u/PeaceAndChilli

I feel like I'm dying and it's hard to breathe. I have issues with my husband due both of our faults and he says that he wants to leave me. I don't know what to do, I love him so much. I feel like I'll have a panic attack, It's hard to breathe

Hello!

I have situation, where me and my husband are upset at each other and don't talk much. Unfortunately, this is a way how sometimes it goes when we have issues, although yesterday we spoke about the problem, but it essentially went nowhere.

So, day before yesterday, at morning my husband watched our toddler - let's call him B. - so that I can sleep longer, then after waking myself up, I put the toddler to take a nap, then went on with my day, watching him too. We have arrangement, where we took turns to watch our child, as of now both of us don't work.

So, near to the end of day, when we need to put B. to sleep, I brought him to my husband to watch, so I can catch a break, before B. is put to sleep. I was in the room, trying to chill, but B. was getting fussy, so my husband put him in his bed and put on cartoon for him to watch, whilst my husband sat in phone near. I didn't like it, as my husband all this time was chilling, using phone, was on PC and so on, but couldn't for a bit before sleeping play with B. instead of making him watch screen whilst he still kept on being on phone?

I told him that before sleeping, at least to play with him not just leave him be with screen. So my husband put B. in his toddler fence and sat there with him, at first kinda playing with him till eventually very shortly starting to sit on phone again. Ok, fine, whatever, though, I was not happy, but at least toddler seemed happy. I then started to make bottle for B. In this time B. started to be loud, whine and grabbed the fence and shaked it like crazy. Just overall wreaking chaos and being loud.

In meantime my husband did nothing and sat on phone literally next on the floor near B. I was already tired, overwhelmed and stressed, beforehand, as I was for a while watching our toddler, fed him, changed diapers, just overall dealt with him and I asked my husband to watch him for like half hour before I even myself would put B. to sleep, but even in this short period, my husband was on phone and leaving our toddler to do his own. At first with just making him to watch screen, then not doing anything while B. was being loud and chaotic, this all made me feel even more upset and I got angry.

I know that I should have not - and I later told this to my husband and apologized -, but I got angry and raised my voice telling him to deal with B. for God's sake, as he's literally screaming and shaking the fence and my husband's just sitting on phone. My husband then got angry because I was raising my voice and we started to argue and raise voices more up. Among everything, when I told him that he should deal with B. so I can rest too, that I should be the one leaving our room, if B's being loud and I'm bothered. We argued till I told him to put B. to sleep himself and then left the room, as I got really overwhelmed and went to cry in other room.

My husband then texted that I was very rude and that B. can stay up, as he won't be putting him to sleep. I texted him that I was overwhelmed and angry, that he should at least put B. to sleep not out of spite let him stay up, as I was watching him already for some time and I was feeling overwhelmed and bad. He said that I was rude and I made him to put B. out of spite too, so he won't do it. This made me feel so bad, because all this entire situation is so sh\*tty, and whislst I know that I should not have needed to raise my voice, it is so mean that he would out of spite let B. stay up, especially after he saw how bad I felt and I already for multiple hours watched B., before now he didn't finish watching him even the half hour till this argument broke out.

Eventually I went back, put B. to sleep and just kept to myself. Yesterday I told him how sh\*tty all this made me feel and I told him that I should have not raised my voice and therefore be rude and that I was sorry, but I also told him that he does not see my side, how it all came to be. He kept being upset about me, telling me that I was rude, that it was his business how he watches B., that if I was overwhelmed and felt bad, I should've said it and asked him nicely put B. to sleep and that I am blaming him for all this.

I didn't blame him all for this, but I did say that me getting angry didn't come from nowhere and B. being loud and going crazy, when it was my husband's job to deal with him, was on him. He needed to play and deal with him, but from very beginning he just sat on phone and even put B. on screen to watch cartoon before sleeping rather than playing with him. All this resulted in me losing my sh\*t yet I still admit that I should have not. I told him that I was genuinely sorry for me raising voice and being rude, but I wanted him to see and understand my side too, instead of him pushing it all on me and telling me that I simply should've asked him to do this or that, instead of him seeing it by himself not sitting on phone.

At the end we were left to not talking, till today and I just feel sad and guilty. I feel guilty yet also very wronged, as he doesn't acknowledge his behavior and apologize.

I am starting to worry that I am truly at wrong in all of this, by now and that I should go again to apologize to him, but in same time I just feel so deeply sad that I want to cry. I hate the silence between arguments and my heart hurts a lot. Is this all really on me?

