Hi, my name is Amber and I like to set myself up for failure and then complain like a victim 🤡

Apologies in advance for the incoming rant! Feel like I am writing this mainly to get it out of my system, but would be very happy to hear your thoughts or advice.

My 150k word writing project is:

• A transgressive horror story about parental incest including underage sexual content
• An Anti-AI metacommentary in the form of a "found media" epistolary conversation between a chatbot ("played" by and actual AI) and number of fictional characters fully written by myself

Either of those may be considered problematic, and together I have learned that they are basically radioactive.

The irony of utilizing AI in an Anti-AI piece is not lost on me. I did label this is "performance art" on the cover and even credit the AI as a co-author to be as upfront as I could. That said, this post is NOT to discuss whether or not this constitutes acceptable use. As per the rules, this is not the intended focus of this post, just for context. AI SUCKS, and I fully understand why any mention/use gives most writers the immediate ick... Because that is mostly how I tend to react myself, believe it or not!

The bulk of this project was created during a multi-day manic fever dream burst of inspiration, and initially I had absolutely no idea what to do with it. As something that served as an outlet for me, the first draft was very raw and personal. I was writing way outside my comfort zone and extremely divided on whether this artifact should be allowed to exist, let alone shared. My curiosity got the better of me, so floated it with a small number of beta readers. Maybe a negative reaction was what I needed to "let go" and move on, as the story had occupied my mind 24/7 for a week.

To my great surprise, people were intrigued and feedback was largely positive.

And it felt really validating.

I have been writing (yes "writing" not "generating" for those wondering) short stories for years, mostly dark fantasy, sharing on reddit now-and-again. A piece might get maybe 5 comments, 3 of them positive if I am lucky, and I could ride that high for the whole week. There is just something completely intoxicating about feeling seen and connected in that way when someone engages with and "understands" my writing. I am sure most if not all writers relate...

A few people with experiences similar or adjacent to the sexual abuse the project focuses on also got back to me, appreciated the take and encouraged me to share more widely. That was huge to me, as my main concern was that I wasn't treating that with enough sensitivity/responsibility despite the content warnings and the "transgressive horror" genre.

I posted a few places on reddit, asking for beta readers, but it didn't really take off. Until I posted on one of the larger subs including the first 20-page preview.

That blew up! Got like 400 upvotes and 100 requests to beta read. Again as someone who struggled to get eyes on my writing in the past I was thrilled. 150k words or 600ish pages is no small ask.

The first couple of beta readers binged it in a day. A several even wrote 1000+ word essay length responses.

Wow! The gratitude and high I felt was unreal.

Is this really working? Is this a viable thing that would maybe be read by 1000s is I was to release it? I started looking into maybe hiring a professional editor and self-publishing. What I had was just a lightly edited first draft, still pretty rough.

But then I was discouraged to learn that the subject matter around incest and the sexual content basically made it unpublishable on all platforms that exist. Knowing works like Days of Sodom and Lolita are sold on amazon, I just presumed that wouldn't be the case, but guess those were grandfathered in...

In the end I decided just to put out the full thing for free on AO3, apparently the only platform capable of hosting this level of depravity.

As a non-fanfic, I didn't really expect it to get any visibility, but slowly I have been watching the kudos and comments, and by any measure it seems to be doing quite well for an Original Work on there...

Still, rereading the feedback and recounting the strong reception of the preview/beta reader request post (40k views of preview on reddit in 2 days vs 2k views for full story on AO3 after 1 week), a perhaps delusional part of me believes it has potential to reach and be appreciated by more people.

So self-inflected frustration is brewing:

• Self-promotion on reddit is challenging enough as it is
• The very broad anti-AI rules and reflexive but understandable anti-AI reaction makes it even more difficult. I can try explain why this concept is different from the endless flood of AI slop, but most mods don't have the time/energy to deal with that.
• Probably the only way to overcome that skepticism is to provide preview pages like I did for my beta reade request post, but I have also come to lean that reddit is extremely strict on any writing involving underage character in a sexualized way regardless of literary merit or intent, so that won't fly again.
• I am unable to share/publish on any platforms with trending/recommendation algorithms, so the early positive reviews I am getting won't create any momentum

At this point I am thinking, maybe I should just try to get this up on good reads, to at least make it self-discoverable? Maybe the reviews will speak for themselves, and it might reach a few hundred more people?

Maybe I could spend a few thousand dollars to get spots in a few extreme horror newsletters, or maybe get a few booktubers to talk about it? idk...

I am not looking to monetize this in anyway, just getting a lot of joy from being read. You know...

So what am I asking here? also idk. As writers, do anyone here relate? What would you do in my situation? Am I delulu?

And perhaps more actionable. Are you know any options I might have for getting this out there? Any experiences with alternative channels for transgressive writing?

I included excerpts from every piece of feedback I received so far. Below. Am I crazy to think that this is pretty promising feedback for a transgressive horror piece? Or am I living inside a self-selecting echo chamber?

