u/Ok_Traffic77

I’m in my mid 20s and only recently started seriously thinking about relationships. I’ve never been in one before. For most of my life, survival and stability came first.

I grew up borderline homeless with very little affection or emotional support. I never really had a strong family dynamic or extended family connections. I made friends over the years, but never many close ones. I didn’t have the house, money, or things other kids had, so I rarely invited people over. I also learned pretty early to avoid drama and trouble, so I kept my circle small.

Life is finally getting better now. I’m close to where I wanted to be financially. I have a stable place to live, I’m almost done paying off debt, and I’m getting into shape.

Lately I’ve been thinking about what I’d actually want in a partner, and I’m wondering if my preferences are weird or unhealthy.

I still have a very “poor person” mindset financially. I avoid unnecessary spending, buy cheaper options unless something durable is worth it long term, and buy things in bulk because it saves money over time. I’m very focused on FIRE and retiring early because life has honestly felt exhausting for a long time.

Because of that, I think I’d want someone with a similar mindset. Someone self-made, disciplined, and financially careful. I don’t think I’d connect well with someone who grew up wealthy and heavily supported by their parents. I don’t want to rely on someone else’s family money, and I worry we’d have very different expectations around life and spending.

Another thing I feel weird admitting is that I’m uncomfortable with the idea of dating someone who is extremely close with their parents or family. I don’t really have that dynamic myself, so the idea of constantly interacting with a partner’s family feels foreign and uncomfortable to me. Honestly, teachers, mentors, and bosses have filled more of a “parental” role in my life than my actual parents have.

I know a lot of this isn’t something people can control, and I’m not trying to judge anyone for having supportive families. I’m just trying to understand myself better.

Is this something I should work through, or is it reasonable to want someone whose life experiences and mindset are similar to mine?

I’m in my mid 20s and only recently started seriously thinking about relationships. I’ve never been in one before. For most of my life, survival and stability came first.

I grew up borderline homeless with very little affection or emotional support. I never really had a strong family dynamic or extended family connections. I made friends over the years, but never many close ones. I didn’t have the house, money, or things other kids had, so I rarely invited people over. I also learned pretty early to avoid drama and trouble, so I kept my circle small.

Life is finally getting better now. I’m close to where I wanted to be financially. I have a stable place to live, I’m almost done paying off debt, and I’m getting into shape.

Lately I’ve been thinking about what I’d actually want in a partner, and I’m wondering if my preferences are weird or unhealthy.

I still have a very “poor person” mindset financially. I avoid unnecessary spending, buy cheaper options unless something durable is worth it long term, and buy things in bulk because it saves money over time. I’m very focused on FIRE and retiring early because life has honestly felt exhausting for a long time.

Because of that, I think I’d want someone with a similar mindset. Someone self-made, disciplined, and financially careful. I don’t think I’d connect well with someone who grew up wealthy and heavily supported by their parents. I don’t want to rely on someone else’s family money, and I worry we’d have very different expectations around life and spending.

Another thing I feel weird admitting is that I’m uncomfortable with the idea of dating someone who is extremely close with their parents or family. I don’t really have that dynamic myself, so the idea of constantly interacting with a partner’s family feels foreign and uncomfortable to me. Honestly, teachers, mentors, and bosses have filled more of a “parental” role in my life than my actual parents have.

I know a lot of this isn’t something people can control, and I’m not trying to judge anyone for having supportive families. I’m just trying to understand myself better.

Is this something I should work through, or is it reasonable to want someone whose life experiences and mindset are similar to mine?

I’m in my mid 20s and only recently started seriously thinking about relationships. I’ve never been in one before. For most of my life, survival and stability came first.

I grew up borderline homeless with very little affection or emotional support. I never really had a strong family dynamic or extended family connections. I made friends over the years, but never many close ones. I didn’t have the house, money, or things other kids had, so I rarely invited people over. I also learned pretty early to avoid drama and trouble, so I kept my circle small.

Life is finally getting better now. I’m close to where I wanted to be financially. I have a stable place to live, I’m almost done paying off debt, and I’m getting into shape.

Lately I’ve been thinking about what I’d actually want in a partner, and I’m wondering if my preferences are weird or unhealthy.

I still have a very “poor person” mindset financially. I avoid unnecessary spending, buy cheaper options unless something durable is worth it long term, and buy things in bulk because it saves money over time. I’m very focused on FIRE and retiring early because life has honestly felt exhausting for a long time.

