Hello Mark and fellow wafflers! I've been a dedicated listener for more than a few years now, and still appreciate each and every video that's come out in the last few years. I don't know how to properly express that I think listening to your videos has genuinely changed my life for the better, and I will never be able to express my gratitude enough about how much your videos got me through some very hard times when I needed them most. That being said, I do hope that I can once again gain some insight from some fellow wafflers who might know how to navigate the situation I'm in.

Some context: Almost three years ago I moved out of my Dad and Stepmom's house and with my Auntie because of an unpleasant situation (if you'd like more background info check my profile for that other post). The result is that I've been living with my Auntie and Uncle until I was hospitalized for some serious mental health problems. Since I got out, it was decided I would go back to live with my Dad and Stepmom and improve on my mental health with familial support. How well has that support been? Well, not exactly great, but at least it's been better than it was about three years ago. But that's not the problem.

Stepmom has three daughters, ranging from Adult (A), Teenager (T), and Child (C). For context, I'm in my early 20s. I'm a little older than A, but not by much.

Worrying about coming back to live with my Dad and Stepmom for multiple reasons, I really didn't want to come back to the same situation I was in three years ago. My Dad assured me that everything would be different, and "put in the past" so to speak, and I decided at the end of the day to believe him. "A" and I even had a conversation about her feelings towards me, and she assured me that she didn't have negative feelings and everything would be started fresh. I decided to believe her. For the most part, everything's been fine.

But about the last couple of days everything changed. You see, the whole family is on this app that can track your location, how fast you drive, battery life, etc, and everybody included in a certain group can see each other. It's supposed to be for safety, but they mostly use it to see who's coming home from work, how far they are from home, etc. I was on it a few years ago with them, but decided to turn it off and leave it after the unpleasant situation. A few days ago, my Dad decided to invite me back into the group so I could be included again.

Then, my Dad comes home from work a day ago and goes to "T" and asks her why he can't see all three girls anymore. Apparently, the two older girls decided to disable their locations and leave the group because I could see their locations now. They made a whole new group without me. I overheard my Dad and "T" arguing about it, and then my Dad got really pissed off because "T" said even Stepmom approved of the situation.

Spoiler alert: Stepmom did not approve of the situation. So they lied to my Dad.

Then, yesterday, I was helping the youngest sister, "C", figure out how to stream youtube from her phone to the TV. I showed her how to do it on mine first, then, showed her how to do it from her phone. The thing is, though, my phone is a samsung and hers is an Iphone, so they connect a little differently and I had to figure out how to show her how to connect her Iphone to the TV. I had to go into her settings to enable something, then gave her phone back to her when she went to go stream youtube in her room.

Apparently, "T" walked by and saw me doing this. She didn't say anything to me at the time, but this morning my Stepmom told my Dad that "T" saw me on "C"'s phone looking at the location app looking for their locations - which I didn't - and later, my Dad called me and asked if I was lying to him. I said no! I pointed out that I had the location app on my phone, and that the girls were home - so why would I even need to know where they were at anyway? Luckily, he believed me, but they lied about me again.

This may be me feeling deja vu, but I can see all this going downhill already*.* The last time I was living with my Dad and Stepmom and the girls started lying about me, my Dad and I started fighting. He didn't know who to believe, and I guess I'm afraid that's going to happen again. I haven't done anything to piss them off, and I've made sure to just stay out of their way so they don't get upset with me, but it seems like no matter what I do they seem angry with me. If anyone has any advice on how to handle this, or how to handle the relationship between my stepsisters and I, I would appreciate it.

Thanks so much for listening!

So my house backs on to a set of 4 houses, they're terrace houses. I was in my garden with my 2 dogs playing and my big dog decided to do a poo. Now I'm a proud home owner, my garden is clean, nice and tidy and I've never left a jobby in the garden...1 singular poo was left at the back of the garden for 10 minutes while my dogs finished playing and then I put them in the house and got cleaning supplies.

I then came back out with 2 poo bags as my dog is a small pony, and my hose to clean the grass. Anyway, I'm crouched down cleaning and I feel burning on my forehead, I look up and there's my normally nice and friendly neighbour SCOWLING at me through the gap in the fence.

I was obviously very taken aback and sort of low-key fell back with fright. She started screaming at me, I mean screaming about how that dog poo had ruined her whole day. I laughed because honestly I did think she was joking, I mean it's 1 poo and his poo doesn't even smell very bad because of his diet, obviously it's still a poo but he eats plenty fibre so they're solid. Anyway moving on from the poo..my neighbour was not joking.

She proceeded to call me and my husband lazy, she called my dog fat (he isn't, he's a puppy) and said that she'd be putting poison on the fence line!! Now we don't share a fence, my neighbours garden and mine are separated by a large path and there are bins along the path. So essentially, she's saying she's putting poison in my garden. I was so taken aback I didn't say anything because I just thought wtf?

I went back out a few days later playing ball with them, she said that they shouldn't be out the back garden she started shouting again!! I really had enough, I'm going through cancer treatment just now and it just upset me as we got on so well previously. I asked her to leave me alone and if she threw, sprayed or put anything dodgy in my garden I'd seek legal advice.

I left it at that and decided not to speak to her again, my cleaner has a friend who deep cleans gardens, so she came out and cleaned the whole garden and fence line and I've added a little fence to stop my dogs going up the back of the garden where potentially shes putting poison.

Today I had a chap at the door, from none other than the council! They said they'd received a complaint that my garden was covered in dog poo. Literally everywhere. The council lady came out back and laughed and said well very clearly it's a false allegation.

So I filled her in on all the drama that's been going on, and she told me that it was that neighbour who'd complained. I wasn't surprised and the other neighbours next door to the accuser had told the council lady that the accuser was crazy and that they could see into my garden and it never had poo. Apparently everyone in their row has had issues with her.

The council lady went back round to the neighbour and told her to stop wasting council time and that she could clearly see my garden was clean and that it was a false allegation.

My husband saw the neighbour spraying stuff over the fence STANDING ON A LADDER. He went out and told her to go away, and that we had CCTV.

I called the police today and they said someone would call me back as I am really worried about my dogs. We're actually looking at moving now cause of it. We keep a tidy home, we don't have parties, our dogs are both very well mannered quiet dogs who don't bother anyone.

I cannot understand why she has launched this attack on us! Is it a mental issue? The council said she'd phoned them 20 times and the first time they'd told her if we owned our house there was nothing they could do but after 20 calls they decided to come out.

I spoke to this lady 2 months ago and she was absolutely fine, I took her flowers round 2 years ago when her husband passed away and I drove her to an appointment a few months after that. Why has she suddenly decided she despises us?!

First time redditor here, I have never been one to post things on the internet, but I am genuinely SO confused and need to figure this out for the sake of my own sanity.

For a little background, I, 26-year-old female, have recently gotten into sourdough bread making, and after some of my coworkers bought baguettes from me, my hobby became a successful side hustle. I get around 20-35 orders a day. Around two weeks ago, I baked Exactly 50 baguettes, which I know because each baguette form/tray makes ten baguettes, and I baked five forms, SO 50. when all of the baguettes were done, I went to bed and left them to cool on my counter. When I woke up, I immediately went to package the cooled baguettes, and I came up two baguettes short, so I recounted, only 48 baguettes. Because I always bake a few extra baguettes for myself and to give to my friends, this was not a problem, but I still was confused as to what happened few days later, the same thing happened again, except I came up four baguettes short. The very next day, I took EXTRA care to count out the baguettes, exactly 30. After they baked, I lined them up I three equal rows of ten, SO 30.I went to bed, and the nest morning, each row only had 9, so 27 baguettes. This confirmed that the baguettes were in fact going missing.

