I wrote this after a very long and painful IVF journey. I needed a way to process everything I’ve been feeling. Sharing it here in the hope that it might help me let some of it out.

Dear baby,

I would have loved to have you, but it was a matter of technicality, a biological limitation.

I imagined holding you in my arms, caring for you, and loving you day after day.
I imagined us going to the park together, you in the stroller, me pushing you under the warm morning sun.
I imagined teaching you everything I know, and when I no longer could, I would start learning from you instead.

I imagined all sorts of things… a new life with you… a new definition of myself… a new world for both of us…

It was just a technicality that none of this happened. It was just, as they said, a matter of timing. That I should have wanted all of this earlier. Now it was too late. Even though there was nothing truly technical about it. It was purely emotional.

How could it be so irreversible, I thought. How could it be this definitive. I did not want to accept it. I still cannot. Maybe one day, if I try again… I know that this time it will be different…

None of it worked out. This is the hard, cold truth that I have to accept, even though it feels impossible to do so.

I would have loved to hold your small hand and walk with you while you asked me questions, and I tried my best to answer them without feeling anxious.
I would have loved to try to tame my anxiety, facing all kinds of uncertainties while raising you.

I guess I do not have to do any of these anymore. It is a life without those uncertainties, a life free of ups and downs, joys and fears.

It is just a life now, with only myself when I go for a walk, and the morning sun is not enough to keep my heart warm.

It will be a quiet life without you.
But I will try my best to live it to the fullest.
I promise you.

Please some advice! ❤️I am 43 years old and trying for one more child. I previously had two spontaneous pregnancies that happened very quickly, both first och second month with my ex. Those pregnancies were at 36.5 and 38.5 years old (after I froze eggs). Never had a miscarriage. My first child has a de novo (spontaneous) chromosomal mutation (not age-related) and I want a “normal” sibling for my son, my second child. I have a normal karyotype. Using proven donorsperm.

At age 36, I froze eggs from 3 retrievals (17 eggs total). They were thawed in Oct 2025, and all degenerated, which was devastating.😭

After that, I started this awful ivf-ride with so much pain and struggle. You are all so very strong and reading your stories is very helpful.❤️

Cycle 1 februari 2026 (age 43): Antagonist protocol (short) Leading follicle and asynchronous… • 3 eggs retrieved • 2 mature • ICSI used • 1 abnormal fertilization • 1 degenerated after injection

Because of both this terrivble cycle and the thaw experience, there is now a hypothesis that my eggs may be sensitive to ICSI handling / cumulus cell removal… hence we let the support cells stay for the second try now i april.

Cycle 1,4 mars -suppose to be duostim/back to back. Cancelled. Super-asynchrony

Cycle 2 april 2026 (age 43):

Very synchronized cohort after 3 weeks of GnRH-downregulation, agonist protocol. 🙏😭🌟🌟🌟Big improvement: • 8 follicles • 7 eggs retrieved • 6 mature • Conventional IVF used (no ICSI) (this is it for me!! • 4 fertilized normally • 4 made it to day 3 • 3 reached blastocyst stage on day 6

Unfortunately, all 3 had to little cells for freezing/biopsy/transfer on day 6.😭what the F! The embryologt said they do not go to day 7 at their lab…almost no fragmentation.

I’m heartbroken because this felt so close. A marathon and I fell right in the end…

Please help!

Has anyone age 43 had almost-there embryos and then gone on to have success in a later cycle with their own eggs? Give me some hope.

Lots of luck for all of you! ✨✨✨✨

Ps, in Europe/Scandi so no addons possible going to a neighboring country for ERs where PGT is allowed

About 4 months ago, after 4 IVF cycles only yielded 1 euploid, my 38yo sister offered to be an egg donor. I loved the idea if we need to go that route. We are trying to do one more cycle, but my AFC dropped from 12 to 4 (in 3 months!) with my AMH dropping from 0.9 (March 2025) to 0.37 (March 2026) so my RE thinks the AFC drop is real (its been like this 3 months in a row). I realize donor eggs are becoming more likely. I'm so grateful my sister is willing to try to be an egg donor. Anyone with similar experience that can recommend any topics I should specifically discuss? She lives in a different state she she has heard me go through much of this but hasn't physically been here. I recognize this is a huge gift and I want to make sure she is mentally and emotionally prepared. Specifically, any moral or ethical topics we should be discussing?

