I am in such tolerance and kindled ftom many failed attempts to get off lorazepam and just wonder if diazepam is really better. Please can anybody say if it could help as lorazepam having opposite effect and way worse now but have to get off. Is it worth trying diazepam at age 70. Long term user of lorazepam
Im 28. I spent my whole early 20s sick. I took COVID extremely seriously because of this and lost so much time not doing anything. It was only within the past few years (maybe really the past few months) that I was feeling optimistic about life again. I was back in school, working for the first time in years, had friends, had a girlfriend, was doing a lot in general. It was so important in my mind to be as active as possible for the few remaining years of my youth. I hit a rough patch with some really bad anxiety because my mom is clearly getting dementia and was placed on Ativan for a month at my own request, biggest regret of my life right now. My idiot psychiatrist didn't think I needed to taper even though I begged him to. So I cold turkeyed. During this time I was actively suicidal basically every second of everyday because the withdrawal was so bad. I found out about reinstatement and decided to risk it. So far it's going pretty well, but I still feel off, maybe I just focus on it too much. Right now more than withdrawal I feel fear and mourning. I feel like I've entered a totally unknown path of my life. Im not working or in school right now. I worry about being able to do those things again. I worry about being able to date again. I worry about what it will be like when I start to taper. It feels like I just dont know what Im capable of anymore.
The most optimistic version in my head that I have is that this doesn't have to be life ruining or even a huge deal. That the reinstatement will abate most of my symptoms. That the taper will be manageable just like it is for most people going off benzos the normal and safe way (yes I know about kindling and why this might be harder for me since I CT'd already). I try to tell myself that worst, truly irrecoverable things happen. People get TBIs, people get cancer, people get autoimmune diseases that go on for years. But it's hard to feel optimistic, especially because this period of life seemed so important to me to go right, just three months ago I was full of optimism and hope for my life. Now it feels like Im back where I was years ago when I was sick, only this time it feels even scarier because of PAWS and BIND. I feel like everyday I question if I can do normal things, let alone all the things I wanted to do before all this, ie really living for the first time in years.
I don't really know why Im posting this, sometimes I wonder if it's better to just try to live, take my pills and not think about it too much. But it's always in the back of my mind every second of everyday and no one in my life gets it.
I have tried numerous times to get off lorazepam but never managed. It is no longer helping at all but hiw do I get off it as withdrawls are crippling me. Please anybody who managed to get off lorazepam please can you suggest how to.do it as i am nit ok on it.
Has anyone here gone through benzo withdrawal and can share what symptoms they had?
I’m trying to understand what’s happening to me because it feels extreme and constant.
My symptoms:
- severe hyperarousal (like my nervous system is stuck in overdrive 24/7)
- my brain never rests, it feels like it’s constantly “on fire”
- intense insomnia / almost no real sleep, or waking after a few hours
- strong internal agitation, like nonstop adrenaline surges
- heart pounding even when my pulse is not high
- extreme sensitivity to sound (hyperacusis) – everything feels overwhelming
- I feel so sensitive it’s like I want to crawl out of my own skin
- digestive issues (constipation, bloating, can’t tolerate many foods)
- no “rest & digest” feeling for months
- constant nightmares / nightmare-like state even when awake
This honestly feels like hell, like my brain cannot switch off or recover at all.
What scares me the most is that nothing seems to work:
- benzodiazepines don’t “hit” like they used to (tolerance?)
- trazodone doesn’t help
- Quviviq doesn’t help either
I don’t know if this is:
- withdrawal
- crash
- or both at the same time
I also have severe ME/CFS (already had it before benzos, but it’s worse now), and the lack of sleep is making everything much worse.
I genuinely feel like I’m going to lose my mind from this constant hyperarousal and insomnia.
If anyone has experienced something similar, please share what it felt like and what helped (if anything).
Hi. I'm 43 and I've been on Clonzapaem since I was 18. I used to be on 4mgs and now I'm on 2. I need to get off this shit. I also have PCOS and ADHD. The last time I tried to get off Clonzapaem, my doctor told me to "chip away at it." I thought I could do it in a summer (when I'm not teaching) but the zaps and inability to form sentences (serious brain fog and a bit of unexpected stuttering occurred).
I now want to taper off my 2mg because I doubt it even works and it's just terrible stuff. I have a new doctor who is currently helping me reduce my Prozac from 80 to 40mg. We haven't discussed the process for the benzo yet but she already told me l need to get off of it. I shared my first attempt with her. She knows.
I'm so scared about the quality of my life as I taper off. I don't care how many years it takes, but I want it out of my system.
Is this a reality for someone who's been taking it for 25 years?
I also take Adderall 30 XR.
