u/rosy_kissessx

im gonna start this by saying i moved out to a more rural property on purpose. like specifically. i grew up basically raising my younger siblings and at this point in my life i value my space and i dont want to be in charge of anyone elses kids ever again.

its a lifestyle choice. its very intentional. i dont feel bad about it and im not gonna pretend i do for the sake of this post

my nearest neighbors have two kids and theyve apparently decided my yard is just. fair game. ive caught them back there four separate times now. twice near my garden. once near my back porch. once actually trying to take something off my outdoor storage shelving which honestly is the one that bothered me the most

first two times i was nice about it. literally walked them back to their parents and mentioned it casually. the parents were like oh kids will be kids. completely unbothered. like i was telling them about the weather

third time i was more direct. i said look i need you to keep your kids on your own property, i moved out here for a reason, im not set up to be a safe space for unsupervised children and i dont want that responsibility. and the mom looked at me like id said something genuinely offensive

i dont know what she expected me to say. like. ma'am

fourth time i walked them back again and that time i was actually clear about it. i said if this happens one more time im gonna have to call whoever handles this around here because at this point its just ongoing trespassing

and thats when the dad called me a monster. like with his whole chest. said what kind of person calls authorities on children. and then the mom chimed in saying i clearly had issues with kids and maybe i should examine that

examine what?? i had no issues with their kids until their kids kept showing up at my house. i told them that. i said i have no issues with kids on their own property, i have issues with kids on MY property after asking you four times to keep them home

AITA?

my dad has had advancing dementia for about five years now. for the first two years it was manageable but for the last three it really has not been

im not gonna list everything because it would take honestly forever. what ill say is that the level of care he needs is beyond what i can safely provide. there have been incidents that scared me. he hasnt always recognized me and has reacted to me as a stranger in ways that were physically frightening. ive restructured my entire life around his care. i havent taken a proper break in over two years. i stopped seeing friends. i stopped doing anything that required me to be unavailable for more than a few hours

i tried everything available to me, like in home care workers, day programs, adjusting the house, medications reviewed multiple times, support groups, all of it. the behaviors escalated anyway because thats just the nature of what he has

a few months ago i made the decision to move him into a memory care facility that specializes in exactly his level of need. it wasnt sudden, it was the end of a very long road

and since the transition some things have shifted. i started sleeping more than four hours at a time. i started answering my phone again. a couple of friends i hadnt seen properly in over a year came back around

now my extended family is furious. several of them have said i gave up on him. one of them told me a good child doesnt put a parent away. none of them were in my house for the last three years

i still visit him. hes getting care i genuinely couldnt provide

AITAH?

so I do floral arrangements as a hobby that slowly turned into a small side business and my mother in law asked me to do the centerpieces and a big display table for a family anniversary party she was throwing. I spent about three weeks on it, sourced specific flowers, had a whole concept going. when I finished setting it up the morning of the party it genuinely looked really good and I was proud of it.

my sister in law has always had this thing where she makes little comments about my work. too structured, too formal, not relaxed enough, whatever. she does crafts herself and I think the business side of what I do bothers her a little even though she would never say that out loud.

anyway twenty minutes before guests were supposed to arrive I went to help my mother in law with something in another room. I was gone maybe five minutes, genuinely not long at all.

I walked back in and my sister in law was at the display pulling out my focal flowers and replacing them with carnations she had apparently brought herself. she looked up and said oh I just thought it needed something more cheerful and approachable, it felt a little intimidating before.

I told her to stop and step back from the table. she laughed and said she was just helping and I said I needed her to move away from my work and not touch it again for the rest of the night.

she went straight to my mother in law and cried.

am I wrong?