Because of that, I think I’d want someone with a similar mindset. Someone self-made, disciplined, and financially careful. I don’t think I’d connect well with someone who grew up wealthy and heavily supported by their parents. I don’t want to rely on someone else’s family money, and I worry we’d have very different expectations around life and spending.

Another thing I feel weird admitting is that I’m uncomfortable with the idea of dating someone who is extremely close with their parents or family. I don’t really have that dynamic myself, so the idea of constantly interacting with a partner’s family feels foreign and uncomfortable to me. Honestly, teachers, mentors, and bosses have filled more of a “parental” role in my life than my actual parents have.

I know a lot of this isn’t something people can control, and I’m not trying to judge anyone for having supportive families. I’m just trying to understand myself better.

Is this something I should work through, or is it reasonable to want someone whose life experiences and mindset are similar to mine?

Hi everyone,

I’m in my mid 20s and have already worked at 6 companies. I’m honestly getting tired of the standard 9-5 lifestyle.

I recently moved into what I thought would be a calmer industry hoping for less stress, but it feels like every company is trying to operate with fewer staff while expecting the same or more output from everyone.

A couple years ago I was homeless, so I’m genuinely grateful to have stable employment and be in a better position now. I grew up with very little security or stability, so losing income is something that scares me a lot. I don’t want to quit impulsively and end up back in that situation.

But at the same time, I can feel the constant stress catching up to me physically and mentally. My body feels weaker, I’m mentally exhausted, and I haven’t even had access to vacation time yet at my current job.

I’m hardworking and motivated, but I want more flexibility in life. I want to be able to go to the gym at 3 PM sometimes instead of commuting home after 5 PM exhausted. I want time to actually live.

I tried entrepreneurship in an area I was passionate about, but it’s a heavily regulated field and it felt almost impossible for a small startup to realistically break in or win contracts. The financial risk feels too high for me right now given my background.

The hard part is that I’m kind of a generalist. I have experience across writing, tech, compliance, operations, management, strategy, etc., but not one hyper-specialized skill that clearly points to a flexible career path.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What careers or paths actually offer flexibility, decent income, and some level of stability without completely burning you out?

Hi everyone,

I’m in my mid 20s and have already worked at 6 companies. I’m honestly getting tired of the standard 9-5 lifestyle.

I recently moved into what I thought would be a calmer industry hoping for less stress, but it feels like every company is trying to operate with fewer staff while expecting the same or more output from everyone.

A couple years ago I was homeless, so I’m genuinely grateful to have stable employment and be in a better position now. I grew up with very little security or stability, so losing income is something that scares me a lot. I don’t want to quit impulsively and end up back in that situation.

But at the same time, I can feel the constant stress catching up to me physically and mentally. My body feels weaker, I’m mentally exhausted, and I haven’t even had access to vacation time yet at my current job.

I’m hardworking and motivated, but I want more flexibility in life. I want to be able to go to the gym at 3 PM sometimes instead of commuting home after 5 PM exhausted. I want time to actually live.

I tried entrepreneurship in an area I was passionate about, but it’s a heavily regulated field and it felt almost impossible for a small startup to realistically break in or win contracts. The financial risk feels too high for me right now given my background.

The hard part is that I’m kind of a generalist. I have experience across writing, tech, compliance, operations, management, strategy, etc., but not one hyper-specialized skill that clearly points to a flexible career path.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What careers or paths actually offer flexibility, decent income, and some level of stability without completely burning you out?

Hi everyone,

I’m in my mid 20s and have already worked at 6 companies. I’m honestly getting tired of the standard 9-5 lifestyle.

I recently moved into what I thought would be a calmer industry hoping for less stress, but it feels like every company is trying to operate with fewer staff while expecting the same or more output from everyone.

A couple years ago I was homeless, so I’m genuinely grateful to have stable employment and be in a better position now. I grew up with very little security or stability, so losing income is something that scares me a lot. I don’t want to quit impulsively and end up back in that situation.

But at the same time, I can feel the constant stress catching up to me physically and mentally. My body feels weaker, I’m mentally exhausted, and I haven’t even had access to vacation time yet at my current job.

I’m hardworking and motivated, but I want more flexibility in life. I want to be able to go to the gym at 3 PM sometimes instead of commuting home after 5 PM exhausted. I want time to actually live.

I tried entrepreneurship in an area I was passionate about, but it’s a heavily regulated field and it felt almost impossible for a small startup to realistically break in or win contracts. The financial risk feels too high for me right now given my background.

