u/barleyliving00

I (17F) have never exactly been in a proper relationship ever and i would like to keep it that way. In a way, im kind of traumatized by my dad who cheated on my mom before i was born and then catching him cheating myself when i was 10, so due to this i kind of sworn off relationships

I have always wanted to understand why ppl cheat in relationships to begin with but another question that i would like to get answers for is why on earth would someone willingly stay with an unfaithful partner??

I have always looked at my mom weird for staying with a cheating husband (im not sure if he is still actively cheating on her or not but regardless) WHY???

Its not like they truly love each other or anything, I understand that sometimes u rely on them or sometimes emotional manipulation is at play which ig is the main reason to why someone would do this to themselves??

Idk i have always wondered this because im so scared to end up like my mom so i want to avoid it as much as i can.

Tldr: why do ppl stay with cheating/unfaithful partners??

https://www.reddit.com/r/AIO/s/rweRjPjDt5

First i really want to thank everyone who tried to help and give advice, I can’t begin to describe how horrible and lonely i have been feeling and being able to to talk to ppl abt this made me feel a bit better. Like this situation had such a toll on me i installed reddit just to make that post and ask for help.

Anyway, my dad found out why i couldn’t look at him in the eyes the past few days and he was so pissed off at me because he thinks i thought of him as a rapist.

I tried telling him and my mom (who keeps defending him) that I don’t believe he would hurt me like this i just simply didn’t like the joke and it made me uncomfortable especially since its coming from my father.

My mom has been pissed off at me too because she wants me to apologize to him because apparently im at fault for taking his joke the wrong way. I told her im not apologizing for feeling uncomfortable he should be apologizing to me, then she said “don’t let that joke slide with anyone else but he is ur father so he jokes and says whatever and u can’t react this way”

I started sobbing at that. How could such words come out of my mother’s tongue?

Also i an supposed to move out of the house and live in another country for uni in a few months but my dad has been threatening to not let me go because “I can’t live alone with my messed up mentality or i will hurt myself and the ppl around me”

Oh another funny thing he said to my mom was “she thinks her own dad would do smth like that?? This is no place to joke abt this sort of stuff”

Like dude…ur the one who made the joke??

All i wanted was an apology from him but instead this is how he is reacting. Also mind u the joke in the first place was his reaction to him not believing marital rape is a thing.

Idk what to do anymore. But the good news is that my dad is driving to another city tomorrow for a while im not sure how long (we live in city A, sometimes we visit city B for his family and stuff, he prefers city B since it is his hometown, over city A which is my moms home town) so hopefully he stays there for a long time

I have been feeling incredibly suicid@l lately because i have always suffered with severe hypersexuality and my parents are making me believe im disgusting and weird for taking this joke the wrong way so im starting to think its due to my condition that i might have been at fault. genuinely dont know who to confide in since my mother is no help and she only cares i apologize because im the crazy one and what im doing is sinful because god is angry with ME!

i told her why would he be angry at a helpless girl for getting uncomfortable over a joke like that??

Im a 17 year old girl. For context, me and my mom lived together alone for years while my dad worked abroad. I used to be very close to him and adored him till i caught him cheating on my mom by catching him using dating apps. at the time i was like 10 or so. I told my mom and she didnt do anything.

Even tho my dad lives abroad he still visits once a year in the summer. During covid my parents got divorced for like a 2 years before they unfortunately got back together. I still till this day don’t even know why they got divorced but during this period my mom was miserable and i was only 12 when she told me that my dad used to cheat on her before i was even born.

I hated him and cut him off but when my mom remarried him i was forced to rekindle my relationship with him. Like i said im now 17 and my dad stopped working due to old age so ofc he had to come live with us now. It has only been a few weeks and i hate it sm. My mom is such a pick me around him and it grosses me out sm because he is a damn CHEATER why doesn’t she care??? She is always picking his side at everything. Now comes the part that im here for.