Honestly have no clue how they could be disappearing, I don't have any pets that could eat the bread, no roommates or a partner to steal it, and no one other than myself has a key to my apartment. I highly doubt that anyone would be able to break in through my front door without me noticing, and while I do have a balcony, I am on the fourth floor, so i doubt that anyone would scale the building. I do have neighbors that I suppose could access my balcony from theirs, but each balcony has about an 8-foot gap. The door to my balcony does not lock, so if someone could get to my balcony, they would easily access the bread. The fact that anyone would ever break into a house to steal bread is so weird and unbelievable. I am not a sleepwalker to my knowledge, I am not schizophrenic, and I am not on any medications nor do I need to be. All of the reasonable answers to this mystery are so unlikely and frankly silly. I ordered a small hidden game camera to see if the baguettes are truly being stolen, which should arrive tomorrow. I am pretty sure I am of sound mind, so if this happens again, I will really start to get scared. At this point, I really just need the reddit community to help me solve this. I would greatly appreciate any of your theories and will hopefully update in a few days about the situation.

TL; DR baguettes have been going missing from my apartment, and I cannot figure out why or how

FIRST UPDATE: I have no idea if this is the right way to update, so please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong:)

I want to thank all of you that offered advice and theories!!! checked my carbon monoxide detector, and it was fine! I do not use weed or even alcohol, and I don't wake up full, so really don't think i am the bread thief. as for my landlord, I believe she would never do something like this, she is a very sweet middle-aged lady and has never given me a reason to believe that she would go into the apartment without my knowledge.

at this time, I am afraid that it is likely a human thief, because of how neatly the baguettes disappeared. I have taken some precautions, by barricading the front door, the balcony and my bedroom door. Honestly, I don't feel unsafe, because I highly doubt a bread thief would try to kill me lol. because of my baking schedule, I did not bake today but set out 15 cookies on a plate to see if any disappear. (they are oatmeal chocolate chip, homemade) the camera should arrive at around 4 Tomorrow. I will also be baking tomorrow, and I will be able to set up and video. I ordered a lock for my balcony, but that won't arrive until next week. I have not contacted the police yet because I don't really have much evidence, and nothing else has gone missing. Wish me luck! Ill update tomorrow morning to let you know if the cookies were taken :)

TEENY SECOND UPDATE:

I was just scrolling through the comments. and one commenter gave the link to this confessions post;

 https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/s/oTpuSlOW5o

this post was submitted after my initial post and after my mention of the cookies.

I know that this is fake. because you cannot see or smell the cookies from the balcony, and i have been home all day, with no possibility of anyone entering my apartment

i honestly think that this is funny, and i am not upset, but i just wanted to clarify that the confession is illegitimate :)

THIRD UPDATE:

I woke up this morning safe thank goodness :)

when I took down the barricade for my room and went to the kitchen, I checked to see if any cookies had gone missing. All 15 were still there. The balcony and front door barricades were both intact!

this could mean a few things:

1. Rats don't like oatmeal chocolate chip cookies
2. The barricades stopped an intruder

3.The thief knows my baking schedule, every other day breaks in, and because I'm baking today, will smell the bread and try to steal bread again

I fear the third option is most likely. For now, I will have to wait until the camera arrives. Ill update soon!

FOURTH UPDATE:

the cameras have arrived!!!!

there are actually four motion activated game cameras that my father recommended for the quality and easy use! (he is a hunter)

I set one at my entryway, one at my counter, one at the balcony, and one on the balcony.

I am currently baking baguettes, so if the thief's signal to break in is the scent of bread baking, I suspect I will have a guest tonight. I briefly considered the idea of staying in a hotel tonight to be safe, but i have a Glock to defend myself if needed. Yet again, I don't think a bread thief is going to try to kill me lol. I will still barricade tonight though. I think that the cameras will be able to reveal what's been going on :) my hope is that somehow, I am the problem, but I fear that someone may be breaking in!

FIFTH UPDATE:

a few commenters suggested checking for secret panels or other places someone could break in. I thoroughly checked the apartment and didn't find anything suspicious, so my intruder most likely came in through the balcony.

SIXTH UPDATE:

no sign of the thief yet!

the baguettes are in position; I am barricaded safely :)

HUGE SEVENTH UPDATE:

THE THIEF HAS BEEN REVEALED!!!!

at around 1 am in the morning, the cameras picked up some movement, and when I looked at the live footage on the counter, THERE WAS A MAN. (worst case scenario)

so, I called the police and stayed in my room. While they were on the way, I was watched the man steal two baguettes (I wasn't crazy), and then it clocked to me how he got in. THE HUGE VENT ON MY CEILING!!

(For context the vent is almost directly above the refrigerator) he has been climbing out of the vent, onto the refrigerator, then the counter, and lastly the floor. This was confirmed by watching him disappear. The police arrived maybe 2 minutes later, and when I explained what was going on, they went into the vent after him. He was arrested for breaking in, and I was asked to go down to give a statement. This took a really long time, so sorry I could not update sooner! as to who this man is, he IS one of my neighbors!

because this is now a legal thing, I don't think I should say much, but what I will say is that I never would have expected this from him! I didn't know him well at all, but he seemed nice enough. The thing is that I still can't figure out his motivation? Like I know that baguettes are good, but how do you figure out the vents, and go onto break in and steal baguettes?

obviously, I notified my landlady, and she was very understanding that I will be leaving. The officers said that I will be able to go and get my things later today. Since I don't have anything else to do today, I am going to see my psychiatrist and then stay at my friend's house until I can find a new apartment.

thank you so much for your support, ideas, and funny comments! I am giving you all metaphorical baguettes! :)

WAIT NO ILL JUST GIVE YOU THE(scaled down) BAGUETTE RECIPE (makes about 4)

WARNING: vague instructions, I am really bad at explaining things :), also may cause thieves to break in and steal baguettes

ingredients:

1.370 grams unbleached bread flour

2. 200 grams warm water

3.100 grams active sourdough starter (you can order one online )

4. 10 grams salt

instructions:

1.mix all ingredients and knead dough. Cover and let rest in a bowl for 1 hour.

2.perfom stretch and pulls, let rest for another hour.

3.repeat second step two more times, then let rest for 4-5 hours

4.shape into baguettes, and cold proof in fridge overnight.

5. preheat oven to 420 degrees Fahrenheit, place baguettes in oven. on the lower oven rack place a cookie tray with ice cubes to create steam.

6. bake for 1 hour, let cool completely

7. get baguettes stolen

UPDATE EIGHT:

I am doing well today! It hit me that this all happened when i went to my psychiatrists yesterday.

she helped me process this as much as possible!

also, apparently the thief is not able to pay his bail, so he will stay in jail until the court hearing, which makes me feel a lot safer :)

I'll try to update as soon as we get a verdict!

So Reddit took my original down but ima repost with more context, while also leaving some of the more sensitive details out (not sure what made the mods remove it) if you want more clarification just comment and I will try to answer to the best of my ability. This has been confirmed that this is the police, I have the officers full name, number, email (that ends in .org) and his badge number, I called the non emergency number for his precinct to confirm not only he worked there but they were working on such a case.

06/18/2026
They called me and told me they found an animal that’s chip belonged to me and asked me to recite animals I’ve lost or had created, I asked what gender or breed the animal was, he called me back after calling the animal control to find out the info on the chip. He came back telling me the info on the chip was a female cat, around 13.5 years old. The only cat I’ve had that was female and that age was “tuna”. We had tuna cremated in December 2024. So this didn’t make sense to me till he asked for the name of the clinic, I told him the name and and area but I couldn’t remember the address, he said on ____ (the street name) I said yes he said I know which one you are talking about then asked me to collect info and if I would be willing to bring my ashes in to be tested, I said yes and he told me he would be in contact with me later.