I tried heparin injections and they are not painful for me. I am wondering if I am taking it correctly. I do pinch the skin before injecting and I inject it in my outer thigh.

Hi guys,

I could really do with your help here.

A bit of background:

15 eggs retrieved

10 mature

5 abnormally fertilised

5 normally fertilised

Day 3 - 20% fragmentation on 2 of them, 3 progressing

Day 5 update- 2 stopped progressing on day 4, 3 are not where they should be at this stage (they’ll give them another 24hours to “catch up” but don’t hold out much hope).

So now we’re left with only 1 day 5 blastocyst!

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but the attrition has been horrendous and I was hoping for at least 3 to send for genetic testing. The good news is, the embryo is of “excellent quality” according to the lab and has been graded a 6AA. In her professional opinion, because of this, she has advised against testing in hopes that natural selection has simply done its job and left us with the best out of a bad bunch.

Prior to starting this journey, I was of the firm belief that genetic testing was the only way to go for me, no matter what. After a miscarriage a few months ago I hoped that testing could mitigate that. Her advice this afternoon in addition to our disappointing outcome has made me question whether we should send our one and only embryo off for testing, or hope for the best and move forward with a FET.

I’d really appreciate any thoughts or previous experiences. What would you do in this situation and why? I’m so sad and confused I’m not sure what to do at all.

We are having a series of family crises that has put a ton of stress on all of us. My oldest brother has taken this opportunity to reveal just how wasteful and selfish he thinks my IVF journey is. He's also made comments about my previous marriage and my weight, but mocking me for being 42 and trying to have a baby has been getting to me the most.

These personal attacks are a very small part of why this brother is toxic and awful but I really needed to vent about this.

The icing on the cake is that I delayed my egg retrieval this month because of the incredibly high stress I am under as a direct result of his actions.

Literally DREAMING about the day in the not too distant future when I can cut off all contact with him.

Almost 40, DOR, trying to decide back-to-back vs break, looking for input

I’m turning 40 next month and trying to bank embryos.

History:

• AMH ~0.7
• AFC ~9
• Possible adenomyosis, small fibroids
• Heterozygous prothrombin mutation

IVF cycles so far:

Cycle 1 (August 2025):

• 6 eggs retrieved
• 5 mature
• 3 blasts
• 0 euploid

Cycle 2 (March 2026):

• 6 eggs retrieved
• 1 required IVM
• 2 blasts
• PGT-A pending

Cycle 3 (current April 2026 cycle):

• Started stim April 11 (currently stim day ~12)
• Did estrogen + Cetrotide priming before stim
• Started Cetrotide early during stim
• Had an ~11 mm follicle at baseline before starting stims
• Early E2: 46 → 199 → 368
• Today’s labs:
  • Estradiol: 444.10
  • LH: <1.00
  • Progesterone: 0.504
• Today’s follicle sizes:
  • 17 mm, 17 mm, 16 mm
  • 12.5 mm
  • 7 mm, 7 mm
• Doctor estimating ~3 to 4 eggs

Observations:

• I consistently make blasts (1 to 3 per cycle)
• Euploid rate unknown so far (0 out of 3, waiting on March)

Current dilemma:
Trying to decide whether to:

1. Do another back-to-back retrieval immediately
2. Or wait a cycle for a cleaner baseline and possibly adjust protocol

Questions:

• Has anyone had better response after skipping a cycle vs going back-to-back?
• For those around 39 to 41 with similar numbers, did protocol tweaks help more than just doing more cycles?
• Would you prioritize speed (back-to-back) or optimization (waiting/reset)?

Would really appreciate any similar experiences or advice 🙏

TW: high AMH & AFC

First time posting so bear with me.

Me: 41, turning 42 in May. Husband 36. MFI, DFI 22%. AMH 6, usual AFC 20. No PCOS. TTC journey since 38.

I'm on my 2nd back-to-back cycle this year (which I basically had to beg for) and my baseline AFC came in at HALF what it usually is, and I'm pretty sure I know why.

I believe I was overly suppressed from a lack of communication in my protocol.

They put me on BCP 1 day after my last ER (3/14) because my next cycle was supposed to start in 2 weeks. Then they delayed me by another 2 weeks for scheduling, but nobody told me to stop the BC. So I was on it for 31 days instead of my usual 10. Triple the suppression I'd had in my other cycles.