A few days ago i was sitting with my parents and i was discussing w them that i don’t plan on getting married because men this generation suck and i gave an example by saying “alot of men don’t even know that rape can still exist in a marriage” when i said this, my dad started laughing and said “im gonna rape u and ur mom”

i was in shock and so disgusted. My mom just giggled at his joke and istg that night i sobbed till my eyes were so swollen it hurt to blink. I have always felt my dad was kinda of a perv (not necessarily towards me but just in general) but this was so weird. I get that it was a joke but it wasn’t funny and i felt so guilty for staying quite. i spent the days after that locked in my room not able to look him in the eyes and praying for him to leave the house.

They noticed i was miserable and instead of being compassionate they cut ME off because according to them “im not being a good daughter”. Today, my dad went outside to watch a football match at a cafe. I finally went to my mom to talk to her abt that joke dad said and (ofcourse) she defended him by saying im mentally ill and that it was a harmless joke, he is just my dad after all. She started yelling at me like crazy even tho i was being calm and told me im dramatic. When things calmed down tho she said i should talk to him when he comes back, i only asked of her to be by my side because im not at fault for being uncomfortable and u should have been uncomfortable too.

When my dad came back an hour later tho she beat me to it and told him, needless to say she wasn’t by my side and was just sucking up to him. Now he is the one upset with me and didn’t even bother apologizing. Am i being dramatic? I don’t know what to do. I feel so lonely and i cant speak abt this with anyone ik irl, also i want to say I don’t actually think he would ever do anything to me (atleast i hope not) but it doesn’t change the fact i was uncomfortable. Being molested or sexually assaulted has always been a fear of mine too. Plz help me. Idk if im overreacting or not

Im a 17 year old girl. For context, me and my mom lived together alone for years while my dad worked abroad. I used to be very close to him and adored him till i caught him cheating on my mom by catching him using dating apps. at the time i was like 10 or so. I told my mom and she didnt do anything.

Even tho my dad lives abroad he still visits once a year in the summer. During covid my parents got divorced for like a 2 years before they unfortunately got back together. I still till this day don’t even know why they got divorced but during this period my mom was miserable and i was only 12 when she told me that my dad used to cheat on her before i was even born.

I hated him and cut him off but when my mom remarried him i was forced to rekindle my relationship with him. Like i said im now 17 and my dad stopped working due to old age so ofc he had to come live with us now. It has only been a few weeks and i hate it sm. My mom is such a pick me around him and it grosses me out sm because he is a damn CHEATER why doesn’t she care??? She is always picking his side at everything. Now comes the part that im here for.

A few days ago i was sitting with my parents and i was discussing w them that i don’t plan on getting married because men this generation suck and i gave an example by saying “alot of men don’t even know that rape can still exist in a marriage” when i said this, my dad started laughing and said “im gonna rape u and ur mom”

i was in shock and so disgusted. My mom just giggled at his joke and istg that night i sobbed till my eyes were so swollen it hurt to blink. I have always felt my dad was kinda of a perv (not necessarily towards me but just in general) but this was so weird. I get that it was a joke but it wasn’t funny and i felt so guilty for staying quite. i spent the days after that locked in my room not able to look him in the eyes and praying for him to leave the house.

They noticed i was miserable and instead of being compassionate they cut ME off because according to them “im not being a good daughter”. Today, my dad went outside to watch a football match at a cafe. I finally went to my mom to talk to her abt that joke dad said and (ofcourse) she defended him by saying im mentally ill and that it was a harmless joke, he is just my dad after all. She started yelling at me like crazy even tho i was being calm and told me im dramatic. When things calmed down tho she said i should talk to him when he comes back, i only asked of her to be by my side because im not at fault for being uncomfortable and u should have been uncomfortable too.

When my dad came back an hour later tho she beat me to it and told him, needless to say she wasn’t by my side and was just sucking up to him. Now he is the one upset with me and didn’t even bother apologizing. Am i being dramatic? I don’t know what to do. I feel so lonely and i cant speak abt this with anyone ik irl, also i want to say I don’t actually think he would ever do anything to me (atleast i hope not) but it doesn’t change the fact i was uncomfortable. Being molested or sexually assaulted has always been a fear of mine too. Plz help me. Idk if im overreacting or not