u/daniiqm

I’m 30F and I’ve never been in a relationship, im scared of being in one. I’ve had a couple of “friends” but nothing serious as I don’t see myself in a relationship. My biggest problem is that my self esteem is almost non existent so I can’t take serious any compliment or anything in general that comes from a guy. I’m very insecure and distant in person, but at the same time I get attached so easily online as I used to be a chronically online person (and I’ve suffered a lot because of that which scares me more). I don’t know how to fix that. I would love to be in a beautiful relationship with someone, but at the same time I’m so afraid of suffering.

So I’m already on my second week of NC and things are finally getting better BUT I can’t listen to music cause it helped with my fantasies about my LO so now I’m triggered with every song I used to listen to during these 4 years I talked to him. Not only the music but also I can’t watch anime or movies because they remind me of him cause we shared our favourites. This makes me sad cause I can’t have such distractions and dealing with this is difficult. 😭

Edit: we didn’t share our music taste, it was totally the opposite. I was just stupid enough to fantasise about him when listening to the songs I liked.

So I’ve been 3 weeks off from twitter (after 17 years of being very active there) and I’m finally feeling better about it even though I miss the interactions and being up to date with everything, sometimes the FOMO is strong and it haunts me, I feel like I know nothing and lost. How to stop that feeling? It really makes me feel uncomfortable.

It’s been almost 2 weeks since the last time I talked to my LO and I start to feel better about it, I know this is not a lineal process but I have to stay strong. I just wanted to know how long did it take you to get over them and what did you do to help the process.

I’ve been dealing with low self esteem issues my whole life and recently one event related to a toxic behavioural addiction opened my eyes to my reality.

I wasn’t taking care of myself enough. I neglected my appearance, my friends, my mental health, my family and a lot of things for so many years. Now that the addiction was forced to stop I can see this.

I started therapy and the therapist said that my biggest issue is my almost non existent self esteem.

I’ve been working out for some years but I can’t get to the point where I want to be, I hate my appearance, I feel ugly, unlovable, fat. Sometimes I’m so motivated to change my life, but I feel like there’s no point cause I always will be ugly.

I’m grateful cause I’m not struggling with health issues, I have 2 arms, 2 legs, a job, a good income, but the self hatred has consumed my mind. I don’t know what to do to change that.

I just started my lessons last week and my teacher recommended me to get a piano so I will learn faster, I don’t know which one to buy. I would like to play classical music. She suggested me the Yamaha p-145 (if I’m not wrong) but I want to know if there are more options. Thank you in advance!

I’m not a beginner but I’ve never tracked my routines and progress and this time I want to have an organised routine for each day. Is it better to do it on my phone or use a notebook? Thank you in advance.

Almost 2 weeks ago I finally decided to leave twitter and I’m having terrible withdrawal symptoms, the past days have been relatively easy but today the fomo really hit hard, I found myself very anxious and crying.

I know this is normal cause I’m literally trying to beat an addiction but it’s so hard, I know I can’t go back.
It made me miserable, it’s a place full of toxic people, incels, rage bait, but the dopamine I received from the interactions was high.

I realised that outside twitter I don’t have a social life, I don’t have interests so that is making harder my recovery process.

I’m actually in the path of changing my life and learning to appreciate myself. My therapist recommended me some books to help the process but I’ve always been sceptical about self improvement books, also my attention span is messed up due to my social media addiction. I want to know if a book has really helped you in the process and which one was?

My therapist recommended me “fall in love with yourself” by Walter Riso and “the power of now” by Eckhart Tolle.

First of all as I already said before here I never met him in person, our interactions were online always, we’re not in the same country. We talked for almost 4 years and he’s nice, very nice you can talk about anything with him, he’s funny, good looking and his abs were my weakness. Leaving apart all that attracted me of him, he’s actually not a good person.

He’s unfaithful, a womanizer and I feel like he never took me seriously, he most of times talked just about him, barely asked me about me or my days, he forgot my birthday all those years, he ignored me for days and then came back like nothing, I don’t know why he’s so deep in my mind and it frustrates me, he showed interest on me and then uninterested again. I always have known that I would never date him or anything because that’s impossible but I still miss him and that makes me feel anxious.

