u/platform-boots

This might be a bit of a long post. I know I’m probably the a-hole because when it boils down to it, my mom is a forgetful, sweet, older lady and we do have fun when she’s in the right mood. She’s also been mildly abusive to me.

For example, she didn’t protect me from my dad (who was abusive in every possible way including the worst), or from her boyfriend who I don’t interact with but he withheld food from me, excluded me from activities and physically abused me. He has a bad head injury and so does my mom so I’ve spent most of my life supporting myself and staying as far out of their way as possible. I bought my own food starting at 13 and she finally started supporting me again at 16 but I still had to pay for all (required) field trips, my college, clothing, self care, gas to get places, and when I move to go to university she isn’t going to help me at all. She is paying my rent right now because we lived in a trailer and I had no space at all. (I’m living in a dorm at my community college).

I have many, many health issues and chronic illness. she forces me to stay with the same doctor who dismisses it and I’m just now stating to get treatment. Before, we lived in a rural area and I had no support system around me. I couldn’t get a drivers licenses, she won’t let me have my medical documents.

It’s all starting to get a bit better. I have friends, a boyfriend, and people who support me, but always in the background. Sometimes she picks me up and we go for lunch, and sometimes she’s screaming at me because I asked her to stop bringing me more things from home when I live in a tiny dorm. Yesterday I asked her for ONE HAT. She brought me FOUR. She gives me medicine that’s not even prescribed to me, ai generated self help books, anything she can offload onto me. She has been stealing my things for years, my clothes go missing or she moves something. An example:

Me: Mom did you move my scarf?

Her: no.

Me: did you move the box it was in?

Her: Yes.

I have to word things exactly. I can’t give her back the stuff I want her to take back or she’ll throw them out or lose them. She cleans and rearranges compulscurly. I strongly suspect she has OCD on top of the head injury. She blames me for the head injury but that’s another story.

I am exhausted. To everyone else, I’m an ungrateful child. I survived all of that and she insists it thanks to her, but I don’t know how to tell her I survived her too. She has two other kids, much older than me, who she treats like they can do no wrong. I love my brothers and they’re family but I hate being compared to them.

Theres so much more I could go into, but I basically don’t see my mom as a mom in the traditional sense. She isn’t a pancakes in bed or flowers kind of mom. She tears me down more often than not and everything I’ve done to make gifts for her, she doesnt like. I think she’d be happy doing something with her other kids and I simply don’t feel like celebrating someone who has caused me harm.

edit: I am disabled. I am trying to cut contact with my mom but that’s impossible right now for a few reasons. So please be kind to me when I say I can’t cut contact right now. If anyone’s curious I have Autism, ADHD, anxiety, CPTSD, depression, suspected POTS, and hypermobility which makes it difficult for me to do things like making appointments and getting myself around. I also don’t own a car. I’m trying my best, but while I can do things on my own, and have for most of my life, it takes me a lot longer than someone normally would.

One of my best friends is going to have a kid

AITAH for telling my mom I don’t want to do Mother’s Day because I don’t see her as my mom.

Girls help! I accidentally put on too much perfume