r/CharlotteDobreFans

AITA: This is my first time ever posting. But as someone who chooses not to advertise issues with family (they know the basics) i need some input. Personally I dont feel like im in the wrong especially being his reaction gives me great joy. 🤣 here is the back story and its a long one.

I (44f) met the man child (49m) I am married to 20 years ago. We have been married 15 years. I had 2 daughters when we met aged 4 and 2. Due to circumstances he moved in with me fast. We now have a son who is 19 and my daughters are 24 and 22. Three years after we got married his drinking got out of hand and he turned physical. I kicked him out and we lived separate for several years but still did stuff together as a family as long as he wasn't drinking.

He would have our son every other week. It got to the point my sone no longer wanted to go to his father's as he would drink and have his friends there constantly. Things got bad again and I ended up having him arrested and a full stay away order issued for me and the kids.

The pandemic hit which made court stop so it was all at a stand still. Surprisingly he got sober. And after two years of him being sober we talked and he moved back in with me. I made it clear to him if he started drinking again I was done. He turns into a completely different person when he drinks. Within a year of him moving back in I settled with workers comp and purchased our property. Stupidly I believed in his sobriety and added his name to the property.

Well long story short he started coming home smelling of alcohol. Id ask and he would lie to my face so I again reminded him I would not deal with him drinking. Within 2 weeks he couldn't lie about it anymore. 6 years of sobriety gone. So I told him I was done.

His drinking got bad fast after that and he tried to set my couch on fire and said he would burn the house down with me and the kids in it. I had him arrested again and removed. I made it clear to him I was done and we needed to figure out the divorce without fighting preferably. Due to his tools etc being in my garage I lowered the order to non harassment so his coworkers didn't have to keep coming to get his tools.

SIDE NOTE I am 100% disabled due to my neck, nerve damage, shoulder, lower spine, right hip and right knee. I havent been able to work since 2010. When I settled my case I no longer had income coming in. When the drinking started so did the digs and names calling, running me down etc. He got sober again and the friend he was staying with was headed to jail so he had nowhere to go. After 3 months of him wearing me down I agreed he could put his camper on the property temporarily.

He started saying he wanted to move back in and make it work. I kept saying no. While he was trying to make me take him back I found out he was messaging other woman and trying to sleep with them. The drinking started again and he turned to trying to guilt trip me into sleeping with him and being with him by using the finances against me and saying im his wife and he should be allowed to have sex whenever he wants it and me saying no is why hes looking elsewhere. So I stand my ground and tell him I no longer even have desire for affection and intimacy as he has ruined it for me. His response was i must be with someone else then.

(Also found out he was using coke) he has gone off the rails accusing me. And seriously thinking he hears me and my "boyfriend " ( who doesn't exist) having giggity at night. (He sits on my porch listening) and that my boyfriend hides whenever he comes in the house. Its so much more in depth of crazy but thats the gist of it. He has actually called the cops on me and my " boyfriend " saying we were in his camper under his bed getting it on...... ( the bed that goes to the floor and you cant get under)

he keeps saying the judge will not make him leave the land as I have no income (working on getting disability) and he won't pay me alimony. I was just continuing to say no one is here you need help etc. Finally I said we will let the judge decide and go with what the court says. This set him off and he started saying im threatening to take his home from him etc and still uses finances against me.

If I say I won't sleep with him he says he won't keep paying the bills like we agreed to while he was on the land. His new thing is calling me names and running me down in messages all the time. When that wasn't getting the reaction he wanted he started using my name and nickname trying to irritate me. Again that didn't have the desired affect but I was sick of it.

So the reason for my post. Due to just being done. I have started using his name on him. Now side note he is a junior and hates that fact. So I started with just his name which set him off and made him double down on running me down etc. So I started adding the junior and oh boy does he go off the rails when I do. Accuses me of calling him names the whole nine yard. So fellow readers am I the AH for purposefully using his name just to piss him off? Meanwhile i am working on the divorce with the help of a local advocate center as he is abusive and i have no income. ​

My (20F) husband (20M) has 2 moms. A step mom, Beth (mid-late30’s) and his bio mom Kate(39F).

