u/halfnelson86

Like it's not just boring. It's physically uncomfortable. My brain is sitting there going "this is meaningless, go deeper, why aren't we going deeper" while my mouth is saying "yeah the weather has been crazy lately."

I've spent my whole life feeling like I was too much for people. Too intense, too fast, too honest too soon and so I learned to mask it and stay surface level and then wondered why I felt lonely even when I was surrounded by people I liked.

I ended up building something around this. It's a craft kit where you bedazzle a pill bottle (yes really, a literal pill bottle 💊) while working through a guided conversation card designed to actually go somewhere real. The craft keeps your hands busy so your brain can actually settle into the conversation. You also don't have to worry about eye contact. It works embarrassingly well.

Anyway, does anyone else feel like they're starving for depth in their friendships?

Like I genuinely like the people in my life. But somewhere along the way the skill of going deeper just atrophied.

You get into patterns with people. You talk about the same things. Someone asks how you are and you say fine and they say fine and you both move on. And it's not that either of you doesn't care, it's more like nobody knows how to break the pattern.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. The vulnerability muscle feels weak from disuse. Like even when I want to go deeper I don't know how to get there without it feeling forced or weird or making it a whole thing.

Has anyone found anything that actually helps? Not therapy, just in regular friendships?

Does anyone else have people in their life they genuinely like but never actually go deep with? Like you've known someone for two years and somehow you still only talk about schedules and kids and surface stuff?

I've been thinking about this a lot. I moved to a new state two years ago with a 3 year old and pregnant with my second. We moved knowing we were putting down roots (bought a house and everything) so I did all I could do plug in. Went to book clubs, said yes to every invite, intentionally put myself out there. And while I've made friends, I've found it hard to go much deeper than surface level, with limited time with a full time job and two small kids.

I did all I could but still felt like maybe I missed my window for real friends. Other women I talked to expressed the same feeling, like it's hard to connect even after years of dinners and paint nights and happy hours or whatever.

So I built something to help.

It's called the Sparkle & Spill Kit. You bedazzle a pill bottle (I know, stay with me) and use a structured conversation card designed to actually get past the small talk. Everything you need for a real girls night with no planning, no pressure, no forced sharing.

It's a little ridiculous. That's exactly the point.

I've hosted some local events and women have really loved it. I'm hoping it can help out other lonely people go deeper with the ladies they love.

DM me or comment if you're curious. I really want to help women connect with each other beyond small talk. It's rough out there and we deserve real, deep friendships.

Like you've known someone for two years and somehow you still only talk about schedules, kids, and surface stuff. You genuinely like them. You just never actually... get there.

I've been thinking about this a lot. I'm a local to OP (moved here from Washington state two years ago), and I ended up building something around this exact feeling.

I'm hosting a small event in Overland Park on May 21st. You bedazzle a pill bottle (I know, stay with me) and have a structured conversation designed to actually get past the small talk. Happy hour pricing at a local bar. 16 spots only.

It's a little ridiculous. That's exactly the point.

Drop a comment if you want the link or have thoughts on why it's so hard to actually connect with people we already like. I really want to help women connect. It's rough out there.