r/FIREyFemmes

The money is just in index funds and bonds... I didn't do anything special.

It's really amazing how the snowball keeps getting bigger once it's started. I guess I'm posting this because I can only tell one IRL person, and I really want to encourage other people to build their own snowball.

I don't feel like I missed out on much in my working years. I did drive/keep a cheap car and live in a modest apartment. I went to all the concerts and dinners I wanted to. Traveled when I could.... tipped people, bought gifts, donated to charity...etc

It’s been my absolute dream to retire early.

My husband is very status quo and was fighting the idea for years. He wasn’t willing to live frugally so I thought to myself, better build something that’ll give me the money and freedom I want.

We’re separated and going to be divorcing this year.

Meanwhile I’ve been working on my business for years.

And today I think… I think I realized I’m living my dream.

I’m traveling to be on site with a client today, and I realized it’s the first city I had my first job in.

I made more today—TODAY… as in, in a single DAY—than I did that entire year of full time work. And almost as much as I made in *two* years of full time work, working for someone else.

Oh my god.

I have no one to tell. I whispered it to strangers I passed on the street, but I want to be able to live it with my whole heart and say it with my whole chest.

I’m still getting my financial footing under me, so I’m no where near FIRE yet, but I’m on my way.

Phew girl, I’m on my way.

Edit to add: I’ve heard stories about people posting and going to bed and having no idea the traction it would gain over night but this is the first time it happened to me 💜 I am blown away and so happy to spend my morning receiving this and responding! THANK YOU!

Hi,

I only recently discovered the FIRE community.

Here are my key stats:
36, Female, 150k salary VHCOL
NW 650k of which 300 in 401k&Roth; 350k currently in savings account

Question 1: How to transfer those 350k into the market? Which index funds? I have been super afraid that market goes down but feel I missed the biggest moments, so helpful for good advice.

Question 2: I am currently saving/investing 60k/year (mega backdoor Roth and 401k) and want to keep that up until we have kids, so probably another year or so. Would I be able to Coast FIRE from then on if I want to retire by 60? I love to travel internationally and would also like to buy a home eventually. Most childcare expenses would probably come from my paycheck (see below).

Partner is 43, 100k salary and until recently saved 50$/month in 401k. His total NW is 270k in brokerage SP500, most of which gifted from parents. He expects 500k inheritance in 10-15 years (today’s value).

His (non)savings habits have been a major issue and the reason we held off marriage. He recently started contributing more to 401k but would be unable to contribute significantly to childcare expenses.

In this financial setup, I would only get married and have kids with iron-clad prenup (no shared finances; common account where each contributes exact same $ amount; rest completely separate).

Question 3: Is that prenup plan a good idea? How have you worked toward aFIRE goals if partner deprioritizes retirement and prefers to eat out every other day? For now, I am thinking I can accept that if it comes all out of his pocket. But any perspective appreciated.

Question 4: Related to question 3, does it make sense to buy home together where I pay (and own) 2/3 of the house?

Thanks!

Hello everyone. I turned 25 last month and with that I was given ownership by my mom to a brokerage account that contains shares from 8 individual stocks, 1 ETF, and 57K in cash that total to 2.1 million. Most of it comes from the 8 stocks.

I currently work freelance in film/tv and photography and it's been rough financially with how inconsistent work can be, especially recently. I'm functionally unemployed in-between work. On the upside, I don't have any debt (car is paid off and no student loans). I otherwise been living my life as I have since the inheritance.

I'm interested in advice for how to manage this newfound wealth and grow it effectively. I'm also interested in getting some idea of my tax situation particularly if I were to sell some of my shares in the future.

I feel pretty late to the game, but I guess starting now(ish) is better than never.

Early 30s, I have a 401k, and a HY savings account. I haven't started investing outside of 401k because my job has strict rules around what I can / cannot do because I have access to MNPI. I can really only do pretty basic stuff (think: gold). I have a decent chunk id be willing to immediately put into investments, but not even sure what to put it towards or really how (I think I can use something like fidelity). Everything I do has to be pre-approved by work, which I'll obviously do, but I just really barely know how or where to start!

Anyway, appreciate any & all advice.

I posted here an about being laid off last year, and immediately joining a fintech late stage startup that I hated from day one, so I quit without anything lined up. Today, my accounts (retirement and non-retirement) hit my true FIRE number at $3M. and I wanted to share here since I can’t tell anyone IRL.

Long story short, I moved to the US for grad school with $6k in my pocket and a full ride scholarship 15 years ago, planning to finish my degree and go back home. But through incredible luck, now I find myself in this wild position. I’m 40, SINK (but with a dog that eats my money for lunch). Until I was 30, I didnt even know retirement was a thing as my family and family members always lived paycheck to paycheck and you work until you couldn’t work no more. I recognize I’m privileged and got lucky in many ways to reach this milestone. I know the US has so many flaws but I couldnt be more thankful to this country for the friends and opportunities it’s given me.