The hard part is that I’m kind of a generalist. I have experience across writing, tech, compliance, operations, management, strategy, etc., but not one hyper-specialized skill that clearly points to a flexible career path.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What careers or paths actually offer flexibility, decent income, and some level of stability without completely burning you out?

Hi everyone,

I transitioned into a cybersecurity GRC role about a month ago because I thought it would be a bit calmer than my previous job while also giving me good long term growth opportunities. So far, I’ve found the work interesting, but I’m still unsure whether this is something I want to do long term.

One thing that surprised me is the work culture. I did not expect everyone to leave early every day or anything like that, but I also did not expect to constantly see people online before I start work and still online after I leave, both on remote and in person days.

Leadership has also mentioned there are no plans to increase headcount in cybersecurity despite taking on more clients and adding AI into workflows. Our dashboards also constantly show that teams are behind on tasks.

Another thing I noticed is that many people stay at this company for a very long time, but promotions do not seem to happen very often.

Is this normal across most companies in cybersecurity/GRC?

In my previous role, we mainly had core hours where everyone needed to be available for meetings, but outside of that people managed their own schedules as long as the work got done. I’m trying to understand whether what I’m seeing now is just this company or more of an industry standard.

Hi everyone,

I transitioned into a cybersecurity GRC role about a month ago because I thought it would be a bit calmer than my previous job while also giving me good long term growth opportunities. So far, I’ve found the work interesting, but I’m still unsure whether this is something I want to do long term.

One thing that surprised me is the work culture. I did not expect everyone to leave early every day or anything like that, but I also did not expect to constantly see people online before I start work and still online after I leave, both on remote and in person days.

Leadership has also mentioned there are no plans to increase headcount in cybersecurity despite taking on more clients and adding AI into workflows. Our dashboards also constantly show that teams are behind on tasks.

Another thing I noticed is that many people stay at this company for a very long time, but promotions do not seem to happen very often.

Is this normal across most companies in cybersecurity/GRC?

In my previous role, we mainly had core hours where everyone needed to be available for meetings, but outside of that people managed their own schedules as long as the work got done. I’m trying to understand whether what I’m seeing now is just this company or more of an industry standard.

I want to learn a practical hands on skill over the next few months that could eventually turn into side income or even a second career. I am looking for something that costs less than around $100 to start learning and ideally something where after maybe 50 to 60 hours of real practice I could start making at least a little money from it. I work/study during the day so this would mostly be evenings and weekends.

I am open to almost anything whether that is repair work, trades related skills, creative work, technical skills, or something service based. The biggest thing is that it has actual market demand and a realistic path from beginner to earning money. I also live in an apartment and do not really have access to tools, garage space, or random appliances/machines lying around to practice repairing on.

Would love to hear from people who actually learned a skill from scratch and turned it into income. What has the best balance of low startup cost, reasonable learning curve, and demand right now?

Hey everyone,

I was fortunate to land a last-minute internship in risk and compliance at a mid-sized tech company in a stable industry, and I’m trying to get a better idea of what I’m walking into. The team seems fairly small, with a mix of people who have been there for over 20 years and others who joined more recently, so I’m not sure what to expect in terms of culture or day-to-day work.

I’m especially curious about what interns in these types of roles usually do. What does a typical day look like, and how does the work evolve from the first few weeks to later in the internship? During the interview, I realized I didn’t fully understand a lot of the terminology being used or how everything connects, like SIEM tools or risk frameworks. I have some prior tech experience, but this will be my first time working in cybersecurity.

Right now, I’ve just been trying to prepare by memorizing keywords from the job description and watching introductory videos on topics that came up, but I’m not sure if that’s the most effective way to get ready.

I’d really appreciate any advice on how to prepare before starting, what actually matters to focus on versus what’s just surface-level knowledge, and how to ramp up quickly without feeling overwhelmed. I’m also trying to figure out how to stand out and ideally secure a return offer, so any insight into what managers look for in interns in this space would be really helpful. Since the internship is around 16 weeks, I’d also love to know if there are any milestones or goals I should aim for throughout the term.

Thanks in advance for any advice or insight.

Hey everyone,

I’m part of the graduating class of 2027 and wanted to get some perspective from people who are already in the workforce or recently went through this.

The job market right now feels… pretty uncertain. There’s a lot of talk about fewer entry-level roles, more competition, and companies expecting experience for “junior” positions. It’s a bit hard to gauge what the next year or two will actually look like.

I’d love to hear advice for people in different situations:

If you have internships, what should you be doing now to maximize your chances of landing a full-time role?

If you don’t have internships yet, what’s the best way to catch up or stay competitive?

For those who got return offers, what made the difference?

