Getting old as a lonely girl
I have spent my whole twenties in my parents house mostly. I have suffered from deep seated anxiety since high school _ got so bad I had to take online. Didn’t get to have core memories most my peers have. Spent all my high school years sobbing in my
room trying to console myself by telling myself it’ll go away and that I’m sure by the time im 30 I’ll have a boyfriend or friends. It never really happened. I started drinking and met a guy who seemed nice enough and dated him for a few years but I still felt lonely.
Wasn’t until two years ago I met a man who made
my heart beat out of my chest. I was hooking up with him and once he moved away he switched up on me and over text told me he doesn’t like me at all basically and didn’t even like sleeping with me.
I haven’t stopped crying myself to sleep since
Then. It just hurts so bad why do I have to suffer like this.
I’m 30 and I miss him. Maybe if I were mentally healthy he would have really liked me. I’m always in pain it’s always in the back of my mind. I am always a distracting myself from the pain. I can’t talk to people. I can’t make friends I missed the boat. I’m just doomed to be crying over what could have been. I’m a nice person and deeply romantic. I know I could have made someone really happy. My whole life I’ve been dreaming of being married and finding a husband. I just want to give somebody love and it’s so painful that I can’t. I used to be kind of pretty and now my looks are fading. Men aren’t as nice to me anymore. It’s only getting worse from here. My only source of love in life is my parents and they’ll
die soon probably could it be worse?