TL;DR essentially when it was husband's turn to watch toddler, he sat on phone whilst let B. be, until B. drove me crazy, when I'm already overwhelmed and tired, by being loud, and then my husband got angry at me when I got angry myself and raised voice at him. There's more to it, but please read the post. him sitting on phone and not dealing with our toddler. Now we're barely talking and still are upset.

Hello!

I have situation, where me and my husband are upset at each other and don't talk much. Unfortunately, this is a way how sometimes it goes when we have issues, although yesterday we spoke about the problem, but it essentially went nowhere.

So, day before yesterday, at morning my husband watched our toddler - let's call him B. - so that I can sleep longer, then after waking myself up, I put the toddler to take a nap, then went on with my day, watching him too. We have arrangement, where we took turns to watch our child, as of now both of us don't work.

So, near to the end of day, when we need to put B. to sleep, I brought him to my husband to watch, so I can catch a break, before B. is put to sleep. I was in the room, trying to chill, but B. was getting fussy, so my husband put him in his bed and put on cartoon for him to watch, whilst my husband sat in phone near. I didn't like it, as my husband all this time was chilling, using phone, was on PC and so on, but couldn't for a bit before sleeping play with B. instead of making him watch screen whilst he still kept on being on phone?

I told him that before sleeping, at least to play with him not just leave him be with screen. So my husband put B. in his toddler fence and sat there with him, at first kinda playing with him till eventually very shortly starting to sit on phone again. Ok, fine, whatever, though, I was not happy, but at least toddler seemed happy. I then started to make bottle for B. In this time B. started to be loud, whine and grabbed the fence and shaked it like crazy. Just overall wreaking chaos and being loud.

In meantime my husband did nothing and sat on phone literally next on the floor near B. I was already tired, overwhelmed and stressed, beforehand, as I was for a while watching our toddler, fed him, changed diapers, just overall dealt with him and I asked my husband to watch him for like half hour before I even myself would put B. to sleep, but even in this short period, my husband was on phone and leaving our toddler to do his own. At first with just making him to watch screen, then not doing anything while B. was being loud and chaotic, this all made me feel even more upset and I got angry.

I know that I should have not - and I later told this to my husband and apologized -, but I got angry and raised my voice telling him to deal with B. for God's sake, as he's literally screaming and shaking the fence and my husband's just sitting on phone. My husband then got angry because I was raising my voice and we started to argue and raise voices more up. Among everything, when I told him that he should deal with B. so I can rest too, that I should be the one leaving our room, if B's being loud and I'm bothered. We argued till I told him to put B. to sleep himself and then left the room, as I got really overwhelmed and went to cry in other room.

My husband then texted that I was very rude and that B. can stay up, as he won't be putting him to sleep. I texted him that I was overwhelmed and angry, that he should at least put B. to sleep not out of spite let him stay up, as I was watching him already for some time and I was feeling overwhelmed and bad. He said that I was rude and I made him to put B. out of spite too, so he won't do it. This made me feel so bad, because all this entire situation is so sh\*tty, and whislst I know that I should not have needed to raise my voice, it is so mean that he would out of spite let B. stay up, especially after he saw how bad I felt and I already for multiple hours watched B., before now he didn't finish watching him even the half hour till this argument broke out.

Eventually I went back, put B. to sleep and just kept to myself. Yesterday I told him how sh\*tty all this made me feel and I told him that I should have not raised my voice and therefore be rude and that I was sorry, but I also told him that he does not see my side, how it all came to be. He kept being upset about me, telling me that I was rude, that it was his business how he watches B., that if I was overwhelmed and felt bad, I should've said it and asked him nicely put B. to sleep and that I am blaming him for all this.

I didn't blame him all for this, but I did say that me getting angry didn't come from nowhere and B. being loud and going crazy, when it was my husband's job to deal with him, was on him. He needed to play and deal with him, but from very beginning he just sat on phone and even put B. on screen to watch cartoon before sleeping rather than playing with him. All this resulted in me losing my sh\*t yet I still admit that I should have not. I told him that I was genuinely sorry for me raising voice and being rude, but I wanted him to see and understand my side too, instead of him pushing it all on me and telling me that I simply should've asked him to do this or that, instead of him seeing it by himself not sitting on phone.

At the end we were left to not talking, till today and I just feel sad and guilty. I feel guilty yet also very wronged, as he doesn't acknowledge his behavior and apologize.

I am starting to worry that I am truly at wrong in all of this, by now and that I should go again to apologize to him, but in same time I just feel so deeply sad that I want to cry. I hate the silence between arguments and my heart hurts a lot. How should I go about this?

TL;DR essentially when it was husband's turn to watch toddler, he sat on phone whilst let B. be, until B. drove me crazy, when I'm already overwhelmed and tired, by being loud, and then my husband got angry at me when I got angry myself and raised voice at him. There's more to it, but please read the post.

