r/Aging

I’ll be 43 in June. I’ve never had a partner, never held down a real job or been able to live independently. I cannot drive a car. I have zero accomplishments to my name and my bank balance is literally 0.00 right now. I gave up on finding a partner during covid. I thought it would help me adjust, that it would help the loneliness hurt less once I accepted and learned to live with it. It hurts just as much, maybe more. That empty space where another person should be is like a phantom limb. I always wanted children when I was young, now that I’m too old I realize it was always a bad idea. I would have made a horrible father. It feels like the universe protected the children I might have had by keeping me isolated. I have two friends, one entirely online, one I met back in college. The one person not related by blood I’ve managed to keep in touch with. There was a third, online only but we were very close. She went radio silent back in August and she used to refer to suicide as an “exit strategy.” I still send her number messages once in a while. Mostly to tell her I miss her. I’m pushing myself to keep going because I don’t want to inflict trauma on my family, but I’ve mostly given up on pursuing anything that makes me feel joy or fulfillment. My efforts have all failed and most avenues are closed.

Don’t let yourself become like me. Connect with people while you can. Make friends worth keeping and for the love of god keep them.

I’m 77 yo, soon to be 78. Yesterday I went to sit down on a wheeled office chair. It was on a hard linoleum floor. It scooted out from under me and I fell hard onto my left sit bone. I did not break anything! I got up, shook it off and sat down more carefully. It’s sore today but I feel happy because it makes me think my bones are strong. It’s funny what you appreciate when you get old.

My 82 year old dad took a bad fall in the kitchen yesterday evening. I live close by but wasn't there, and he managed to call me after about 20 minutes lying on the floor. No broken bones, thankfully, but it really shook both of us.

What's bothering me isn't just the fall itself, but how hard it seems to balance safety with independence as people get older. He’s sharp, lives on his own, and is very resistant to anything bulky, intrusive, or that makes him feel "monitored." I started looking into fall detection watches and medical alert devices, and the experiences seem mixed.. some people say they help, others mention false alarms, battery issues, or devices that just end up sitting in a drawer. That made me wonder whether the problem is the technology, or how it fits into everyday life as we age. For those here who are older themselves, or who’ve dealt with falls personally, how do you approach fall safety in a way that preserves dignity and independence?

I'm less interested in specific brands and more in what has realistically worked (or not worked) for people day to day.

lately i’ve been thinking about how different people experience aging some people just seem to have more energy and clarity even as they get older, and i started paying attention to small things instead of trying to fix aging

for me, a few simple changes made more difference than i expected getting some sunlight early, sleeping at the same time most nights, going out for a short walk, and just sticking to a really basic routine (even something as simple as using a moisturiser + sunscreen consistently)

nothing extreme, but i noticed i felt more clear-headed and less drained overall i’ve been slowly keeping track of what’s actually working for me (added a few things in my what worked for me list in my bio if anyone’s curious)

what’s worked for you? what’s one small thing that made you feel more energetic or just better day to day?

Like, there's a moment where it shifts. You go from 'I can do this' to 'I'm trapped.' And I'm trying to figure out when that happens for most people — is it months in? Years? Or is it the first week when reality hits?

Not looking for positivity. Just real answers.

Is anyone else just... done? Like you love your parent but the constant responsibility is eating you alive. The guilt when you get angry at them. The resentment when nobody else helps. The feeling like your life isn't yours anymore.

The last video game I enjoyed was PacMan in an arcade in 1984.

Lately I’ve been told there are tons of games I’d really enjoy, which sounded great so I asked ChatGPT to help me choose.

I don’t care for shooting things or playing superheroes or finding treasure or exploring an island or building a house very slowly. I already play real sports so don’t get why I’d want to pretend to do so on screen.

I want something engaging, interactive and highly creative. ChatGPT decided I would enjoy looking at art and architecture, which is fine, but that’s not gaming.

For the 70+ gamers out there, what are fun, skillful, creative, enjoyable games I should try?

i'm 28 and male and honestly my libido just dipped so much in the last two years. And idk if that's normal or if I should be worried. like, sure I still have the ocassional day when I'm just horny af and often I wake up a little horny in the morning as well. but most of the time I'm just not horny ? like, at all. And when I am one round of sex/masturbation is usually enough. I used to be horny literally 24/7. Now it's not like that anymore. at all. like, overally I'm maybe 20-30% as horny as I used to be. is that normal ? I feel like less of a man because of it. and kinda confused wtf am I even gonna do if it's not built around just trying to get laid.

When I was young we would jump in the sack or anywhere else without regard for cleanliness. But as I got older whoever I was dating would want to be fresh out of the shower and would be ultra sensitive about cleaning up after the act. Kind of takes the spontaneity out of the session.

If you're taking care of an aging parent, there's a moment where everything hits at once. The stress. The responsibility. The resentment. And you just... break.

