u/iAzaria

okay i am in dire need of support and help. im gonna try to make this as short and sweet as possible. context:

i am f22, had identified as lesbian since 18. my first ever attraction was to girls. i didnt ever have attraction towards men until highschool, age 15. i dated both boys and girls throughout high school. at 18, i realized i was completely lesbian. i didn’t enjoy sex with men and i already knew i was completely attracted to women. i had two serious relationships with women these last 4 years. absolutely no attraction to men during this time.

i got out of a 2 year relationship in october. started seeing a new girl last month. everything was going well and then.. a man.

basically i met this dude 29M at the bar and we really hit it off, as homies i thought at first. long story short, i started to realize this weird chemistry between us. we end up hanging out a couple days later, and we kiss. we continue to hangout, and we end up doing the deed.

so my whole point with this post i guess is.. i am so beyond confused and like basically freaking out. i have been a lesbian and genuinely thought i couldn’t even have these feelings towards a man. i believed my high school experiments with boys were just like.. comphet. and i still believe that honestly. but this is not comphet.

is sexuality really that fluid and unpredictable? i thought i was born as a lesbian but now my whole world has been flipped upside down. my friends keep telling me i need to just let it go and its not that serious, “labels dont matter”. so what the hell?

important note: i’ve been trying to look at other men now and like.. im not feeling it. it’s literally JUST this dude. i still am overwhelmingly attracted to women way more. am i bisexual? am i pan? do i even bother trying to find a label?

hi so, im f22. a little backstory here, you can skip if you want: i was diagnosed at 18. became medicated at 19. i was on lamotrigine for 2 years until it stopped working. they put me on abilify alongside the lamotrigine and it worked wonders for a while. i had some issues with a cocaine addiction for about a year. stopped taking both lamotrigine and abilify. checked myself in after a month or so of being unmedicated and doing cocaine. they switched up all my meds entirely. put me on lithium, risperidone, and trazodone occasionally. i did that combo for about a month and a half. i was so tired of all the pills that i basically just stopped. (not healthy to quit cold turkey i know).

present day, ive been clean off cocaine and unmedicated. i started actually getting good routine sleep, eating healthier, and exercising. i’ve found that all of this has helped tremendously and i’ve been off meds for like 2ish months now with virtually no issues. of course i still have episodes but they’re very minor and dont give me much trouble. only recently i’ve been in a pretty intense hypomania for the first time since being unmedicated. admittedly, ive been drinking more often than previously and not keeping up with good sleep, diet, and exercise.

i guess my point/question is.. have any of you had a successful experience with managing your bipolar without meds? i know it can be lowkey dangerous to not be on meds but it really has been working for me until i started falling into old habits. lastly, do any of you struggle with addiction/substance abuse?

so i’m a gemini (F22). do any other female geminis have a pattern of attracting leo’s in a romantic/relationship sense? the last 3 people i’ve been involved with have all been leo’s. two girls and more recently a guy. i don’t particularly like leo’s because i find that they all can be a little arrogant, both men and women. none of these relationships i’ve had with leo’s have been healthy or ended well. so why do i keep attracting them? i guess i just want to see if anyone can relate or maybe even explain this cosmic attraction some gemini’s may have to leos. am i missing something important?