r/HearingVoicesNetwork

I went into psychosis a couple years ago and was giving medication in the psych ward the Voice has stopped immediately and throughout the time that I was on medication. I missed getting high off of drugs and alcohol so I decided to come off the medication and I ended up in psychosis again I'm back on medication and the voices have subsided in the volume but they still persist on a daily basis and are far from Gone.

The voice in my head insist they are the voices of real people. Communicating by telepathy I think, but I'm not sure as it is useless in giving me any useful information. He claims I have a debt and that I owe him money and if I don't pay that people I care about will be killed. He claims it is pointless to try to win a battle as there are too many people involved.

I know there's a lot of Technology out there of mind control, putting thoughts in your head and reading your thoughts etc but the evidence more information out there is a bit dicey. Is this all just in my head or is it possible this voice is of somebody real? It wants to control everything I do including how I spend my money, which he wants for himself. He is unwilling to give me any evidence that it is real, will do nothing to show me proof that I owe somebody money and what I owe it for.

Nevertheless, he nags all day, everyday insisting I do so...

I haven't heard my story exactly so I'm wondering if anybody else out there has some more stories or knows the truth about whether this technology exists and that is being used on innocent civilians?

Have you ever had a journal where you write things you hear in a different colored pen than your own ideas/thoughts ink color 🤷🏽‍♂️

What is exactly hell music?

A number people having psychosis report hearing hell music? What exactly is it?

I hear violin and church bells.

And the water seems to talk to me..

White Elephant by Emils Salmins. A play upon the Buddhist proverb of the Blind Men and the Elephant, this iteration making a statement on the lumbering and perhaps inept nature of forces greater than ourselves. \"Bottoms up!\"

This weekly post was inspired to give the community a place to vent and share common frustrations we find in our lives. If you have more to share on this topic than what would fit in a single comment please feel free to make a separate post! Are you finding conflict with your care-team? Are the medications you're on making life impossible? Have you lost your 3rd job this year because the voices cause you to act oddly around your peers? Are you finding everyone in your life has turned their back on you now that you've fallen into a discriminated category of "unsafe" or "mentally unwell" person? Have you attempted to get your close family and friends to engage in VCVC with you, instead finding they cannot offer you the first nicety?

Feel free to let the world know of your survived abuses, both direct (physical violence) and indirect (neglect or exclusion through social maneuverings) in this post. Everyone's welcome to commiserate and offer paralleling stories of received harm and how they carried on.

Not sure if she ever really gives a health update for Jordan Peterson, and this is fairly tedious, but watching the entire video is enlightening about some permanent and severe effects from prescription ssris and benzodiazepines. Do I agree with the “ lion diet?” Maybe not, and maybe not even their politics but I have always found J Peterson to be talkative and interesting, and no one really deserves to suffer like this.

As I was watching all I could hope for is that her message reaches a wider audience. Something needs to be done about these dangerous drugs.

I have been 'diagnosed' for 10 years. I originally refused medication. After not having any support, knowledge, or wisdom of how to manage my experiences, I was eventually 'strongly encouraged' to go to the hospital. After going to the hospital, I have been on and off medication since 2019. The past 3 years, I have been forced to take high doses of medication, multiple anti psychotics, and was even briefly put on clozapine. I was previously forced to take anti psychotic injections given to me by a nurse. Now that I am on oral meds, I have been able to stop taking them.

The medication has not impacted the voices at all. I have been taking huge amounts of two different types of antipsychotics with no effect. I have been put on clozapine and hospitalized for 4 months. Without any change to my voice. The medication causes me to consider suicide at times. It is only the medication that makes me feel this way. I have stopped taking it because I can't live like that anymore. It is the best decision I have ever made. The voices talk to me and are very supportive and encourage me, comment on my thoughts, and guide me to a place where I love myself and everyone else more. The voices are not impacted by the medication, so I don't see why I should take that crap that blocks dopamine, lowers motivation, and happiness.