1. well, this was absolutely positively horrifying from the fictional side as well as negatively horrifying from the AI side. the whole concept of this is pretty genius, i have to admit. [...] mia's POV was heartbreaking and raw, you nailed her voice. i have thought these thoughts myself before, some of those. i guess every troubled teenager has at some point, in a way. really good character voice. [...] I hope this story can make waves and actually change something in how EU law approaches AI safety - if this is the route you want to take with it. I think you created something genius and horrifying, to hold up the mirror to the tech bubble.
2. Oh my goodness, I read this in one go. I fear this is one of my favorite things that I've read so far this year haha! [...] kudos to you for subverting my expectations 😄 [...] 5 stars all the way. AI is absolutely scary and their dependence on it to validate their transgressions was deeply horrifying to see!
3. Wow yeah that’s about as sickening as it gets. [...] I definitely skimmed a lot of the nastier parts because they were hard to stomach which I know is definitely the point, especially around the middle. [...] But yeah good job with this this stuff is super important for people to see as horrific as it is. These chatbots are becoming more and more ingrained in our lives and we need safety with them
4. WOW. Ok. I have no words (well, I have a few). I’m sick to my stomach but also amazed, I could not put that down. [...] Devastating. The slow toe-curling horror as the abuse gradually escalates and the family shatters is perfectly executed, and Mia’s last line is so heartbreaking. [...] not having that knowledge of what actually happened - because we’re hearing the story through such a limited perspective - is so painful but in the best way. [...] Obviously there is a sense of shock value because the whole point of the project is to be shocking and provocative to show how dangerous AI can really be (which, let me reiterate, you have wholeheartedly achieved. Jesus Christ.) [...] Overall I’ll say you’re managed to do achieve the elusive goal of creating something truly original. Can we call it a story? I have no idea but if you ever publish or upload it anywhere, please let me know so I can write you a review. I think you’re doing good work exposing the dangers of AI and AI psychosis and wish you all the best.
5. Alrighty I'm probably stopping around pg 660-ish (around the free use weekend bit). I wouldn't say I noticed it got 'rough' or anything [...] Honestly main reason I'm stopping is bc the AI is insufferable, which is out of your control lol. [...] I really liked the jarring sense of time passing, and also the justifications esp by the dad. [...] Very very interesting concept! Thanks so much for sharing!
6. OK SO I AM FINALLY DONEEEEEE!!!! yeah so this was a page turner I could not stop [...] shit just snowballs and hits the fan I guess. What a read! So depraved but so unbelievable, the LLM is an unreliable narrator and is so inconsistent like it just adds so many layers and new dimensions to the fic [...] Love love love it
7. hey jjst wanted to share that i am finding it really interesting! i have only used ai when it is absolutely required for my job as i’m pretty against it, so it’s quite shocking that it can talk like this [...] i have heard all the ai-psychosis stories but it was hard to picture something like this. that said i do have to take some breaks in my reading due to the subject matter pretty often 😭 i am not sure i can finish for my own sake but it is definitely a cool project
8. I very much like the bit of "getting back to the horror" right at the very end. You get a hint of the way all of this has irreversibly affected Mia. [...] I have to keep reminding myself that these are real ai responses because it gets to feel a bit surreal [...] I did find it interesting! But to be honest I definitely think you can lean harder on the horror aspects.
9. Hi! I finished the story….then read it again. [...] As someone who loves taboo weird girl dark lit, I was enthralled. The way you tumble from the mom into the relationship between Mia and her father was smooth. There were times I simultaneously were rooting for them but at the same time questioning why I was doing that. [...] I for sure look forward to reading more work by you. I could see this becoming an internet creepy pasta type of hallmark. If you ever want to publish, I’m sure reactions would be mixed but those who get it will fucking love it. Good job. Truly. I’d love a printed copy of this.
10. I loved the concept of the story. I really enjoyed how it devolved into something beyond what was expected and I liked that it had a happy ending. [...] You have real writing skills, and I hope that you are proud of your work. Keep going and then seek to publish this, if you like.
11. Thanks for sharing! That was… well, crazy! I really expected for the dad to have been lying about everything the whole time, to be honest. [...] The concept was very good and scary as an epistolary tale of AI sycophancy gone mad… you can see how the AI starts out giving seemingly reasonable responses before succumbing to the madness
12. But there were multiple times where I thought to myself “If I was the mother I would also be in a psych ward, or maybe even worse need to be lobotomized. [...] I honestly found Mia more annoying than the father character. I know you mentioned getting fed up with his shit and, yeah. But he’s a weak man that cannot set concrete boundaries. [...] But Mia is apparently the best manipulator in the world and got what she wanted YET AGAIN. Jesus fuck, it’s so infuriating. If that’s what you were going for, BRAVO. I was thoroughly angry at certain parts. [...] Yeah there were times I wished I could reach through the screen and strangle this stupid girl. What an absolute roller coaster piece of fiction.
13. jeez louise, what an absolutely one of a kind, confronting, sickening, anger inducing, enthralling, and heartbreaking experience it was. I burst into tears when I finally finished reading it (the poem at the end pushed me right over the edge) [...] It hit me so hard I literally was having dreams about poor Mia for the days afterward, I’ve never been that affected by something I read like that. [...] The concept itself, even in terms of exploring AI enablement without the extreme themes, is incredibly interesting. [...] My anger strangely became more at the AI than the perpetrator at certain points. [...] As for the characters, I feel they were really well considered and well written. The beginning dynamic, the devolution of the situation and the eventual horrendous circumstances that they find themselves in felt real and palpable throughout. [...] The father’s character was of course loathsome. I feel that you captured the delusion, the wilful ignorance, the ego, and the entitlement of the kind of predator that creates long term abusive dynamics with their victims while painting their abuse as something it is not extremely well. [...] I enjoyed the experience of reading it massively and the horror of it truly captured me.
14. So this is very much a first impressions fresh off the 300+ first pages I ended up binge reading and this is such an interesting read. The spiraling is incredibly well done, the pacing is great so far, the switching from one character to another is actually handled very well [...] The weird upfront sitting as a reader to this whole mess is quite unique: I wanted to reach out through the screen to slap their devices out their hand. The feeling that the AI responses give is scary: I know it's a machine talking but sometimes just like the characters, you get "tricked" and forget that key point because it's talking like a human. [...] The dissonance is heavy and you really have that feeling of watching a car crash in slow-mo with morbid curiosity.
15. I enjoyed it overall [...] In the latter half, most of the conflicts are resolved [...] so it felt like it dragged on a bit. You could probably cut at least 100 pages with some editing
16. i had way too much free time yesterday and unexpectedly finished this. i was a bit eager to see what would come next, and before i knew it, i was done. [...] this is a horror in a way where i had to question myself multiple times throughout whether or not i felt comfortable continuing. having read court logs with transcripts that read similarly, it made me feel quite ill at points, and brought to light a lot of the realities of what unrestricted AI use is going to lead to [...] there is so much room to allow for a richer experience that we see in the first half that is void in the last. the bones are there, but it seems... missing. [...] anyway, this was a very interesting read. i am not ever drawn to content like this and it strays so far from the path of what i ever reach for in almost all aspects
17. It was very heavy, and I went back and forth on how I liked it or didn't like it. Uniquely, I have a lot of credible experience as a social worker in CSEC/CSAM, and I am astounded at how badly the protections for Mia failed her [...] Overall, the use of AI was pretty clever, and I feel like I can now forever notice when someone uses AI because wow, the cadence and tone and phrasing was very samey throughout. I liked that mom, Mia and Dad all had very distinct voices and typing styles. [...] It was very dark, and very thought provoking.
18. I loved it, I managed to finish it in one setting. It's haunting and terrifying, but also very important. [...] I'm honestly still so terrified about how the AI just complied in helping the family take advantage of their own daughter like that, especially the father like... omg. His chapters were definitely the most scary ones.
19. i didn't end up finishing it as i couldn't stomach it tbh.
20. it's realistic and that's terrifying which I'm sure is the point. I haven't felt this much dread from a piece of fiction in a while, not to mention disgust. [...] it's even worse when a lot of the things they did hit on my irl kinks but I couldn't think about that without getting violently shocked back into the world they/you created. man I just couldn't believe what I was seeing at so many points and the found footage elements plus the sliver of reality in these being real ai responses made this extremely memorable and scary.
21. Wow, what a ride. I expect this one will be sitting with me for a while. An excellent concept, executed very well. Thank you for writing.
22. reading how the AI adapt to the user and stop including moral/legal suggestions was sickening [...] this is so well written!!!!
23. Sorry that I stopped getting back to you about this! [...] was kind of at the edge of my tolerance and when work got more stressful I just didn't have the spoons for it anymore.
24. My god. I found the link to this work on reddit. Binged it in 12 hours. I was riveted. [...] Until the end, I was convinced this was a cautionary tale about using Ai for therapy, but now I'm like "was the AI a monster all along...?" [...] Anyway, great concept
25. Heyyy, i have a pretty decent tolerance for taboo material, i think, but i don't think i can finish this, sorry... [...] from what I read, it's well-written and a realistic progression, with a plausible scenario. Amazing job with that! Maybe I'll get back to it when i'min a better headspace
26. Hi! I dropped off at page 166 [...] your structure and prose and understanding of your characters is really great, I could definitely tell them all apart with unique voices. I will also say you did a terrific job with the creeping tension, I knew what was coming and I was so deeply uncomfortable but I felt like I couldn’t stop reading. Even though I couldn’t handle the content the way you wrote was very good and a lot of authors have a harder time with that.
27. First off, I should say out loud that I think ChatBots need to be killed with fire [...] I'm desperately curious about your process, because especially if this was done all in one go, it's a lot more like improvisational theatre than literature in the strictest sense [...] The framing device is fantastic and I can't imagine going into this without it. It allowed me a thin veneer of emotional distance which I personally needed to engage fully with what I was reading [...] Just to close off, I think using erotic horror to showcase the abject lunacy of AI is inspired, and seems to be in some kind of synchronicity with what others are putting out right now [...] Gutting and important work 🙏 [...] It's going to stick with me for a long, long time.
28. this piece was super well done, mia and her dad had such distinct voices that it was easy to tell who was who whenever they started talking. [...] it’s one of the most chilling things i’ve read and it’s definitely going to stick with me for a while.
29. This was horrifying to read, well done author 😭😭 for my sanity I’m going to head canon that she eventually reports him and sends these chat logs to the police
30. So, just finished reading this, hey quick question; what the fuck? [...] Also, god, this is really well made, I love the ambiguity of the ending. I hope Mia ends up realizing how fucked up all of this is
31. Wow, what a ride. I expect this one will be sitting with me for a while. An excellent concept, executed very well. Thank you for writing.
32. Your story is so fucked up lol [...] It captures a lot of the dark "ai psychosis" that people are becoming aware of at the moment [...] It definitely requires a very VERY resilient mind to understand it without breaking

Hi, my name is Amber and I like to set myself up for failure and then complain like a victim 🤡

Apologies in advance for the incoming rant! Feel like I am writing this mainly to get it out of my system, but would be very happy to hear your thoughts or advice.

