this person will maybe find it, and if you did, thank you so much :)

I’ve post on Reddit a fair bit in the last 2 months. I’m 55m 6’ 2 and quite heavy right now. (Although people say I carry it reasonably well) and although I suspected most of my life I might be bisexual I only really admitted and accepted to myself I was a year or so ago.

Came out to my wife 2 months ago and she’s been great about it. It’s still a case if her processing the info but generally all is well.

Her sex drive is very very low so our marriage is virtually sexless but our relationship is great and I don’t want to cheat or leave. I’m hoping with time we can come to an arrangement where I get a hall pass every now and then.

My question is, have I left it too late to explore this side of me? Because I’m on the heavier side and although I’m working to lose weight, I’m kind of wondering if guys won’t be into me as a heavy middle aged guy.

I seem to mainly find younger men attractive. Androgynous, fem types or twinks. But as the father of a teenage boy, I don’t want to creep myself out with the whole ‘Daddy’ thing. (If that makes sense)

The other thing that worries me is the fact I’m the age I am and have no experience of sec with men. Would the kind of guys I like be put off by that lack of experience?

Hi All,

Any recommendations on restaurants or spaces where lesbian hang out casually (I don’t mean LGBT events or headline events). It gets awkward when I meet someone with that in mind…but if we meet in an open event, vibe together, and have fun then it’s easier.

I am a transgender female living in supported living in Liverpool. It is a self-contained flat with 9 other tenants. The staff are on duty 24/7. The staff have keys which they use to enter your flat, which is supposedly only supposed to be used in emergency situations but it’s used all the time.

Whilst I was outside, one of the night staff came into my flat and urinated in my bedroom onto my clothing and also onto my prized posters on my floor, which I was planning on putting on the wall. I complained to staff but to no avail. I know it was urine because of the smell and the way it stained my posters, which I now keep as evidence away from the flat.

The manager is now denying that the staff even have spare set of duplicate keys, which is complete fabrication and damage control- she is very punitive and cruel.

I have reported it as a hate crime and asked for the spare set of keys back which they have obliged, thankfully.

I have never navigated the legal system snd would like to know where I stand and if I could take it any further.

Thank you.

It has been reported to merseyside police

Does it ever strike anyone else too late in their life to make it simple how comfortable they were around LGBT people compared to straight? Thinking back, as part of a decision I should have made a long time ago, I just left at home around gay people. Like I was myself.

Hi everyone. I’m a 52-year-old lesbian living in the UK. I’ve been single for nine years, having spent that time focused on raising my children. In doing so, I got pretty good at becoming hyper-independent. Now that my kids are grown, I’m ready to find a partner, but I’m finding the transition back into the world quite difficult.

​I am naturally a bit socially awkward, but my main struggle is something that makes me feel quite silly: I find myself "fantasising" about almost every woman I interact with. If a woman is even slightly friendly—say, while walking her dog or standing in a queue—and we smile at each other, my mind immediately jumps into imagining a full-blown relationship with her. I even find myself doing this with women I work with!

​What would it be like to actually be with her? How would I ask her out? Would she say yes? Is she married? Oh god, she’s so pretty. Oh, she’s far too young/old/pretty/too sexy/too posh/too this/ too that. I even find myself checking for a wedding ring... it is utterly ridiculous! It is like I’ve forgotten how to behave! I don't do anything about these thought obviously.

​I know people say "just go out and socialise," and you'll find "the one" but for me, the social awkwardness is debilitating. I just can't do it. I have always been an old soul; I like my home, my books, my hobbies, and I much prefer my dogs company and a quiet night in with the someone I love to a loud night out. This adds to the crushing fear that I might never find someone, and that the partner I want and need is likely going through the exact same thing I am and is staying in as well 😄. And please, don't even mention dating sites to me. In my view, they are the cesspools of the dating world.

​It feels mentally exhausting. I know it probably comes from being profoundly lonely and maybe even the fear of being hurt, but I don't know how to switch this "weird thought pattern" off. I feel like I’m running out of time, or that I’m past my prime and nobody will want me because, with menopause, my skin is sagging, everything is heading "south" and I feel like I'm becoming invisible but I still have so much love to offer and give a woman.

​I’d love to hear from women especially here in the UK—who have/are dealing with this. How do you stop your mind from "running away" if this is something you've experienced or are experiencing? How do you stay grounded when you’re finally ready to connect again after being on your own for so long? Thanks

Hi everyone :) I'm a lesbian and trainee journalist hoping to break into LGBT+ related news (quite niche but i will carve it out!)

Just out of curiosity - are there any topics/groups within the community in the UK you feel area underreported?

When you're in the journalism world it's quite easy to accidentally get into a bit of a bubble/echo chamber. So I'm always wanting to make sure I'm reporting on what matters to people <3