STATS

ER #1 (Oct 2025) — 10 days BCP

21 AFC → 24 retrieved → 23 mature → 15 fertilized (ICSI) → 3 blasts → 1 euploid, 1 LLM

FET Jan 2026 — chemical

ER #2 (March 2026) — 10 days BCP, added Omnitrope

19 AFC → 31 retrieved → 22 mature → 17 fertilized (ICSI) → 8 blasts → 3 euploid

ER #3 (current, April 2026) — 31 days BCP

11 AFC baseline. Now at Day 12 of stims. 14 on the left, 18 on the right, but lead is only 14.5mm and cohort is 11-13mm. They want me on at least 3 more days.

This is what I think happened.

I'm normally a high responder. This cycle they bumped my stim doses UP and my baseline follicles are still growing like molasses. The weird part: on days 10 and 12 there was a huge new wave of follicles that showed up and are responding great. My E2 went from 1453 to 2562 in 2 days.

My read: the original cohort got hammered by the extended BCP and can't recover. The late recruits weren't in the selectable pool during suppression, so they're responding like normal. Which is cool, but I'm also now looking at 15+ days of stims, and everything I've read says that correlates with worse maturity rates, fert rates, and LBR.

Please tell me if I’m just being psycho.

I'm furious. This feels completely preventable. At my age, with my husband’s DFI, my numbers have been the thing keeping us in the game. My high response was the edge. And now I'm sitting here on day 12 with a lead that's barely 14.5, feeling like shit, looking at another 3-5 days of this, and I can't stop thinking about the fact that if somebody had just told me to stop the pill, I wouldn't be here.

I'm exhausted. I'm nauseous. I'm pissed.

Has anyone else been through extended BCP suppression followed by a long stim? I’m on 350 Follistem, 150 Menapur, .1mg Omnitrope every other night. And now Centrotide to prevent ovulation. How did your cycle actually turn out? With my risk of OHSS and high estrogen, having my eggs stew at that level of estrogen never helps with egg quality. I want to hear the real numbers, good and bad.

I was on my 5th day of IVF cycle yesterday. I was feeling really low and having really bad cramps. When my husband came back from office I told him. I had also called him when he was at work to tell him that I was having cramps. About after he came back from office he asked me how was I doing and then went to have dinner with my in laws. We live with his parents and sister. He was having dinner and chatting with them for like an hour after which when he came back to the room I told him that I needed him and he could have rushed his dinner today and sat with me to comfort me. As I only have him. None of his family members care for me. None of them have asked me how am I doing or taken care of me. I mostly make my own food or order online. When I complained that he should have rushed today and sat with me he got defensive and we didn’t speak and went to sleep.

Today we had to go for a scan. When I asked him if wants to accompany me or not he said that I could go by myself. And after 5 mins he texted that he will tag along. In the car I tried talking to him and told him that I had asked for only 10days of him caring for me and keeping his ego aside. The argument turned a little heated and he asked me to shut up. Said that I was very difficult and that I am always on a roll about something or the other.

I take care of all our medications and all the appointments. He is paying for the ivf.

I feel really lonely. If for 10 days he can’t take care of me( check my medications, check what am I eating or not) how will he ever take care of me?

I feel so lonely and my hormones are making me feel crazy sad and depressed. What do I do?

Had 15 follicles, and ended up with 1 blastocyst only with conventional IVF.

Could the meds have increased the number of eggs, but also were too harsh on the eggs thus chipping away their quality even more?

For the second retrieval, could mini ivf be better choice? Mini ivf is supposed to be less harsh on eggs but you'd also get less eggs.

I just had my day 5 ultrasound after starting stims last Saturday… At my suppression check I had a really nice amount of follicles in both ovaries but today showed only two growing— on the right side. I am 45 1/2… At most of my past retrievals I have had way more follicles but the last few times seem to show something shifting… guessing it’s age.

I can only do this cycle and one more squeezed in before I get cut off on my birthday… Would you cancel or convert into an IUI or keep going for only two eggs?

The embryology lab called with our PGT results and we FINALLY have one normal embryo! After 32 eggs retrieved over the course of 3 brutal retrievals that have sent my body into a tailspin… we have one good looking euploid ready for transfer.

They called around 9am this morning and I took a deep breath before I answered, bracing for the worst. I know I should stay positive, but my history has given left gray clouds in my brain. There’s always a storm waiting for me on the horizon, ya know?

