r/PlusSizePregnancy

I feel super emotional today so I am just hoping for some words of advice and encouragement. I'm 165cm tall and I have around 146kg (which is around 5'5" and 322lbs). I'm also pregnant, 15w 6d but I don't look pregnant at all. Like, at all. I just look as fat as I was before I got pregnant (I only gained 1-2kg and I fluctuate a lot), my apron belly looks the same, I went through the 1st trimester with no nausea, just some tiredness and that's it. I feel the round ligament stretching but that's literally it.

Today I was thinking about taking photos and I look at myself and I just can't. I can't look at myself being fat and focus on the belly I spent my life either ignoring or trying to hide or get rid of.

Women my size - did you ever start "looking" pregnant? If so, when? I want to share my joy with the world but I have nothing to show for it and I feel half-pregnant if that makes any sense. I know I should be grateful that the nausea skipped me and that I didn't struggle as much yet, but it feels like another right of passage that I won't have, in addition to a cute little bump...

I’m looking for insight from women who have actually been in my shoes.

I’m almost 35, 5’4 and about 365 pounds (BMI around 63). My main health issue is lipedema. I’m currently on Zepbound, working with a nutritionist, a mindset therapist for food, and my regular therapist.

My husband feels very strongly that we should wait until I lose weight and get healthier before trying for a baby. Part of me agrees because I know pregnancy would likely be easier and safer at a lower weight, but I’m also terrified of continuing to put off having children because of my age. I don’t even know if we can get pregnant, and waiting years feels overwhelming.

I’m really looking for honest experiences from women with very high BMIs who either:

• decided to wait and lose weight first

• decided to start trying anyway

• got pregnant unexpectedly at a high weight

• worked with supportive or unsupportive doctors

What were your pregnancies actually like? How were you treated by OBs? Did you regret waiting or not waiting?

If anyone was also on Zepbound/Mounjaro/Wegovy before trying, I’d love to hear how that process went too.

Please be kind. I’m already working on my health and genuinely trying to make the best decision for my future family.

I’m currently 26 and a half weeks pregnant and I don’t think I look pregnant in the slightest. I work at a school with a lot of other teachers/ staff and I’m assuming that someone sent out an invite for a shower because I have had so many people (that i see everyday) come up to me and tell me they had no clue I was pregnant. Or when I’ve told other people they assume baby is going to be born some time in the winter, and when I say no I’m actually due in the beginning of August they’re absolutely shocked. Even my sister and husband have said they really can’t see much of a difference, even with supportive underwear and a belly band. And neither do I honestly. It doesn’t help that I have a coworker that I share a classroom/office with that’s due a week before me and has a cute belly. Everyone knows she’s pregnant and asks her about it all the time, where i feel like im still shocking people with the fact that im pregnant. All of that to say, im really self conscious about my lack of bump. Ive had a lot of issues with body image in the past and this is exacerbating a lot of my insecurities. I’ve only gained about 10 pounds (I started at 290 ish) and I’m 5’6. I have a pretty deep b belly and I don’t think that’s changing any time soon. I always wanted to maternity pictures, but I don’t really see the point of spending all of that money on pictures when I look exactly the same as I did pre pregnancy. If you had a b belly/ unhappy with your belly did you end up taking the maternity pictures?