Kate and Beth are no contact unless absolutely necessary. Kate always somehow knows what’s going on in her ex husband’s household. Apparently a “mutual friend” informs her of everything that she knows. I suspected my husbands sisters were the ones sharing information until I spoke to Beth about this mutual friend who tells Kate all her business, and I told her what was said. Beth said that she didn’t tell the daughters that information, and proceeded to say that sometimes she thinks that Kate bugged their phones. She didn’t try to find out who the friend is because she already had other problems.

Fast forward to today, Kate started spilling more information to me from this friend. She never tells me the name of this person but I’ve always felt sorry for Beth, because the things that this mystery woman tells Kate seems personal in nature. It’s messed up because Beth doesn’t associate with Kate by choice, so to tell anyone- especially HER this information is giving fake bitch.

I’ll give some context of what’s being said- Beth is in the process of a divorce, so naturally she tells a trusted friend about it 😑. But this woman disgusts me. All I know is that she’s Beth’s ex-coworker.

AITA for feeling like my partner emotionally cheated on me with cam girls?

I (26F) have been with my partner “Jake” (41M) for 7 years and we have children together. Over the past few months, we’ve had multiple arguments about him going on cam girl websites, spending money on women, and messaging them privately.

I’ve told him over and over again that this crosses a line for me and feels completely different to just watching porn because it’s interactive and personal. I’ve tried explaining that it makes me feel embarrassed, disrespected, and honestly like I’m not enough for him.

The biggest issue is this isn’t a one-time thing. I’ve forgiven him multiple times in the past after he promised he’d stop. Every time I found out, there would be tears, apologies, excuses, and promises that it would never happen again. I wanted to believe him because I love him and didn’t want to throw our relationship away over it.

Recently, I found out he’s spent hundreds of pounds paying women on these sites just in the last 3 months alone. Not just watching, but paying women directly and messaging them. He’s even paid for things on these sites while I’ve literally been in the other room, which honestly made me feel humiliated and completely disrespected.

Last Sunday, everything finally blew up. I completely broke down crying in front of him telling him how much this was destroying my confidence and how cheated on I felt by it all. He promised me face to face that he was done with it and wouldn’t go on those sites again.

A day later, I left the house for a few days to clear my head and then found out he had already gone back on the website again on Monday. What makes it worse is he can’t even blame being drunk because he hadn’t even had a drink.

Now I feel emotionally exhausted and honestly close to done with the relationship because I feel like my feelings and boundaries mean nothing to him. He says it’s “not cheating” because it’s online, but to me paying women for sexual attention and interacting with them personally absolutely crosses a line.

AITA for seeing this as cheating and feeling like I can’t trust him anymore?

Hello! I need advice about my relationship. Just a little context. My husband(36m) and I(35f) have been together for 20 years. We've had seriously rocky times throughout, but always seem to work it out. One thing that has never suffered is our sex life. At least 2/3 times a week even if we weren't in the best shape in the relationship. Last year, I confronted him on some lies involving his coworker (51f) whom he's been close to for years (its always bothered me (their relationship) and he knows this but continued the relationship at work. He left me that day. "Next time you hear from me will be through an attorney". After a year of fighting and "working on it ", we decided to give it another go because despite everything, there IS love there as well as 2 daughters. During that year, we had sex a few times and were still intimate. After we decided to stay together, something changed. He won't touch me. After 6 months I finally broke down and asked why. He said he was just stressed or didn't think about it. He said it wasn't me, it was him. We did have sex that day. I thought maybe it had broken the ice and we were going to be ok. We'll, its now been another 3 months. He doesn't even look at me when I'm naked. He doesn't flirt or even seem interested in the least. I've mentioned it a few times (hey, we should have sex soon) (rubbing my booty on him in bed) but I get a "yeah that sounds good " or just some generic response. I feel unattractive. I feel like he doesn't want me anymore. I'm disgusting. And now that I think about it, its ALWAYS been me to initiate it. Has he ever actually wanted me sexually? Whats so wrong with me? I know I'm not the prettiest woman, but I get hit on every so often. I get asked out at bars sometimes. I'm just lost.

TLDR; after 20 years, husband no longer interested in intimacy