u/whatyoucallfrail

my boyfriend found out that i have had an abortion in the past. he’s very upset over it and saying it changes everything and that now he has to think about the fact that “another man has gotten his girlfriend pregnant”. that broke me. why is that the first thing coming to mind after i open up about something so deeply personal? he said this is something i should have told him already and that this changes how he feels about us having a kid one day. i’m absolutely devastated that he’s reacting in this way. i feel i’m being reduced to this thing that happened to me years ago, and that his reaction is reflecting some sense of ownership he feels over me. his reaction feels like he now sees me as impure or like im worth less because i have been pregnant before. it doesn’t even feel he is trying to be empathetic at all.

personally i dont understand why this is something that affects him or our relationship so deeply. it is in the past and has nothing to do with him and doesn’t change anything about me. there are people saying it is my fault for not telling him. is there some obligation i have to tell him this?

my boyfriend found out that i have had an abortion in the past. he’s very upset over it and saying it changes everything and that now he has to think about the fact that “another man has gotten his girlfriend pregnant”. that broke me. why is that the first thing coming to mind after i open up about something so deeply personal? he said this is something i should have told him already and that this changes how he feels about us having a kid one day. i’m absolutely devastated that he’s reacting in this way. i feel i’m being reduced to this thing that happened to me years ago, and that his reaction is reflecting some sense of ownership he feels over me. his reaction feels like he now sees me as impure or like im worth less because i have been pregnant before. it doesn’t even feel he is trying to be empathetic at all.

personally i dont understand why this is something that affects him or our relationship so deeply. it is in the past and has nothing to do with him and doesn’t change anything about me. there are people saying it is my fault for not telling him. is there some obligation i have to tell him this?

my boyfriend found out that i have had an abortion in the past. he’s very upset over it and saying it changes everything and that now he has to think about the fact that “another man has gotten his girlfriend pregnant”. that broke me. why is that the first thing coming to mind after i open up about something so deeply personal? he said this is something i should have told him already and that this changes how he feels about us having a kid one day. i’m absolutely devastated that he’s reacting in this way. i feel i’m being reduced to this thing that happened to me years ago, and that his reaction is reflecting some sense of ownership he feels over me. his reaction feels like he now sees me as impure or like im worth less because i have been pregnant before. it doesn’t even feel he is trying to be empathetic at all. i don’t know what to do or even what i’m asking. i guess i need advice. i feel so alone because i don’t even feel like i can talk to my friends or anyone about this. i guess how can i make him understand that it really doesn’t change anything about our relationship?

TLDR: boyfriend is upset that i have had an abortion in the past. i need advice.