u/Rainbow_Doggo_TNT

I have no idea why but I hate when I have to sneeze 3 times and someone has to say bless you after each one making this whole interaction annoying. I would prefer no one say bless you at all when I sneeze and just ignore it but if you have to draw attention to it, I'd rather you wait a few seconds after each sneeze to only say it at the end. Saying bless you is pointless imo cause it really doesn't mean anything; it's just you trying to get involved and seem nice and caring when it isn't really.

People who have no mic ruin the game. What makes ARC Raiders so fun is the proximity chat; the ability to communicate with allies and enemies to create interesting interactions and funny moments. Not having a mic and just existing there off to the side like a brain dead bump on log doing literally nothing to make you worthy of existing makes you a useless little weed that deserves nothing more than being plucked from the Earth with such force it causes a magnitude 8 earthquake and thrown down into the deepest, darkest pits of Hell at the bottom layer of Dante's Inferno for all eternity. These nasty ass shit stains must be wiped from the planet so that we can rebuild and make a better world.

The only way for you to have fun without a mic is to murder people and ruin their day for your enjoyment. You want nothing more than to watch people suffer you broke ass evil human centipede looking mother fucker that goons to BB-8 from Star Wars while playing Minecraft with keep inventory on.

So a solution to this disgusting plague is banning everyone who doesn't have a mic.

If the game can't detect a microphone for 5 minutes straight at any point, your account will be permanently terminated for incompetence and lack of funds. Once it detects your microphone, you will be forced to test your mic's quality; You will need to read a randomly generated sentence and an AI will determine how easy it is to understand you. Next, it will determine the volume; it being too quiet or being too loud will fail the test. And finally, if it suspects you are under the age of 21, your balls will get obliterated by the ban hammer. You only get one chance so failing any of these will delete your account. This removes all of those annoying ass squeaker children whose voices alone could make the human race go extinct; feels like placing a nail in your ear and beating the absolute shit out of it till it comes out the other end those fucking banshees. And those jobless little shits no-lifing the balls out of the game till their fingers are sanded down to little nubs so they're stacked to Hell and back and can easily mow down every poor soul with a 9-5 slaving away to barely make enough money to get by only to get fucking obliterated by a lifeless husk.

You will be forced to test your mic quality evertime you do any of the following:

- Open the game

- Join a party

- Ready up to play a match

- Every 10 minutes the game is open

- Come within 100 feet of another player

- Are knocked

- Are knocked out

- Knock a Raider

- Knock out a Raider

- Eliminate an ARC

- Enter an extract

- Extract successfully

- Craft/upgrade anything

- Collect materials from Scrappy

- You buy something from Celeste

If at any point your mic peaks or is so quite doesn't reach a certain decibel amount when in range of another Raider, BANNED. There will also be an AI that detects echoes in the mic for the broke asses using their controller mic with the loud ass audio pissing out of the tv speakers all over their shit-stained desk.

You must also have your mic unmuted and say at least 5 words at normal volume every 5 minutes when in range of another Raider to prevent those silent piss-drinking losers sneaking up my ass crack undetected and railing me so viciously with their fucking telephone pole sized dicks that it pierces my fucking brain.

Anyone who read this entire thing gets permission to play without a mic; you are the only exception. This took almost 2 hours to write