It's been about a month, and everyone has told me that I am doing so much better. It's incredible. The medication actually stops me from interacting with people, having a personality, and enjoying life.

especially when you are trying to explain why you do certain things that seem odd now.

Like, I wont cook if theres a really good cook in the house, because while I was being tortured one fo the voices that was really bad was a certain red-headed yelling dick of a chef and he screamed, yelled, called names, said i was bad at it, not doing it right, blahblahblah and its not like Im trying to cook at that level or anything but just anything i did there he was, screaming yelling and carrying on and I didnt cook anything for a long time after, but im certainly not going to cook when someone else is there who might have the same thoughts.

But it seems weird and fussy, and even mean and uncharitable and judgemental to friends even though i try to be up front with people about being tortured by voices for years, I dont think they fully grasp the meaning. I think they will always think torture is hyperbole or an exaggeration or even mostly a fabrication, they dont understand that it was actually torture and im not equipped to just get over these weird hangups i developed after.

My voices claim to be human being or people. But not once have they ever said they were doing anything a person in the physical world would do. Like eat, drink, have to go to the bathroom, sleep, be hot or cold.

So I dont think there is anything physical about thek. They are disencarnates or entities.

https://rumble.com/v748q0g-energy-weapons-and-testing-dr.-robert-duncan.html?e9s=src_v1_s%2Csrc_v1_s_o&sci=ca1dfd16-8e62-413c-b79c-380f59df9338

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The Two of Staffs, Pentacles, Swords, and Cups from the iconic Rider–Waite Tarot deck.

In the spirit of "twos" and community building, share anecdotes of how you've interacted with another experiencer, voice hearer, internal personality, or phenomena of your mind. You're welcome to make your own separate post on this topic if you feel you'd have more to share.

How did this other individual impact your views? Did they show you something you otherwise didn't know, or did they send you on a wild goose chase? Did they have a name (please don't name other reddit users disparagingly, instead this is a great opportunity to commend your fellow experiencers!), did they share a common belief with you?

How has this singular "other" made a difference in your journey? Take this as an opportunity to share with the rest of the community as much as you'd care to about this separate mind and its impact on yours.

Below is an excerpt (the majority) of a letter I'm sending to an inmate incarcerated in the state of Texas. His family posted last month to the community here asking if anyone would like to send correspondence to them.

"Hello,

In 2019 my voices began, they stole much from me. I lost track of reality, my mind was consumed by intelligent personalities who inflicted tremendous pain and anxiety, I lost weight, from 190lbs to around 140lbs, I slept for less than 8 hours a week as my voices raped me every night starting at sunset, this torment lasted for years and slowly faded out. My hair would fall out and grow back in phases. I lost my job, my home, my family cast me out, and for a time I lost touch with all reality.

Today things are very different for me. I know that over1/4 people alive report this phenomena to some degree. I assume everyone actually does have this experience and it is only a personal fluency or desire to discuss one’s own mind that separates those who say they do from those who don’t. It is so easy to find art about this phenomenon I would suggest it is more challenging to find widely acclaimed art that is not about this experience. I write this to assure you that you are not alone. Your loved one shared briefly about your situation in an online forum… it is a strange collection of people, many are effectively disabled by choice in my eyes, people who seek disability pay and medical labels in attempts to quell this burden. Other have a more supportive (deluding in my eyes) experience and spend their time entertaining spirituality (a cool thing to do) in much less than productive ways. Not making are or working on self improvement but instead spending great efforts simply complaining about the phenomena (yes it is a torture) or attempting to “preach” and twist other’s beliefs. I assume it to be a developmental phase weighing over the entire community. The HVN was not always like this.

