u/OrdinarySecretary673

I am a mom to a one year old and currently pregnant. Since getting pregnant with my son, I began to feel different towards our 8 year old rescue dog. I chalked it up to pregnancy difficulties.

The shelter told us she was “mostly potty trained” which really meant not potty trained at all. Cleaning up dog poop and pee 10x a day in my first trimester while dealing with morning sickness really drained me. Sometimes hubby would work late and I didn’t want the feces or urine to soak in so I’d clean it myself. I remember vomiting all over the carpet once because I was so grossed out. The smell of pet Resolve still makes me feel nauseous to this day! She was just one more thing that needed me when I was exhausted and felt horrible. As my pregnancy continue and morning sickness went away, the resentment never did.

Our son was born and she is mostly good with him (will growl on occasion) but overall very tolerant compared to most. But I just don’t like her anymore and I feel horrible for it. EVERYTHING she does annoys me. I think it’s also difficult because she makes it harder to parent. My son constantly ripping over her water dish or eating dog food out of her bowl, chewing this up around the house after I just vacuumed. Then there’s just the safety issue of never wanting to leave my son alone with an animal, so he has to be carted all over our 4-level split whenever we need to do a chore in the other room. But it’s also the smell. I don’t think I have petted her since before getting pregnant. I don’t even want to be near her. If she rubs up against my leg I get grossed out. I feel horrible about it. Before pregnancy I loved dogs. I also get more easily annoyed by my family’s dogs but they don’t hold the same annoyance as my own.

I like cats even more now. My husband hates them. But I’m thankful that he and my son love the dog and give her plenty of attention. At this point I wouldn’t consider rehoming. She’s 10 years old with medical issues and had a hard life. I have a mutual love and respect for her enough to want to give her a nice retirement. She does have a good life here. She gets to play with my BIL’s dogs weekly. Our nieces and nephews love her. I try to remain indifferent towards her but it is hard at times. I honestly don’t think she’d get adopted if we were to rehome so I’m in it for the few years she likely has left.

Me and my husband have been married 2 years. The hard part is, when I’m pregnant or newly breastfeeding I have zero sex drive. If a negative sex drive is possible then that would pretty much describe me during that state. I don’t like to cuddle much and kissing is almost repulsive to me. It’s the strangest thing. It has to be hormonal. I had a high sex drive and then fell pregnant right after getting married. I told my husband I want to space our next children further apart so I can get my hormone levels back. I got pregnant again at 7 months postpartum.

Right now it’s mainly due to morning sickness. I’m coming out of the first trimester with our second child and have been really struggling the past 6 weeks with nausea, vomiting and extreme fatigue. My husband’s breath was a trigger (he’s prone to halitosis) but I didn’t tell him this.

I did let my husband know that I have been struggling with intimacy desires due to pregnancy but still want him to initiate and be open with me but I’m worried he’s taking it personally. He got very quiet after I mentioned it. With my last pregnancy I didn’t tell him what was going on and would just grin and bear it. Hated sex and had some really bad pelvic pain afterwards along with the usual low libido symptoms but I never said anything. I’d lie and say kissing just tickled when it was actually the smell of his breath that would be making me flinch. Before, the things like being sweaty during sex or bad breath wouldn’t bother me but with my current hormones it’s ALL I can think about.

Any advice for navigating this season of life? Hoping it clears. I never want to deny my husband but feel the change in my drive is becoming so obvious. I try my best to be energetic and helpful around the house when he gets home so I feel like he doesn’t always get the picture that I have already thrown up 3x that day and have a migraine. It’s also balancing the need to be honest without hurting his feelings and not making him feel like I don’t desire him. I am still very attracted to him. Physical intimacy is just hard for me right now. I don’t deny him but getting excited and putting on a show is hard. Most of the time I just want to lay there. I have no interest in wild positions or experimenting right now.

My husband does try hard to pleasure me in the bedroom. He’s not selfish. The techniques that usually work don’t have the same effect on me while pregnant. I’d rather just hurry up, finish and be done.