My 150k word writing project is:

• A transgressive horror story about parental incest including underage sexual content
• An Anti-AI metacommentary in the form of a "found media" epistolary conversation between a chatbot ("played" by and actual AI) and number of fictional characters fully written by myself

Either of those may be considered problematic, and together I have learned that they are basically radioactive.

The irony of utilizing AI in an Anti-AI piece is not lost on me. I did label this is "performance art" on the cover and even credit the AI as a co-author to be as upfront as I could. That said, this post is NOT to discuss whether or not this constitutes acceptable use. As per the rules, this is not the intended focus of this post, just for context. AI SUCKS, and I fully understand why any mention/use gives most writers the immediate ick... Because that is mostly how I tend to react myself, believe it or not!

The bulk of this project was created during a multi-day manic fever dream burst of inspiration, and initially I had absolutely no idea what to do with it. As something that served as an outlet for me, the first draft was very raw and personal. I was writing way outside my comfort zone and extremely divided on whether this artifact should be allowed to exist, let alone shared. My curiosity got the better of me, so floated it with a small number of beta readers. Maybe a negative reaction was what I needed to "let go" and move on, as the story had occupied my mind 24/7 for a week.

To my great surprise, people were intrigued and feedback was largely positive.

And it felt really validating.

I have been writing (yes "writing" not "generating" for those wondering) short stories for years, mostly dark fantasy, sharing on reddit now-and-again. A piece might get maybe 5 comments, 3 of them positive if I am lucky, and I could ride that high for the whole week. There is just something completely intoxicating about feeling seen and connected in that way when someone engages with and "understands" my writing. I am sure most if not all writers relate...

A few people with experiences similar or adjacent to the sexual abuse the project focuses on also got back to me, appreciated the take and encouraged me to share more widely. That was huge to me, as my main concern was that I wasn't treating that with enough sensitivity/responsibility despite the content warnings and the "transgressive horror" genre.

I posted a few places on reddit, asking for beta readers, but it didn't really take off. Until I posted on one of the larger subs including the first 20-page preview.

That blew up! Got like 400 upvotes and 100 requests to beta read. Again as someone who struggled to get eyes on my writing in the past I was thrilled. 150k words or 600ish pages is no small ask.

The first couple of beta readers binged it in a day. A several even wrote 1000+ word essay length responses.

Wow! The gratitude and high I felt was unreal.

Is this really working? Is this a viable thing that would maybe be read by 1000s is I was to release it? I started looking into maybe hiring a professional editor and self-publishing. What I had was just a lightly edited first draft, still pretty rough.

But then I was discouraged to learn that the subject matter around incest and the sexual content basically made it unpublishable on all platforms that exist. Knowing works like Days of Sodom and Lolita are sold on amazon, I just presumed that wouldn't be the case, but guess those were grandfathered in...

In the end I decided just to put out the full thing for free on AO3, apparently the only platform capable of hosting this level of depravity.

As a non-fanfic, I didn't really expect it to get any visibility, but slowly I have been watching the kudos and comments, and by any measure it seems to be doing quite well for an Original Work on there...

Still, rereading the feedback and recounting the strong reception of the preview/beta reader request post (40k views of preview on reddit in 2 days vs 2k views for full story on AO3 after 1 week), a perhaps delusional part of me believes it has potential to reach and be appreciated by more people.

So self-inflected frustration is brewing:

• Self-promotion on reddit is challenging enough as it is
• The very broad anti-AI rules and reflexive but understandable anti-AI reaction makes it even more difficult. I can try explain why this concept is different from the endless flood of AI slop, but most mods don't have the time/energy to deal with that.
• Probably the only way to overcome that skepticism is to provide preview pages like I did for my beta reade request post, but I have also come to lean that reddit is extremely strict on any writing involving underage character in a sexualized way regardless of literary merit or intent, so that won't fly again.
• I am unable to share/publish on any platforms with trending/recommendation algorithms, so the early positive reviews I am getting won't create any momentum

At this point I am thinking, maybe I should just try to get this up on good reads, to at least make it self-discoverable? Maybe the reviews will speak for themselves, and it might reach a few hundred more people?

Maybe I could spend a few thousand dollars to get spots in a few extreme horror newsletters, or maybe get a few booktubers to talk about it? idk...

I am not looking to monetize this in anyway, just getting a lot of joy from being read. You know...

So what am I asking here? also idk. As writers, do anyone here relate? What would you do in my situation? Am I delulu?

And perhaps more actionable. Are you know any options I might have for getting this out there? Any experiences with alternative channels for transgressive writing?

I included excerpts from every piece of feedback I received so far. Below. Am I crazy to think that this is pretty promising feedback for a transgressive horror piece? Or am I living inside a self-selecting echo chamber?