Looking for opinions/advice. FTM, 39 (AMA “geriatric pregnancy”), BMI of 55 with controlled hypothyroidism, but no issues thus far in pregnancy (31 weeks). I’ve only gained 10lbs, passed glucose test, and baby is growing appropriately. I see an OB (group practice) and MFM, but the MFM pretty much runs the show. She makes all the decisions, completes all ultrasounds, puts in any needed orders, etc. I’ve been seeing both monthly until last week; MFM said we’re moving to weekly starting next week, and OB biweekly. During last weeks OB appointment, a doctor who I rarely see in the practice said I should plan for an induction at 38 weeks. I asked why and wasn’t really given much reasoning besides “it’s what we recommend with high blood pressure since it can increase the changes of preeclampsia.” Sure, of course but I don’t/haven’t had high BP throughout the pregnancy and thus far no signs pointing to PreE. I log my BP at home, per their recommendation since week 7, and it’s consistently in the 120/80 range, occasionally 130 at most. In office it’s always elevated at first and I’ve had them add to my chart to please take it at the end of the appointment as opposed to walking me back, weighing me, and slapping the cuff on my arm and asking me questions while my feet are dangling off the table. After advocating for proper measurement for several visits they’ve finally obliged. All that to say, her answer felt like BS to me. I’m due the week after July 4th and would like to go as close to that as possible. I’m not a big fan of the inducing just to induce trend and I am of course planning to discuss this further with my MFM when I next see her. Issue is, MFM does not deliver so I’m curious if she has much say in this aspect of things? Anyone had a similar experience? Open to any opinions!

I’m 10 weeks pregnant today. I’m 6’2, and even pre-pregnancy, I was weighing at about 230 lbs with an O cup chest. Ive only gained about 10 pounds of pregnancy weight so far, and I’ve been told to expect more. (Which, duh). This doesn’t bother me one bit, I know I’m growing a new life inside me, I know I’m going to get bigger.

One thing that I’ve noticed a lot in this community though, and its making me feel……Some Type Of Way, is the way a lot of smaller women talk about their weight gain from pregnancy, while being 3 times smaller than me (or any other person who isnt 100 lbs soaking wet). Its really weird to be 200+, and seeing people crying because they ‘feel disgusting and ashamed’ (actual words another redditor used to describe how she felt now being 130 lbs instead of 105…) because they made it to 120 lbs or 150 or 180 or etc.

Or how everyone in the replies sounds like ‘Dont worry, youre not FAT! Its the pregnancy! Once youre not pregnant anymore, all that BIG NASTY FATNESS will go away and you will be NORMAL AND BEAUTIFUL again!🥰’

Meanwhile the 9 month pregnancy weight they’ve gained is still less than my normal baseline weight, pre-pregnancy.

It’s just odd to go somewhere that’s supposed to be inclusive and supportive and see how everyone’s worst nightmare is to look how I normally do, even without being pregnant. And I’m going to probably get to almost or near 270, maybe even 280, and its disheartening to hear people harp on and on about ugly they feel at a weight I havent been since high school.

I mean right before I got pregnant I worked as a Nanny for a woman who was 5’4 and 120 lbs and she would constantly complain to me that she cant get to the gym anymore and thus shes ‘let herself go’ and ‘is so fat now’ and ‘I used to have abs’ and ‘I used to be 105 now im 120!’ And ‘I feel so flabby and gross’ right to my face as I stand there twice her damn size.

And yes, before you mention it, I know I’m 6’2, yes I know I’m busty, so you might say I ‘carry my weight differently’ but I’m still a size 20 dress and 1X (not to be confused with XL) on a good day.

Are there any other plus size people feeling the same? It feels exactly like going clothes shopping with your skinny friends and hearing them complain about ‘being soooo fat omg’ and youre standing there 100lbs heavier than them like🧍🏽‍♀️ If you think YOURE fat, then what am I???

EDIT: All of a sudden everyone is willfully obtuse and doesnt understand how talking about yourself badly can affect others. Maybe I should put it this way:

Would you want a mother (or a teacher) who has body image issues to constantly be using negative language in regard to her body and her weight, in front of her teenager/child(ren) who is plus size/bigger than her? No? Why not??? I think you understand why. The same concept applies here. Same thing with internalized racism. Just because you might hate being black doesnt mean you get to call your natural hair type (and by extension others’) ‘unkempt’ and ‘wild’ and ‘unprofessional’

EDIT2: So the gist of what Im getting is that we, as plus size people, should give grace to smaller people using harsh and ugly language to describe their weight gain, but it only goes one way and the smaller people should not have to have compassion or give grace to bigger people struggling with weight gain/body issues because……I still havent gotten a reason WHY, but, that’s the sentiment a lot of you seem to have. Good to know!

