It took about as long for people to notice the "i" was missing from "business" as it did for the monk to confess to stealing it.
u/Outside_Normal — 1 day ago
r/TwoSentenceComedy
▲ 26 r/TwoSentenceComedy
I was going to tell a joke about pizza
but it was too cheesy
u/No-Shop-776 — 19 hours ago
The robot detective's neural net had been trained exclusively on film noir, so he narrated every case in gravelly voiceover even though he was just finding lost Roombas.
His partner finally snapped after the "dame with gams that went all the way down to her vacuum port" incident.
u/kungpowdragon — 8 hours ago
▲ 45 r/TwoSentenceComedy
We planned the cookie heist for months, mapping the teacher's patrol routes and timing the nap schedule with military precision.
u/kungpowdragon — 1 day ago
My therapist recommended I process emotions by writing letters to the people I hate and burning them afterwards.
u/NaiveZest — 2 days ago
▲ 21 r/TwoSentenceComedy
Yesterday I fought with my girlfriend, and she broke my printer.
u/Not_MrFrost — 2 days ago
Cross my mary and my ashley i shall never become a step dad. I fear the child i cannot control will only turn into another tally in this hallucinogenic hall
u/ziplocbaggie — 3 days ago
The doctor's tendency to rush things resulted in multiple misdiagnoses, which meant he had few repeat visitors.
u/Outside_Normal — 4 days ago
I was at a Vietnamese/Japanese fusion restaurant, and every time I cursed about the service, they brought me multiple bottles of their branded rice wine.
u/Original-Loquat3788 — 5 days ago
Walking the hospital hallways as the last of the anesthesia was wearing off I had a moment of clarity..
u/Busy_Rent4 — 6 days ago
I knew better than to invite a vampire into my home, but I still respected him enough to compliment his intelligence while trying.
u/LevelQx — 7 days ago
The woman I hired looked at the clock, panicked, and screamed at me to run because my wife was on her way.
u/support-usa-2026 — 7 days ago
▲ 42 r/TwoSentenceComedy
My mother raised me to confess my sins and never hide the truth.
u/support-usa-2026 — 6 days ago
▲ 22 r/TwoSentenceComedy
In Schrödinger’s later experiments, what did the duck say when it was released from the box?
u/Original-Loquat3788 — 6 days ago
▲ 35 r/TwoSentenceComedy
While the U.S. uses 120v AC and 240v AC, Europe and Asia are predominantly 230v AC..
u/Busy_Rent4 — 7 days ago
What Would Julius Caesar Say If He Was Brought Back To Life?
u/Awesomeuser90 — 8 days ago