r/AnxietyDepression

I'm trying i really am, just really tired. Every time I apply myself work relationships, friendship, and family, it's always a struggle...

My mom was hospitalized at one point, thankfully out and being observed. My cousin Louis passed away. I poured out my feelings in a letter to a woman i was in love with, and she's moved on.. thinking I didn't want to be with her. And lastly, an older friend of mine just passed away today. (Currently going to see his widow at the hospital).

Im simply heartbroken and exhausted. I don't know what else to do with myself, constantly struggling with work, amongst other things.. and im struggle to find reasons to keep at it. I can't sleep, barely eating, and constantly pacing up and down the house. For the first time, I've toyed with the idea of not being around anymore.

I've thought about going to some kinda housing or something, and I've even deactivated my social media, which I've never done before.

I know things will change one day... but sometimes my life feels unreal. Eternally pushing a bolder up a hill. Seriously considering checking in somewhere.

Death Anxiety :

Does anyone else here suffer from severe anxiety thinking about death ??

Some nights in bed, I could be relaxing and just about to fall asleep, and the next thing - death just suddenly pops into my mind.

And then I go into full panic mode as then I starting thinking about

my own death.

Knowing that one day that I will have to die and leave this earth. I don't know I think it's just a huge fear of the "unknown" after it.

I just fear that what if it's all just black after we die, It's just black and nothing else forever. It's just that thought and it's absolutely terrifying the hell outta me

Does anyone else here have this sudden thought at night ?? Or how can I overcome this fear ??

Thank you

Can anyone relate, or give me some ideas to feel better.

I do have anxiety, but no real reason for me to be feeling particularly anxious today ?

I've been concerned for some problems my daughter ( in her forties) is facing, long story, too complicated.

I just wish I could 'fix things' for her .

I’ve been fine, and now suddenly I find myself in a pit of despair

No trigger but my own thoughts- just a well of sadness deep inside me

Rationally I know this is silly and pointless, but I want to reach into my chest and pull out this hollowness that has settled in just behind my heart

What do others do when this happens to them? Does it happen to them!?

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Hello,

There is a lot on my plate right now and I feel so overwhelmed by it.

It is a whole storm of things, issues from family, work(lack of it), school, legal matters(residence permit) finances, health, shitty roommates, and mental health. It has been bad news pretty much one after since March and I can feel how I am reaching a breaking point.

Previously during times like this, I have shut down and gone into a freeze state to stomach fawning over whatever seemed to have control over me in hopes of getting rewarded for "good behavior," like begging to be spared from some impending doom. I feel really ashamed of it, especially because I was rewarded for these behaviors in some ways and let others get hurt in the process.

Now, I really want to move on from these behaviors, it is a struggle, but being present, active, and reliable is so important to me and I feel like I could backslide from all the stress I'm experiencing.

It feels so silly how easy it is to backslide into old habits. Today, I was standing and peeling potatoes to boil. I was getting myself through it despite being in physical pain by making myself angry. Like a sith using anger as fuel or something like this. I don't want to be like Darth Vader 😅

When I realized what I was doing I calmed down pretty fast. I think it is a good example of just how overwhelmed I feel right now.

Maybe there is some advice or tips to be given here? Dealing with overwhelm and self-regulation is a big struggle of mine so I'm pretty in the dark here.

Thanks for your time. :)

Hello one and all. Thank you mediators for allowing me this time to join and be part of the group. I myself have suffered with anxiety and depression for over 20 years and i know that support is necessary.

let me explain the second reason why i joined. I am a male 55 and I would like to reach out to as many other males between 18 and 99 who have mild to severe mental struggles.

As the header says, i am performing my own research regarding the

1. Male and support that they feel they get or don’t receive.

2. was it easy for you to find support

3. Did you or do you hide behind a mask of happiness, knowing that if others noticed you in this mental state, they would look at you differently.

4. do you feel that it is easier to find support for girls and women than it is for men?

feel free to answer here and DM me if you feel like chatting.

I thank everyone in advance for your willingness to provide me some important feedback.

Why is it at night I get this anxiety and there no one I can talk to about it why why

I don't know where to turn right now. could use encouragement i suppose.

I am 29f

ive had an anxiety disorder diagnosed since 13.

I grew up in a semi abusive household. but I know my parents love me. and are healing as people too.

