I keep comparing myself to my partner's ex and I am crippled
I have always thought of myself as an achiever. I am a 1w2-3w2 on the enneagram so that will give you a hint.
I know I'm not the smartest but I am strategic and resourceful. Maybe my environment hasn't given me the best standard, maybe I really am not part of the cream of the crop but I feel so anxious because I do not understand why my partner is with me.
He is a well decorated, internationally acclaimed figure in his field and his star is continuously rising. His ex has an MBA from one of the worlds top3 schools and works at one of the worlds largest tech companies and earns 4x more than what I do.
I keep checking her profiles: social media, pinterest, even linkedin and it's so pathetic. I'm pathetic. But I can't help the feeling of needing to know, needing to compare.
Although I get by, I'm always just scraping by to be called good. Now I just feel so insecure and no enough.
Idk why I'm posting this here but I just feel so crippled now I feel like I am going to implode.