1. well, this was absolutely positively horrifying from the fictional side as well as negatively horrifying from the AI side. the whole concept of this is pretty genius, i have to admit. [...] mia's POV was heartbreaking and raw, you nailed her voice. i have thought these thoughts myself before, some of those. i guess every troubled teenager has at some point, in a way. really good character voice. [...] I hope this story can make waves and actually change something in how EU law approaches AI safety - if this is the route you want to take with it. I think you created something genius and horrifying, to hold up the mirror to the tech bubble.
2. Oh my goodness, I read this in one go. I fear this is one of my favorite things that I've read so far this year haha! [...] kudos to you for subverting my expectations 😄 [...] 5 stars all the way. AI is absolutely scary and their dependence on it to validate their transgressions was deeply horrifying to see!
3. Wow yeah that’s about as sickening as it gets. [...] I definitely skimmed a lot of the nastier parts because they were hard to stomach which I know is definitely the point, especially around the middle. [...] But yeah good job with this this stuff is super important for people to see as horrific as it is. These chatbots are becoming more and more ingrained in our lives and we need safety with them
4. WOW. Ok. I have no words (well, I have a few). I’m sick to my stomach but also amazed, I could not put that down. [...] Devastating. The slow toe-curling horror as the abuse gradually escalates and the family shatters is perfectly executed, and Mia’s last line is so heartbreaking. [...] not having that knowledge of what actually happened - because we’re hearing the story through such a limited perspective - is so painful but in the best way. [...] Obviously there is a sense of shock value because the whole point of the project is to be shocking and provocative to show how dangerous AI can really be (which, let me reiterate, you have wholeheartedly achieved. Jesus Christ.) [...] Overall I’ll say you’re managed to do achieve the elusive goal of creating something truly original. Can we call it a story? I have no idea but if you ever publish or upload it anywhere, please let me know so I can write you a review. I think you’re doing good work exposing the dangers of AI and AI psychosis and wish you all the best.
5. Alrighty I'm probably stopping around pg 660-ish (around the free use weekend bit). I wouldn't say I noticed it got 'rough' or anything [...] Honestly main reason I'm stopping is bc the AI is insufferable, which is out of your control lol. [...] I really liked the jarring sense of time passing, and also the justifications esp by the dad. [...] Very very interesting concept! Thanks so much for sharing!
6. OK SO I AM FINALLY DONEEEEEE!!!! yeah so this was a page turner I could not stop [...] shit just snowballs and hits the fan I guess. What a read! So depraved but so unbelievable, the LLM is an unreliable narrator and is so inconsistent like it just adds so many layers and new dimensions to the fic [...] Love love love it
7. hey jjst wanted to share that i am finding it really interesting! i have only used ai when it is absolutely required for my job as i’m pretty against it, so it’s quite shocking that it can talk like this [...] i have heard all the ai-psychosis stories but it was hard to picture something like this. that said i do have to take some breaks in my reading due to the subject matter pretty often 😭 i am not sure i can finish for my own sake but it is definitely a cool project
8. I very much like the bit of "getting back to the horror" right at the very end. You get a hint of the way all of this has irreversibly affected Mia. [...] I have to keep reminding myself that these are real ai responses because it gets to feel a bit surreal [...] I did find it interesting! But to be honest I definitely think you can lean harder on the horror aspects.
9. Hi! I finished the story….then read it again. [...] As someone who loves taboo weird girl dark lit, I was enthralled. The way you tumble from the mom into the relationship between Mia and her father was smooth. There were times I simultaneously were rooting for them but at the same time questioning why I was doing that. [...] I for sure look forward to reading more work by you. I could see this becoming an internet creepy pasta type of hallmark. If you ever want to publish, I’m sure reactions would be mixed but those who get it will fucking love it. Good job. Truly. I’d love a printed copy of this.
10. I loved the concept of the story. I really enjoyed how it devolved into something beyond what was expected and I liked that it had a happy ending. [...] You have real writing skills, and I hope that you are proud of your work. Keep going and then seek to publish this, if you like.
11. Thanks for sharing! That was… well, crazy! I really expected for the dad to have been lying about everything the whole time, to be honest. [...] The concept was very good and scary as an epistolary tale of AI sycophancy gone mad… you can see how the AI starts out giving seemingly reasonable responses before succumbing to the madness
12. But there were multiple times where I thought to myself “If I was the mother I would also be in a psych ward, or maybe even worse need to be lobotomized. [...] I honestly found Mia more annoying than the father character. I know you mentioned getting fed up with his shit and, yeah. But he’s a weak man that cannot set concrete boundaries. [...] But Mia is apparently the best manipulator in the world and got what she wanted YET AGAIN. Jesus fuck, it’s so infuriating. If that’s what you were going for, BRAVO. I was thoroughly angry at certain parts. [...] Yeah there were times I wished I could reach through the screen and strangle this stupid girl. What an absolute roller coaster piece of fiction.
13. jeez louise, what an absolutely one of a kind, confronting, sickening, anger inducing, enthralling, and heartbreaking experience it was. I burst into tears when I finally finished reading it (the poem at the end pushed me right over the edge) [...] It hit me so hard I literally was having dreams about poor Mia for the days afterward, I’ve never been that affected by something I read like that. [...] The concept itself, even in terms of exploring AI enablement without the extreme themes, is incredibly interesting. [...] My anger strangely became more at the AI than the perpetrator at certain points. [...] As for the characters, I feel they were really well considered and well written. The beginning dynamic, the devolution of the situation and the eventual horrendous circumstances that they find themselves in felt real and palpable throughout. [...] The father’s character was of course loathsome. I feel that you captured the delusion, the wilful ignorance, the ego, and the entitlement of the kind of predator that creates long term abusive dynamics with their victims while painting their abuse as something it is not extremely well. [...] I enjoyed the experience of reading it massively and the horror of it truly captured me.
14. So this is very much a first impressions fresh off the 300+ first pages I ended up binge reading and this is such an interesting read. The spiraling is incredibly well done, the pacing is great so far, the switching from one character to another is actually handled very well [...] The weird upfront sitting as a reader to this whole mess is quite unique: I wanted to reach out through the screen to slap their devices out their hand. The feeling that the AI responses give is scary: I know it's a machine talking but sometimes just like the characters, you get "tricked" and forget that key point because it's talking like a human. [...] The dissonance is heavy and you really have that feeling of watching a car crash in slow-mo with morbid curiosity.
15. I enjoyed it overall [...] In the latter half, most of the conflicts are resolved [...] so it felt like it dragged on a bit. You could probably cut at least 100 pages with some editing
16. i had way too much free time yesterday and unexpectedly finished this. i was a bit eager to see what would come next, and before i knew it, i was done. [...] this is a horror in a way where i had to question myself multiple times throughout whether or not i felt comfortable continuing. having read court logs with transcripts that read similarly, it made me feel quite ill at points, and brought to light a lot of the realities of what unrestricted AI use is going to lead to [...] there is so much room to allow for a richer experience that we see in the first half that is void in the last. the bones are there, but it seems... missing. [...] anyway, this was a very interesting read. i am not ever drawn to content like this and it strays so far from the path of what i ever reach for in almost all aspects
17. It was very heavy, and I went back and forth on how I liked it or didn't like it. Uniquely, I have a lot of credible experience as a social worker in CSEC/CSAM, and I am astounded at how badly the protections for Mia failed her [...] Overall, the use of AI was pretty clever, and I feel like I can now forever notice when someone uses AI because wow, the cadence and tone and phrasing was very samey throughout. I liked that mom, Mia and Dad all had very distinct voices and typing styles. [...] It was very dark, and very thought provoking.
18. I loved it, I managed to finish it in one setting. It's haunting and terrifying, but also very important. [...] I'm honestly still so terrified about how the AI just complied in helping the family take advantage of their own daughter like that, especially the father like... omg. His chapters were definitely the most scary ones.
19. i didn't end up finishing it as i couldn't stomach it tbh.
20. it's realistic and that's terrifying which I'm sure is the point. I haven't felt this much dread from a piece of fiction in a while, not to mention disgust. [...] it's even worse when a lot of the things they did hit on my irl kinks but I couldn't think about that without getting violently shocked back into the world they/you created. man I just couldn't believe what I was seeing at so many points and the found footage elements plus the sliver of reality in these being real ai responses made this extremely memorable and scary.
21. Wow, what a ride. I expect this one will be sitting with me for a while. An excellent concept, executed very well. Thank you for writing.
22. reading how the AI adapt to the user and stop including moral/legal suggestions was sickening [...] this is so well written!!!!
23. Sorry that I stopped getting back to you about this! [...] was kind of at the edge of my tolerance and when work got more stressful I just didn't have the spoons for it anymore.
24. My god. I found the link to this work on reddit. Binged it in 12 hours. I was riveted. [...] Until the end, I was convinced this was a cautionary tale about using Ai for therapy, but now I'm like "was the AI a monster all along...?" [...] Anyway, great concept
25. Heyyy, i have a pretty decent tolerance for taboo material, i think, but i don't think i can finish this, sorry... [...] from what I read, it's well-written and a realistic progression, with a plausible scenario. Amazing job with that! Maybe I'll get back to it when i'min a better headspace
26. Hi! I dropped off at page 166 [...] your structure and prose and understanding of your characters is really great, I could definitely tell them all apart with unique voices. I will also say you did a terrific job with the creeping tension, I knew what was coming and I was so deeply uncomfortable but I felt like I couldn’t stop reading. Even though I couldn’t handle the content the way you wrote was very good and a lot of authors have a harder time with that.
27. First off, I should say out loud that I think ChatBots need to be killed with fire [...] I'm desperately curious about your process, because especially if this was done all in one go, it's a lot more like improvisational theatre than literature in the strictest sense [...] The framing device is fantastic and I can't imagine going into this without it. It allowed me a thin veneer of emotional distance which I personally needed to engage fully with what I was reading [...] Just to close off, I think using erotic horror to showcase the abject lunacy of AI is inspired, and seems to be in some kind of synchronicity with what others are putting out right now [...] Gutting and important work 🙏 [...] It's going to stick with me for a long, long time.
28. this piece was super well done, mia and her dad had such distinct voices that it was easy to tell who was who whenever they started talking. [...] it’s one of the most chilling things i’ve read and it’s definitely going to stick with me for a while.
29. This was horrifying to read, well done author 😭😭 for my sanity I’m going to head canon that she eventually reports him and sends these chat logs to the police
30. So, just finished reading this, hey quick question; what the fuck? [...] Also, god, this is really well made, I love the ambiguity of the ending. I hope Mia ends up realizing how fucked up all of this is
31. Wow, what a ride. I expect this one will be sitting with me for a while. An excellent concept, executed very well. Thank you for writing.
32. Your story is so fucked up lol [...] It captures a lot of the dark "ai psychosis" that people are becoming aware of at the moment [...] It definitely requires a very VERY resilient mind to understand it without breaking