Has anyone been to detox for benzos? What dose were you on? How long were you on it? What dose were you on when you went to Destin? How long was your stay? How long did it take to feel better after detox?
I’m going through my benzo withdrawal after each drop and I mostly only feel like crap around 12-2pm and 4-7pm. In the morning I’m almost always fine (probably because I take my dose around 1am) and after 6-7pm I’m fine enough to go to the gym and feel normal but during those times I mentioned the total opposite. I get anxiety and headaches and crying spells. Then I crash and fall asleep. This happen to anyone tapering? The funny thing is I had the same pattern coming off cymbalta and trazedone. If it were interdose withdrawal isn’t it supposed to last till I take the next dose?
I know it’s dose related because when I stabilize it doesn’t happen as much as when I lower the dose a bit. Any advice or suggestions or experience appreciated.
Just wanna vent a bit and tell my story!
I (29F) am now 15 months off (jumped at Jan 2025) and had been using xanax for circa 22 months from April 2023 till November 2024. First 2 months I binged between 6-8mg a day. I had one two month addiction episode in summer 2022 as well, which I managed to quit without PAWS.
You may or may not ask yourself: what is the reason for doing that to yourself again? Up until April I managed to incidentally take a benzo without a symptom, but when I signed off work due to a health issue (carpal tunnel), I pretty much went off the hinge and for some godforsaken reason, felt like abusing stimulants for a week. But when I realised I was also on a week of taking xanax (to come down and not freak tf out) I was too afraid to stop taking it, because I was very neurotic about seizures (my ex had a few due to benzo abuse). Not knowing that at a week in it's highly likely just rebound anxiety you are feeling.
I first tapered with my GP down to 1mg in weeks and then the day I took my last 1 mg, I got a tonic-clonic seizure on the plane (woopie). I was sober for like half a week on my holiday, I drank some alcohol on that holiday as well (not knowing that screws heavy with GABA as well). When I got home and I felt anxiety, not knowing about kindling and rebound anxiety, I took one of my leftover xanax, afraid I was gonna seize again (should have just sat it out tbh). Later at the GP they reinstated me at 1mg, which I managed just over half a year, but got "interdose withdrawals" I guess and started taking 3x 0.5mg over half a day. I would also sometimes replace it with up to 2.5mg bromazolam instead, especially if I lost a blister or took too much tbh, which also happened pretty regularly. I would take up to 0.5mg extra when I felt extra anxiety, because in my head that meant risk of seizing and tbh it's also super easy to have an off-button and just not deal with your emotions. That's also kinda low-key why I binged that much in the beginning, because I didn't want to be emotionally present during the shitty relationship I was in, the consequent break-up, my own shitty ass life that was going nowhere and mental health waiting lists to top it all off.
So anyway, I tried to take responsibility for my own misery, but my GP rightfully, didn't feel like tapering me anymore and at that point it was just waiting until I got into detox. In the end my dose was 1.25mg of bronazolam (but with RC benzos do you even really know?) and 0.5mg of xanax a day or so? They tapered me in two months there, they immediately put me on 8mg valium, which felt like hell and in two months I dropped in 1mg increments to zero. Well the taper felt decent, but the moment, around 4 days later when the last leftover valium left my system (?) hell broke loose. I was in the middle of my CGT-based, addiction therapy group and I suddenly felt more overstimulation than I did in years. Many more times, I had to step outside for the same reasons.
In daily life, I was overtired, I had strong anxiety, everything just felt like too much, I had slight depression, moderate anhedonia, low motivation, except some to continue therapy and stay sober. But daily life was hard to live, especially the first three months. Someone chatted with me (somewhat one-sided) and the rest of the day I was overstimulated AF and just beside myself! I had to get home feeling the worst overstimulation ever, it was like my battery had short-circuited. The first time I finished a HIIT class I ended up having chest pain that felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest for the entire evening, but doctors, as they do, perhaps correctly, chalked it all up to "just anxiety" and said that I was literally right out of the acute phase, so it could not have been related to the taper at all (which they said was really slow). Also honorary shoutout to around the 3 month mark where I felt pressured to consume 7 units of alcohol at my friend's housewarming and the Monday after exactly the same happened again after a gym session, but atleast this time I knew I just *felt* like I was dying so no doc called and just sat that one out.
Anyway, 15 months later, no relapses (except two accidental alcoholic beer consumptions) after circa 11 months life feels, atleast livable again. I am in a pretty stable mood most of the time, still a bit more easily anxious than I was even before benzos, but manageable. I also have sufficient energy and motivation to live daily life and to keep up with my life, although I still don't have that same hyperfocus I used to have. Caffeine, lack of sleep, overstimulation and even small amounts of alcohol (but somehow only 2-3 days later?) can still be big triggers. I still feel more sensitive than I ever was, but it's all somewhat avoidable. It just sucks that that I still get triggered more easily into very overstimulated, overtired states than I even remember before I abused benzos. But atleast they are getting rare. Through all this I can count on one hand the nights of sleep I lost though! I am very, very lucky with that one! Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to mean a speedy recovery!