Hello!

I have situation, where me and my husband are upset at each other and don't talk much. Unfortunately, this is a way how sometimes it goes when we have issues, although yesterday we spoke about the problem, but it essentially went nowhere.

So, day before yesterday, at morning my husband watched our toddler - let's call him B. - so that I can sleep longer, then after waking myself up, I put the toddler to take a nap, then went on with my day, watching him too. We have arrangement, where we took turns to watch our child, as of now both of us don't work.

So, near to the end of day, when we need to put B. to sleep, I brought him to my husband to watch, so I can catch a break, before B. is put to sleep. I was in the room, trying to chill, but B. was getting fussy, so my husband put him in his bed and put on cartoon for him to watch, whilst my husband sat in phone near. I didn't like it, as my husband all this time was chilling, using phone, was on PC and so on, but couldn't for a bit before sleeping play with B. instead of making him watch screen whilst he still kept on being on phone?

I told him that before sleeping, at least to play with him not just leave him be with screen. So my husband put B. in his toddler fence and sat there with him, at first kinda playing with him till eventually very shortly starting to sit on phone again. Ok, fine, whatever, though, I was not happy, but at least toddler seemed happy. I then started to make bottle for B. In this time B. started to be loud, whine and grabbed the fence and shaked it like crazy. Just overall wreaking chaos and being loud.

In meantime my husband did nothing and sat on phone literally next on the floor near B. I was already tired, overwhelmed and stressed, beforehand, as I was for a while watching our toddler, fed him, changed diapers, just overall dealt with him and I asked my husband to watch him for like half hour before I even myself would put B. to sleep, but even in this short period, my husband was on phone and leaving our toddler to do his own. At first with just making him to watch screen, then not doing anything while B. was being loud and chaotic, this all made me feel even more upset and I got angry.

I know that I should have not - and I later told this to my husband and apologized -, but I got angry and raised my voice telling him to deal with B. for God's sake, as he's literally screaming and shaking the fence and my husband's just sitting on phone. My husband then got angry because I was raising my voice and we started to argue and raise voices more up. Among everything, when I told him that he should deal with B. so I can rest too, that I should be the one leaving our room, if B's being loud and I'm bothered. We argued till I told him to put B. to sleep himself and then left the room, as I got really overwhelmed and went to cry in other room.

My husband then texted that I was very rude and that B. can stay up, as he won't be putting him to sleep. I texted him that I was overwhelmed and angry, that he should at least put B. to sleep not out of spite let him stay up, as I was watching him already for some time and I was feeling overwhelmed and bad. He said that I was rude and I made him to put B. out of spite too, so he won't do it. This made me feel so bad, because all this entire situation is so sh*tty, and whislst I know that I should not have needed to raise my voice, it is so mean that he would out of spite let B. stay up, especially after he saw how bad I felt and I already for multiple hours watched B., before now he didn't finish watching him even the half hour till this argument broke out.

Eventually I went back, put B. to sleep and just kept to myself. Yesterday I told him how sh*tty all this made me feel and I told him that I should have not raised my voice and therefore be rude and that I was sorry, but I also told him that he does not see my side, how it all came to be. He kept being upset about me, telling me that I was rude, that it was his business how he watches B., that if I was overwhelmed and felt bad, I should've said it and asked him nicely put B. to sleep and that I am blaming him for all this.

I didn't blame him all for this, but I did say that me getting angry didn't come from nowhere and B. being loud and going crazy, when it was my husband's job to deal with him, was on him. He needed to play and deal with him, but from very beginning he just sat on phone and even put B. on screen to watch cartoon before sleeping rather than playing with him. All this resulted in me losing my sh*t yet I still admit that I should have not. I told him that I was genuinely sorry for me raising voice and being rude, but I wanted him to see and understand my side too, instead of him pushing it all on me and telling me that I simply should've asked him to do this or that, instead of him seeing it by himself not sitting on phone.

At the end we were left to not talking, till today and I just feel sad and guilty. I feel guilty yet also very wronged, as he doesn't acknowledge his behavior and apologize.

I am starting to worry that I am truly at wrong in all of this, by now and that I should go again to apologize to him, but in same time I just feel so deeply sad that I want to cry. I hate the silence between arguments and my heart hurts a lot. Is this all really on me?

TL;DR essentially when it was husband's turn to watch toddler, he sat on phone whilst let B. be, until B. drove me crazy, when I'm already overwhelmed and tired, by being loud, and then my husband got angry at me when I got angry myself and raised voice at him. There's more to it, but please read the post.