On Monday, I’m going back to work as I have accepted a contract gig at a place I worked and loved before to hopefully pad my accounts with the goal of buying a home in my home country. I’m so thankful of the peace of mind this gives me and the flexibility it has afforded me (like being able to quit a job I hated without anything lined up!).

Edit: thanks all. Very helpful!

I don’t have really anyone in my life that I can tell this to, so anonymous internet strangers I am telling you. I’ve shared my milestones before here, so thought I do the same again. My goal was $950k by the end of June, so I am pleasantly surprised I am ahead of schedule. I hope everyone else is also seeing success on their journey.

Hello,
I see and love this community - you all are amazing!

My spouse and I are living in a very high cost of living city, so it’s not practical to buy a home here.

However, our combined net worth is about $750,000 and our taxes are pretty high (have two kids, less than $100K in student loans, very little credit card debt).
Our accountant recommended buying a rental home and starting to diversify some real estate holdings.

We previously owned and sold two homes - had to move to this city for jobs.

What time horizon and savings amount would be best for buying a rental home? Do any of you use property managers? How do you make it the right tax vehicle and balance profitability? Adding that we want to long term own 3-4 homes to rent out in vacation cities and have this for our kids.

Suggestions welcome!

ETA: I’m a real estate attorney, I have handled nonpaying tenants at work, just not personally. Credit cards are low balance, we use them for flights. Have strong credit.

Hello everyone! I’m 27F, with a net worth of 340K+, and I work in tech (I have since I was 19) + also run a business.

My best friends have been my best friends since under grad and I love them because are the best, they care about me and they are good people. We have been together through thick and thin. We’re travelling together, later in June for a trip that I’m both excited for and nervous about.

Sometimes though, I do feel frustrated by them - one of them is in government in IT and the other is a teacher. They have fairly good work life balance compared to myself, however, with that comes a lower income in HCOL.

I occasionally get comments like ‘can you just move this meeting or take it in the car on the way to dinner?’ Or ‘oh damn you’re responding to emails in the morning (7:30 AM) and not waiting till you get to the office?’ I try to not let these comments affect me because I recognize they’re coming from a good place, and they just don’t have to do those things.

Where they fill their time with hobbies, like book club, dragon boating, etc my hobbies tend to revolve around family, the business, sleeping, working out and of course going out with them every weekend.

I love them to bits, they’re not bitchy by any means but sometimes I wish I wasn’t always the adult in our friendship. I love that they bring whimsy and joy, but I also believe in handling the practical life stuff too so that I can enjoy life down the line and am not suffering.

Am I crazy here? Am I the bitch? Has anyone else gone through this?

Hi all, I’m new to this movement but I’ve made some pretty drastic career moves lately that are finally allowing me to imagine a sort-of-secure financial future and I’m trying to do anything I can to capitalize on my momentum! I came across Her First 100k a couple months ago and was very intrigued. I am, however, put off by the constant up-selling of seminars/ courses.

Has anyone here taken any of Tori’s paid courses? What did you think? Was it worthwhile? I’ve been eyeing the stock market school in particular. Are there alternatives you’d recommend? I searched the sub and it seems Tori is a somewhat controversial figure, which makes sense. I just don’t know where to turn. I have a friend’s recommendation for a financial advisor I’m planning to meet with, but otherwise I don’t know where else to look.

Edit: thank you everyone for your comments! Really helpful advice all around, I really appreciate it! I’m definitely NOT going to spend money on Her First 100k; instead I’ll check out resources you all recommended. Thank you again!

I'm not sure if this question is allowed. If not, mods please feel free to remove it. I'm curious to know if there was any piece of media that motivated you pursue FIRE? that helped you push through mental blocks around money, investment, and so on.

I'm realizing that I have lots of fear around finances. Very frugal/scarcity mindset, and that's not the healthiest approach when it comes to money. So looking for some guidance. Thanks in advance!

Especially want to hear from those who didn’t get it from 9-5.
Edit: How long did it take?

Trying to decide what to do. I own a rental property worth about $1m. I owe about $225k on it at 3.125% interest. I net about $3k/mo in rent after all expenses. I don’t expect it will appreciate much more in value - it’s already had its pop. I expect it will net about $5-6k/mo once mortgage is totally paid off.

I expect we’ll have some major capital improvements facing us soon, especially a new roof.

I’m trying to decide whether to keep or sell and invest the proceeds in the S+P 500. I’ve always looked at this as my kids’ college fund and as a result, haven’t invested much in 529s for them. Kids are aged 7.5, 6, and 4yo so have a little time for compounding if we sell and invest that money. But it’s also a duplex located right outside of Boston so it’d also be nice to let them live in, should they so choose, someday when going to college or just after college.