When she said one came back perfectly normal and graded 4BC. She said it was almost a 4BB but the outside cells were still a little spaced out. I began to sob and asked her to repeat herself because I could not believe it. We finally made a good one. All the horrors over the past few years and we’re finally here. The next step. A place I truly never thought we would get to.

Now I know… I KNOW… that even with one good embryo, our chances are still really slim. I know the likelihood of this tiny embryo turning into a baby is still less than 50%. Most people go into their transfer stage with a handful of embryos on ice expecting a few to not take. That’s not us though. We have one shot at this. So today I’m am filled with gratitude that I get the opportunity to continue to try. I’m going to sit in this happiness and hope for a little while.

Please share all your success stories with your average graded embryos. I need to fill my brain with hope that this one will be our baby.

Trying to see if a new doctor might be better. Appointment today. Please share any questions you wished you would’ve asked or share questions you did ask and help you find a better doctor. Thank you!!!

Hi! I have a bit of a theoretical question for you all. I suspect my HSG was done either the day after or the very day of my ovulation. I usually get the clearblue test happy face on CD10 (23 day cycle). My HSG was scheduled for CD8. I TTC with husband on CD7 (day before HSG in which I also detected the egg white like cervical mucus). I proceeded with the HSG on CD8 (cervical mucus was back to normal that day), could not TTC with husband on that day but did try again on CD9, 10 and 12.

I started testing with the clearblue on CD10 (because quite frankly I forgot the days before). I do test once a day in the evening, so theres that. But it is now CD13 and all have been negative (I tested this morning). I know it is possible with once a day testing that I missed the peak, but I understand that test is supposed to be positive for two whole days and the very obvious egg-white mucus on CD7 (day before HSG) have me concerned.

My two concerns are:

1. That I ovulated before the HSG and the egg and/or whatever sperm was present were “washed away”.

2. That the HSG somehow delayed my ovulation so much I might actually miss my window for retrieval in June. I’ve read some anecdotal accounts of a delay in ovulation happening to some after HSG.

Additional info:

I’m 40 1/2 years old, I have an international trip mid June that I can’t cancel. I found a clinic that was moving the process so fast I could probably get a retrieval before that trip (for that I needed my next period to start at the expected time). Either that or conceiving naturally and hoping there is no miscarriage.

I’m preemptively kicking myself a bit because my clinic said I didn’t even need the HSG. But this is my second clinic and I already had the experience of completing a work up at one clinic and then finding out the new clinic needed even more tests. So I tried to get ahead of that eventuality by just doing the HSG in case any other clinic I might need to switch to needs it. Plus the supposed fertility enhancing effects that I could have benefited from this very cycle.

I’ve been quiet about this for a while, but I’ve also been learning so much that I feel ready to share—because if this can help even one woman, it’s worth it.

I started my first IVF cycle in November 2025 at 39 years old. Like many, I went into it hopeful but not fully prepared for how emotional and complex this journey really is.

I’ve been taking medications like Follistim, Menopur, Ganirelix, low-dose HCG, aspirin, and trigger shots like Lupron/Pregnyl—all to help my body produce multiple eggs instead of just one.

💉 First Cycle Results:

7 eggs retrieved

5 mature

Only 2 fertilized

By Day 6 → 1 embryo made it to freeze

That was hard. Physically, emotionally… everything.

We also learned that my husband’s sperm motility was 37%, while normal is 40%+, which can affect fertilization.

But we didn’t give up.

✨ Second Cycle (Now at 40 years old):

This cycle already feels different… better.

14 eggs retrieved

12 mature

11 fertilized 🤍

Seeing those numbers is giving me so much hope. After everything we went through the first time, this feels like a breakthrough.

Now we wait…

Waiting to see how many make it to Day 6 blastocysts—the stage where embryos are strong enough to freeze or transfer.

If you’ve gone through IVF, you know this part is the hardest. So much is out of your control.

But I’m choosing to stay hopeful 🙏🏽

💬 I’d love to hear from others:

How many blastocysts did you get by Day 6 based on similar numbers?

And if you’re going through this right now—just know you’re not alone. This journey is not easy, but you are stronger than you think.

All in God’s hands 🤍✨

Am afraid at the same time hopefull.... looking for support nd positive updates from those who went through this hard journey...

I'm on a timeline for the end of May and sort of dreading going from the psychological safety of euploids stashed to crunch time.

