u/Suspicious_Bid_9685

My (20F) husband (20M) has 2 moms. A step mom, Beth (mid-late30’s) and his bio mom Kate(39F).

Kate and Beth are no contact unless absolutely necessary. Kate always somehow knows what’s going on in her ex husband’s household. Apparently a “mutual friend” informs her of everything that she knows. I suspected my husbands sisters were the ones sharing information until I spoke to Beth about this mutual friend who tells Kate all her business, and I told her what was said. Beth said that she didn’t tell the daughters that information, and proceeded to say that sometimes she thinks that Kate bugged their phones. She didn’t try to find out who the friend is because she already had other problems.

Fast forward to today, Kate started spilling more information to me from this friend. She never tells me the name of this person but I’ve always felt sorry for Beth, because the things that this mystery woman tells Kate seems personal in nature. It’s messed up because Beth doesn’t associate with Kate by choice, so to tell anyone- especially HER this information is giving fake bitch.

I’ll give some context of what’s being said- Beth is in the process of a divorce, so naturally she tells a trusted friend about it 😑. But this woman disgusts me. All I know is that she’s Beth’s ex-coworker.

I’ve had to go back and censor this several times for Reddit, so sorry in advance.

I’m gonna try to get to the point fast. My (20F) husband (20M) invited my SIL to a house party about a month ago. She told me privately that my husband grap3d her 10 years ago. The details were disgusting and I didn’t think she was lying because why would she say that about her own brother? Believing her was a huge mistake and I wish i could go back to that night with what I know today. We got evidence that she was lying, and I was informed about her past lying pattern from MIL. Since then, my husband and I have continued with our life and we try to avoid her. MIL wanted us all to sit down and talk one evening and it didn’t go well. Everyone was p155ed. She’s sticking with her story that what she said is true, and my opinion is that she doesn’t want to say that she’s lying because it will only reinforce that she’s a liar.

So, after the big fight she told MIL that she doesn’t want me to attend her graduation but she wants my husband to, so MIL passed the info along to me, and it annoyed me for some reason even though I wasn’t even gonna go in the first place.

MIL, husband and I agreed that MIL and FIL would throw a birthday party for our daughter. I’d already been thinking about taking on the expense while allowing MIL to continue picking the theme and decor, because she probably wants SIL to be there so it didn’t feel right for me to let her pay AND her daughter can’t go. So I told her that after she told me about the graduation, and it probably seemed like it was a clap back but i was genuinely waiting for a good time to talk about it and after that was said, it reminded me.

MIL’s response was to try to hand off the entire party to us when that’s not what I was trying to do. She wanted to pay for it so I told her she can, and that I was just trying to do the right thing. She was telling me that she wants her kids to be there, so obviously that means SIL. I said that SIL needs to apologize for all the stress she’s caused and that a cherry on top would be for her to stop accusing my husband of grap3 and/or admitting that she lied. She told SIL and she said she has “nothing to apologize for”. So I’m standing my ground but MIL says that I’m weaponizing my child and I know that all I’m doing is not letting SIL disrespect my family with that appalling tale she’s telling everyone. But maybe I’m going about it wrong? AIO?