On one hand it seems like this is a good hedge and good diversification. On the other hand, I worry I’m leaving money on the table by not just investing that equity into the market where it would be both liquid and potentially generate higher returns.

What would you all do in this situation? Thank you!!

I have reached the first milestone of my wealth plan and I don’t have to work but I feel so purposeless now. What to do?
I have kept this achievement myself, only me and my partner know about this massive achievement so this adds to feeling lost. Anyone else fear others envy and also the purposelessness?

Mid-30sF. Have been working for nearly 15 years, no major recurring expenses except for the occasional health scare.

Questions for you. All of my brokerage is invested in various mutual funds and stock. Is there anything else I can be doing to “put it to work?” Would you buy a property to rent out?

I’d like to eventually shift from active income (grinding in my day job and side hustles) to passive income (have no idea what to do). What ideas have you explored?

Cash: $10K

401K: $500K

HSA: $25K

Brokerage: $315K

38F turning 39 soon and freaking out about my finances since 40 is right around the corner.

Started over 2 yrs ago post divorce with a negative NW but now sitting at $25K. About $22K in car debt and no other debts. $126K salary. Should add now single mom of 3 under 9.

Currently maxing out my 401K and Roth IRA for 2026 and investing everything in the Roth. 401K is employer run so can’t touch that.

So we’re looking at closing 2026 at approximately $66-70K NW with market returns + employer 401K match.

What is one thing you did that radically changed the trajectory of your life and finances to get you where you are?

Hi all, I (33F) am looking for examples of how y'all have balanced saving for future goals with spending for things like a wedding. I have been living with my partner [33M] for a year and we are starting to discuss shared future goals including marriage, an eventual home purchase, and financial independence.

I`m 3 years into my career after 8 years of training in a PhD program in my field. My current net worth and assets are listed below, most of my savings are from the last 3 years as my salary in the PhD program was low.

My partner is a little ahead of me financially with a net worth of roughly $450,000. We split household expenses 50/50, make similar incomes, and are in sync when it comes to finances thus far. We plan on merging finances after a wedding but the numbers listed below are my own.

My net worth : ~$225,000

Retirement

(401k current workplace): ~$92,000

(DCP contributions from PhD): ~$6,500

(Roth IRA): ~$55,000

(Taxable brokerage): ~$40,000

Emergency fund:

(Ibonds): ~$6400

(SGOV ETF): ~14,500

Average Spend ~$4500 / mo (my share of expenses) VHCOL

Savings and future savings goals

I contribute the max to my 401k, Roth IRA (backdoor), HSA, which totals ~$36,000 in retirement contributions per year. I have also been aggressively contributing any leftover cash every month to my taxable brokerage usually about 3k per month for retirement purposes. My current feeling is that I can dedicate savings to other future goals like a house down payment once my retirement investments reach the equivalent of 30% saved at my current salary 180k and bring me to roughly 1.3x my salary before age 34.

At 1.3x my salary I would plan on diverting some of my taxable retirement contributions to a house down payment fund as we would like to be able to purchase sometime in the next 3-5 years.

We are not sure of our family planning goals yet but I would like to have the flexibility in the future to have financial stability required to have a child.

Future spending goals:

Wedding ? Engagement ?

Honestly, I am conflicted here as from a financial perspective I don't feel ahead of our goals enough to warrant spending on a wedding but I also love the idea of merging our friends and families to celebrate.

I am curious to hear how people decided whether it was responsible to spend on something like a wedding when they were in the accumulation phase of their journey and how they set budgets. I am generally frugal and cannot imaging spending 1-20k (or more ?) on something like a party.

I also welcome general advice or stories from your accumulation years! I talk about finances and planning extensively with my partner but would love to hear more perspectives. :)

TLDR when is it appropriate to spend on something like a wedding in your financial journey

I’m 23 making about 83k a year and my monthly expenses are really low, probably around $900/month including stuff I want, not just necessities. I currently have around 50k saved.

I keep thinking about the future and honestly I do not want to work forever. I’m trying to figure out what a realistic number is to aim for financially where your money can basically start working for you instead of depending fully on a paycheck.

For people who are financially smart or already doing this, what would you personally aim for in my position? And once you hit that number, what would you actually do with the money?

I’m not looking for get rich quick advice. I’m more interested in smart long term investments or income producing assets that are relatively safe and reliable. What realistically creates steady income over time?

My emergency and vacation funds are in a HYSA, but I'm wondering if my down payment fund should be moved somewhere with better returns than the 3.4% APY I get from my savings account. I don't plan on touching it for another 2-3 years. Is HYSA the best place? Would a federal money market fund yield better returns? Where do you hold your medium term cash?