u/mime_juice

I am thinking about going to Bologna for an intensive language course from May to July. I have a few questions.

I know the town is a university town. I'm 37F. Just wondering if it's very young there-is it like a 20s culture or is that just a small aspect of the city?

Is Bologna a viable place to use as a home base to see some other cities in Europe-ie is the airport accessible enough and the flights frequent enough to see say Prague, Vienna etc.

How do you find accommodation for this length of time? Is airbnb the only way-it seems very expensive. What is a normal rent for this area. Dates May 1-July 12.

How easy is it to get around with English as your first language. I have basically zero Italian.

What is the nightlife like in the city-does it all close early or is it pretty lively?

Is this a good time of year to go?

Anything else I should know?

Thank you in advance!

I had Invisalign for a year. I’m not done but I’m waiting for a new set of trays.

My masseters are absolutely huge compared to what they used to be. I remember feeling them before and the muscle barely being palpable and kind of having a circular shape. Now it feels like it’s got two lumps and is absolutely hulking.

I can see the face change from it-more squared and puffier in the lower half.

I’m concerned because my jaw is quite small normally and I’ve always been a. Tiny bit jowelly even in my 20s. I’m afraid to get more jowelly but I wasn’t before Invisalign really.

Any insight? Also how many units do you get. I’m a Botox virgin.

https://www.reddit.com/r/benzorecovery/comments/1smnhhj/my_zopiclone_recovery_story/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Here's part 1 of how I became dependent on zopiclone. I left off that I had just arrived at rehab.

Trigger warning for suicidal ideation.

Now, I want to mention here that I know that rehab is not recommended for benzodiazepine withdrawal because what they usually do is either snatch you off cold turkey or cross you over to a long acting like valium or phenobarbital and detox you fast, but I did make sure to speak with the doctor and agree to do a slow taper in order to ensure that I would at minimum take 12 weeks. Now-did I think I would be able to do it in 12 weeks? Unlikely. But since I was basically bedridden and my psychiatrist was offering no help and even the smallest of tapers alone at home was not working, I thought the group and supportive setting of rehab might at least help.

A day after I arrived, my boyfriend was gone and I was left alone. There were only 5 people total in the rehab at this time, two people recovering from alcohol-one middle aged woman from Ireland and one Syrian guy from Wisconsin, a young Paris Hilton type from Yorkshire and a couple of people I don't really remember now who left shortly after.

I was in Spain so half the staff were Spanish and half were from the UK as the owner was British. One thing that struck me was that everyone was really nice and kind. We had set meal times and because I was struggling with eating, I would sometimes delay going down to dinner until after the food was being removed and someone would come to my room and bring me dinner or ask if I wanted to come down. In the beginning, I was still having repeated panic attacks, so I was spending alot of time on my phone in my room and isolating. I wasn't in a very different state than when I was at home and I was struggling to get through each day. I looked forward to going down and getting my pill each night and finally having a bit of relief.

The doctor I spoke to wasn't there when I first got there and the one who was was this incredibly stiff and miserable German woman with no bedside manner. She was obsessed with Accupuncture and osteopathic manipulation both of which I let her do on me in the first week as I was willing to do anything. Neither one helped and that was mostly because she was an idiot and I disliked her. Between her and the other doctor, they wanted to do a blind taper for me where I would not know how much the dose was being reduced. I hated this idea but also felt like it might be good for me and so, I agreed, but every time I asked if they had started the reductions, they refused to tell me. The other doctor was supposed to be back the following week.

I was assigned a therapist who had just arrived that day from the UK. He turned out to be a nice guy and a decent therapist and I had therapy 3 times a week. I expressed my chagrin with this doctor to him and he agreed. I also kept telling the owner that I didn't sign up to be treated by this doctor and he was somewhat sympathetic. I eventually found out that they made zero dose reductions in the first week and I was really irritated. I was wasting money just hanging around doing basically nothing.

My symptoms continued to be unbearable-every time I ate, I would go through a cycle of increasing anxiety until the one hour mark when I would have head burning, burning between my shoulder blades, intense panic, burning in my skin etc. I tried everything I could just to survive it and I would try to spend time with people in the outdoor area etc. I remember going to group one morning and crying my eyes out because I felt so hopeless that anything was going to change and totally debilitated. Still the weather was nice and the staff were lovely. More than once I walked out into the common area and just started crying with the receptionist, the nurse, the support workers and they were supportive and kind. I had also met a woman online who had made some YouTube videos of her zopiclone withdrawal where she had many of the same symptoms as me. I reached out to her on Facebook and she told me it had taken her like 18 months to get off it, but that she made it and that she was doing great. She was super supportive both before and during my stay in rehab. I would voice message her on Facebook and she would message me back within 24 hours. I had actually come across her zopiclone posts on reddit too.

The following week the doctor I liked came back and felt alot more comfortable. He was also a bit patronizing though and everyone was kinda incredulous about my symptoms in that they didn't really believe I was going through this but felt it was all in my head. I have to say I had reached a point where my anxiety and OCD was so high that I had gone a bit nuts. I was monitoring my body every second and had gotten into a cycle of paying way too much attention to all my physical symptoms especially around meal times. I remember at some point during the first week taking a two hour shower and absolutely wailing and planning out my suicide. I was quite suicidal for a majority of my first few weeks there and honestly they were not vigilant enough about razor blades etc. despite checking my baggage when I arrived.

Over the next few weeks I would do my best to get through the days. I participated in some activities, but if we stayed out too long I would get super exhausted and just want to be home. I never went out or did anything in the evenings really. I would just retire to my bedroom.

