u/tubsvstheworld

This is an issue I’ve thought about in the back of my head for a decent bit of time now.

I’m 24 and have always been sort of skinny, I grew up in an environment where my mom did mostly everything for me and I’ve been surrounded by women most of my life. Never been very assertive and have been able to grow good facial/body hair (the hair on my head is pretty soft and not too thick) and I’ve always had pretty clear skin without too much acne naturally. My voice is pretty deep however. Also I work out very consistently. 4-6 days of high intensity weight lifting weekly, I have a good albeit still sort of thin physique with good tone but not much mass or body hair, but pretty strong for my size (6’4” 185 lbs and can hit 205 on bench and 315 on squat for example). Plus I don’t drink more than once or twice a week.

Recently I’ve been sleeping less, which in my very basic research I’ve learned can stunt test production. That paired with a diet of mostly processed and a persistent marijuana habit that I kicked about a month ago after around 6 years of daily usage. Also had an adult video habit that wasn’t a daily thing by any means but was pretty consistent in my mid to late teens and went to about once a week until I stopped completely around 6 months ago. I have a hard time getting rid of facial fat even with a pretty low body fat percentage as well.

I’m not sure if I’m just panicking or there’s something here. I’ve also been seeing a girl who’s on a hormonal SSRI and I’ve read that those make you attracted to low-T men. There’s been an intimacy issue or two but only when alcohol has been involved.

Is this something that I should get looked at? With diet and sleep improvements I’m sure I can get to better levels naturally (getting good consistent sleep and eating better has made me feel much better about it in the past), but I’m afraid I’m my baseline is getting fried. Any advice is appreciated

Been dating this girl for over a month now and we have a great time together but yesterday something sort of unusual and unexpected happened. We’ve been having pretty regular sex for a few weeks and up until now I was under the impression that I would “satisfy” her almost every time, because she would tell me that was the case after every time. But last night she admitted that she’d been exaggerating it a bit. It wasn’t the biggest deal but I definitely didn’t appreciate being lied to and pretty firmly told her not to do that. In response to this she started crying and kinda lost her composure for a few minutes. When this happened I tried to reassure her I wasn’t tying to start anything I just had to say what I needed to say. We were able to talk it through and it led to me opening up a bit more than I normally do. On top of that she told me the reason she stayed crying in the first place was because of a trauma response from an ex boyfriend who would go picking fights like that consistently. Once the dust settled she sounded grateful but threw in some stuff about me being a “good guy” and things of that nature. We talked late into the night about what we’re hoping for in the future and it was all mostly good conversation, but now this morning something just seemed a little off when we woke up. I’ve dealt with some people with trauma in the past but I haven’t seen it like this ever. Neither of us are very emotional people and those conversations come pretty rarely but now that something like this has happened how can I help manage this going forward? We both really like each other but my personal issues are much tamer than hers. I’m willing to help her obviously but how do I talk to her about this again? I just don’t wanna get left out to dry because I tried helping and opening up.

For the record I almost never show emotion in these situations, I’m a firm believer in keeping a poker face especially with women, but this just got to me somehow. I’m less upset about what she actually said and just more upset with how she handled it after we had a quick spat. That and the whole “good guy” comment which is starting to boil my blood.

Been dating this girl for over a month now and we have a great time together but yesterday something sort of unusual and unexpected happened. We’ve been having pretty regular sex for a few weeks and up until now I was under the impression that I would “satisfy” her almost every time, because she would tell me that was the case after every time. But last night she admitted that she’d been exaggerating it a bit. It wasn’t the biggest deal but I definitely didn’t appreciate being lied to and pretty firmly told her not to do that. In response to this she started crying and kinda lost her composure for a few minutes. When this happened I tried to reassure her I wasn’t tying to start anything I just had to say what I needed to say. We were able to talk it through and it led to me opening up a bit more than I normally do. On top of that she told me the reason she stayed crying in the first place was because of a trauma response from an ex boyfriend who would go picking fights like that consistently. Once the dust settled she sounded grateful but threw in some stuff about me being a “good guy” and things of that nature. We talked late into the night about what we’re hoping for in the future and it was all mostly good conversation, but now this morning something just seemed a little off when we woke up. I’ve dealt with some people with trauma in the past but I haven’t seen it like this ever. Neither of us are very emotional people and those conversations come pretty rarely but now that something like this has happened how can I help manage this going forward? We both really like each other but my personal issues are much tamer than hers. I’m willing to help her obviously but how do I talk to her about this again? I just don’t wanna get left out to dry because I tried helping and opening up.