I unexpectedly got pregnant, I'm 19 currently 337 lb, I have been trying to lose weight before I got pregnant I lost about 200 lb but now I don't know if I should continue trying to lose weight or not, I am worried I do want to keep the baby even though it was not planned, I just really want to know what I should expect and what I should do, I'm taking a prenatal right now and I'm going to start taking one baby aspirin a day as well, I have a prenatal appointment the 9th of June

I'm 29 weeks as of today and everything has been going really well! Just got third trimester bloodwork back and I don't have GD (yay!) and things are normal (for me, anyway....Vit D has always been low, so that's nothing new. We're handling it with heavy duty supplements now yay).

Just wondering if anyone has ever noticed had a super active kiddo by this point. I can feel her in there every now and again with her little pokes and prods, but I feel like sooo many people are already at the stage of 'they're kicking my ribs out!!' At nearly 29 weeks. Are chill babies normal? I guess I was just expecting dance parties in there by this point but everything has been subtle...

Hi! 28 weeks today with my first and super curious about everyone's weight experiences. I started at 5'8" 256lbs, dropped to 240something my first trimester (because food aversion is the WORST) and have stayed right around 248ish the entire second trimester. I thought it was SUPER weird, but my OB assured me that it's totally normal and baby girl is measuring right on track. 🥰

I keep joking with my husband that this is by far the worst possible weight loss program ever, but I am very curious about others' experiences. Obviously weight loss isn't at all on my list of priorities, but I know most women add about 30ish pounds including the baby, fluids, etc. Has anyone actually ended up lighter than their starting weight after having their kiddo?? Also super aware that hormones, swelling, breastfeeding, and quite literally everything else plays into weight fluctuations, but I'm so curious haha.

Trigger Warning: Medical Problems but Baby is Doing Well

I just got word that I will not be leaving the hospital today so in my grief I have decided to a rant to strangers would be better than sitting with it.

Last Sunday night I woke up with the worst chest pain of my life and vomiting. I just knew I was having a heart attack so I went to the ER.

2 1/2 hours later I was told it is gallstones, take this Tylenol 3 and talk to your OB, and change your diet.

My OB was bewildered, "I dont deal with gallbladders you need a surgeon. I'll consult with one for our next appointment try to hang in there"

1 day later, no change in pain, the meds helped but it never went away. 2 days later the meds stopped helping, I went back to the ER. 8 hours later I was given morphine, told my labs looks good, and told to call a surgeon, and change my diet. The quote this doctor he said "I'm not saying cut out all greasy food but you really should slow down."

I'd like to note because of the pain I had not eaten in days.

3 days later. I have my OB appointment and have to monitor baby. I am 34 weeks pregnant. I am asked to lay on my back for 20 minutes, a near impossible task, but i moan and groan my way through it. By the time I get out I hear my ob on the phone with surgeon. "She needs to be seen today"

He examines me. Informs me that he has made an appointment and tells me not to worry about not eating, baby will be fine, just drink water when possible.

Later that day I see the surgeon. By some miracle and another dose of T3, the pain in gone. Surgeon says since the pain is gone we can play this by ear but if you have another attack come back to ER. I will make notes for them to get me. By the way your labs from last night are not great, you have jaundice.

I go home and rest hubbie and little one run out and buy me good things to eat. My extravagant dinner is half a rice cake and 2 strawberries. I am exhausted and go to sleep early.

6:30 AM, I am back at the ER in worse pain then ever. A nurse says "you must have had a heavy dinner" I am started on diluad and soon told I will be admitted. One MRI and an ERCP (Upper Gi Procedure) later, I am told we have removed a stone and lots of sludge from your pancreas and liver. I had pancreatitis.