For those who didn’t get return offers, what did you do next?

Also curious about a few broader things:

What skills (technical or non-technical) do you think are actually worth focusing on over the next year?

What should students be spending their time on right now?

How do you deal with the anxiety and uncertainty around graduating into an unclear job market?

And realistically, if things don’t go as planned:

What are some good temporary jobs people can pivot into while continuing the search?

Any advice on making a short-term pivot without completely derailing your long-term career?

I’m sure a lot of us are feeling some version of this right now, so any honest insight (good or bad) would be really appreciated.

Thanks in advance

Hey everyone,

I’m part of the graduating class of 2027 and wanted to get some perspective from people who are already in the workforce or recently went through this.

The job market right now feels… pretty uncertain. There’s a lot of talk about fewer entry-level roles, more competition, and companies expecting experience for “junior” positions. It’s a bit hard to gauge what the next year or two will actually look like.

I’d love to hear advice for people in different situations:

If you have internships, what should you be doing now to maximize your chances of landing a full-time role?

If you don’t have internships yet, what’s the best way to catch up or stay competitive?

For those who got return offers, what made the difference?

For those who didn’t get return offers, what did you do next?

Also curious about a few broader things:

What skills (technical or non-technical) do you think are actually worth focusing on over the next year?

What should students be spending their time on right now?

How do you deal with the anxiety and uncertainty around graduating into an unclear job market?

And realistically, if things don’t go as planned:

What are some good temporary jobs people can pivot into while continuing the search?

Any advice on making a short-term pivot without completely derailing your long-term career?

I’m sure a lot of us are feeling some version of this right now, so any honest insight (good or bad) would be really appreciated.

Thanks in advance

Hey everyone,

I’m part of the graduating class of 2027 and wanted to get some perspective from people who are already in the workforce or recently went through this.

The job market right now feels… pretty uncertain. There’s a lot of talk about fewer entry-level roles, more competition, and companies expecting experience for “junior” positions. It’s a bit hard to gauge what the next year or two will actually look like.

I’d love to hear advice for people in different situations:

If you have internships, what should you be doing now to maximize your chances of landing a full-time role?

If you don’t have internships yet, what’s the best way to catch up or stay competitive?

For those who got return offers, what made the difference?

For those who didn’t get return offers, what did you do next?

Also curious about a few broader things:

What skills (technical or non-technical) do you think are actually worth focusing on over the next year?

What should students be spending their time on right now?

How do you deal with the anxiety and uncertainty around graduating into an unclear job market?

And realistically, if things don’t go as planned:

What are some good temporary jobs people can pivot into while continuing the search?

Any advice on making a short-term pivot without completely derailing your long-term career?

I’m sure a lot of us are feeling some version of this right now, so any honest insight (good or bad) would be really appreciated.

Thanks in advance

I’m about to start working full-time and I’m seriously considering running in ~3 years. I don’t come from a political science background (STEM), so I’m trying to think about this in a practical, systems way.

Some constraints I’m dealing with:

I likely can’t win running independently at a very local level turnout patterns + name recognition + ballot order

I’m a person of colour, and while my community is large, turnout is low (especially renters / non-property owners), and voting behaviour isn’t always policy-driven

Because of that, I think I need party backing rather than running solo.

Realistically, I’d need to run left-leaning, both because of my own views (healthcare, education) and because I don’t see viable support on the right in my area

One of the main local party organizations doesn’t like me due to past disagreements (long story), so I’m somewhat blocked from their internal networks and local endorsements

I already have working relationships with elected officials and staff across parties, but none of that translates into local organizational support or influence over my nomination.

Rough numbers:

~300 voters decide internal party backing

~5 political staffers among those 300 have outsized influence; they understand the system better than I do, though that seems to matter more for staff dynamics than for local candidates themselves

~500 potential donors (small + mid-level)

My rough idea so far:

Position myself as a “local candidate” vs parachuted candidates

Build credibility through working with elected officials (even outside my riding)

Stay part-time involved (evenings/weekends), not full-time politics

Lean into a STEM + policy niche (tech, AI, public sector efficiency, etc.)

Where I’m stuck:

If you’re blocked by a local party executive, how do you realistically work around that?

Is it smarter to target the nomination (300 voters) vs broader public early on?

How do you increase turnout in low-propensity groups in a real, non-hand-wavy way?

How do you build influence when you don’t come from money or legacy networks?

Is 3 years enough time to build this from scratch while working full-time?

I’m not looking for idealistic answers, more like what actually works in practice. Especially interested in hearing from people who’ve worked on campaigns, nominations, or party ops.