So I’m a 30F trying to improve my life in many senses cause I neglected myself for so many years and now that I’m at rock bottom I want to change and stop feeling miserable. I want to work on my self esteem cause I feel ugly and unlovable. I need to work on my self love as well. I’ve been trying to take more care of myself. Now I’m taking gym serious, taking more care of my hair but I don’t know what else I can do. Due to my current situation I lost appetite, but I want to start to eat better. I don’t know anything about skincare, makeup or hair styling so any suggestions would be appreciated!

It’s not even a week since the last time I spoke to my LO to say goodbye definitely and deleted my accounts. I know I’m suffering from withdrawal symptoms but it’s so so difficult to deal with them, I found myself so empty and anxious the whole time, so I was wondering if going to the psychiatrist and ask for medication would help to control the fantasies and anxiety, has that worked for any of you?

It’s been 10 days since I deleted twitter and the FOMO has been disappearing, like I don’t feel it as strong as the first days, I still get triggered if I see the logo or something related but I forget it after some minutes.

I realised I don’t miss the shitty hole that twitter is, but I miss the “social life” I had there, my “friends” and people I used to interact with.

But I know this is the best for me. I need to take care of myself irl, and appreciate my friends, I have a few and neglected them.

Long story short I’ve been talking to this guy for almost 4 years, we never met in person, everything was online. Most of time we talked as friends but for some months we“spiced things up”. I liked him a lot not gonna lie, he’s my type and also fun. Since 2024 our friendship got “weird”, he started to ignore me and I realised he talked with a lot of girls in the same way he talked to me. I was going crazy everytime I saw him interacting with other girls. He told me that he was going out with girls irl but I didn’t care, I only cared when it was with girls online. Since then I got very anxious when I saw he was ignoring me, he didn’t even read my messages. I knew he also has a good social life, the opposite of me so I understand that he doesn’t waste a lot of time online like me.

I’m conscious that it was giving me anxiety more than joy, but I couldn’t just stop talking to him, even when I knew he didn’t care about me. He became an obsession, I find myself thinking everytime about him, daydreaming about him EVERYDAY.

Some days ago I decided to finally say goodbye to him, he understood it and supported me. I deleted my accounts. I did great the first 2 days cause at least I could say goodbye to him. But now I’m going crazy thinking more about him, I feel like I need to stalk him but if I do I will fail to myself, my efforts will be wasted.

It’s been a few days but it’s so hard 😭 I feel like I’m not strong enough and I will fail at any moment. I know he’s a womanizer, I know he was making me feel anxious, I know he doesn’t care about me cause I’m just an online friend but somehow I can’t take him out of my mind.

I can’t watch movies or anime cause automatically it reminds me of him, I’m going crazy I swear.

So I made an account for stalking random guys that my friends asked me to stalk, but then in the “search” section some random accounts started to popping out, beautiful girls with very good lives showing off how good they look, I followed then and it became an obsession. Watching their stories, I even followed their friends, I was more active checking these stories than my friends’ on my personal account, I kept this behaviour for years. I decided to delete that account cause it was hurting my self esteem but I guess I took too long. Now I feel that my reality sucks, I can’t stop comparing myself to those girls I became obsessed with, they even live in another continent. This is so lame and it makes me sad cause my life is good, I want to stop feeling like this.

Im not talking onlyabout partners but also friends. It’s crazy how sometimes you need to cut off people from your life for your own good. I still can’t deal with that, it’s horrible and painful, even though I know that is more painful to stay.

So I tried to quit social media 5 months ago and I failed, after a week I was going crazy thinking I was missing something, I guess that was FOMO. I continued with my toxic habit, reading twitter everyday, getting ragebaited, like I know that’s an awful place full of incels and fake news, but somehow I met great people there and that’s the hardest part for me. I said goodbye to a couple of friends and deleted everything again. It’s been a week already and it feels awful, I’m not gonna lie. It makes me sad to realise how empty my life is without social media, I neglected a lot of things in my life, but especially myself.

Something that is hard for me is that I can’t stop comparing myself to the people online, especially on instagram. Like I know it’s all fake but it still affects me. What makes me sad is that my life is actually good, I have a family that loves me, pets, a good job, why I’m not able to enjoy that? Why am I craving for something else? I have low self esteem and I hate myself, but I started working on it.

For now I just hate the FOMO, the emptiness, the desperation of having nothing in my soul, I don’t know for how long this feeling will stay in my chest, but I hope I can get over it soon, reading your experiences here gives me some comfort, it will pass…