I have spent my whole twenties in my parents house mostly. I have suffered from deep seated anxiety since high school _ got so bad I had to take online. Didn’t get to have core memories most my peers have. Spent all my high school years sobbing in my

room trying to console myself by telling myself it’ll go away and that I’m sure by the time im 30 I’ll have a boyfriend or friends. It never really happened. I started drinking and met a guy who seemed nice enough and dated him for a few years but I still felt lonely.

Wasn’t until two years ago I met a man who made

my heart beat out of my chest. I was hooking up with him and once he moved away he switched up on me and over text told me he doesn’t like me at all basically and didn’t even like sleeping with me.

I haven’t stopped crying myself to sleep since

Then. It just hurts so bad why do I have to suffer like this.

I’m 30 and I miss him. Maybe if I were mentally healthy he would have really liked me. I’m always in pain it’s always in the back of my mind. I am always a distracting myself from the pain. I can’t talk to people. I can’t make friends I missed the boat. I’m just doomed to be crying over what could have been. I’m a nice person and deeply romantic. I know I could have made someone really happy. My whole life I’ve been dreaming of being married and finding a husband. I just want to give somebody love and it’s so painful that I can’t. I used to be kind of pretty and now my looks are fading. Men aren’t as nice to me anymore. It’s only getting worse from here. My only source of love in life is my parents and they’ll

die soon probably could it be worse?

My grandma is 88 years old and is in clear stages of severe alzheimers. She doesn't talk, move, she only groans, and blinks. At this stage even her eating is struggled. What tends to be the prognosis of people with this condition? Will she die soon? I'm worried about my dad (her son). If she has alzheimers, will he have the potential of getting it in the future? If she dies, how can I help him cope because he's already endured lots of loss in his life before (his dad and brother)? He is quite healthy at 55 but you never know. Is there some testing that can be done for this? Is there any preventative care for alzheimers? His aunt who is 99 doesn't have it but for some reason her younger sister (my grandma) does.

Hi

Ever since turning 24 I have suddenly started feeling…I do not know old and childish at the same time. I started my corporate job and got into a relationship. However, I have also started to feel the desire to start a family. I started viewing women with husbands and children with envy. My current boyfriend (27M) expressed an interest in starting a family „one day” but right now nothing scares him more than me potentially falling pregnant. At some point his fear actually irritates and insults me a bit. He believes he is not far enough in his career to consider starting a family. However, he also gets very existential and believes he is behind in life. I do not feel behind in life in terms of finances and job, but I do feel behind in terms of family planning. I am also not reckless enough to baby trap him and risk it all in the name of my baby fever.

Also to give context, my boyfriend is British and we live in the UK where people generally start family later. However, I am from a more conservative background and family are raising their eyebrows at my relationship that doesn’t seem to be going into any direction- as in marriage (but we have been together about 2 years and marriage is not as rushed in the UK as in other countries / cultures).

I do sometimes wonder whether my desire to start a family comes from genuine desire or just boredom. My corporate job is repetitive and boring, my annual leave is limited and the city I live in is rather dull (we live outside of London). Perhaps I should experience life outside of my dull city and 9-5 but I am a bit scared of taking the risk and losing my savings on, let’s say, travelling or moving abroad.

I have spent my whole twenties in my parents house mostly. I have suffered from deep seated anxiety since high school _ got so bad I had to take online. Didn’t get to have core memories most my peers have. Spent all my high school years sobbing in my

room trying to console myself by telling myself it’ll go away and that I’m sure by the time im 30 I’ll have a boyfriend or friends. It never really happened. I started drinking and met a guy who seemed nice enough and dated him for a few years but I still felt lonely.

Wasn’t until two years ago I met a man who made

my heart beat out of my chest. I was hooking up with him and once he moved away he switched up on me and over text told me he doesn’t like me at all basically and didn’t even like sleeping with me.

I haven’t stopped crying myself to sleep since

Then. It just hurts so bad why do I have to suffer like this.

I’m 30 and I miss him. Maybe if I were mentally healthy he would have really liked me. I’m always in pain it’s always in the back of my mind. I am always a distracting myself from the pain. I can’t talk to people. I can’t make friends I missed the boat. I’m just doomed to be crying over what could have been. I’m a nice person and deeply romantic. I know I could have made someone really happy. My whole life I’ve been dreaming of being married and finding a husband. I just want to give somebody love and it’s so painful that I can’t. I used to be kind of pretty and now my looks are fading. Men aren’t as nice to me anymore. It’s only getting worse from here. My only source of love in life is my parents and they’ll

die soon probably could it be worse?

My tumor has shut down my GH axis and my GH levels are 0.05 barely detectable amd I need a good source for hGH 191aa. Anyone have source?

How you plan your daily routine post retirement and turning 60?

health, social life, food, travel!!!