I personally believe in magic and see its practice as a real and academically vetted thing. Authors like Jordan B Peterson’s Maps of Meaning talk at length about how the mind and all cultures form… yes how the mind forms… Jordan B Peterson is a tenured professor of Behavioral Psychology and has been all over the news in the last 15 years. His work has been highly politicized (he’s viewed as rather “right) but his work has nothing to do with American politics. I don’t know if you can request books, I’ll list a few you should check out.

1             Jordan B Peterson – Maps of Meaning

1.5        Jordan B Peterson – 12 Rules for Life

2             Joseph Campbell – The Hearo With A Thousand Faces

Julian Jaynes – The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind

Elyn Saks – The Center Cannot Hold

Joanne Greenberg – I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

3             Marcus Aurelius – Meditations

4             Seneca – Letters from a Stoic

Most of #2 is going to be reiterated in #1, both are good and written by very successful people who heard voices. Largely the philosophy that guided these two people to wellness and power is detailed in #3, and #4. #5 (below) may interest you as it is written by a former slave, a stoic philosopher who lived at the time of Jesus Christ, in modern day Turkey

5             Epictetus – Enchiridon (The Handbook)

All three (3,4,5) of these “stoics” believed the mind to be “bicameral” and comprised both of us the human and of spirits that come and go from all of us. That all humans were like vessels that housed these spirits. They believed that through meditation and other spiritual practice a human could have sway over their mental company. If you read any memoirs of great leaders/thinkers you will see most all privately hold these beliefs to some degree.

I don’t want to tell you what to do or what to believe. But I would offer that there is little to do locked up other that sit with one’s own mind. I think it would be the most practical use of one’s own mind/time to meditate and hone the ancient skills of magic. When you close your eyes do you see images/colors? Wikipedia calls this phenomena “hypnogogic imagery” and offers the slang term “the prisoner’s cinema.” I have seen it since my voices began and have regularly seen images of future events, beautiful women who carry a personality and play over my mental faculties no human could ever compare to. The Greeks (ancient) called this “phantasia” and European mystics have always simply called this “second sight”… witchcraft. I believe it is simply what all people are capable of provided they desired to seek out the experience.

I have been told you have a short stay locked up. I would urge you to put your thought to what you can get out of your time there and what you can do once you get out. If you experience this and make art (your people say you do) you are well suited to a real adventure. The matter of your mental experience seems to be the crucial ingredient that leads all successful artists to acclaim. More power to you.

I know form personal experience that being confined can make this mental phenomena an ACTUAL HELL. If you are like me and other I know you are sure to be seasoned by this torture and made stronger by bouts you have no say in avoiding. I can’t tell you how sorry I am you’re going through what you’re surviving today. Please believe in yourself, know you are challenged by the voices and by the dim minds of this world because you are worthy, perhaps far more worthy that the voices will allow you to see for yourself.

I suspect you are here for a great purpose. I would urge you to get in touch with me once free. Your people will have my online info. I welcome you to see the world of the HVN, join us in becoming a facilitator (it’s a great thing to put on a resume and does pay some) it’s a great way to vanquish the hell in one’s own mind and in the minds of others. In the HVN we don’t tell others what to believe or what to do. If you mail Carolin Mazel-Carlton of the Wildflower Alliance I am sure she would send back to you.

Carolin Mazel-Carlton

Wildflower Alliance

PO BOX 893

Holyoke, MA 01041

I look forward to corresponding more and regularly with you. Please know you are not alone and your experience is real."

I write my name here at the conclusion of the letter. If you are interested in making a pen pal or would like to send information to this individual; their family can be reached at u/Thin_Consequence2276.

All the best!

Wondering if anyone else has experiences like this.

I had a voice giggle through my body a lot while apparently creating a hallucination of a heart attack (he found it funny that I kept moving away from the hallucination even though I personally didn't find it very funny). My voices apparently also find it very amusing that I created a thoughtform/servitor to shoot at them, and they also find it amusing when imagine things such as Patrick the starfish farting.

Does anyone else have an experience like this where your voices emote using your body?