u/Affectionate_Beach_9

feeling like my partner emotionally cheated on me with cam girls?

I (26F) have been with my partner “Jake” (41M) for 7 years and we have children together. Over the past few months, we’ve had multiple arguments about him going on cam girl websites, spending money on women, and messaging them privately.

I’ve told him over and over again that this crosses a line for me and feels completely different to just watching porn because it’s interactive and personal. I’ve tried explaining that it makes me feel embarrassed, disrespected, and honestly like I’m not enough for him.

The biggest issue is this isn’t a one-time thing. I’ve forgiven him multiple times in the past after he promised he’d stop. Every time I found out, there would be tears, apologies, excuses, and promises that it would never happen again. I wanted to believe him because I love him and didn’t want to throw our relationship away over it.

Recently, I found out he’s spent hundreds of pounds paying women on these sites just in the last 3 months alone. Not just watching, but paying women directly and messaging them. He’s even paid for things on these sites while I’ve literally been in the other room, which honestly made me feel humiliated and completely disrespected.

Last Sunday, everything finally blew up. I completely broke down crying in front of him telling him how much this was destroying my confidence and how cheated on I felt by it all. He promised me face to face that he was done with it and wouldn’t go on those sites again.

A day later, I left the house for a few days to clear my head and then found out he had already gone back on the website again on Monday. What makes it worse is he can’t even blame being drunk because he hadn’t even had a drink.

Now I feel emotionally exhausted and honestly close to done with the relationship because I feel like my feelings and boundaries mean nothing to him. He says it’s “not cheating” because it’s online, but to me paying women for sexual attention and interacting with them personally absolutely crosses a line.

Is he chesting? Am I going crazy?

AITA for feeling like my partner emotionally cheated on me with cam girls?

I (26F) have been with my partner “Jake” (41M) for 7 years and we have children together. Over the past few months, we’ve had multiple arguments about him going on cam girl websites, spending money on women, and messaging them privately.

I’ve told him over and over again that this crosses a line for me and feels completely different to just watching porn because it’s interactive and personal. I’ve tried explaining that it makes me feel embarrassed, disrespected, and honestly like I’m not enough for him.

The biggest issue is this isn’t a one-time thing. I’ve forgiven him multiple times in the past after he promised he’d stop. Every time I found out, there would be tears, apologies, excuses, and promises that it would never happen again. I wanted to believe him because I love him and didn’t want to throw our relationship away over it.

Recently, I found out he’s spent hundreds of pounds paying women on these sites just in the last 3 months alone. Not just watching, but paying women directly and messaging them. He’s even paid for things on these sites while I’ve literally been in the other room, which honestly made me feel humiliated and completely disrespected.

Last Sunday, everything finally blew up. I completely broke down crying in front of him telling him how much this was destroying my confidence and how cheated on I felt by it all. He promised me face to face that he was done with it and wouldn’t go on those sites again.

A day later, I left the house for a few days to clear my head and then found out he had already gone back on the website again on Monday. What makes it worse is he can’t even blame being drunk because he hadn’t even had a drink.

Now I feel emotionally exhausted and honestly close to done with the relationship because I feel like my feelings and boundaries mean nothing to him. He says it’s “not cheating” because it’s online, but to me paying women for sexual attention and interacting with them personally absolutely crosses a line.

AITA for seeing this as cheating and feeling like I can’t trust him anymore?