u/SquidKidPartier

I used to use the pink one as a teen but im an adult now and its been many years since I have last used that but I dont know what to do

I used to use the pink one when I was a teen but I didnt have acne then (barely a pimple here and there) but I never experienced acne to this degree :(

Four years ago I dermaplanned my skin because I saw it on the internet and I did it with a dirty razor and all of a sudden my skin has been breaking out nonstop. I feel like I’ve tried everything except get professional help but I can’t tell if this is hormonal acne, PIH, or melasma. This keeps me up at night and I just don’t know what to do anymore.

not pictured here is kojic acid soap and here’s my skin for reference. I feel like I’ve tried everything and yet my skin is getting worse and worse and I just really hate how I look here I don’t know I feel so sick when I look at myself in the mirror I try to eat right I try to starve myself even so I can not eat but I always fail and end up impulsively eating a lot of junk food to compensate for it and then I start and I try to chug nothing but water im just so confused I hate how nothing is working here

I have this disgusting splotchy patches of dark spots on my face and I've been actively breaking out for almost the past 4 years. I am so scared to tell anyone about this. when I try to bring this up to my parents they make an effort to make me cry and don't hear how insecure i feel. i I have been actively crying myself to sleep because of this and I just don't know what to do or say here. I hate myself so much and I hate how ugly and repulsive I look. how I look makes me want to throw up so bad it's insane. I want to not be on this planet anymore I don't deserve to live.