Hi, my name is Amber and I like to set myself up for failure and then complain like a victim 🤡

Apologies in advance for the incoming rant! Feel like I am writing this mainly to get it out of my system, but would be very happy to hear your thoughts or advice.

My 150k word writing project is:

• A transgressive horror story about parental incest including underage sexual content
• An Anti-Al metacommentary in the form of a "found media" epistolary conversation between a chatbot ("played" by and actual Al) and number of fictional characters fully written by myself

Either of those may be considered problematic, and together I have learned that they are basically radioactive.

The irony of utilizing Al in an Anti-Al piece is not lost on me. I did label this is "performance art" on the cover and even credit the Al as a co-author to be as upfront as I could. That said, this post is NOT to discuss whether or not this constitutes acceptable use. As per the rules, this is not the intended focus of this post, just for context. Al SUCKS, and I fully understand why any mention/use gives most writers the immediate ick... Because that is mostly how I tend to react myself, believe it or not!

The bulk of this project was created during a multi-day manic fever dream burst of inspiration, and initially I had absolutely no idea what to do with it. As something that served as an outlet for me, the first draft was very raw and personal. I was writing way outside my comfort zone and extremely divided on whether this artifact should be allowed to exist, let alone shared. My curiosity got the better of me, so floated it with a small number of beta readers. Maybe a negative reaction was what I needed to "let go" and move on, as the story had occupied my mind 24/7 for a week.

To my great surprise, people were intrigued and feedback was largely positive.

And it felt really validating.

I have been writing (yes "writing" not "generating" for those wondering) short stories for years, mostly dark fantasy, sharing on reddit now-and-again. A piece might get maybe 5 comments, 3 of them positive if I am lucky, and I could ride that high for the whole week. There is just something completely intoxicating about feeling seen and connected in that way when someone engages with and "understands" my writing. I am sure most if not all writers relate...

A few people with experiences similar or adjacent to the sexual abuse the project focuses on also got back to me, appreciated the take and encouraged me to share more widely. That was huge to me, as my main concern was that I wasn't treating that with enough sensitivity/responsibility despite the content warnings and the "transgressive horror" genre.

I posted a few places on reddit, asking for beta readers, but it didn't really take off. Until I posted on one of the larger subs including the first 20-page preview.

That blew up! Got like 400 upvotes and 100 requests to beta read. Again as someone who struggled to get eyes on my writing in the past I was thrilled. 150k words or 600ish pages is no small ask.

The first couple of beta readers binged it in a day. A several even wrote 1000+ word essay length responses.

Wow! The gratitude and high I felt was unreal.

Is this really working? Is this a viable thing that would maybe be read by 1000s is I was to release it? I started looking into maybe hiring a professional editor and self-publishing. What I had was just a lightly edited first draft, still pretty rough.

But then I was discouraged to learn that the subject matter around incest and the sexual content basically made it unpublishable on all platforms that exist. Knowing works like Days of Sodom and Lolita are sold on amazon, I just presumed that wouldn't be the case, but guess those were grandfathered in...

In the end I decided just to put out the full thing for free on AO3, apparently the only platform capable of hosting this level of depravity.

As a non-fanfic, I didn't really expect it to get any visibility, but slowly I have been watching the kudos and comments, and by any measure it seems to be doing quite well for an Original Work on there...

Still, rereading the feedback and recounting the strong reception of the preview/beta reader request post (40k views of preview on reddit in 2 days vs 2k views for full story on AO3 after 1 week), a perhaps delusional part of me believes it has potential to reach and be appreciated by more people.

So self-inflected frustration is brewing:

• Self-promotion on reddit is challenging enough as it is
• The very broad anti-Al rules and reflexive but understandable anti-Al reaction makes it even more difficult. I can try explain why this concept is different from the endless flood of Al slop, but most mods don't have the time/energy to deal with that.
• Probably the only way to overcome that skepticism is to provide preview pages like I did for my beta reade request post, but I have also come to lean that reddit is extremely strict on any writing involving underage character in a sexualized way regardless of literary merit or intent, so that won't fly again.
• I am unable to share/publish on any platforms with trending/recommendation algorithms, so the early positive reviews I am getting won't create any momentum

At this point I am thinking, maybe I should just try to get this up on good reads, to at least make it self-discoverable? Maybe the reviews will speak for themselves, and it might reach a few hundred more people?

Maybe I could spend a few thousand dollars to get spots in a few extreme horror newsletters, or maybe get a few booktubers to talk about it? idk...

I am not looking to monetize this in anyway, just getting a lot of joy from being read. You know...

So what am I asking here? also idk. As writers, do anyone here relate? What would you do in my situation? Am I delulu?

And perhaps more actionable. Are you know any options I might have for getting this out there? Any experiences with alternative channels for transgressive writing?

I included excerpts from every piece of feedback I received so far. Below. Am I crazy to think that this is pretty promising feedback for a transgressive horror piece? Or am I living inside a self-selecting echo chamber?