06/25/2026
Y’all had told me this had to be a scam (I hadn’t had his email or badge number at the time of the earlier post that got taken down), and I was holding onto that belief, but the officer (same one) called me today and asked for more info and if I could fill out a witness report he emailed me, and the email was an official .org email, the statement was an official statement from his district. He asked if I wanted to press charges so I said yes and asked me to put this in my report. I finished it with all the info asked for, and emailed it back to him. I’m at a loss and want idk advice, legal advice (what should I find to press charges? What would make my case stronger?), if I’m just over reacting? Am I justified in feeling the anger and pain I feel, maybe I just need comfort. I’ve never experienced anything similar and I’m struggling, I will link the original or y’all can go to my profile I’m new to Reddit and don’t know how this works.

Location: Texas

Link to original~ https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/s/J5CkpEPsnk

This will be pretty long. Haven’t posted to Reddit before so forgive me for formatting. 

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A bit of background. I (M, 29) have been friends with Bride (F, 30) and Groom (M, 29) since early days in school. We’re part of a big friend group that has remained close after school and even after uni. Although we’re all friends, some are obviously closer to others. Bride and Groom were my closest friends and I was to theirs. 

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Bride and Groom dated for years and when they got engaged, they started planning a destination wedding. Everyone was looking forward to it, since it’s difficult to get everyone together it would be great for us all to reconnect and celebrate their wedding after years of them being together. Groom asked me to be his best man and I was so happy to be asked, since I’d known them the longest I had so many stories and really wanted to do a good speech about their journey that they would love. 

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The wedding invitations went out about a year before the date and they included a section that everyone was to make their way to the venue but they would arrange transport from the venue back to the main area of the city where everyone was staying. If people wanted it, you needed to say yes when you RSVP’d (important for later). They picked a really nice place in Spain, so when our friend group was booking accommodation some people booked hotels, mainly the couples, and others booked an Airbnb. I booked an Airbnb with three other friends: Chris (M, 29), Mark (M, 30) and Sarah (F, 29). 

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Anyway, the lead up to the wedding, no issues, no drama, all good. I was talking to the Bride about a month before the wedding and she mentioned a lot of people said yes to the transport from the venue back to the city after the wedding, so she booked a coach. The plan was the first would arrive, pick people up and drop them off and then come back and pick up the rest. She messaged everyone this detail in our group chat. 

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So, wedding day. And it was a great day. Food good. Speeches went really well and the place was beautiful. Everyone had a great time and it was just great to be in a room with all your friends in one place again. Both Bride and Groom had a great time, although they did get really drunk. Not really a problem, as they were having a good time and that’s all we wanted for them, but it didn’t help with what happened next. 

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As the night went on, some people left early and got a taxi, so they weren’t getting the coach. Also to note, the Bride had given a list to the organiser for the driver on who was supposed to get on the coach first and who was getting on the second pick up. It wasn’t communicated with anyone but we figured it’ll work out on the night. The first ‘coach’ arrives at the end of the night and it’s not a coach but 3 taxis. It got disorganised from here. The Bride and Groom got frustrated as nobody knew if they should get on this one or wait for the next one. The drivers were frustrated and the organiser for the drivers was screaming people’s names to get in the taxis. But since some people had already left, it added to the confusion. So the organiser put the list on a table of everyone who was supposed to get in the first trip back and told everyone if your name is on the list to get in one of the taxis asap. Myself, Chris, Mark and Sarah checked the list since we’re all in the Airbnb together and we weren’t on it, so we figured we’re on the next one. 

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Eventually the taxis got filled and off they went. About 30 mins later they were back for round 2. At this stage the Bride and Groom were stressed and annoyed at the situation so I told them to just grab their stuff and I’ll help the organiser sort the list this time. So they left me to it. I sat with the organiser in the venue and we went through the list of the people who had already left. Me and my friends from the Airbnb noticed that none of us were on this list either, so I told them we’ll order an Uber for ourselves once I’m done sorting the taxis for everyone else, since we realised from a head count there were still too many people for the taxis. Then I’m running around with the organiser and helping get everyone into the taxis. During this I checked on the Bride’s mum and dad to make sure they have a space and they said yes, they are getting in a taxi with the Bride’s sister. 

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So most people got in the taxis and others ordered an Uber so everyone had a way back. I head over to my friends and tell them we can book an Uber now, but the organiser calls us over and says she can fit us all in one of the taxis and to jump in. So we do and the only other people in this taxi are the Bride and Groom. We open the door and the Bride and Groom tell us to “get in! get in!”. We do. Door shuts. Off we go. Then the Groom loses his absolute shit. 

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Groom starts screaming at the four of us saying we ruined their night, what the fuck are you doing. We wanted Bride’s family in this taxi with us. He’s proper losing his shit. We just stayed silent. Not sure how to react or what was going on. Then Bride tries to tell him “No. I never sent them the updated list” but he carries on in a cycle shouting and screaming at us and ignored her comment. Bride then kept quiet. One thing to know about the Groom is, when he’s drunk he gets very argumentative and he is always right. Always. Like if he is drunk and says the sky is red. It’s fucking red. And if you correct him he just gets nasty and argues more. This continues the whole car ride. When we got dropped off, Sarah apologised to the Bride and the Bride says “Well, you guys did ruin the night”, completely ignoring the fact all of us heard her mention she never sent an updated list. We just shut the door and then Sarah starts having a panic attack. She got stressed out because she thought we ruined their wedding. We chill for a bit until Sarah calms down and then head back to our Airbnb. We’re like what the fuck was that about. We just start debriefing on what just went down, then I start getting texts from the Groom saying “What the fuck”, “fuck you”, “ruined our wedding. Hope you're happy”. I didn’t reply. We just stayed up and talked more about it before going to bed. 

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The next day we were supposed to join the wedding party in a pub for Day 2 but we decided not to go. I did get messages from the Bride and Groom just letting us know what the plan was. They texted me as if nothing had happened. They pretty much were brushing the Groom's reaction in the taxi under the rug. Which they’ve always done and I wasn’t surprised. I was the only one who they texted so instead of going we met up with the rest of our friend group and filled them in. That turned into us day drinking and just talking about other times the Groom has acted like this, which basically everyone has their own drunken Groom angry at them story. My mates did then say to me that they know I’m close with both of them but they always felt they treated me like shit and I just put up with it. One of the boys said ‘”You’re their shoulder to cry on when they need you but you're also their punchbag when they want you to be”. I know, deep ha. But this did stick with me and I decided then to just be done with them. I knew I’d bring it up with them later but I didn’t want to talk about anything or bring this up with them while they’re celebrating their wedding and in the honeymoon phase. So we had two more days in Spain before we all went home and we just didn’t reply to them or meet up the rest of the trip. 

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One week later. Still no contact with Bride and Groom. I didn’t reach out, they didn’t either. As far as I knew they didn’t think there was a problem. Then I get a knock on my door and it’s the Bride’s mum. I wasn’t expecting her and she said she was just passing by and dropped by to see if everything was ok. I just told her yeah, work was just really busy while I was away and I’ve been swamped playing catch up. This was bullshit but I didn’t want to complain about the Bride to her mum and I also didn’t want to seem that I’m kicking off an argument between us when they just got married. Bride’s mum then said to me that she thought it was odd she didn’t see me around Bride and Groom after the wedding and just wanted to check if everything was ok. She told me she said the same thing to Bride and Groom and they said everything is fine but there was an issue with the taxis and Bride’s Mum and Dad were supposed to be in their taxi with them when they left after the wedding. Bride’s Mum then said “Nobody told us that was the plan. We just got in a taxi that was bringing us back”. So basically Bride’s mum unintentionally confirmed to me that this ‘plan’ of them all being together on the way home after the venue was bullshit. 