Finally in my hospital room. 2 days for my body to feel normal. So many people tell me if I Just watch what I eat this will go away. I spent those 2 days eating ice chips and popsicles.

Now we are on day 4 in the hospital because my WBC count is rising for an unknown reason and I am struggling to eat real food out of fear.

It just sucks. Yes I am fat, yes I am 34 weeks pregnant, but no I am not eating til I am sick. I just got sick, really sick. Even my nurse last night told me, "I'm sure you'll be home soon if you just eat healthy"

Maybe eating lead to all this but at this particular moment in time it is not about eating. I am working up courage to eat my dry cereal and have lost 5 lbs in 8 days. I am exhausted, worries for my baby (who is a fucking trooper and hasn't slowed down at all), and mostly I am sick! But still I am treated as if I am a pig shoveling unhealthy food into my mouth as quickly as possible.

I’m in the U.K. and honestly feel the maternity care has been absolutely awful… I’m now 36 weeks and grateful for any thoughts!

Since day one I’ve been saying I want a C Section. I do feel this has been largely fobbed off with the line ‘we talk about birth later’ but I’ve also never seen the same midwife twice and only met my consultant once, so it’s been easy to do!

Today I saw a doctor (not my consultant) who said “what can I do to persuade you not to do this” because of the risks, but then couldn’t weigh the risks up with me and go over the differences between vaginal and C section risks *for me* as opposed to on a very generic basis. He’s apparently booking me in for a week’s time with the advice “no more sitting on the fence”. I wasn’t sitting on any fences until you told me you were desperate to convince me not to have a C!

He’s asked that specialist midwives contact me but that apparently isn’t likely to happen within the next week. I don’t have a midwife who knows me I can speak to. There is no mechanism to ask him or any other doctor any questions, and even if I could, they just don’t know the answers and aren’t interested in answering anyway.

I just feel completely at a loss - has anyone thought about a C vs vaginal birth? Originally I wanted a C as I understood it to be safer for baby.

I have placenta previa and had a very big bleed that led me to a 1 week hospital stay when I was 26 weeks pregnant...I had only been up 10 lbs at 26 weeks and then I lost 4 lbs in the hospital, but as soon as I came home I have gained 10 more and Im up 20 lbs at 31 weeks pregnant. My doctor says its because in the hospital you lost muscle mass, but I was also starving in the hospital because they wouldnt feed me for 2 days because they thought I was gna have to deliver. Obviously I didnt deliver but now my doctor is worried because im gaining weight rapidly...but here's the thing...in the hospital I was on bed rest 1 week, not allowed to move with a catheter in, mag drip, steroid shots. 5 days iv antibiotics... I was in a bad place. Now im home and on MODIFIED BED REST, so my activity levels have been severed in half or more, so I think this is whats affecting my weight, but my doctor is convinced I eat all day long. Idk how to feel but I already have a high bmi (49) and I feel like i am going through alot being on limited activities, having a special needs 5 year old to care for at home, and struggling to stay somewhat active and healthy. Now she's trying to put me on a keto diet. Im just trying to get through to my 37 week delivery and trying to make it through my surgery without hemorrhaging due to my condition. Needless to say I have to get nsts now and see a doctor once a week so they can babysit my weight. I have changed my diet so much and it still doesnt seem to be enough.

Ngl, excited to take away my anxiety of the “when will it happen” but after a cervical check yesterday, the reality of pain is starting to hit me. I have vaginismus so even usual vaginal exams were hard to get through. My doctor is definitely hoping for me to have a vaginal birth but I’m so scared already.

I cried yesterday with a mix of excitement to meet my child but also knowing how tough this about to be.

Guess I’m just looking for any encouragement or positive birth stories/induction stories.

Did you know that if you ask smaller/petite/skinny people to be mindful of the harsh and mean language they use to describe their weight gain, as there are people bigger than them ALSO gaining pregnancy weight and ALSO looking for comfort in their weight gain, that people will call you all types of names and insults? Fascinating! Thanks r/pregnant. I never woulda known!

