u/crazyfroggy99

My MIL has been lying to my daughter that my daughter gives her things. Trinkets, jewellery, anything my daughter shows curiousity about.. MIL will say, "you gave me this". It started when she was a newborn so we didnt say anything.. shes just a baby and MIL is excited.. we also worried maybe shes getting dementia but theres other signs that shes just like this and its not dementia at all.

My daughter is 2 now and is starting to listen and remember. Since our last catchup, for the first time, she asked about the stuff that she has apparently "gifted" to MIL. She asked "where is my coin purse mama?" And I said "which purse?" And she said, "that one" like referring to the memory. She seemed very confused and I wasnt sure whether to address the memory or redirect her. I think that she thinks the "gifts" are HER THINGS that MIL has. I redirected her instead to her toys and she seems to have forgotten but I cant stop thinking about it.

We have plenty of distance from MIL and only see her once every few months. Maybe this is her way of being "remembered" by my toddler. If we say something, she will downplay it like we are overreacting and actually find another way to be inappropriate that doesnt really seem all that bad on the surface.

Am I overthinking this?

She asked if my toddler likes to help in the kitchen. I said yes she loves it followed by various examples. She said oh does ms rachel teach kitchen stuff? I said what?? She goes on to explain that my toddler is probably learning kitchen stuff from the TV. I said, no no we teach her, she helps out, and shes barely into ms rachel these days.

It was such a strange interaction. Idk if it was a dig at us as parents who know nothing? Or a dig at screen time? Or judgement towards her son as he never helped out when he was little.

I kind of wish I had turned to my partner and asked what TV show did he learn life skills from! But that would be insulting and embarassing to my partner as she was a very neglectful mum according to him.

If it was a one off I wouldnt even think about it but shes always taking digs at us so I cant help read into everything. Its pretty exhausting. I want to snap at her but shes the kind of person who'll get worse. Acting confused and grey rocking usually work best but leave me feeling pretty bitter.

Whats the difference between 1.5 and 2.5 engine? I currently drive a 1.5, if I get a car with 2.5 (not turbocharged) what difference will I feel? How much more petrol expense is it?

For context, I’m already NC unless I’m with DH, and he only sees her alone when necessary. She never gets unsupervised time with my toddler beyond maybe a few minutes in public while we’re right there.

I know she’ll never change. She’s awful even to her own son. He had serious mental health issues as a teenager because of her, and honestly she’s lucky he still bothers. Since we had a baby, he’s moved away and become very detached from her emotionally. He does a 2 min phone call daily which I think is ridiculous but I've left it to him. She still pushes boundaries and takes little jabs, but he’s become very good at not reacting. I haven’t.

I feel completely saturated by this woman. We can go weeks or months without seeing her and I’m still replaying interactions in my head wishing I’d said this or that. But that’s exactly what she wants. She thrives on reactions and drama.

In these catchups that literally only happen once every few weeks or months, she tells weird little lies to my toddler like “Nana bakes yummy cookies” when she doesn’t bake, or “you got me this gift” when my toddler didn’t. She also brings toys and junk food we’ve repeatedly said no to. I’m convinced she’d love to see my toddler melt down if I refused things in front of her so she can play the “fun grandma” while I’m the bad guy.

So instead, I stay calm, smile, focus on my toddler, let the moment pass, and donate the junk after she leaves. My toddler forgets about it anyway.

Theres no point saying anything at this point as we barely see her. She will do more of what we said no to in sneaky ways. I just want to not think about her after the interaction is over.

I feel exhausted by this constant rumination. What can I do so Im not spending this much energy on her? Sometimes it feels like every waking moment to the point im talking outloud as if im saying things to her.

Small, front and back, no screen (its too distracting), just a camera that does the job. Easy to install (ive never installed one). Any suggestions?

Recommendations please. I dont want another screen. Just a tiny camera that doesnt distract and does the job mounted front and back. Easy to install (ive never done it myself). Thank you

Mothers day was all about us. Went to the zoo and had a heap of fun as a family. Today my partner said he should go see his mum. The great news is he didnt ask for me or for our toddler to come. Hes basically going to catchup with his friends and as his mothers place is on the way he will drop in aswell. Im certain its because shes guilt tripped him about not seeing her on mothers day but I really dont want to care! Part of me does feel like WHY OMG because we did just see her less than a week ago. But again, Im holding myself back from saying anything. Atleast hes not involving me and my toddler!

