r/MilitaryTrans

I am gender non-binary but typically perceived as female, I was born female, & just about 10 years ago I legally changed my name & gender marker to male. I was then (unknowingly) registered in the Selective Service. I no longer identify or seek to be perceived as male (actually for the past 7ish years), can I remove myself from the Selective Service & how?

Just under a week ago I asked some local resources for help to switch careers & during the intake process, we discovered that I was registered with the Selective Service. I never willingly or knowingly signed up; if I knew that legally changing my gender marker would do that then I would have NEVER done it. (I got all the validation & love I needed from the beautiful people in my life, being recognized by the government was just the cherry on top at that time.)

My birth certificate says female & my current state-issued driver's license says "X" for my gender marker. I'd be willing to legally change my gender back to female if it removed me from the Selective Service as gender carries almost no importance to me anymore.

I’m in ROTC and I found out way too damn late that I’m trans, and I’m about to finally commission and I’m terrified. I wanted to come out as trans and separate, but I currently live with my extremely transphobic parents and I just don’t feel safe to come out to them while I live under their roof. My parents are so extremely transphobic, they watch conservative news channels and genuinely despise trans people. I have no money to get a place for myself, and I’ve been trying to get a job so I can move out, separate, and transition, but it’s been so difficult because I want to leave NOW.

I am completely closeted. Only one person knows I’m trans. I haven’t told any of my friends, because after some vetting I realized I couldn’t trust any of them. I am so lonely I cry all the time when I can afford any privacy in my own home. I’m so lonely, I want to be out so bad but I have no fucking money. Everyone I know seems to be transphobic in some way. I have nobody to talk to and I’m beginning to feel hopeless.

Edit: thank you guys for your incredible words of encouragement and support. It means the world to me, especially right now.

So, one of the youth that I foster went to MEPS recently. They did a prescreening for MEPS and MEPS requested a few documents, they sent them and MEPS approved them! He went to MEPS and he needs a waiver for symptoms surrounding gender dysphoria. The kicker is this: He has never been diagnosed with gender dysphoria from any therapist (the claims that MEPS found comes from the doctor putting transsexual in his files but no formal diagnosis), he has never been on any hormones nor socially transitioned. He wouldn’t have anything other in his record surrounding transgender or gender dysphoria. What are his chances of an approved waiver? He really wants this since I have known and fostered him (since he was 9 years old). I just want to gauge this situation so he isn’t given false hope. His recruiter thinks he will be fine but I also don’t want to give him false hope for such a major goal/dream.

Making this on an alt but i started HRT while having 3 years left on my reserve contract, like, 2 days ago and I was wondering on how long do you think it’d take for them to notice/could I just squeeze by without them noticing? I’m paying out of pocket and get my stuff from planned parenthood. I’m also leaving for a 3-4 month TDY and then a deployment not long after. At base i sit in the corner and nobody comes to me for anything and my job does nothing because we don’t have anything to support it.

Is it doable to finish and go or will i get fried before then?

So I am a veteran and I stupidly waited to change my info on DEERS. I went to the local office to do it once but it was extremely busy and when I was still actively working a job it was hard to take the time off to do it.

Plus the VA medical side had change my info so I was fine on that end... but recently the VA changed their medical system to some new one that pulls all the info from DEERS directly.. and they cant edit the info. Only DEERS can. So now i can back to being called by my old gender pronouns and old name. And its made things super shitty.

My state ID, VA medical ID, and social security card are all updated with my current name and gender.. is there any hope of me changing my info with DEERS still? I dont have an updated Birth Certificate however I could likely get one since I was born in California just would take a bit since I live no where near there.

With the documents I have listed above do you think I will be able to do the following?

1. Can I at least change my first name?

2. Will I be able to change my Gender / Sex?

Any recommendations on what I should do?

So as I have been filling out job applications, I'm finding it a little complicated to explain my discharge from the navy to employers. I usually put stuff that is technically true like "honorable discharge." Not sure if they would pry more than that. Despite willing to sacrifice and forgo my transition, I still lost everything. So now I'm just going full on with it. So far I've been on a steady 5 months of HRT and starting to go through the awkward androgynous phase to where they can probably tell why I got discharged. Since I'm in a red state like Florida, they may be especially judgemental about it. Has anyone had any luck with this whole process? Thanks in advance.

My PAR has been at this persons desk for over a months now. It’s pretty far into the process but hasn’t moved anymore for about little over a months.

Does anyone know who Jennifer Garrison is? Army. It’s been with her for a while now. After getting recommended for approval by 12 others.

I volsep'd with the 1st wave way back when I ended up being on admin leave all the way up till Feb when I finally left. I went home and now im trying to get my life back together and move on but I just got a letter saying I owe over 6k in bonus recoupment who do I call to fight this. I was told if I vol sep'd the bonus recoupment wasn't a thing and wouldn't ruin my life.

Just upset again I cant enlist because wth

Like seriously I volunteer separated the 1st day it was an option been on adsep for so long has literally anyone gotten out yet?

It’s probably the worst idea ever but does anyone pack in the military?

(Im not in the USA, the trans ban does not affect me but not wanting to get outed)

I got "relieved" of duty from the military last July. I know there are mixed feelings about the military but I loved the people that I helped grow.

I'm wanting to progress now and start hrt but I'm worried about bringing up the topic with my wife and if anyone know if the VA can cover it

Hey all, USMC vet 2008-2012. I've felt feminine as far back as I can remember, but only 6 weeks ago decided to act upon it. I signed up with Plume and have been on 2mg estradiol twice a day. A few years ago I called the VA inquiring about hrt, but due to certain circumstances then, I was never able to follow through with any care. I had a physical there last July, they never mentioned the phone call I'd made, even though it's noted in my medical records. I never brought it up either (too nervous). In a few months I'll be having another physical, and I'm just wondering how they'll handle it or what they'll say. I just know there's no chance of getting nervous and hiding anymore due to the blood testing and also my budding breasts. Any advice on what or not to say? Or what to wear? Thank you for your time and advice! 💖

My egg cracked in basic and even more so in AIT, and I just got to my first duty station’s reception, and I’m just frustrated, I want to transition bad, but I also want this job, I want to stay in and finish my 3 years, but I just don’t know how to deal with it

Does anyone have advice on this? On how to deal with the Army for the next 3 years, or advice on what I should do? My family doesn’t know so explaining a separation out of nowhere isn’t going to be easy.

Any and all help/advice is helpful, please and thank you

I know this is akin to giving up, but I'm done feeling like my time is being wasted. I got stuck at C school, so literally all the things I learned in the first 1.5 years went down the drain. All I do is help check people into school and nothing else. I'm not a sailor, I'm a representation of wasted resources. I wish I was more determined to grind it out, but I have zero job satisfaction and near-zero hope of ever seeing the fleet at this point.

Any hail mary ideas?