feel ignored by friends on my birthday
today is my birthday and 2 weeks ago i told my 6 friends the plan and they all said it sounded good. it’s just me , one of my roomates and one friend and they’re just on their phone a lot of it. then just this week one tells me she can’t come to bday dinner bc my other roommate has a sorority event which fine but then today just this morning one just tells me she has class and will be late which ok . then , we go to a comedy show we were held up and late bc of the restaurant and it ends early it was good and i was disappointed bc i wanted to have more time with my friends and we all go to our apartment and practically the whole thing is one friend telling story about a trip she went on, then my roommate telling everyone about her roster of boys , then everyone just trying to hunt for one of the girls new boyfriend or whatever on her instagram which whatever ok what upsets me is they do all that we blow out candles and essentially everyone leaves . i get wanting to catch up with everyone but like it’s like it wasn’t even my birthday and im not one to put the spot light on my self i’ve been having a really bad past couple months my nana passed 4 months ago and life’s just been hard and i’ve missed her a lot today it hurt not to get a call from her singing to me … i was really looking for ward to a day to feel special by people i care about and i just felt ignored and unimportant.
my roomates were sweet and decorated the living room for me and gave me sweet cards . while my other friends couldn’t even get me dollar tree cards or even a soda idc just something to show they thought of me .. one of them not doing anything hurt particularly bad bc on her birthday i hand drew her a card and it’s not like i expected something like that back i just thought something whether its just a thoughtful gesture like getting the 2 dollar coke i got at the show but didn’t do that . i’m just very sad and wish i knew why i wasnt enough