I was put on klonopin at 13. took it till I was 20. at 20 I was admitted to rehab

I was being prescribed adderall, aderall xr, klonopin, ambien, and a couple ssris at that time. they took me off all addictive medications in rehab. I 2as abusing my scripts and buying off the street as well. it was the only thing that made me feel normal at first then got way out of control as the years went by unchecked

I hold resentment towards my parents for trusting me to control my own medications at such a young age. and shoving klonopin down my throat every time I got too emotional and annoying to deal with. and for causing the anxiety in the first place

im off of all medications now. no prescriptions but I do smoke weed. which i have quit before for many years without any change so I just picked it back up for relief

ive been on so many countless anti depressants

and so many countless hours of therapy. never felt any better. was not for lack of effort.

I lost 100lbs and am at a healthy weight. I have a job that keeps me on my feet all day. ive done Journaling and meditation and prayer

nothing sticks. I am so dysfunctional

my pannic sets in at work sometimes and I cant hide it.

ill have a panic attack. my boss just caught me crying. she acted so cold and dissacoiated. like she did not understand what was wrong with me. look at me like im an alien

its so embarrassing and I try to connect with people. tell them how I feel and they dont understand how anxiety can happen like this without any triggers.

I am left feeling like a crazy person that cant control myself.

people dont have any good advice. and that would be fine if I at least had some understanding

but if I start to lose my grip sometimes I can not get it together. I try to suppress. the tears bubble up and theres not much I can do to suppress it.

im an assiatant store manager. its so embarrassing to lose it in front of customers.

sometimes its so bad I get intrusive thoughts about hurting or killing myself.

like everyone only wants me when im normal. and I cant be normal. and I cant keep abusing drugs to make me normal so what am I doing on this planet (been sober 7 years now btw)

the physical sensation of anxiety paired with the mental ruminating and I seriously feel like I want to check myself into a psych ward sometimes. my poor fiance is supportive but doesn't understand how to help

I dont trust doctors much after my history with nothing ever working. and being prescribed so many addictive drugs at such a young age

I dont know what to do. my fiance semi talked me into going back to psychiatry

but I done did all that and it wasted 10 years of my life with no results ive tried like 25 different types of antidepressants and antiphycotics maxed all the doses nothing works.

I dont want to get back on the outpatient hamster wheel

it sometimes feels like the only option left is death kr moving to the wilderness away from all the people . how do I function in this world

im anxious about the possible attack ill have today at work because I feel that same twisted energy building inside me

1. I have to > I get to
2. I should do that > I will do that
3. I will work hard (and then I will) eat that pizza if I want

Those were 3 mind “hacks” I want you to use especially the first 2.

Once you change your self talk, you will become much happier, thus your whole life improves.

Hope this helps :)

I can't watch it alone in my depression anymore. I made a serious mistake with my computer and there's no going back. I deserve the worst. To be in a dark room and come out because life has stopped for me. Is there any way back?

Am I an idiot?

I'm so embarrassed... 5 years ago I bought a Ryzen 5 3400g with 1x8GB RAM. I couldn't upgrade because I depend on my parents and there's never money, plus they're also paying for my college. I'm ashamed because I've been running this config for five years, paid 350 euros for it. There was a shortage back then, I was 17-18, there was barely anything available in my town, I thought it would be perfect... and I screwed myself. On top of that I have a weak PSU and an A320 motherboard. The one silver lining is that before this I had a crappy little laptop with an Intel Atom processor where literally GTA San Andreas was stuttering. My parents were skeptical about used parts back then, otherwise for 100 euros less we could've grabbed some Intel build with a GTX 970 or 960. I'm genuinely so ashamed of this because it's a garbage setup. Feel free to roast me and tell me what an idiot I am.

Maybe I should've waited until 2023-2024 when prices stabilized, but I'm a moron so now they're going up again. I'm just a complete idiot and I feel bad that my parents wasted money on this. Seriously feel free to insult me, I know I deserve to be exiled from society for this. I even fell into depression over it... SCREW YOU AI

My body feels like lead, but my mind is running a marathon. I want to sleep to escape the worry, but the worry keeps me awake. I want to do things to feel better, but the exhaustion pins me down. It's like my anxiety and depression are fighting over who gets to ruin my day. How do you figure out which symptom to treat first when they feed off each other? I'd love to hear from others who feel stuck in this specific loop.

I have so much anxiety right now not know what to do I hate it help