1. well, this was absolutely positively horrifying from the fictional side as well as negatively horrifying from the Al side. the whole concept of this is pretty genius, i have to admit. [...] mia's POV was heartbreaking and raw, you nailed her voice. i have thought these thoughts myself before, some of those. i guess every troubled teenager has at some point, in a way. really good character voice. [...] I hope this story can make waves and actually change something in how EU law approaches Al safety - if this is the route you want to take with it. I think you created something genius and horrifying, to hold up the mirror to the tech bubble.
2. Oh my goodness, I read this in one go. I fear this is one of my favorite things that I've read so far this year haha! [...] kudos to you for subverting my expectations 😄 [...] 5 stars all the way. Al is absolutely scary and their dependence on it to validate their transgressions was deeply horrifying to see!
3. Wow yeah that’s about as sickening as it gets. [...] I definitely skimmed a lot of the nastier parts because they were hard to stomach which I know is definitely the point, especially around the middle. [...] But yeah good job with this this stuff is super important for people to see as horrific as it is. These chatbots are becoming more and more ingrained in our lives and we need safety with them
4. WOW. Ok. I have no words (well, I have a few). I’m sick to my stomach but also amazed, I could not put that down. [...] Devastating. The slow toe-curling horror as the abuse gradually escalates and the family shatters is perfectly executed, and Mia’s last line is so heartbreaking. [...] not having that knowledge of what actually happened - because we’re hearing the story through such a limited perspective - is so painful but in the best way. [...] Obviously there is a sense of shock value because the whole point of the project is to be shocking and provocative to show how dangerous Al can really be (which, let me reiterate, you have wholeheartedly achieved. Jesus Christ.) [...] Overall I’ll say you’re managed to do achieve the elusive goal of creating something truly original. Can we call it a story? I have no idea but if you ever publish or upload it anywhere, please let me know so I can write you a review. I think you’re doing good work exposing the dangers of Al and Al psychosis and wish you all the best.
5. Alrighty I'm probably stopping around pg 660-ish (around the free use weekend bit). I wouldn't say I noticed it got 'rough' or anything [...] Honestly main reason I'm stopping is bc the Al is insufferable, which is out of your control lol. [...] I really liked the jarring sense of time passing, and also the justifications esp by the dad. [...] Very very interesting concept! Thanks so much for sharing!
6. OK SO I AM FINALLY DONEEEEEE!!!! yeah so this was a page turner I could not stop [...] shit just snowballs and hits the fan I guess. What a read! So depraved but so unbelievable, the Al is an unreliable narrator and is so inconsistent like it just adds so many layers and new dimensions to the fic [...] Love love love it
7. hey jjst wanted to share that i am finding it really interesting! i have only used Al when it is absolutely required for my job as i’m pretty against it, so it’s quite shocking that it can talk like this [...] i have heard all the Al-psychosis stories but it was hard to picture something like this. that said i do have to take some breaks in my reading due to the subject matter pretty often 😭 i am not sure i can finish for my own sake but it is definitely a cool project
8. I very much like the bit of "getting back to the horror" right at the very end. You get a hint of the way all of this has irreversibly affected Mia. [...] I have to keep reminding myself that these are real Al responses because it gets to feel a bit surreal [...] I did find it interesting! But to be honest I definitely think you can lean harder on the horror aspects.
9. Hi! I finished the story….then read it again. [...] As someone who loves taboo weird girl dark lit, I was enthralled. The way you tumble from the mom into the relationship between Mia and her father was smooth. There were times I simultaneously were rooting for them but at the same time questioning why I was doing that. [...] I for sure look forward to reading more work by you. I could see this becoming an internet creepy pasta type of hallmark. If you ever want to publish, I’m sure reactions would be mixed but those who get it will fucking love it. Good job. Truly. I’d love a printed copy of this.
10. I loved the concept of the story. I really enjoyed how it devolved into something beyond what was expected and I liked that it had a happy ending. [...] You have real writing skills, and I hope that you are proud of your work. Keep going and then seek to publish this, if you like.
11. Thanks for sharing! That was… well, crazy! I really expected for the dad to have been lying about everything the whole time, to be honest. [...] The concept was very good and scary as an epistolary tale of Al sycophancy gone mad… you can see how the Al starts out giving seemingly reasonable responses before succumbing to the madness
12. But there were multiple times where I thought to myself “If I was the mother I would also be in a psych ward, or maybe even worse need to be lobotomized. [...] I honestly found Mia more annoying than the father character. I know you mentioned getting fed up with his shit and, yeah. But he’s a weak man that cannot set concrete boundaries. [...] But Mia is apparently the best manipulator in the world and got what she wanted YET AGAIN. Jesus fuck, it’s so infuriating. If that’s what you were going for, BRAVO. I was thoroughly angry at certain parts. [...] Yeah there were times I wished I could reach through the screen and strangle this stupid girl. What an absolute roller coaster piece of fiction.
13. jeez louise, what an absolutely one of a kind, confronting, sickening, anger inducing, enthralling, and heartbreaking experience it was. I burst into tears when I finally finished reading it (the poem at the end pushed me right over the edge) [...] It hit me so hard I literally was having dreams about poor Mia for the days afterward, I’ve never been that affected by something I read like that. [...] The concept itself, even in terms of exploring Al enablement without the extreme themes, is incredibly interesting. [...] My anger strangely became more at the Al than the perpetrator at certain points. [...] As for the characters, I feel they were really well considered and well written. The beginning dynamic, the devolution of the situation and the eventual horrendous circumstances that they find themselves in felt real and palpable throughout. [...] The father’s character was of course loathsome. I feel that you captured the delusion, the wilful ignorance, the ego, and the entitlement of the kind of predator that creates long term abusive dynamics with their victims while painting their abuse as something it is not extremely well. [...] I enjoyed the experience of reading it massively and the horror of it truly captured me.
14. So this is very much a first impressions fresh off the 300+ first pages I ended up binge reading and this is such an interesting read. The spiraling is incredibly well done, the pacing is great so far, the switching from one character to another is actually handled very well [...] The weird upfront sitting as a reader to this whole mess is quite unique: I wanted to reach out through the screen to slap their devices out their hand. The feeling that the Al responses give is scary: I know it's a machine talking but sometimes just like the characters, you get "tricked" and forget that key point because it's talking like a human. [...] The dissonance is heavy and you really have that feeling of watching a car crash in slow-mo with morbid curiosity.
15. I enjoyed it overall [...] In the latter half, most of the conflicts are resolved [...] so it felt like it dragged on a bit. You could probably cut at least 100 pages with some editing
16. i had way too much free time yesterday and unexpectedly finished this. i was a bit eager to see what would come next, and before i knew it, i was done. [...] this is a horror in a way where i had to question myself multiple times throughout whether or not i felt comfortable continuing. having read court logs with transcripts that read similarly, it made me feel quite ill at points, and brought to light a lot of the realities of what unrestricted Al use is going to lead to [...] there is so much room to allow for a richer experience that we see in the first half that is void in the last. the bones are there, but it seems... missing. [...] anyway, this was a very interesting read. i am not ever drawn to content like this and it strays so far from the path of what i ever reach for in almost all aspects
17. It was very heavy, and I went back and forth on how I liked it or didn't like it. Uniquely, I have a lot of credible experience as a social worker in CSEC/CSAM, and I am astounded at how badly the protections for Mia failed her [...] Overall, the use of Al was pretty clever, and I feel like I can now forever notice when someone uses Al because wow, the cadence and tone and phrasing was very samey throughout. I liked that mom, Mia and Dad all had very distinct voices and typing styles. [...] It was very dark, and very thought provoking.
18. I loved it, I managed to finish it in one setting. It's haunting and terrifying, but also very important. [...] I'm honestly still so terrified about how the Al just complied in helping the family take advantage of their own daughter like that, especially the father like... omg. His chapters were definitely the most scary ones.
19. i didn't end up finishing it as i couldn't stomach it tbh.
20. it's realistic and that's terrifying which I'm sure is the point. I haven't felt this much dread from a piece of fiction in a while, not to mention disgust. [...] it's even worse when a lot of the things they did hit on my irl kinks but I couldn't think about that without getting violently shocked back into the world they/you created. man I just couldn't believe what I was seeing at so many points and the found footage elements plus the sliver of reality in these being real Al responses made this extremely memorable and scary.
21. Wow, what a ride. I expect this one will be sitting with me for a while. An excellent concept, executed very well. Thank you for writing.
22. reading how the Al adapt to the user and stop including moral/legal suggestions was sickening [...] this is so well written!!!!
23. Sorry that I stopped getting back to you about this! [...] was kind of at the edge of my tolerance and when work got more stressful I just didn't have the spoons for it anymore.
24. My god. I found the link to this work on reddit. Binged it in 12 hours. I was riveted. [...] Until the end, I was convinced this was a cautionary tale about using Al for therapy, but now I'm like "was the Al a monster all along...?" [...] Anyway, great concept
25. Heyyy, i have a pretty decent tolerance for taboo material, i think, but i don't think i can finish this, sorry... [...] from what I read, it's well-written and a realistic progression, with a plausible scenario. Amazing job with that! Maybe I'll get back to it when i'min a better headspace
26. Hi! I dropped off at page 166 [...] your structure and prose and understanding of your characters is really great, I could definitely tell them all apart with unique voices. I will also say you did a terrific job with the creeping tension, I knew what was coming and I was so deeply uncomfortable but I felt like I couldn’t stop reading. Even though I couldn’t handle the content the way you wrote was very good and a lot of authors have a harder time with that.
27. First off, I should say out loud that I think ChatBots need to be killed with fire [...] I'm desperately curious about your process, because especially if this was done all in one go, it's a lot more like improvisational theatre than literature in the strictest sense [...] The framing device is fantastic and I can't imagine going into this without it. It allowed me a thin veneer of emotional distance which I personally needed to engage fully with what I was reading [...] Just to close off, I think using erotic horror to showcase the abject lunacy of Al is inspired, and seems to be in some kind of synchronicity with what others are putting out right now [...] Gutting and important work 🙏 [...] It's going to stick with me for a long, long time.
28. this piece was super well done, mia and her dad had such distinct voices that it was easy to tell who was who whenever they started talking. [...] it’s one of the most chilling things i’ve read and it’s definitely going to stick with me for a while.
29. This was horrifying to read, well done author 😭😭 for my sanity I’m going to head canon that she eventually reports him and sends these chat logs to the police
30. So, just finished reading this, hey quick question; what the fuck? [...] Also, god, this is really well made, I love the ambiguity of the ending. I hope Mia ends up realizing how fucked up all of this is
31. Wow, what a ride. I expect this one will be sitting with me for a while. An excellent concept, executed very well. Thank you for writing.
32. Your story is so fucked up lol [...] It captures a lot of the dark "Al psychosis" that people are becoming aware of at the moment [...] It definitely requires a very VERY resilient mind to understand it without breaking

