u/Potential-Try5509

I (27M) have been with my girlfriend (26F) for a little over 2 years and until last week I honestly thought we had one of those relationships people secretly hated because it looked too perfect. We barely fought, we traveled together, talked about marriage, and I trusted her more than anyone I’ve ever dated. Last Friday she left her iPad at my apartment while she was at work and I wasn’t even trying to snoop because an alarm kept going off during a meeting, so I picked it up to turn it off, and when I opened it her messages were already on screen. I saw my name and at first I thought it would be something cute she said to her friends about me, but instead I found months of messages where her and her friends were literally analyzing me like some kind of experiment. For EIGHT months she had apparently been running what they called “loyalty tests” on me. There were screenshots and breakdowns of situations she intentionally created to study my reactions, posting stories to make me jealous, replying slowly to see if I’d “chase,” mentioning fake male coworkers to watch my body language, acting cold before dates to see how much effort I’d put in, and even having one of her friends DM me from a fake Instagram account to see if I’d flirt back. The worst part is I actually told my girlfriend about that fake account immediately because I thought someone was trying to scam me, and in the group chat they literally gave me “green flag points” for it. I kept reading even though I felt sick because at that point I needed to know how deep this went, and then I found the message that completely broke me. One of her friends asked her, “Do you actually love him or are you just seeing if he passes?” and my girlfriend replied, “At first it was curiosity, but now I’m too deep in to stop.” I swear that sentence has been playing in my head nonstop. I confronted her that night and she instantly started crying and said every girl she knows does things like this because dating is dangerous now and she has trust issues from being cheated on before, and she kept insisting the tests were supposed to prove whether I was “safe.” But honestly if I had secretly manipulated and tested her emotions for nearly a year I feel like people would call me controlling or emotionally abusive immediately. Now she’s also angry that I read the messages at all and says I violated HER privacy, and she keeps saying the tests were harmless because I “passed” them anyway, but I don’t feel like I won anything. I feel like I’ve been unknowingly auditioning for a role in my own relationship while a panel judged me behind the scenes. Since then she’s been blowing up my phone apologizing, saying she loves me, begging for couples therapy, and promising she’ll never do anything like this again, but my friends are completely divided. Half of them think this is deeply manipulative and I should run before it gets worse, while the other half says everyone tests partners a little and I’m overreacting because she was scared of getting hurt. I genuinely can’t tell if this is smt ppl come back from. TL:DR im cooked.

AITA for leaving my friend stranded after I found out what he did? Me (22M) and my friend (23M) drove about an hour and a half to another city for a party. I was DD because he said he wanted to drink. Everything was normal until near the end of the night when one of my girl friends came up and asked if I knew where he was because she looked uncomfortable. I found him outside trying to convince one of her friends who was absolutely wasted to go back to his car and “sleep it off.” I pulled him away and he started getting pissed saying I was overreacting and that she literally said yes. I told him we were leaving immediately and he kept arguing with me so I got in my car and left. He ended up having to Uber back at like 4am and spent over $200 because we were far away. Now he's telling everyone I abandoned him drunk in another city and could've gotten him hurt, but I honestly don't even feel bad. AITA?

TIFU by accidentally making my girlfriend think I had a second phone. Last night I was trying to surprise her with concert tickets for her favorite artist and I didn’t want her seeing the emails, so I logged into a separate email on an old phone I had in my drawer and ordered them on that. Today she came over while I was in the shower and apparently my old phone started blowing up because my friends were spamming our group chat. I walk out and she’s sitting on the edge of my bed staring at me and goes “how long?” I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. She thought I had a secret relationship because apparently finding a hidden phone is like relationship nuclear war. She started crying before I even understood what was happening. I had to show her the tickets and my entire email history to prove I wasn’t living a double life. TL;DR: Used an old phone to secretly buy my girlfriend concert tickets, she found it while I was showering and thought I had a hidden second phone for cheating, leading to a full relationship nuclear meltdown before I could explain.