r/arcraiderscirclejerk

Bird City is a joyous occasion where we should all celebrate! The birds have gifted off us with ducks of all shapes and sizes, Snow Globes, and mix tapes!

But since people are a real grinch. Imagine you’re ten years old and you’re opening a present on Christmas Day and then you see it’s the Nintendo 64 you’ve always wanted! You’re beyond excited. Then done kid you’ve never met comes through the back of the window and shoots you in the back with a shotgun and takes it! There is literally no difference and the world will be a better place when everyone realizes it.

If you bring violence to the roofs of Buried City in the Bird City event you are unfit for society and should be treated as such.

I don’t have trouble hearing footsteps or anything, but when my wife’s boyfriend comes over it’s really hard to focus over the noise so I need something noise cancelling I think

People who have no mic ruin the game. What makes ARC Raiders so fun is the proximity chat; the ability to communicate with allies and enemies to create interesting interactions and funny moments. Not having a mic and just existing there off to the side like a brain dead bump on log doing literally nothing to make you worthy of existing makes you a useless little weed that deserves nothing more than being plucked from the Earth with such force it causes a magnitude 8 earthquake and thrown down into the deepest, darkest pits of Hell at the bottom layer of Dante's Inferno for all eternity. These nasty ass shit stains must be wiped from the planet so that we can rebuild and make a better world.

The only way for you to have fun without a mic is to murder people and ruin their day for your enjoyment. You want nothing more than to watch people suffer you broke ass evil human centipede looking mother fucker that goons to BB-8 from Star Wars while playing Minecraft with keep inventory on.

So a solution to this disgusting plague is banning everyone who doesn't have a mic.

If the game can't detect a microphone for 5 minutes straight at any point, your account will be permanently terminated for incompetence and lack of funds. Once it detects your microphone, you will be forced to test your mic's quality; You will need to read a randomly generated sentence and an AI will determine how easy it is to understand you. Next, it will determine the volume; it being too quiet or being too loud will fail the test. And finally, if it suspects you are under the age of 21, your balls will get obliterated by the ban hammer. You only get one chance so failing any of these will delete your account. This removes all of those annoying ass squeaker children whose voices alone could make the human race go extinct; feels like placing a nail in your ear and beating the absolute shit out of it till it comes out the other end those fucking banshees. And those jobless little shits no-lifing the balls out of the game till their fingers are sanded down to little nubs so they're stacked to Hell and back and can easily mow down every poor soul with a 9-5 slaving away to barely make enough money to get by only to get fucking obliterated by a lifeless husk.

You will be forced to test your mic quality evertime you do any of the following:

- Open the game

- Join a party

- Ready up to play a match

- Every 10 minutes the game is open

- Come within 100 feet of another player

- Are knocked

- Are knocked out

- Knock a Raider

- Knock out a Raider

- Eliminate an ARC

- Enter an extract

- Extract successfully

- Craft/upgrade anything

- Collect materials from Scrappy

- You buy something from Celeste

If at any point your mic peaks or is so quite doesn't reach a certain decibel amount when in range of another Raider, BANNED. There will also be an AI that detects echoes in the mic for the broke asses using their controller mic with the loud ass audio pissing out of the tv speakers all over their shit-stained desk.

You must also have your mic unmuted and say at least 5 words at normal volume every 5 minutes when in range of another Raider to prevent those silent piss-drinking losers sneaking up my ass crack undetected and railing me so viciously with their fucking telephone pole sized dicks that it pierces my fucking brain.

Anyone who read this entire thing gets permission to play without a mic; you are the only exception. This took almost 2 hours to write

The title is way too powerful as is. I think it should be called ARC Tiny Drawer Searchers or Toledo Lockermen.

Slur Based Matchmaking would separate the good from the bad, IMO. Tired of loading into lobbies that I’m just not built for, ya know?

To the loser in Stella who knocked me out when I was crawling to the raider hatch gfy:) He actually acted like he was gonna rez me :) “ hey I have a defib come here “ but I knew immediately it was bs the way he kept moving around and looking around to see if anyone would see his cowardice so I knew I was dead. I hope you enjoy the dolobra I have the BP :) This generation has no honor and we’re cooked :). Cross post this to arcbabies lol

My wife's boyfriend literally cheated on my wife , and noone literally gives a crap at Embark . He's literally still playing the expedition today and literally embark is allowing him

Honey I aint time fo dat!

Did people just use a trash can or bush out back? I want to breech a toilet to get craft materials and relieve my raider during raid

Describe

One way I think embark could keep people playing the game is if they fundamentally change every aspect of the game once a month or even more frequently like once every four weeks.

Maybe it’s coming in a future expedition but I feel like one of the rewards should be a basic magic ability like levitation or poison urine or maybe something like magic missile.

I think replacing the current format of the game with turn based combat would also really reinvigorate the user base and attract new users into the user base.

ok so ive been playing for maybe 4ish weeks? maybe 5 and thankfully it doesnt happen much, else I would have stopped playing a while ago but its happened enough times for me to be confused by it.

whats with those players that go "wanna team up?" and when you say no they shoot you in the back, its not even that it annoys me its just confusing why they would even ask you to begin with? like did I piss you off when I just wanted to go alone?

again I can count on one hand how many times its happened and about like ~75% of interactions ive had have been really friendly and chill but like seriously, these people confuse and baffle me because I swear thats the kind of stuff a bandit in Skyrim would do.