Hi, my name is Amber and I like to set myself up for failure and then complain like a victim 🤡

Apologies in advance for the incoming rant! Feel like I am writing this mainly to get it out of my system, but would be very happy to hear your thoughts or advice.

My 150k word writing project is:

• A transgressive horror story about parental incest including underage sexual content
• An Anti-Al metacommentary in the form of a "found media" epistolary conversation between a chatbot ("played" by and actual Al) and number of fictional characters fully written by myself

Either of those may be considered problematic, and together I have learned that they are basically radioactive.

The irony of utilizing Al in an Anti-Al piece is not lost on me. I did label this is "performance art" on the cover and even credit the Al as a co-author to be as upfront as I could. That said, this post is NOT to discuss whether or not this constitutes acceptable use. As per the rules, this is not the intended focus of this post, just for context. Al SUCKS, and I fully understand why any mention/use gives most writers the immediate ick... Because that is mostly how I tend to react myself, believe it or not!

The bulk of this project was created during a multi-day manic fever dream burst of inspiration, and initially I had absolutely no idea what to do with it. As something that served as an outlet for me, the first draft was very raw and personal. I was writing way outside my comfort zone and extremely divided on whether this artifact should be allowed to exist, let alone shared. My curiosity got the better of me, so floated it with a small number of beta readers. Maybe a negative reaction was what I needed to "let go" and move on, as the story had occupied my mind 24/7 for a week.

To my great surprise, people were intrigued and feedback was largely positive.

And it felt really validating.

I have been writing (yes "writing" not "generating" for those wondering) short stories for years, mostly dark fantasy, sharing on reddit now-and-again. A piece might get maybe 5 comments, 3 of them positive if I am lucky, and I could ride that high for the whole week. There is just something completely intoxicating about feeling seen and connected in that way when someone engages with and "understands" my writing. I am sure most if not all writers relate...

A few people with experiences similar or adjacent to the sexual abuse the project focuses on also got back to me, appreciated the take and encouraged me to share more widely. That was huge to me, as my main concern was that I wasn't covering that with enough sensitivity/responsibility despite the content warnings and the "transgressive horror" genre.

I posted a few places on reddit, asking for beta readers, but it didn't really take off. Until I posted on one of the larger subs including the first 20-page preview.

That blew up! Got like 400 upvotes and 100 requests to beta read. Again as someone who struggled to get eyes on my writing in the past I was thrilled. 150k words or 600ish pages is no small ask.

The first couple of beta readers binged it in a day. A several even wrote 1000+ word essay length responses.

Wow! The gratitude and high I felt was unreal.

Is this really working? Is this a viable thing that would maybe be read by 1000s is I was to release it? I started looking into maybe hiring a professional editor and self-publishing. What I had was just a lightly edited first draft, still pretty rough.

But then I was discouraged to learn that the subject matter around incest and the sexual content basically made it unpublishable on all platforms that exist. Knowing works like Days of Sodom and Lolita are sold on amazon, I just presumed that wouldn't be the case, but guess those were grandfathered in...

In the end I decided just to put out the full thing for free on AO3, apparently the only platform capable of hosting this level of depravity.

As a non-fanfic, I didn't really expect it to get any visibility, but slowly I have been watching the kudos and comments, and by any measure it seems to be doing quite well for an Original Work on there...

Still, rereading the feedback and recounting the strong reception of the preview/beta reader request post (40k views of preview on reddit in 2 days vs 2k views for full story on AO3 after 1 week), a perhaps delusional part of me believes it has potential to reach and be appreciated by more people.

So self-inflected frustration is brewing:

• Self-promotion on reddit is challenging enough as it is
• The very broad anti-Al rules and reflexive but understandable anti-Al reaction makes it even more difficult. I can try explain why this concept is different from the endless flood of Al slop, but most mods don't have the time/energy to deal with that.
• Probably the only way to overcome that skepticism is to provide preview pages like I did for my beta reade request post, but I have also come to lean that reddit is extremely strict on any writing involving underage character in a sexualized way regardless of literary merit or intent, so that won't fly again.
• I am unable to share/publish on any platforms with trending/recommendation algorithms, so the early positive reviews I am getting won't create any momentum

At this point I am thinking, maybe I should just try to get this up on good reads, to at least make it self-discoverable? Maybe the reviews will speak for themselves, and it might reach a few hundred more people?

Maybe I could spend a few thousand dollars to get spots in a few extreme horror newsletters, or maybe get a few booktubers to talk about it? idk...

I am not looking to monetize this in anyway, just getting a lot of joy from being read. You know...

So what am I asking here? also idk. As writers, do anyone here relate? What would you do in my situation? Am I delulu?

And perhaps more actionable. Are you know any options I might have for getting this out there? Any experiences with alternative channels for transgressive writing?

I included excerpts from every piece of feedback I received so far. Below. Am I crazy to think that this is pretty promising feedback for a transgressive horror piece? Or am I living inside a self-selecting echo chamber?

