85% sure she’s straight, and I have no shot. But I always catch her staring in meetings. How do I even start to pay her back for this?
Pork bone broth, fried minced turkey, red onion, green onion, pak choi, reddish sprouts, corn, nori, egg yolk, chilli paste. Not my usual selection of toppings, but that's what I had in the fridge. Came out great.
YIPPEE!! WOW!!!! AYYYAAYYYAYAAYAY!!!!
They didn't postpone anything for us though :\
Bottom slices of multigrain bread, reheated fries and some okra bs I put together. I swear it tastes much better than it looks 😭😭
In the fall of last year I contacted a psychiatrist. I was lonely, depressed, suicidal and falling behind on EVERYTHING. It took a lot of work, a lot of professionals, a lot of courage and a LOT of learning, but today I (19m) am in my own apartment away from my parents, cleaning up for tomorrow for when my crush comes over and we'll snuggle and watch scary movies (probably be kissing like last time). My friends live a walk distance away, and we have sleep overs.
I'm finally enjoying my life to the fullest. My psychiatrist gave me a metaphor, that in 9 months through hard inner work, I gave birth to a new me :)
She’s graduating soon, throwing it away just to be with me would be something I would be against. She let me down kindly enough where I’m rooting for her to succeed. My Belarusian country girl has a bright future.
Salmon bowl with seasoned cilantro lime rice, edamame with siracha, and a seasoned avocado
I was the one who posted the fettuccine shrimp Alfredo a couple days ago.
But the “study sesh” went really well. Obviously we didn’t study what we were supposed to and we’ll be doing that tomorrow and I think I’ll try to offer her lunch on me. Just depends on how the vibes go.
But we connected a lot on traveling, our future, classes, our college experiences, food, hobbies, lot of similar stuff and yeah, she’s just so so beautiful.
The streak has been broken, the drought purged. Had a good time, but didn’t come. Partner ended up stopping me bc we were going too long. Said she was there multiple times but wanted me to come. Hard to not feel like I was doing something wrong but they assured me I was good, big, and hot. Left feeling a little disappointed; I really didn’t even get close; but can’t expect too much from my first try I guess. Still posting here bc feeling Chad regardless.
Side note: sex is kind of insane cardio
The dough was thin but tastes yum and is healthy cuz used wheat flour
yes, i ate in my bed. woohoo life is awesome
Apologies in advance for the incel-coded title. I just need to vent a bit and it isn't very Chad-maxxing of me
This past month I left my hometown to go live with a friend several states away, didn't tell my family beforehand because I was basically running away from them. It's been good, friend's family has been very hospitable (i went to friend's mom's wedding. Her now husband is a silly guy and wonderfully strange) and they love me a lot.
My hair stopped falling as much, I don't have near constant suicidal thoughts anymore, and my mental health has been very manageable since I got there.
I still have a chronic jaw issue due to the stress though, and I can't eat anything harder than a few slices of beef jerky without making my mouth go "out of commission" for the rest of the day, so that sucks. But otherwise I've never been better. I struck a deal for a private room and I'm looking for a job now, but everything seems so much more manageable? I don't want to die now, I may start T soon and I want to begin it all.
And yet, at night I want nothing but to talk to my mom. Yes she fucking sucked, and she took my abusive father's side over me and pushed me back into the closet multiple times, and I tried so hard to have her be A part of my life and it never worked jus made things worse for me. But I miss her, and I miss hugging her and talking to her, even if it ended bad when she had a rough day and only had me to scream at.
I miss my mom, I want to hug her :(
Thanks for reading. I love you.