When your partner s new life leaves you behind
We had a good relationship for 9 years until she started going to clubs, partying again, and getting involved with new people and new groups. It has reached the point where this nightclub life and the people she meets there have become the main focus of her life. She literally knows when every party is happening. She keeps buying new clothes and new jewellery for the parties. This party‑oriented lifestyle started about three years ago, and at the beginning I was okay with her going out sometimes to dance with some friends as I am not a prty lover -I dont like drug use, drunk people rubbing on me, crowded places for too long. Soo I thought-ok -she likes to dance -I can't take it away from her. But my view of it changed after she started telling half‑truths about it and focusing on it too much. After a while, my anxiety increased and my imagination about what was going on went wild. Our intimacy went down, and she kept choosing the parties despite my anxieties. Her way to explain it is-I invite You but You don't like dancing ....so basically suggesting that it is my own fault. She also suggested that we should start travelling separately — even though travelling together used to be one of the best things we enjoyed. She wanted us to go out separately more often and to lead separate lives while still being together.Recently, she also announced that she is gender‑fluid and now needs to pursue this path. We kind of tried to talk everything through and go back to "before" but I just feel like I am pushed aside...something cracked in me recently when I invited her for a dinner to the restaurant and she couldn't even stay away from the mobile to discuss some stuff with her party pall. So I just had enough and told her that I am done.