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About two months after the wedding, I get a text from the Bride. First contact since the wedding. She just said she hasn’t heard from me in a while and wanted to check in. At this point I felt it’s been enough time since the wedding, I’ll let them know why I’ve been keeping my distance. I tried to be as mature as possible. I just said ‘yeah I wanted to take some space. The Groom losing his shit at us was out of line. And no apology afterwards and trying to brush it under the rug was shitty’. Bride then sends me an essay about how they were frustrated too and were expecting an apology from me but they forgive me and want to put it behind us. I just told her ‘I don’t want to hash everything all out. You're missing a lot of information. This isn’t a situation where we were all in the wrong. I think we should just stay no contact’. I was just really pissed off that they thought I should apologise and also if we were in the wrong, why am I the only one getting messages from them? They never messaged Chris, Mark or Sarah and expected an apology from them. Also, why is Bride reaching out? I did want an apology from her too but the Groom kicked all this off and should be reaching out. No? The Bride then replied with an angry message that she’s the only one looking to fix things and she won’t be chasing me again. And I left it at that. 

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Latest update was about a week ago now. This is coming up to a year since the wedding and a few months of no contact from my last text messages with the Bride. I get a message from the Groom threatening to beat me up and put me in hospital if I keep talking shit about Bride (Which is hilarious. I’m a big boy, the Groom is tiny. If I sit on him he’s fucked ha). Now I get this message MONTHS after the wedding and my last messages with the Bride. We’ve all moved on from this story. Don’t know how it’s brought back up to them. I’m guessing through mutual friends. But I feel pretty much over it now (I guess not as much as I thought since I’m posting this on reddit now ha). Miss the friendship I thought we had but it’s done now. So I just blocked them everywhere and that’s it. 

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There might be an update down the line. Haven’t seen them in person since the wedding and we still have a lot of mutual friends although a lot of people have gone no/low contact with them from the wedding. Other shit went down with other people but I’m not involved with that and not my story to tell. I thought about putting this story up on reddit for a while but feel I already got validation with my friends that I didn’t do anything wrong so I guess I’m looking for strangers on the internet to tell me otherwise if I’m missing anything. Also, I’m annoyed the Bride and Groom are missing a lot of information on what really happened and don’t want to hear anything else in case that puts them in a bad light so I like the idea if it ever comes up with them again, I’d just send them this reddit post with the key information. But that sounds petty and I’d rather we just keep not speaking anymore.

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 Although I had to leave some more details out as this was getting way too long but kept the key information in. So reddit AITA? 

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Hey Reddit, I’ve never posted before, idk how this works. I’m looking for I’m not sure, legal advice? Maybe just comfort that this is as fucked up as I think it is? Okay here is the story so far

06/17/2026
my family member got a message saying they had found a cats remains and the chip led back to us. We immediately get scared that our cat korren got hit by a car or something, we start searching for him immediately. He comes waltzing in the house a few hours later, we confirm it’s him. We then just assume, okay maybe they found our other cat who disappeared like 6 years ago. We kinda forget about it until…

06/18/2026
The next day I am at work and I get a call from a police officer, saying he’s looking for me to ask some questions, I’m confused until he says it’s about a missing pet. I told him that my cat wasn’t missing but I did find it odd they would give me a call if they found my cats remains after he was hit by a car. He said no that’s not how we found the animal. He proceeded to tell me they found a bunch of animal remains and asked me to go though all the animals I’ve lost and or cremated. I’m immediately more confused, why is he asking about my cremated cats when he said he had found a body? I go through the list and he takes note of their names and breeds. I ask him to tell me any more info from the chip and he says he will call me back, I get a call later from him, he says that the chip was for a female cat who was 13.5 years old. The cat who disappeared was a male so I knew they were not talking about him. The only female cat I have ever had was my cat Tuna. I took her to get put down due to her having cancer and seizures, we chose to get her cremated by the company who they are partnered with (I won’t disclose the location, I want more info before I do so). The officer said he would like to test the remains I have of what I thought was my cat. He wants to call me later this week and arrange that. I want to know can I sue them? The company I payed money to handle my baby with care and respect, I payed for the service of private cremation. I clearly didn’t get that, I’m so so hurt all over again, I feel like I lost her again, it hurts so much, I celebrated dia de Los muertos (day of the dead)with her, she’s in my ofrenda (like a cabinet we keep pictures, and items of passed love ones to honor them and remember them) Am I right to be as upset as I am about this, I want to press charges for what they did, because that’s just so so sick, to just dump her body like that, and it wasn’t just her, the officer said there were many more. I’m not sure of the condition of the bodies because I was at work when he called and he didn’t want to upset me further. I just want the people responsible to have consequences. I don’t want them to do this to anyone else ever again. I will update again (if I can figure out how) when he calls me with more info and after we get her ashes tested.

Location: Texas

Edit For clarification, I do keep my cats indoors, they are only allowed out in a stroller, or their carriers. The cat who "came waltzing back inside" is my moms cat, same with the one who disappeared, she has a dog door and the cats get out, I've tried to tell her to not let them out, when I lived there I had to keep my cat in my room so he wouldn't get out, but I've since moved and he's not allowed out. I personally don't like cats being outdoor cats, it puts them in unnecessary danger and is bad for the environment.
I've tried to talk her into getting rid of the dog door, but that isn't what this post is about.

Edit for more info: the original message about the chip being found was a voice message, they then reached out to me, the officer told me who he was (I won’t say a name for privacy) and asked me this was *said my full name* I said yes and he started asking me questions about any missing pets or pets I’ve put down, I gave him the list. He then asked where I had taken them I told him what city but couldn’t remember exact addresses for some. When I mentioned the city for tuna he asked if it was xyz clinic I said yes and told me the location and I confirmed. He asked me to bring in her ashes later this week to the police department if that was something I was willing to do. I of course agreed, just wanted to clarify for all the comments wondering if it’s a scam. I will say tuna “urn” is more of a box with a latch, which is unusual, at least for all the pet ashes I currently have which are cedar boxes where you have to undo a screw to get to the ashes and are stamped with the company’s logo. Tunas is just a normal looking wooden box with a metal latch to open it, inside is a fabric bag that holds the ashes, I haven’t looked inside the fabric bag, and her name is on a gold metal tag thing.

It wasn't valuable in a money sense. It was an old watch my grandfather gave me when I was a teenager. The thing barely worked, looked outdated even back then, and probably wasn't worth much to anyone else. But it was one of the few things I had left from him.

One day I realized it was gone.

I searched everywhere. Drawers, boxes, closets, old backpacks, my car, my parents' house. Over the years I'd randomly think about it and do another search. Every single time I'd end up disappointed. Eventually I accepted that it was probably lost forever during one of my moves.

Last weekend I was cleaning out a storage cabinet before replacing it. While pulling everything out, I found a small cardboard box wedged behind the back panel. I almost threw it away without opening it because it looked empty.

Inside was the watch.

The part that's driving me insane is that I KNOW I've looked in that cabinet before. More than once. I've taken everything out of it. I've cleaned it. I've moved it. At one point I specifically searched that exact area because I was convinced the watch had to be there.

My wife says I probably just missed it years ago and forgot. That's the most logical explanation.

But finding something after nearly a decade, in a place you've checked dozens of times, feels like some kind of glitch in reality.

Has anyone else had an object disappear for years and then suddenly reappear somewhere it absolutely should have been found already?

Sorry for the delay in the updates. I just got busy one of the kiddos got really sick so it was all hands on deck.

UPDATE 1 – Part 6: Georgetown, Twins, and Choosing to Help

Now that the home base is set, here’s where I’m at with school and the babies:

• I’m 19 and wrapped up my first year at Georgetown, studying business with a focus on law & entrepreneurship/small business.

• My long‑term goal is still to build a full‑service dog business (walking, grooming, training, possibly therapy work) backed by solid business and legal knowledge.

