u/pickpopi

I live in a predominantly white town and go to a pwi so 95% of the dating pool is white.

I don’t want to spend my 20s lonely so I’ve been dating white women and to no surprise there’s usually some kind of micro aggression or fetishization and it makes me realize how i’m seen as black before anything

My most recent “talking stage” left me feeling absolutely horrible. Things were going really well until she randomly told me she had always dreamt of marrying a black woman after her last “ex situation-ship” and said “ once you go black, you never go back”

I felt odd and just told her i hoped she didn’t mean it in a fetish way and she said she didn’t. THEN i don’t know if it was out of guilt but she told me to be patient with her if she ever says anything unintentionally racist in the future and i was like ???

She proceeded to give me an example. 2 years ago she saw a really dark person for the first time and thought it was a person dressed up as a monkey because she didn’t know “we could be that dark” then she told me she cried after if that makes me feel better

I tried to not react harshly and told her it was good she recognized that was wrong but she needs to educate herself and she said she would like for someone to show her what to do

I ended up ending things and explained to her that I can’t teach her how to date a black person and she begged me to give her another chance and that she would read books and do research but I don’t know if i should give her a chance?? idk man

I never noticed how often i cook until i started living with roommates. These people eat once a day and they eat something like toast or takeout but I was raised on cooked food and do NOT have the money to eat out everyday so I cook🤷🏾‍♀️

They've never explicitly said anything except the weird racist one but i never took it to heart (she said everywhere stunk when i fried a flipping egg) but the others do hint that they're not used to the smell of someone cooking by opening the window or sighing when i start cooking.

You guys I don't even cook anything crazy fr, mostly jollof spag/rice, ramen or rice and stew. Mind you ofada is my favorite food but i've held myself back because even i know it's stinky.

Idk have other people of color experienced similar things?

[two of my roommates are poc and one is white]

I never noticed how often i cook until i started living with roommates. These people eat once a day and they eat something like toast or takeout but I was raised on cooked food and do NOT have the money to eat out everyday so I cook 🤷🏾‍♀️

They’ve never explicitly said anything except the weird racist one but i never took it to heart (she said everywhere stunk when i fried a flipping egg) but the others do hint that they’re not used to the smell of someone cooking by opening the window or sighing when i start cooking.

You guys I don’t even cook anything crazy fr, mostly jollof spag/rice, ramen or rice and stew. Mind you ofada is my favorite food but i’ve held myself back because even i know it’s stinky.

Idk have other people of color experienced similar things?

[ two of my roommates are poc and one is white]

I don’t think i’ve ever owned a properly fitted bra (even when i got measured in person). I tried the online bra calculator and was a 34 J so i bought a push up bra online from shapedly. The band was very comfortable for once but there was spillage.

So i’m guessing I need to try a 34 K bra? but the problem is I can’t find any bras that go up to that size and have many hooks for back fat support lol

ps: I used to think i was a 36 DD T-T