Hi everyone. I am currently 19weeks and 3 days. For the past few days, I have been having a lot of soreness/pressure/pain directly in the vaginal area since sunday night. Now I’ve scared myself a lot thinking this was PPROM. I do feel like I have excess leakage and I do urinate a lot. Due to this new pain, I went to see my ob yesterday and got in with the midwife there. She did a check and said things looked ok right now and cervix looked closed, she didn’t see any extra fluid. She did mention discharge but that it was milky white and they would test for infection just in case but that this could be normal with pregnancy. She kept saying how my anatomy scan next week should tell me more and sometimes they measure things different and they will check for short cervix and if it is short cervix, they would explain more to me. But then I again asked if things seemed normal right now and she said yes. Anyways, I am still pretty worried because of this pain. Did anyone else feel this pain? I’m hoping things at my anatomy scan are good next week but I am just feeling really scared. Sunday afternoon, I did do some window cleaning and was squatting for cleaner the door and whatnot but I’m not really convinced this would cause this pain this long. Just looking for some input. Thanks :)

I’m looking for a nice spring/summer dress that will also make my bump look nice. Im around a size 24 and have an apron/B belly prior to pregnancy, so my bump isn’t super glorious. I’ll be 30 weeks by the time I need it.

I’m just not sure what cuts/styles are most flattering on plus size bodies. I don’t want a tight body con dress, but flowy dresses that I have make my pregnancy disappear? I do use a belly band, which helps shape things a little. Any guidance would be much appreciated!

I’m just feeling a lot more self conscious this pregnancy bc I have another family member attending the event who’s only like 4 weeks further than me, but has a very different body, and has looked 9 months pregnant since she was like 20 weeks. Meanwhile, I’m barely showing at 28 weeks. Comparisons have already been made, not by her (she’s lovely), but by other family members.

I am currently weight 260lbs, I’m 5’6 & 32 y/o. My partner is larger than I am (largely due to his love of beer - he doesn’t get drunk but he drinks regularly and more than the recommended guidelines), 6’1 & 36 y/o.

I know I am going to go to this first appointment and as much as blood tests etc. will be discussed, I will be told to loose weight, I just know it, it’s a go to answer from what I have heard from others. I have always been a bigger girl, but I have always had regular periods and ovulation (tracked via opk and temp) so here are my two questions.

1. If my cycles are regular is there actually a direct benefit and link to getting pregnant and loosing weight?
2. Do I just agree when weight loss is suggested or do I push back that other tests are needed.

I’m also not saying weight loss is a bad thing, but genuinely I’m a happy and active person… I’m just a damn good cook :P

When was it that you started to wear maternity or bigger clothes? I am almost 19 weeks as of Sunday, and I feel like I am getting to the point where I’m going to have to switch out my scrub shirt for work here in a few weeks. Part of me is nervous, I think because I haven’t really wanted to accept the fact that I’ll be gaining a least some weight and my body is starting to change. The scale hasn’t changed a whole lot yet but I can feel my clothes getting tighter and I just think my stomach is starting to round out more. I’m just having a hard time trying to accept this change physcially.

I’m almost 20 weeks pregnant and my back has been hurting for a few weeks now. I figured a belly band may be able to help. I’m 260 lbs that wears 2x pants and a 3x shirt. I just ordered the momcozy belly band and it doesn’t stretch down enough to my apron belly to give it any support, it just rolls up. I’m feeling really defeated, has anyone else had this experience? Or recommend a different belly band? Thank you ❤️

FTM, 16 weeks pregnant. I was 300 lbs pre pregnancy and have an apron belly. Some of the photos I have seen have me worried about my stretch marks on my stomach getting worse. Does anyone have advice? Has anyone felt like all the moisturizing has done anything to help? I know it won't prevent them, I would just like tips on easing discomfort from them, especially going forward in life post partum.