Right now the business is on the back burner as I’m helping Laurie.

Instead, I’m:

• Focusing on my classes.

• Taking certifications and trainings Laurie helps line up.

• Helping at home while we all adjust to the babies.

The twins
Not long after I moved in, Laurie announced that she was pregnant and right around November gave birth to twin boys.

Newborn twins are…a lifestyle. Sleep vanished. Time lost meaning. The house became a symphony of tiny screams at 3 a.m.

At life giver’s house, something like that would have meant:
• I become default night nurse.

• All child care and housework basically shift onto me.

• Any need I have (homework, sleep, personal space) gets dismissed, because “the babies come first.”

Here, it looks like this:
• I choose to take a shift with feeds or diapers sometimes, especially if I see Laurie dragging and I know I don’t have an exam the next morning.

• I take Henry and Jenna out to the park or for ice cream when the twins are fussy, so the house isn’t overcrowded and my parents can catch their breath.

• I help with homework, bedtime, and “keep two kindergarteners from tap‑dancing on the furniture” duty when needed.

But every single time, I still hear:
• “Thank you for helping.”

• “Are you sure you’re not taking on too much?”

• “You don’t have to do this. We can figure something else out.”

The biggest difference is internal:
I still help a lot—but now I’m choosing to help, out of love, not out of fear or obligation. And that choice is respected.
——————

UPDATE 1 – Part 7: Therapy and Finally Naming What Happened

Once things calmed down a little after the twins were born and I’d started at Georgetown, my dad gently brought up therapy.

He didn’t sit me down with a “you’re broken, go fix yourself.” It was more like:

“I know your mom and I messed things up. I know what happened in Nevada hurt you. I don’t want you to have to untangle that alone. If you ever want to talk to someone professional, I’ll help you find one, and I’m willing to go too if you want me there.”

That alone felt different from life giver, who used “therapy” as a threat (“You need therapy because something’s wrong with you”) but never as support.

I eventually said yes.

What we worked through in therapy

From the first sessions, my therapist made it clear: this was a space for me, not for my obligations, not for life giver’s version of events.

We unpacked a lot:

• Parentification:
How I was turned into the third parent. How it started small (“Can you watch them for a bit?”) and turned into “You are responsible for everyone all the time.”

• Emotional manipulation:
The guilt trips. The “after everything I’ve done for you.” The “you’re abandoning your family if you don’t do what I say.”

• The pressure to sacrifice my future:
Being told that going to an out‑of‑state college was selfish. That wanting a career, independence, and my own place to live meant I didn’t love my siblings.

• Confusion about love:
How I’d started to believe that love meant constantly being in pain or exhausted. That if I wasn’t suffering, I wasn’t doing “enough.”

My therapist called things by their real names:
emotional ab*se, boundary violations, coercive control, parentification.

It was both awful and freeing to hear. Awful, because no one wants to hear, “Yes, that was ab*se.” Freeing, because it meant I wasn’t crazy or dramatic. I wasn’t “too sensitive.” It was real.

We also started building actual boundaries:
• That I have the right to say no, even to a parent.

• That I have the right to prioritize safety, education, and mental health.

• That I am not responsible for the choices life giver makes, including how many kids she has.

Dad in therapy
My dad joined a few sessions when we talked specifically about:

• The divorce

• How much he did or didn’t know about what was happening in Nevada.

• His own mistakes.

He didn’t defend himself or try to make it about him. There were moments where he said:

“I should have asked more questions.”

“I didn’t realize how bad it was, and I’m sorry I missed the signs.”

“I can’t change what happened, but I can show up differently now.”
——————

UPDATE 1 – Part 8: Writing the Letter to the Life Giver

At some point, my therapist suggested something that scared me more than moving across the country: writing a letter to the life giver.

Not to send right away. Not to “fix things.”

Just to say, in clear words, what happened and what my boundaries were now.
We worked on that letter over multiple sessions.

At first, my drafts sounded like this:
• “I’m sorry but…”

• “I know you tried your best but…”

• “Maybe I’m being selfish but…”

My therapist would gently stop me and ask:

“Is that actually what you feel, or is that what you’ve been trained to say so she doesn’t explode?”

So we rewrote.

We stripped out the automatic apologies and focused on:
• Facts: what happened.

• Impact: how it affected me.

• Boundaries: what I will and will not allow going forward.

The final version looked more like this (paraphrased to keep it Reddit‑friendly):
• “You put adult responsibilities on me that were never mine to carry.”

• “You used guilt, anger, and fear to control me.”

• “You expected me to give up my education and future to raise your children.”

• “Leaving was not abandoning you; it was protecting myself.”

• “I am choosing not to have contact with you while I focus on healing and building my life. If that ever changes, it will be on my terms, not under pressure.”

It was the first time I had ever written or said things that directly without padding them in apologies.

At first, I told my therapist I didn’t want to send it. The thought of opening that door terrified me. I was scared that:
• She’d guilt me back into contact.

• She’d twist my words and make me feel crazy again.

• She’d use the letter against me with my siblings.

We sat with that for a while. Eventually, I decided I did want her to know that I saw the pattern and I was consciously stepping out of it. I wanted a record—on paper—that I was drawing a line that I was done with her and her manipulation her guilty me her making me feel like I was responsible for her happiness, which I am done with and if that meant her cutting me off completely, I could tear less.

After about a month, I told my therapist I wanted to send it.

We printed and signed it. We put my therapist’s office as the return address, not my dad and Mom’s house. I kept a copy. My therapist kept a copy.

The act of sealing that envelope felt like drawing a boundary in ink instead of pencil.
——————

UPDATE 1 – Part 9: Life Giver’s Response & the Weaponized Letters

I wish I could say the life giver surprised me in a good way.

She didn’t.

She sent back what was basically a novella: four to five pages, front and back.

It hit all the classics:
• “I did my best.”

• “You’re remembering things wrong.”

• “You’re ungrateful.”

• “You’ve been brainwashed by your dad and his wife.”

• “You’re abandoning your family; your siblings need you.”

It twisted facts. It minimized what I’d gone through. It painted her as the long‑suffering victim of my “cruel decision.”

If it had just been that, I would have cried, taken it to therapy, and moved on. It still would’ve hurt, but I expected it.

What absolutely gutted me is what came with her letter:
She had made my younger siblings write letters to me too.

I had deliberately not written to them in that letter. I didn’t want to drag them into the middle of something they didn’t start and did not need to be involved with. I didn’t want them to feel forced to “pick a side.”

But life giver did exactly that.

The kids’ letters:
• Had their handwriting.

• But the phrases sounded like her voice.

• There were lines about me “leaving them behind,” “choosing my new family over them,” and “breaking [life giver]’s heart.”

I could feel her behind them, coaching, prompting, maybe even dictating parts.

Reading them felt like:
• Someone twisting a knife in every old guilt wound I had.

• Being 12 again, being told that if I didn’t help, I didn’t love them.

• Watching my siblings be pulled into the same emotional trap I had barely escaped.

I cried. A lot. I felt:
• Anger that she weaponized them that way.

• Guilt that I couldn’t protect them from her manipulating them.

• Heartbreak that they’re still in that environment.

• Relief and a horrible kind of confirmation that my therapist had been right—this was about control, not love.

We took all of it—the life giver’s letter and the kids’ letters— and talked about them in therapy.

My therapist helped me see:
• Those letters were not truly my siblings speaking freely. They were children trying to please the adult in front of them.

• The life giver was using them as tools to reel me back in.

• Responding would only open the door wider for more manipulation.

As much as it hurt, those letters actually solidified my decision.

I realized:

If I let this pull me back, nothing would change. I would slide right back into the same role, just older and more trapped.
——————

UPDATE 1 – Part 10: No Contact, Mixed Emotions, & Staying Firm

After that letter, I moved from “low contact” and “maybe later” to solid no contact with the life giver.