One thing that was both challenging and fun about rehab was the revolving door of people coming in. All sorts of interesting and successful people, some people dependent on their parents and family for everything and some people who were unbelievably successful business people. One guy came in who was super racist to me and an asshole to everyone else. They were mostly really nice but it was interesting to see how they fell into addiction, who you could see would relapse and who would be more likely to succeed. A few weeks a guy came in who would become my good friend-a fellow American who came from Nigeria.

The daily schedule was wake up, walk on the beach, come home have breakfast, go to processing group, yoga or pilates, a free hour or two, go to lunch, go to daily workshop then chill out until the evening when they would take us to a variety of meetings-cocaine anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous etc. I went to these meetings though I've never actually struggled with addiction. They were interesting sometimes and boring others. The coke addicts were more fun than the alcoholics lol. On the weekends we would do a variety of excursions-butterfly farm, more walks on the beach, padel, trips to different towns. A few weeks in, I felt well enough to start weightlifting and so I would get taken to the gym instead of the walk in the morning. That really helped me and I really enjoyed that space in the morning away from everyone just me and the owner. I also asked if I could go out to Spanish lessons twice a week that one of the support workers was doing and they let me do that, so that really helped too-to go out and feel a bit more normal and get out of the cabin fever.

I don't remember exactly when things started to get easier for me-I remember my symptoms getting slightly better over time, I would react less to food. I couldn't tolerate any meds at all, but the doctor suggested I try clonidine which really helped with taking down some of the intensity and also helped me to sleep. During this whole time, I slept about 4 hours a night but somehow being surrounded by people and having such a strict routine and making some closer friends helped me to survive it. My thyroid levels were totally fucked during this whole experience too. I think I wasn't absorbing them very well due to the withdrawal and what it was doing to my GI system so the dose I normally would take just wasn't enough.

There was also alot of drama in the center. The therapists were all a bit off and obviously addicts come with their own problems. The better I felt, the more this drama started to affect me because it was easier for me to be in contact with the rest of the world rather than just my own despair.

Periodically my boyfriend would come to visit and I would leave the center with him and we visited some of the cities around the center. It was nice to get out of the center for that too.

Towards the end of my time there, I started to feel alot better. In the last few weeks I started to think about what I wanted to do when I left the center. I had always been interested in acting and performance but I couldn't do it because of the intense job I was in. I started to think about where I could go to study some of that after I was discharged. I thought maybe London, but it was still really cold there, so I thought maybe LA.

Around the end of my time there, I started to feel like I wanted to leave a bit early. Conflict with the therapists and the way they were treating my friend made me feel like it wasn't a super welcoming environment anymore. I asked them if I was finished my taper and everyone was a bit evasive and said they wanted me to wait to speak to the doctor.

He arrived the next night and we went to a room to speak. It was now December 7th or thereabouts and he revealed to me that I had finished my taper on November 25th. He told me that when I started to tolerate it and they had felt like I was doing ok, they sped the taper up and dropped like 2mg per week I think. I wasn't sure how I felt about that as it wasn't really necessary and I could have gone a bit slower, especially since I'd lost a week at the beginning, but at the end of the day, they had achieved the impossible and gotten me off the drug in a way I wasn't expecting I ever could.

I spent the next month near the center in an airbnb as my friend was staying too. We took a trip to Rome together with my boyfriend and brother which was amazing. I don't usually tolerate travel very well, but I handled it just fine. From there I went back to Spain for a bit and then went to Ireland for a wedding. From there I went to LA and spent 3 months there doing an intensive acting school. From there I went to Philadelphia for a week and then came home to the Caribbean.

Overall now, looking back, it's kind of amazing I made it through all that. I really came so close to killing myself and I was absolutely bedridden for a long time. Just having the support around me and the change of scenery did so much for me.

I still struggle with depression and anxiety which I think is probably a bit worse than when I was on the drug. I really struggle to focus and concentrate, but now I sleep with only a tiny dose of clonidine and I don't have to worry about going into withdrawal every day or having panic attacks after every meal. I still have some visual snow and derealization but it's nowhere near as bad as it was before.

Reading alot on these forums really helped me in many ways, but it also drove my intense obsession. I'll never know how much of it was physical and how much of it was psychosomatic. I think I did the best I could but at the same time, I think I could have helped myself by not diving so deep into everything and becoming so obsessed, but also it's really hard to do that when you're in such an amplified state.

Wishing everyone the absolute best. I know zopiclone is not as intense as some of the benzos, but I hope I give a little hope to someone out there.

I’m having a bit of a hard time lately and feeling quite isolated and absolutely glued to my phone. Anything that’s not scrolling social media is a benefit so I’m wondering if anyone has a place where they journal online and others read it and exchange thoughts?

Also is anyone interested in a WhatsApp group to share daily life just like a group of maybe 6 of us late 30s to just encourage each other and share emotional life etc.

I’m 37f based in the Caribbean right now but mostly America childless work in medicine but not working right now interested in travel, performance, working out but happy to support others in whatever they are interested in.

I need to go somewhere where it’s warm enough to go outside every day and where there is enough life that I have people to be around because otherwise I get depressed.

I’m thinking about Bali? That’s cliche but cliches exist for a reason. But I could go anywhere.

Give me your suggestions/ experiences.

It’s been 143 days since I got off zopiclone. 15mg at my highest for 3 years total. I’m struggling with depression and anxiety. It’s very hard to motivate. It’s very hard to do anything really. My constant low level tension makes it hard to be at ease in relationships. I have some sexual dysfunction. I know I haven’t hit six months yet. I thought I would be better by now.