Appreciate any real advice.

I’m about to start working full-time and I’m seriously considering running in ~3 years. I don’t come from a political science background (STEM), so I’m trying to think about this in a practical, systems way.

Some constraints I’m dealing with:

I likely can’t win running independently at a very local level turnout patterns + name recognition + ballot order

I’m a person of colour, and while my community is large, turnout is low (especially renters / non-property owners), and voting behaviour isn’t always policy-driven

Because of that, I think I need party backing rather than running solo.

Realistically, I’d need to run left-leaning, both because of my own views (healthcare, education) and because I don’t see viable support on the right in my area

One of the main local party organizations doesn’t like me due to past disagreements (long story), so I’m somewhat blocked from their internal networks and local endorsements

I already have working relationships with elected officials and staff across parties, but none of that translates into local organizational support or influence over my nomination.

Rough numbers:

~300 voters decide internal party backing

~5 political staffers among those 300 have outsized influence; they understand the system better than I do, though that seems to matter more for staff dynamics than for local candidates themselves

~500 potential donors (small + mid-level)

My rough idea so far:

Position myself as a “local candidate” vs parachuted candidates

Build credibility through working with elected officials (even outside my riding)

Stay part-time involved (evenings/weekends), not full-time politics

Lean into a STEM + policy niche (tech, AI, public sector efficiency, etc.)

Where I’m stuck:

If you’re blocked by a local party executive, how do you realistically work around that?

Is it smarter to target the nomination (300 voters) vs broader public early on?

How do you increase turnout in low-propensity groups in a real, non-hand-wavy way?

How do you build influence when you don’t come from money or legacy networks?

Is 3 years enough time to build this from scratch while working full-time?

I’m not looking for idealistic answers, more like what actually works in practice. Especially interested in hearing from people who’ve worked on campaigns, nominations, or party ops.

Appreciate any real advice.

I’m about to start working full-time and I’m seriously considering running in ~3 years. I don’t come from a political science background (STEM), so I’m trying to think about this in a practical, systems way.

Some constraints I’m dealing with:

I likely can’t win running independently at a very local level turnout patterns + name recognition + ballot order

I’m a person of colour, and while my community is large, turnout is low (especially renters / non-property owners), and voting behaviour isn’t always policy-driven

Because of that, I think I need party backing rather than running solo.

Realistically, I’d need to run left-leaning, both because of my own views (healthcare, education) and because I don’t see viable support on the right in my area

One of the main local party organizations doesn’t like me due to past disagreements (long story), so I’m somewhat blocked from their internal networks and local endorsements

I already have working relationships with elected officials and staff across parties, but none of that translates into local organizational support or influence over my nomination.

Rough numbers:

~300 voters decide internal party backing

~5 political staffers among those 300 have outsized influence; they understand the system better than I do, though that seems to matter more for staff dynamics than for local candidates themselves

~500 potential donors (small + mid-level)

My rough idea so far:

Position myself as a “local candidate” vs parachuted candidates

Build credibility through working with elected officials (even outside my riding)

Stay part-time involved (evenings/weekends), not full-time politics

Lean into a STEM + policy niche (tech, AI, public sector efficiency, etc.)

Where I’m stuck:

If you’re blocked by a local party executive, how do you realistically work around that?

Is it smarter to target the nomination (300 voters) vs broader public early on?

How do you increase turnout in low-propensity groups in a real, non-hand-wavy way?

How do you build influence when you don’t come from money or legacy networks?

Is 3 years enough time to build this from scratch while working full-time?

I’m not looking for idealistic answers, more like what actually works in practice. Especially interested in hearing from people who’ve worked on campaigns, nominations, or party ops.

Appreciate any real advice.

Hey everyone,

I’ve put on some weight recently due to health reasons and need to pick up a few work clothes for the next couple months while I work on getting back in shape.

I’m not trying to rebuild my whole wardrobe, just looking for a few solid pieces to get me through the summer. I work in an office (business casual), so ideally something that still looks professional but is breathable and comfortable in the heat.

I’ve actually had decent luck with pants on Amazon, but for shirts and maybe a light jacket/coat I’d really prefer to try things on in person.

Main things I’m looking for:

Bigger sizes / relaxed fits

Breathable materials (linen, cotton, etc.)

Budget-friendly (don’t want to spend a lot since this is temporary)

Office-appropriate

Any recommendations for stores in Toronto (or GTA) that are good for this? Especially places that don’t break the bank.

Appreciate any help thanks