I:
• Blocked her number.

• Changed my phone number.

• Made sure she does not have my address.

• Do not respond to her emails or attempts to get to me through other people.

She tried going around me:
• Contacting my dad, pushing for my number or my school email.

• Reaching out to Aunt Mary to “just pass a message along.”

Both my dad and Aunt Mary shut that down. They told her that if I wanted contact, I would initiate it, and that pushing would only make things worse.

The only person on her side of the family I still have a relationship with is Aunt Mary.

How I feel about my siblings now:
I think about my siblings all the time.

I miss them. I love them. I feel guilty that I couldn’t scoop them up and take them with me. I worry they’re stepping into the roles I used to fill:
• The older ones raising the younger ones.

• The constant babysitting.

• The expectation that their lives will revolve around life giver’s choices.

At the same time, I’m learning to hold two truths at once:
• I cannot save them if I destroy myself going back.

• They may need time and distance, just like I did, to see the pattern for themselves.
My hope is that one day, when they’re older and have more autonomy, they’ll reach out. When and if that day comes, I’ll be there.

But until then, I have to accept that staying no contact with the life giver—even if it means distance from them for now—is what keeps me safe and able to build a life.
——————

UPDATE 1 – Part 11: Friends, Class Choices, & Healing in Small Ways

Outside the heavy family stuff, there has been a lot of quiet healing in my day‑to‑day life.

At Georgetown:
• I’m majoring in business with a focus on law and entrepreneurship/small business.

• I’m also taking some childhood and trauma‑related psychology/therapy courses, especially around toxic and abusive family systems.

Those classes have been…intense. On the one hand, they give me language for things I went through. On the other, I’ll be sitting in class thinking, “Oh. That’s my life in a slide deck.”

I’ve also built a really solid friend group. A few of them are psych majors, and we joke that I’m their unofficial “practice case” when they’re rehearsing interview or listening skills.

With my consent, they’ll say, “Okay, can I practice reflective listening on you?” and 10 minutes later we’re both like, “Wow, my childhood was a lot.”

The important part is: I’m not being judged. I’m not being told I’m selfish. I’m being listened to, with kindness.

I’m slowly learning what “normal” can look like when you’re not constantly in survival mode.
——————

UPDATE 1 – Part 12: The “Mom” Moment and Explaining Happy Tears

Now for one of the most important emotional beats: how Laurie became Mom. It didn’t happen overnight.

She never asked me to call her Mom. She never demanded I “replace” anyone. She just:
• Consistently showed up.

• Treated me with respect and care.

• Invested in my future.

• Listened.

• Gave me boundaries and choices, and respected mine instead of guilt and demands.

One afternoon not too long ago, we had one of those deceptively normal days:
• The twins were actually napping at the same time (a miracle).

• Henry and Jenna were at the table doing homework.

• I was at the counter, books open, working on a business assignment.

• Mom was nearby, helping me think through a scenario for class while prepping something for dinner.

I was tired and a little overwhelmed with school, work, and life in general. I went to ask her a question and, without thinking, said:

“Hey, Mom—”

We both froze.

It was like the word was hanging in the air between us.

Then we both just started crying. Not polite, dainty tears. Full, messy, “I have a lot of feelings and no tissues” crying.

The kids immediately went on high alert.
• “Are you okay?”

• “Who hurt you?”

• “Do we need to call Dad?”

We had to sit them down and explain:
• These were happy tears.

• Sometimes grown‑ups cry when they feel very loved, or safe, or relieved.

• Nothing bad had happened—in fact, something very good had.

I told them, in kid‑friendly terms, that:
• I had never really felt like I had a mom in the way they do.

• That I was really grateful that I had their Mom now.

• That saying “Mom” just slipped out because that’s what she is to me.

Mom hugged me and said I never had to apologize for calling her that, not now, not ever.

These days, I call her Mom most of the time. I still say “Laurie” sometimes in certain contexts, but in my head and in my heart, she’s Mom.
———

UPDATE 1 – Final Part (For Now): Aunt Mary Moves, Family Dinners, & a Conversation About Life Giver

This is the final part of Update 1. Thank you for sticking with me through all of this. I promise future updates will be shorter. Maybe. No guarantees.

Aunt Mary Moves East

One of the most unexpected and wonderful plot twists of this entire journey:

Aunt Mary moved to the Virginia area.

She had spent years traveling constantly for work, living out of hotel rooms and airport lounges. After everything that happened in Nevada, and after watching me settle into my new life, something shifted for her.

She told me later that coming to Virginia to visit me, meeting my dad, and seeing how I was doing made her realize she was tired of always being somewhere else. She had built a successful career and a substantial portfolio, and she had done it by being constantly in motion.

But she was also getting older. She wanted to be somewhere. She wanted to belong somewhere.
So she made the decision to put down roots.

She found a place not far from my dad and Mom’s house, wound down her heavy travel schedule, and transitioned to work she could manage more locally and remotely.

And just like that, the woman who helped me escape became part of my everyday life.

Aunt Mary & the kids

Nobody could have predicted how much Aunt Mary would fall for my little siblings.

She never pushed it. She didn’t arrive saying “I’m your cool aunt, love me.” She just showed up on Sunday evenings for family dinner, brought things (food, little gifts, her sharp sense of humor), and let the kids come to her on their own terms.

It didn’t take long.

Henry decided within three visits that Aunt Mary was “basically famous” because of how she talked about the places she’d traveled. He started asking her questions about every country she’d been to and grilling her about what the food tasted like.

Jenna, for her part, adopted Aunt Mary the way only a 5½‑year‑old can: by climbing into her lap uninvited, handing her a crayon, and announcing, “You’re drawing with me now.” Aunt Mary drew with her, my 57-year-old and sitting on the floor drawing.

Even the twins, still in the “small potato” phase of being babies, seemed to calm down around her. She has one of those low, steady voices that just works on babies.

Sunday family dinners became a thing. A real thing.
• Dad would grill or cook something big.

• Mom and I would handle sides and dessert, with “help” from the kids.

• Aunt Mary would bring something she’d picked up, usually something interesting, never just chips.

• We’d eat together at the big table, all of us, and it would be loud and warm and nothing like anything I’d experienced at life giver’s house.

Aunt Mary told me once, quietly, at the end of one of those dinners while the kids were chaotic in the background:

“This is what I always hoped for you. I just didn’t know how to get you here sooner.”

Aunt Mary’s heart to heart with Dad, Mom, and me

One Sunday, after dinner, after the younger kids were settled and the twins were down, the four of us sat together in the living room: me, Dad, Mom, and Aunt Mary.

It started casually. Dad had made coffee. Mom had a mug of tea. I had curled into the corner of the couch with a blanket because that is just who I am now.

But the energy shifted. Aunt Mary set her cup down and said:

“Can I just say something? To all of you? While we’re all here?”

Nobody objected.

She looked at my dad first.

Aunt Mary: “Leo, I want you to know that I don’t hold you responsible for what she went through in Nevada. I think you did what you thought was right within the custody arrangement. But I also want to say, on behalf of someone who watched it: she needed more from the adults in her life during that time. And I include myself in that. I could have acted sooner. I didn’t.”

My dad was quiet for a moment.

Dad: “I appreciate you saying that. Honestly. I’ve said the same thing to myself a hundred times. I didn’t ask enough questions. I thought she was okay because she was so capable. I mistook her competence for contentment.”

There was a beat.

Dad (continued): “That’s something I have to live with. And it’s something I’m trying to do differently now.”

Aunt Mary nodded, and then she looked at Mom.

Aunt Mary: “Laurie. I didn’t know you well before all of this. I knew of you, obviously. But watching how you’ve taken her in, not as a guest or as Leo’s daughter who needed somewhere to sleep, but as yours—that’s not something everyone does. That’s not even something most people could do. I want you to know that I see it.”

