u/Reasonable-Hat7300

So I'm pretty weird, everytime I talk about things I like it's like people make me learned to keep that for me since I'm a kid. I get rejected and mocked for wearing the clothes I want to wear (I'm a guy and I fucking love wearing skirts, things like that, not even that crazy). All my life everyone learned me to reject myself and fit but this version of me, I hate it, I can't go out anymore, I don't want other peoples to see me because I know it's not me, it's weird, I want to improve that and accept myself for who I am even if it's sometime out of the norm but it's freaking hard, how do I do that ?

I'm 17m and last year I stopped going to school in the middle of highschool (or the equivalent of highschool in france more) because I couldn't support my social anxiety and my loneliness, even thought I never did that before I started to skip more and more class, at a point I really just could not go to school anymore. Now everytime I see anything related to school I have a fucking huge peak of anxiety and I truly don't see me returning anywere like that, but I need to if I want a good job that I like. I'm not ready for that again, I still need to calm down from my precedent sort of burnout and go out to meet peoples and fight my social anxiety, the thing is I can't, during the week I have to keep my little sister since I'm home and the week-end there's no transports so I can't go to the city, I live in a little village and beside some old dumb racists there's not a lot of peoples I can meet. what should I do you think ?

I see this advice a lot but everytime I eat a lot of fiber I just shit and shit the whole day (even when I take a lot for a long period) and can't be clean even with douch, am I doing something wrong ?

So i'm a 17 yo guy and I don't really have a friend group since like 3 years and it's been some months that I have nobody to talk to, I don't go to school anymore since a year and I live in a 2 thousands peoples village.

I really really need to meet peoples, it start to get fucking hard, I struggle to find study and I think I have more than a year in front of me of the same thing and truly I can't anymore so I decided to try to go to Paris and try to meet some people, it's a bit complicated to go there because I have no public transport the weekend but I can go to there sometime, I just don't know where to go and how to approach someone.

With time it's like I don't know how to talk and to find what to talk about anymore, also I'm very social anxious but for that I guess it will go of with talking to peoples, I really hope lol, but yeah, I can imagine engaging with someone but then I talk about what ? And if I don't ralk clearly or shit like that...

So yeah, I thought you would maybe have some advice to give me

I just find the subreddit and never heard about that, I'm really curious about nullectomy now, I would love to hear your experiences and what lead you to hear : )