r/ThePrimordialOne

The amount of times I’m at my wits end trying to explain the nuance of the HP’s actions to somehow explain why they are a faction worth rooting for.

Then I got asked why bother when everyone does it?

And HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Your right.

Every endgame faction in Genshin has done some fucked up shit. Each with circumstantial explanation and nuance.

So why does it even matter?

The agenda is Celestia is the way to go because their rule and plans are ultimately best for everyone.

Which still applies regardless of the morality of the nails or the first war or the curses of the wilderness and immortality. Those are individual actions that are in response to hiccups and other people messing shit up. It has no affect on the overarching plan

Celestia’s plan and PHANES’ rules are literally the only thing keeping Teyvat from sinking into the abyss and everyone in game is starting to realize it like the Hexen.

And what’s funny is.

Celestia’s crimes are mass murder, ecocide, colonialism, and collective punishment.

Fatui: colonialism, mass murder(inciting wars) child experimentation, child grooming, espionage, destabilization, etc

Dragons: eating people, mass murder, bombing humanity back to the Stone Age then orchestrating Thor society so they kill each other and stay primitive savages, abyssal usage, child grooming(Kukulkan)

Celestia’s crime list is ironically smaller and less varied than everyone else’s.

So I don’t give a shit anymore. Celestia number one. Fuck them dragons, fuck them Kheanri’ahns, fuck them Fatui.

Hello everybody and welcome back to the Winter Lazzo, your weekly Fatui Newsletter!

GOLDEN BUTCHER MASSACRES BORDER TROOPS:

Following a string of disappearances on the Snezhnayan border, Lazzo correspondents have unearthed disturbing data from spy cameras indicating a mass loss of life across all of teyvat. After a thorough investigation by our reporters into previous counts of desertion; the Golden Butcher is estimated to have killed upwards of 27,000 agents across Teyvat. With the recent return of many comrades, the butcher is hungry for blood and is currently charging towards Snezhnaya leaving a bloodbath in their wake. Reports indicate that if they reach Snezhnaya we may witness a disaster not seen since the infamous ‘Persona non Grata’ Massacre.

UNIDENTIFIED OBJECTS DISCOVERED:

Following the establishment of the Kuuvahki Experimental Design Bureau, a top secret project to dispatch long range satellites to gather data about the false sky was initiated. Now, with the launch of the first satellite, officials are shocked at the discovery of 19 unidentified landmasses located near the roof of the false sky. On a better note, triangulation has begun in areas near Chenyu Vale, and The Regrator has told the Lazzo that Snezhnaya will have a precise lock on Celestia’s true location within the next few months

DOTTORE CORPS UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT:

After a long round of negotiations at Zapolyarny Palace, the fate of Dottore’s unit is finally decided. Insider sources tell the Lazzo that with the new agreement in place, the Dottore unit will remain an individual entity with limited control from the Tsaritsa, so long as they continue to produce results. Rumors claim that the mysterious ‘Epsilon’ who leads the Dottore unit is to be promoted to the rank of harbinger; but there is no official evidence to this claim.

STRANGE OCCURRENCES IN FATUI OUTPOSTS:

During the Lazzo’s investigation into desertion reports, a large and disturbing amount of unexplained disappearances has been recorded near Sumeru, Fontaine, Mondstadt, and Nod-Krai. All of these disappearances have happened in the weeks following the Nod-Krai Calamity. An official investigation has been launched by Mayor Pulcinella, and results are to be expected soon.

ABYSSAL ACTIVISTS EXECUTED:

In a shocking turn of events, this Tuesday in Belyi Square; a large amount of abyss activist were publicly beheaded. These activists, formed from Fatui agents who grew soft after learning the truth about Hilichurls and Abyss Order monsters’ origins; have long been a minor and relatively unknown group. However, recently the group had been steadily rising in popularity; but maintained a non-violent approach to change. This reason for this shocking change in attitude towards them is currently unknown, but many Snezhnayan citizens are all wondering the same thing; “Have the Fatui gone too far?”

That’s all for today, and remember: “Sharp as Steel, Cold as Ice, Her Majesty’s dream will lead to a man-made future warm and bright!”

Machines they made in their ambition turned against them by outside forces? Check

The cherry on top is that it’s Kheanri’ahn tech too.

Creating a fiery scene that looks all too familiar.

Moral of the story:

#ThoseWhoDreamOfDreamingShouldNotDream

Literally what’s the point of these grand ambitions. Most are lucky to live a happy normal life. Why do you have to go beyond that. Especially with the Heavens telling you “don’t do that”

This is the Tower of Babel allegory in Hyperborea all over again. Unchecked ambition only leads to ruin for you and everyone around you.

No wonder blud didn't last long in the Akademiya, his handwriting is also ass

"The child will be a test subject for my totally 100% success rate 'Become a Descender Project'!!!"

"No, she will become another Fatui Agent like a good Snezhnayan!!!"