I hate to admit it but when my toddler said "come" to MIL as we were leaving, I felt a pang of jealousy and protectiveness. Shes built her relationship with my toddler over lies and deceit. She uses shiny objects to lure her like a stranger might, rather than develop a genuine relationship with me and her son. We only see her once in a few months, so my daughter seeing her and saying "come" was over a very short and supervised interaction. I know it means nothing but my toddler has no idea what this woman is like, and yet in just maybe 10mins of one on one play she's able to get my toddler to ask her to come. I know it made her day and gave her another reason to hate us because in her head, her grandchild wanted her to come and we didnt let her. There are far too many issues to name but Im just so tired.

I have my eye on a used Mazda cx30 astina thats run 100k in 5 years. One previous owner. Service history looks regular. Some cosmetic damage/wear on the car. Its an AWD model and dealer said hes put 2 new tyres on. They didn't look the same and the other two were very worn. I read AWD should have all tyres changed at the same time. Ive asked the dealer to fix that. If they fix it, should I go ahead with the car or is there something else I need to think about?

When my toddler is nearby, MIL suddenly acts overly friendly toward me (after previously making backhanded comments), almost like she’s trying to put on a show that we’re close. At the same time, she tries to be very physically affectionate with my toddler even when she doesn’t seem that into it and tends to hover, touch constantly, and insert herself into play.

Normally my toddler gets close to people who she sees me being around. So I've tried walking away because I thought it might help avoid association that MIL and I are close or that I enjoy being around her, but that leaves my toddler dealing with her alone (and makes me spiral when i think that MIL is saying stuff that I know is manipulative and planting seeds). She eventually comes running after me. Last time their interaction lasted maybe 10mins in the playground and I literally was a couple tables away just watching.

How can I handle these situations in the moment, such as at the park, or another public place, especially when she’s being performative?? Did I do the right thing? It just doesnt feel right.

One of the cars Ive looked at is an AWD. The dealer has put different tyres on it. 2 are the same brand, the other two are both different. One tyre looks like its the original and worn. When I test drove it just felt a bit off. So I did some research and found that all the tyres need to be the same on AWDs. Its a used car. Should they make sure the tyres are all the same? Its not under warranty anymore. Do they have to ensure the tyres are the same?

I stumbled across carma.com.au and a lot of their cars seem to have window chips, usually on the windscreen. I love that they declare it but idk if its still safe to buy the car. Theres a 7 day return policy. Is it normal for used cars to have window chips and not be fixed before selling? Is it likely the chips will only get worse?

Idk why my partners mother has to do the same things shes been asked not to over and over again. Idk why she keeps a carseat in her car when its been in a car accident and keeps offering to drive us and gets offended when we say no. Idk why everytime I see her (even when its been months, even when we have given it to her straight) she hasnt changed a single thing. She will never fucking change. Seeing her try to get close to my toddler makes me sick. Shes a manipulative lying disrespectful woman who just wants the affection of unassuming people. First her son, then me, and now my daughter.

My daughter and I were playing and I walked away as soon as she came close to us. Ofcourse my daughter only hung around her maybe 10mins and came running over to me. Im not even trying to build a relationship there. If she cant respect me or her son, she cant respect our child either. She wants to be a grandparent but for what?? Her fake image??

Why the hell is the car seat in the car when we never asked for it and never approved it?? Why does she keep bringing gifts from people we dont even know when we have constantly said no?? I feel Iike a broken record at this point and the worst part is EVERYONE knows this is what shes like. She just wont fucking change despite of everyone being so clear with her, even cutting her off. Shes always the victim. Its so exhausting.

She said shes going travelling immediately followed by "oh but who knows how my health will fair..." then dont go travelling??? Wtf. Its all attention seeking behaviour. Shes a far bigger toddler than my actual toddler. I hope she doesnt bother coming back from her travels. Good riddance.

**i feel bad writing this but i need to just get it off my chest. I have been ruminating all day over what I could have/should have said but whats the point. We only see her once every few months and my partner fully sees his mother is an abusive person who will never change. I know shes probably not a 100% in the head. We had suspicious she may have dementia but honestly this is her personality ALL the time ,even when my partner was a child. I dont need to put up with her behaviour.

How do the built in sat navs in cars update themselves? Are they reliable?

Test drove through dealership. Very well maintained. Drove nicely. Has clean inspection report. But i'm stumped that its a 2018 model with only 23k mileage. Is that weird?

Im just confused. I went to a dealership today. Most of their number plates are similar with just one digit difference at the end. 3 months rego for most. I did a vehicle history check on a car i liked and it said it used to be a rental vehicle and there was no service history listed sinze 2022. Odometer reading matched. Engine number was different. Theres no logbook either but the car should be under warranty still. How do i believe the dealership when they tell me the cars warranty is valid? For all I know its void because theres no logbook and no service history anywhere. They have no vehicle inspection report. Its just their word. You can test drive around the dealership area but thats it. Is this all normal for a dealer??