Mom set her tea down and her eyes went immediately glassy.

Mom: “She makes it easy. I know people always say that, but I mean it. She’s never once made it hard. She came in here willing to try, willing to trust, and I just tried to make sure she never regretted it.”

Aunt Mary: “She didn’t get that from nowhere. You built it with her.”

There was a moment where Mom and I were both trying very hard not to fully cry, because we are two people who apparently cry at the drop of a hat now, and we had already done it earlier that week over a dog food commercial, so we were trying to have some dignity.

It didn’t fully work.

Then Aunt Mary looked at me.

“And you.”

She took a breath.

Aunt Mary: “I have watched you since you were small. I watched you carry things no child should carry. I watched you smile when you were exhausted, apologize when you hadn’t done anything wrong, and shrink yourself smaller and smaller to try to make everyone around you more comfortable. I hated it every time and I didn’t do enough to stop it.”

I opened my mouth to say something but she held up a hand.

Aunt Mary: “Let me finish. I’m not telling you this for you to comfort me. I’m saying it because I want you to hear it clearly: what you did took courage that most adults don’t have. You planned. You protected yourself. You walked out of a situation that was slowly eating you alive. And you did it without bitterness, without falling apart, and without taking it out on everyone around you. You landed, and you grew.”

She gestured around at the living room, at the drawings on the fridge, at the dry erase board propped by the hallway, at Mom.

Aunt Mary: “This is not luck. This is the result of who you are and what you built. I am so proud of you it actually makes me angry at myself for not doing more sooner.”

I was absolutely not holding it together. Neither was anyone else.

“You did enough. You came when it mattered. You put yourself between me and her and told her no. Nobody had ever done that before.”

Aunt Mary: “I should have done it years earlier.”

“Maybe. But you did it when I needed it most. And you’re here now. That counts for everything.”

My dad reached over and squeezed my hand.

Dad: “For what it’s worth—to both of you—I’m glad she has you. I’m glad we all have each other.”

Mom raised her tea mug slightly like a toast. The rest of us did the same with whatever we were holding, and that was that. No big dramatic declaration. Just four people at the end of a Sunday, quietly choosing to be a family.

Conversation about life giver

A few weeks after that dinner, Aunt Mary and I were alone together. We were out for coffee, just the two of us, one of the things we do whenever we both have time.

She mentioned, carefully and with good intentions, something about life giver. What was happening at the house. How things had gotten worse. How the younger kids were struggling.

I listened for a moment.

Then I took a breath and said “Can I stop you for a second?”

Aunt Mary: “Of course.”

“I love you. And I know you’re telling me because you care about me and because you’re worried and because you think I should know. But I need to be honest with you about something.”

Aunt Mary: “Okay.”

“Every time I hear about what’s happening there, I spiral. Not for a few minutes. For days. I start going back through every decision I made, asking myself if I should have stayed, if I should have tried harder, if leaving made things worse for them. And then I have to climb back out of that spiral and remember all over again why I left and why that was right.”

Aunt Mary was listening carefully, not interrupting.

“I can’t keep doing that to myself. I’m in therapy, I’m healing, I’m finally building something. And every time that door opens, even just a crack, it sets me back. Not because I don’t love them. I love them so much it hurts constantly. But for my own mental health, I know that I need her to never ever be a part of my life ever again.”

There was a pause.

Aunt Mary: “You’re setting a boundary with me.”

It wasn’t accusatory. She said it like she was naming it gently, checking that she understood.

“Yes. I’m trying to. I’m not angry at you. I know you don’t bring it up to hurt me. But I need you to know that it does because I know back in Nevada there is another child in that home doing what I escaped from having to do, even when you don’t mean it to. And I’d rather tell you directly than resent you later for something you didn’t know was affecting me.”

Aunt Mary was quiet for a long moment. She looked at her coffee cup.

Then she looked up.

Aunt Mary: “You know what just happened?”

“What?”

Aunt Mary: “Six months ago, you would never have said that. Not to me, not to anyone. You would have sat there, listened, nodded, gone home, and suffered quietly so I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.”

I hadn’t really thought about it that way.

Aunt Mary (continued): “The fact that you just sat across from me and said, clearly and kindly, ‘I need you to stop doing this thing, and here is why’—that is not a small thing. That is an enormous thing. And I am not going to pretend it isn’t.”

She reached across the table and put her hand over mine.

Aunt Mary: “I will respect that completely. And I want you to know: this is the last time I will bring up my sister to you unless you come to me first. Not because I’m hurt. Not because I’m offended. But because you just told me clearly what you need and you deserve to have that respected.”

“Thank you.”

Aunt Mary: “Don’t thank me. This is the bare minimum of what you deserve.”

She squeezed my hand.

Aunt Mary: “Also, for the record? I’m a little emotional right now because you just did in five minutes what took me about thirty years to learn how to do. I also want you to know that I went low contact with her.”

We both laughed. We were also both crying a little. We are a family of people who cry at coffee shops now, apparently.

“Therapy is doing work.”

Aunt Mary: “Clearly. Give your therapist a raise.”
———

Where I am now

Looking at my life today compared to a year and a half ago:
• I have a father who shows up, owns his mistakes, and is actively in my corner.

• I have a Mom who chose me and keeps choosing me every single day.

• I have siblings I adore, who write me dry erase board notes and “help” with my homework and bring me snacks when I’m studying so I don’t forget to eat.

• I have Aunt Mary, who fought for me, moved closer, sits at my Sunday dinner table, and respects my boundaries.

• I have friends who actually listen.

• I have a school I’m proud of and a business I’m building.

• I have a therapist who has helped me go from someone who apologized for existing to someone who can sit across from someone she loves and say, “I need this. Please respect it.”

I still feel grief for my younger siblings. I still hope that one day, when they’re older and ready, they’ll find their way out and find their way to me. I will be here when they do.

But I am not the girl who packed a battered laptop and a few documents and prayed no one would stop her at the gate anymore.
I am someone who is, for the first time in her life, genuinely okay.

And honestly? That still catches me off guard sometimes in the best possible way.
———

Thank you to everyone who has followed along. Updates to follow as life continues to happen.

Hey fellow waffles🧇.

Disclosures to get out of the way: against my better judgement I’m doing this on my main instead of a throwaway but on a subreddit I actually trust. I’m going to be super embarrassed if he finds this so hopefully I get enough advice to put my mind at ease. Please waffles, I trust you to temporarily turn off your suspicious Reddit brains until you’ve read the entire post, as I promise my guy is a good egg. I am writing this on mobile so sorry for formatting issues.

My partner is physically attracted to a lady who works at the gym that he and I go to (he pays both of our memberships, if that matters). Ngl, I also find her attractive, but I get the feeling she’s straight. I noticed he blushes and gets a bit more talkative when he talks to her. I have had a fairly decent glow up over the past year and am not nearly as insecure as I used to be, but there have been a few times when I would jokingly say “your gym-girlfriend was working the front desk today, she says hi, lol” to my partner when I got home from a workout. He, being a good sport, jokingly calls her “our girlfriend” to tease me back. Neither of us know her name (we are too socially awkward to ask) so he says that as a joke.

Apparently she asks him about me once in a while and she has said hi to me once or twice so I am sure she knows who I am and my relationship to my partner.

She’s friendly in that customer service kind of way when she works the front desk. We haven’t really had any conversations. I trust my partner and I trust his boundaries, but can y’all blame me for getting a funny feeling when I see her, idk?

I joined this gym to take specific group-workout classes (and my partner pays extra for me to do this). There is a specific class I would take once a week that’s my favourite class, but the instructor (who I often stay after class to chat with) is going on leave for like a year (happy to live in a country that actually gives a humane amount of maternity leave but I’m gonna miss that gal, she’s great!).