Through all of this I gained so many regulation skills, emotional insights and resillence that I would have not gained supressing my emotions. I managed to get sober, am at the 9 month mark of MBT-therapy, working again and disovered how much of a rock my current partner is (so blessed I met him). Maybe, it was the price I needed to pay.
Only thing that remains annoying that no medical professional, here in NL atleast, seems to know/recognize or anything about PAWS, long term effects of benzos or kindling and it's all just anxiety to them. But chicken and the egg I guess, I already had the anxiety to the point I felt like taking them. So what's new?
Anyway keep soldiering on warriors ❤️ Hope even one person finds this long ass rant even a bit relatable and helpful!
Hi, my 77 y/o mom spent 5 weeks in a psych ward recently, and they diagnosed her with severe depression and psychosis, and put her on Clozeril and Mirtazapine. After they released her with the need for 24/7 care, I finally discovered BWS which fits her situation exactly. She had been on Ativan for years for sleep problems and anxiety, but nobody she went to knew about slow tapering, and now she seems to have extreme PAWS. Most of what I've read is regarding how to slow taper off of benzos but it's already too late for that. Could anyone link me info for what to do at this point? She is crippled with anxiety and is definitely psychotic. I have also had a hard time finding a psychiatrist who's interested in helping her; they're sending us to the county mental health in this very rural area. She refused the intake there, and right now all we've got is her primary doctor refilling the prescriptions they gave her at the psych ward.
Have prescribed xanax as needed for anxiety and insomnia. About a year about I would use .5-1mg about 1-2x per week average. Sometimes more sometimes less. I do try to make sure to take a full 1-2 weeks break regularly. Over the year it crept up to 1-1.5mg per use on average. Still 1-2x week.
Lately been having increased trouble sleeping, more anxiety, lower appetite than usual (already struggle with this due to health issues). However also been going through a breakup, but this anxiety feels different and not rooted in my feelings so much. but about 2-4 ago, between the break up and some family issues, i ended up using more frequently than typical.
So, I took about 10 off days between doses as I felt I need a break. I only slept 4-6 hours per night. Right around the 1 week mark without xanax, sleep started to mildly improve (was able to fall asleep about a few hours earlier), plus I was in the good part of my menstrual cycle, sleep wise. But I was still only getting 6 hours a night and was so exhausted on day 10 that I took 1.5mg.
A dose of xanax seemed to improve my sleep the night after i take it as well, and then on the 2nd or 3rd day I have insomnia again. Which is what happened tonight.
I used to be able to also manage persistent anxiety/insomnia with low doses of ketamine occasionally, but now it causes rebound anxiety and sometimes nerve pain the last 2 attempts so I am 100% ceasing. thinking some kind of glutamate issue there too?
I didn't think this would be quite enough use to have notable issues but I do have a very sensitive system.
If I continue to feel increased anxiety and insomnia 2-3 days after dosing, should I be planning a taper where I use .5mg xanax 2x a week for the next month to reduce excitability?
obviously i do understand my emotions of late may have just left some last impact on my nervous system that is continuing even as my feelings regulate. but wondering how much to account for rebound/withdrawals
So I’ve been battling this stupid addiction for a few months now. Started as a brief break from anxiety, but my access to them was a problem after the first dose.
I’ve been in recovery for over 5 years. Basically just weed…but also been on subs for a few years during this time. I actually have not too much against subs as they really helped my mental health, but more importantly my ability to function as a professional. I do wanna get off them at some point, but it wasn’t on my list of things to do anytime soon.
So I been using .5mg clonazipam daily for probably 6 weeks, and progressive use from 1x a week to daily the 6 weeks prior. My anxiety kept me trapped with impulsive dosing. Again, the access is what got me. Fiancé had them for years, and only now did I find myself stuck in it. I’m reminded I’m a true addict…
Anyways, been trying to taper and decrease, but stuck at .25-.5 fluctuating. Gonna take a leave of absence from work as a 1099 contractor so no fmla or assistance…but I have no choice. It’s Jew using benzos and get in a worse spot, or take a two week hit. Easy decision when I really think about it…never done anything like this so feel guilty, but it is what it is..
So im off Benzo 1 year and 2 months after 4 years on them.. I didnt get the taper i was thrown into cold turkey... the heavy withdrawal passed but I still have that itch . The one where your brain searches for something to relax you . Why I don't take strong pain killers with codeine as I no my self where it will lead to .. it does get better but the itch seems to dragging on and on even with therapy..