u/ResponsibleCard325

Ok so I (26F) met this guy (28M) on Bumble. We’ve been texting every day since we matched and have gone on 2 dates so far. We talk pretty consistently—about our day, plans, casual stuff. He seems like a good guy overall, but something just isn’t clicking for me and I don’t know if I feel romantic attraction.

At the first date everything was fine—pretty short (a bit over an hour), nothing weird, decent vibe.

For the second date, he suggested going to a restaurant, which I appreciated because it showed initiative and interest. I hadn’t eaten beforehand because I thought we will eat at the restaurant. But when we sat down, the first thing he asked was if I wanted to eat. That’s when I realized he didn’t plan to eat. I asked him if he wanted something anyway, and he said he had a late lunch (around 2–3pm; the date was at 7), but that I could eat if I wanted.

That honestly made me a bit uncomfortable—it didn’t feel right to sit there eating alone, so I said I wasn’t that hungry either and suggested dessert instead. Then he made a few kind of subtle jokes implying dessert there was too expensive (it was a fancy restaurant, but it was his idea) and that we should go somewhere else for it. In the end, we just had drinks. What bothered me is that he didn’t communicate beforehand that he didn’t plan to eat—if I had known, I would’ve adjusted too. For context, I’m really not picky about where we go; I’ve told him I’m fine with anything, I just care about getting to know the person.

Conversation-wise, it was okay, but not great. We had eye contact, but sometimes while I was talking he’d get distracted by people passing by (especially women). Later I noticed he kind of scanned everyone, including men, so I figured it might just be a habit of his—but it still made him seem less present in moments. Later, he also made a few comments about how some teenagers were dressed, and it seemed a bit judgmental to me. I told him that, and he said fine, he wouldn’t say anything anymore and made a gesture like he was zipping his mouth shut. After a short while, I told him to go ahead and talk because he wasn’t saying anything anymore, and he said, ‘Oh, okay, now I’m allowed to talk,’ which felt a bit childish, even though he was probably trying to make a joke.

I was also expecting slightly deeper conversations. I tried to steer things that way (like asking about family, etc.), but we mostly stayed on surface-level topics like the city we both live in, weather, what book we read or movie we watched. At one point I asked for his full name (I only knew his first name), and he seemed a bit surprised/like it was a weird question?

He is funny, which helped me feel relaxed, but it also feels like he doesn’t take anything seriously. He also mentioned his ex multiple times in random contexts (like walking around the area “with his ex” or watching certain shows “with his ex”), which felt unnecessary. He said they broke up 6 months ago after a 2-year relationship and that he’s ready for something new.

After the date, we walked a bit and he kissed me twice—but I honestly felt nothing. I know it’s early (we’ve only known each other ~2 weeks), but still.

Since then, he told me he really likes me and is already planning a third date.

Now I’m conflicted. I don’t want to lead him on, but I also wonder if I’m overanalyzing or expecting too much too early. I’ve never been in a relationship before—not because I couldn’t (I went on dates), but because I didn’t want to settle just to fit a timeline and I didn’t find someone that was ready for something serious. I’m looking for a serious relationship, not something casual (I’ve been clear about that, and he said he’s looking for the same.)

I’m very independent and financially secure—I can afford anything I want. I think I tend to overanalyze because I’m so used to being independent, and I genuinely enjoy being on my own.

So I guess my question is: am I overthinking normal early-stage dating stuff, or is it fair to feel like something’s off and step back?

Ok so I (26F) met this guy (28M) on a dating app. We’ve been texting every day since we matched and have gone on 2 dates so far. We talk pretty consistently—about our day, plans, casual stuff. He seems like a good guy overall, but something just isn’t clicking for me and I don’t know if I feel romantic attraction.

At the first date everything was fine—pretty short (a bit over an hour), nothing weird, decent vibe.

For the second date, he suggested going to a restaurant, which I appreciated because it showed initiative and interest. I hadn’t eaten beforehand because I thought we will eat at the restaurant. But when we sat down, the first thing he asked was if I wanted to eat. That’s when I realized he didn’t plan to eat. I asked him if he wanted something anyway, and he said he had a late lunch (around 2–3pm; the date was at 7), but that I could eat if I wanted.

That honestly made me a bit uncomfortable—it didn’t feel right to sit there eating alone, so I said I wasn’t that hungry either and suggested dessert instead. Then he made a few kind of subtle jokes implying dessert there was too expensive (it was a fancy restaurant, but it was his idea) and that we should go somewhere else for it. In the end, we just had drinks. What bothered me is that he didn’t communicate beforehand that he didn’t plan to eat—if I had known, I would’ve adjusted too. For context, I’m really not picky about where we go; I’ve told him I’m fine with anything, I just care about getting to know the person.

Conversation-wise, it was okay, but not great. We had eye contact, but sometimes while I was talking he’d get distracted by people passing by (especially women). Later I noticed he kind of scanned everyone, including men, so I figured it might just be a habit of his—but it still made him seem less present in moments. Later, he also made a few comments about how some teenagers were dressed, and it seemed a bit judgmental to me. I told him that, and he said fine, he wouldn’t say anything anymore and made a gesture like he was zipping his mouth shut. After a short while, I told him to go ahead and talk because he wasn’t saying anything anymore, and he said, ‘Oh, okay, now I’m allowed to talk,’ which felt a bit childish, even though he was probably trying to make a joke.

I was also expecting slightly deeper conversations. I tried to steer things that way (like asking about family, etc.), but we mostly stayed on surface-level topics like the city we both live in, weather, what book we read or movie we watched. At one point I asked for his full name (I only knew his first name), and he seemed a bit surprised/like it was a weird question?

He is funny, which helped me feel relaxed, but it also feels like he doesn’t take anything seriously. He also mentioned his ex multiple times in random contexts (like walking around the area “with his ex” or watching certain shows “with his ex”), which felt unnecessary. He said they broke up 6 months ago after a 2-year relationship and that he’s ready for something new.

After the date, we walked a bit and he kissed me twice—but I honestly felt nothing. I know it’s early (we’ve only known each other ~2 weeks), but still.

Since then, he told me he really likes me and is already planning a third date.

Now I’m conflicted. I don’t want to lead him on, but I also wonder if I’m overanalyzing or expecting too much too early. I’ve never been in a relationship before—not because I couldn’t (I went on dates), but because I didn’t want to settle just to fit a timeline and I didn’t find someone that was ready for something serious. I’m looking for a serious relationship, not something casual (I’ve been clear about that, and he said he’s looking for the same.)

I’m very independent and financially secure—I can afford anything I want. I think I tend to overanalyze because I’m so used to being independent, and I genuinely enjoy being on my own.

So I guess my question is: am I overthinking normal early-stage dating stuff, or is it fair to feel like something’s off and step back?