About a week ago, my partner came back from the gym and mentioned that he had a friendly chat with “our girlfriend” at the gym and guess who’s getting promoted from front desk to instructor of my favourite group class while the instructor is on maternity leave? Yuppp…

Idk how to feel about this, possums. The class is only taught at my gym location and I don’t want to give it up but I feel strange. I really wanted to get advice specifically because I’ve heard a lot of stories on the channel from the other woman’s perspective of “this guy likes me and it feels like his gf hates me…” and I don’t wanna come off that way or make her uncomfortable. I’ll admit I’m still a bit insecure about my ability to perform in this particular class and if you’ve ever been a beginner at Pilates/yoga, you know the body type and flexibility of the instructors.

I also want to be clear, I trust my partner and his boundaries and frankly, I’m not worried about ‘losing’ him to this woman. We are very secure in our relationship. And I don’t want to hear “emotional affair” accusations in the comments. They only interact at the gym for a couple of minutes at a time. People are going to be attracted to other people and that’s life. My guy is a good egg and we have a goofy sense of humour.

What should I do about this class though?

Thanks

So, I know that you like neighbor drama, so im going to share a current one with you.

My neighbor "Jeff" and I are the neighbors that you want. We help anyone with anything if they ask. We both have 16' trailers. They are always parked in front of our houses. Pretty much any neighbor we have knows that they can use them if they ask. Jeff's across the street neighbor decided to sell his house. Enter Douchey McDouchebag, the real estate agent. He decided that our trailers make the street look trashy and will stop the house from selling. Now, he could have asked us to move them, but nope. He called the cops on us. Cops said they have to be moved. Jeff and I both work for companies that supply LARGE company trucks. They allow us to bring them home. So we took our trailers to our respective jobs, and brought home the trucks. Jeff parked his right across from the driveway of the house for sell. We are also both working on classic cars. Both are now on the street. Dude wants trashy, we can do trashy. All this could be have been avoided with a simple conversation.

TW: Abvse, SA, Svicide

(English is not my fist language)

This is going to be a long one… To understand the whole story i need to tell you about my relationship before my now boyfriend.

I was in a 5 year relationship from age 15-20 and with my ex who was 18-23. I ended the relationship in november 2024. There are so many reasons i ended the relationship with him. I paid everything for him - his living, bills, food, a car, his drivers license, gas, clothing, his hobbies ect. Just because he was broke or jobless and i didn‘t want him to mis out. In exchance he lied to me and did so many things to hurt me. So i ended the relationship. Because we got together when i was so young, i kinda had an existentcial crisis. I didn‘t know who i was and had nobody because he didn‘t allow me to go out with female friends. So after the break up i confide in a female workfriend. She told me that after her break up with her ex she texted him through many diffrent fake accounts to prank him. She said it helped her a lot with getting over it. So i asked if i could have access to one of her fake accounts. I texted my ex for a while but after a few days i felt childish and silly so i stopped, but didn‘t delet the account from my phone. I didn‘t know why i did it. I hated him and didn‘t really care about him. Maybe i wanted to hurt him like he hurt me, idk. For the timeline: i started and stopped to text him in april 2025

I met my now boyfriend in june 2025 so over a half year after my break up. When we began dating, everything was perfect. I saw a few redflags but ignored them. Like he got angry easily but in the beginnig he was never angry at me. After being together for 2 weeks he saw this other account and the chat with my ex. He didn‘t open the chat but there was a message send the day before. My workfriend texted my ex after i stopped but i didn‘t knew that. My boyfriend obviously thought it was me still texting with him. Which i understand why he would think that but i wasn‘t. At the time i stopped to text my ex with this fake account i didn‘t even know my now boyfriend. He got so angry and sad but decided to stay with me because he loved me so much. But from this moment on he never believed me anything i sais or did. I said sorry so many times. To understand what i mean by that here are e few exempels.

1. ⁠My boyfriend lives 200km away from me. He asked me where my ex lives now after we broke up. I said i didn‘t know. Maybe by his grandmother which lives in the same city as me. We can call it city-a. Then he asked me where his parents live. I said his mother lived in city-b and his father lived in city-c. He asked me multiple times days after this conversation and i always gave the same answer: I don’t know- maybe he lives with his grandmother i city-a.

A few months later he told me i lied about the living situation of my ex. He said everytime he asked me that question i gave him a diffrent answer. I said that is not correct my answer is always the same. I don‘t know and i don‘t care about the location of my ex. A year later he still says i‘m lying.

2. He thinks i call my ex to come over when he is not around. Thats not true, he has no reason to think that.

3. He thinks i still text with him. Which is not true. He searched my phone and didn‘t find anything.

4. He doesn‘t think that i told the truth about my relationship with my ex. He doesen‘t believe i broke up with my ex and he doesn’t believe my reasons for the breakup.

He also started to treat my diffrently. When we go out together i‘m not allowed to look sad or unhappy, but i‘m not allowed to smile at people or look at them. I‘m not allowed to look at the floor either. I need to walk i front of him but i can‘t walk to slow or to fast. I‘m not allowed to stop walking or to look back to see where he is, but if i don‘t realise he stopped walking he gets angry. I can‘t do anything right.

When i cook for us he tells me how good it is and a few days later he tells me he hated it. So i stopped cooking and that made him angry.

I have two bathrooms in my appartment he uses manly the small bathroom and i use the big one. He showered and and threw the dirty towl in the basket. The next day he wanted to shower while i was at work and there was no towl because he threw it in the basket. I didn‘t realise there was no towl because i didn‘t use this bathroom in the mean time. Now he stood there completely wet and no towl. He texted me at work called me names till i cried at work. In my lunch break he called me and screamed at me my whole lunch break.

One time we fightet and i felt dizzy all of a sudden and hit my head really bad. I had a concussion after that and tried to crawl to bed because i didn‘t feel well and he wouldn‘t stopp screaming at me while i was on the floor crying and trying to help myself.

One time we had a fight and he screamed so loud and called me names and threw my things around the appartment till my neighbors ringed the bell to see if i‘m ok. He was so mad at me because of this.

He called me dumd, a slvt, a useless wh*re and many other things. He said i understood why my parents physically and mentally hurt me while i was a child and why they wanted me to unalive myself.

I told him, that i was SA‘d two times. First time with 8 years old and the second time with 20 years old. He told me that it‘s my own fault and i‘m a slut because of that. But besides the two times i got SA‘d i only slept with my ex and him. He has a bodycount of over 50 women…

That was my life for the past year and i think i‘m going insane.

In his opinion it‘s okay to treat me this way because i cheated on him. I know it was shitty and childish of me to texted my ex. I know i‘m wrong for that, but do i really deserve this?

Some context: me and [name] have been friends for 11 years. I love her, I genuinely do, but she has this thing where she needs to be the center of attention in every room she's in. Most of the time I just let it go because it's not worth the fight and she doesn't even realize she's doing it. Last year for my 29th birthday I organized a small dinner, maybe 12 people, a restaurant I'd wanted to try for months. Within 20 minutes of sitting down she announced to the table that she and her boyfriend had just gotten engaged. Full ring presentation, crying, everyone's phones out, the whole thing. I want to be clear - I don't think she planned it to ruin my night. But she'd been engaged for 4 days at that point and specifically chose that moment. The rest of the dinner was entirely about her. I smiled and hugged her and went home and cried in my car. This year I'm turning 30 and I've been planning something actually special for months. When she asked about it I told her honestly that I wasn't inviting her this time, that I needed one night that stayed mine, and that we could celebrate together separately another time. She called me jealous and toxic and has been telling our mutual friends I'm "punishing her for being happy." I don't think that's what I'm doing. But now I'm second guessing myself. AITA?