It's extraordinary to walk towards such a high stakes situation with a binary outcome.

Hi everyone ,

I just wanted to ask if you have been diagnosed with silent Endometriosis after failed embryo transfers?

If yes, did you symptoms made you suspect in the first place?

Thank you so much 💓

I’ll preface this by saying I am not advocating for anyone to order “research only” grey market peptides and self-inject without medical supervision. I have not used any of these myself.

After listening to a podcast with a urologist specializing in peptides, it got me thinking that there must be clinicians already paying close attention to this space and exploring how peptides might be used safely for age-related fertility decline in both men and women, specifically women and Egg Quality.

With the FDA potentially reconsidering several peptides in 2026 and 2027 — including BPC-157, KPV, TB-500, MOTS-c, DSIP, Semax, and Epitalon — under review this coming July (2026) it seems possible some of these could become available via compounding pharmacies in the near future, though not all of them would be specific to this subs purpose.

My question:
Has anyone here tried peptide therapies and seen any fertility-related outcomes?

Peptides that keep coming up in fertility discussions:

1. Epitalon (Epithalon) (on the list for July 2026 review)
Works by activating telomerase and lengthening telomeres which shorten with age. Telomere shortening is thought to play a role in oocyte aging, since eggs remain arrested in meiosis for decades and accumulate oxidative damage over time. Shortened telomeres are associated with increased aneuploidy, miscarriage risk, and reduced embryo viability. There’s also a proposed link via pineal gland signaling and melatonin regulation, which may influence reproductive aging.

2. MOTS-c (on the list for July 2026 review)
A mitochondrial-derived peptide sometimes called an “exercise mimetic.” It activates AMPK and improves insulin sensitivity and mitochondrial efficiency. It's a "metabolic reset" — offensive, proactive. Since oocytes are extremely energy-dependent cells, age-related mitochondrial decline is a major issue. MOTS-c is thought to help shift cells back toward oxidative phosphorylation (more efficient ATP production than glycolysis), which is critical for proper meiotic division and embryo development.

3. SS-31 (Elamipretide) (not on the list)
A mitochondrial-targeted peptide that binds to cardiolipin in the inner mitochondrial membrane, helping protect it from oxidative damage and improving electron transport chain efficiency. It's a "shield" — defensive, reactive. Oocytes require massive ATP production, and mitochondrial dysfunction is a major driver of ovarian aging and poor egg quality. While SS-31 doesn’t create new mitochondria, it may help preserve and optimize existing ones. There’s no direct fertility trial data, but the mechanism is highly relevant. Probably not as good for fertility as MOTS-c, since it just protects instead of enhances. I also don't think it's on the list of things soon to be considered to be approved but I could be wrong.

4. GHK-Cu (Copper Peptide) (on the list for 2027 review)
Primarily studied for skin, hair, and wound healing due to its effects on collagen synthesis, angiogenesis, and anti-inflammatory pathways. It influences a large number of human genes and has broad regenerative effects. Theoretically, improved blood flow, reduced fibrosis, and tissue remodeling could support ovarian health, though this is speculative and not directly studied in fertility. I put this on the list since it seems just generally awesome for full body cell quality. I already put this on topically on my face through The Ordinary.

Beyond Eggs looking towards Uterus Health---

5. BPC-157 aka Body Protection Compound 157 (on the list for July 2026 review)

Gold standard tissue improvement and gained popularity among athletes and the general public for injury recovery. Promotes angiogenesis (critical for endometrial blood flow), enhances collagen synthesis, reduces inflammation, and protects against oxidative damage. BPC-157's anti-inflammatory effects reduce chronic endometritis (uterine inflammation), which impairs implantation. If cancer already exists, could theoretically promote tumour growth.

6. TB-500 (on the list for July 2026 review)

Accelerates endometrial repair, promotes cell migration, reduces fibrosis (scar tissue), and improves vascularization. Synergizes perfectly with BPC-157.

Together BPC-157 + TB-500 improve blood flow and collagen deposition, critical for adequate endometrial lining. Angiogenesis: Both peptides promote new blood vessel formation, essential for endometrial receptivity.

-----

I fully understand that a lot of this is still theoretical.

Has anyone actually tried any??

Are there clinics (especially internationally) using/prescribing any of these, and what monitoring if any is occurring (fasting insulin for example since MOTS-c could lower it)

Any side effect fertility improvements when using these for other reasons?

Appreciate any info