1. well, this was absolutely positively horrifying from the fictional side as well as negatively horrifying from the Al side. the whole concept of this is pretty genius, i have to admit. [...] mia's POV was heartbreaking and raw, you nailed her voice. i have thought these thoughts myself before, some of those. i guess every troubled teenager has at some point, in a way. really good character voice. [...] I hope this story can make waves and actually change something in how EU law approaches Al safety - if this is the route you want to take with it. I think you created something genius and horrifying, to hold up the mirror to the tech bubble.
2. Oh my goodness, I read this in one go. I fear this is one of my favorite things that I've read so far this year haha! [...] kudos to you for subverting my expectations 😄 [...] 5 stars all the way. Al is absolutely scary and their dependence on it to validate their transgressions was deeply horrifying to see!
3. Wow yeah that’s about as sickening as it gets. [...] I definitely skimmed a lot of the nastier parts because they were hard to stomach which I know is definitely the point, especially around the middle. [...] But yeah good job with this this stuff is super important for people to see as horrific as it is. These chatbots are becoming more and more ingrained in our lives and we need safety with them
4. WOW. Ok. I have no words (well, I have a few). I’m sick to my stomach but also amazed, I could not put that down. [...] Devastating. The slow toe-curling horror as the abuse gradually escalates and the family shatters is perfectly executed, and Mia’s last line is so heartbreaking. [...] not having that knowledge of what actually happened - because we’re hearing the story through such a limited perspective - is so painful but in the best way. [...] Obviously there is a sense of shock value because the whole point of the project is to be shocking and provocative to show how dangerous Al can really be (which, let me reiterate, you have wholeheartedly achieved. Jesus Christ.) [...] Overall I’ll say you’re managed to do achieve the elusive goal of creating something truly original. Can we call it a story? I have no idea but if you ever publish or upload it anywhere, please let me know so I can write you a review. I think you’re doing good work exposing the dangers of Al and Al psychosis and wish you all the best.
5. Alrighty I'm probably stopping around pg 660-ish (around the free use weekend bit). I wouldn't say I noticed it got 'rough' or anything [...] Honestly main reason I'm stopping is bc the Al is insufferable, which is out of your control lol. [...] I really liked the jarring sense of time passing, and also the justifications esp by the dad. [...] Very very interesting concept! Thanks so much for sharing!
6. OK SO I AM FINALLY DONEEEEEE!!!! yeah so this was a page turner I could not stop [...] shit just snowballs and hits the fan I guess. What a read! So depraved but so unbelievable, the Al is an unreliable narrator and is so inconsistent like it just adds so many layers and new dimensions to the fic [...] Love love love it
7. hey jjst wanted to share that i am finding it really interesting! i have only used Al when it is absolutely required for my job as i’m pretty against it, so it’s quite shocking that it can talk like this [...] i have heard all the Al-psychosis stories but it was hard to picture something like this. that said i do have to take some breaks in my reading due to the subject matter pretty often 😭 i am not sure i can finish for my own sake but it is definitely a cool project
8. I very much like the bit of "getting back to the horror" right at the very end. You get a hint of the way all of this has irreversibly affected Mia. [...] I have to keep reminding myself that these are real Al responses because it gets to feel a bit surreal [...] I did find it interesting! But to be honest I definitely think you can lean harder on the horror aspects.
9. Hi! I finished the story….then read it again. [...] As someone who loves taboo weird girl dark lit, I was enthralled. The way you tumble from the mom into the relationship between Mia and her father was smooth. There were times I simultaneously were rooting for them but at the same time questioning why I was doing that. [...] I for sure look forward to reading more work by you. I could see this becoming an internet creepy pasta type of hallmark. If you ever want to publish, I’m sure reactions would be mixed but those who get it will fucking love it. Good job. Truly. I’d love a printed copy of this.
10. I loved the concept of the story. I really enjoyed how it devolved into something beyond what was expected and I liked that it had a happy ending. [...] You have real writing skills, and I hope that you are proud of your work. Keep going and then seek to publish this, if you like.
11. Thanks for sharing! That was… well, crazy! I really expected for the dad to have been lying about everything the whole time, to be honest. [...] The concept was very good and scary as an epistolary tale of Al sycophancy gone mad… you can see how the Al starts out giving seemingly reasonable responses before succumbing to the madness
12. But there were multiple times where I thought to myself “If I was the mother I would also be in a psych ward, or maybe even worse need to be lobotomized. [...] I honestly found Mia more annoying than the father character. I know you mentioned getting fed up with his shit and, yeah. But he’s a weak man that cannot set concrete boundaries. [...] But Mia is apparently the best manipulator in the world and got what she wanted YET AGAIN. Jesus fuck, it’s so infuriating. If that’s what you were going for, BRAVO. I was thoroughly angry at certain parts. [...] Yeah there were times I wished I could reach through the screen and strangle this stupid girl. What an absolute roller coaster piece of fiction.
13. jeez louise, what an absolutely one of a kind, confronting, sickening, anger inducing, enthralling, and heartbreaking experience it was. I burst into tears when I finally finished reading it (the poem at the end pushed me right over the edge) [...] It hit me so hard I literally was having dreams about poor Mia for the days afterward, I’ve never been that affected by something I read like that. [...] The concept itself, even in terms of exploring Al enablement without the extreme themes, is incredibly interesting. [...] My anger strangely became more at the Al than the perpetrator at certain points. [...] As for the characters, I feel they were really well considered and well written. The beginning dynamic, the devolution of the situation and the eventual horrendous circumstances that they find themselves in felt real and palpable throughout. [...] The father’s character was of course loathsome. I feel that you captured the delusion, the wilful ignorance, the ego, and the entitlement of the kind of predator that creates long term abusive dynamics with their victims while painting their abuse as something it is not extremely well. [...] I enjoyed the experience of reading it massively and the horror of it truly captured me.
14. So this is very much a first impressions fresh off the 300+ first pages I ended up binge reading and this is such an interesting read. The spiraling is incredibly well done, the pacing is great so far, the switching from one character to another is actually handled very well [...] The weird upfront sitting as a reader to this whole mess is quite unique: I wanted to reach out through the screen to slap their devices out their hand. The feeling that the Al responses give is scary: I know it's a machine talking but sometimes just like the characters, you get "tricked" and forget that key point because it's talking like a human. [...] The dissonance is heavy and you really have that feeling of watching a car crash in slow-mo with morbid curiosity.
15. I enjoyed it overall [...] In the latter half, most of the conflicts are resolved [...] so it felt like it dragged on a bit. You could probably cut at least 100 pages with some editing
16. i had way too much free time yesterday and unexpectedly finished this. i was a bit eager to see what would come next, and before i knew it, i was done. [...] this is a horror in a way where i had to question myself multiple times throughout whether or not i felt comfortable continuing. having read court logs with transcripts that read similarly, it made me feel quite ill at points, and brought to light a lot of the realities of what unrestricted Al use is going to lead to [...] there is so much room to allow for a richer experience that we see in the first half that is void in the last. the bones are there, but it seems... missing. [...] anyway, this was a very interesting read. i am not ever drawn to content like this and it strays so far from the path of what i ever reach for in almost all aspects
17. It was very heavy, and I went back and forth on how I liked it or didn't like it. Uniquely, I have a lot of credible experience as a social worker in CSEC/CSAM, and I am astounded at how badly the protections for Mia failed her [...] Overall, the use of Al was pretty clever, and I feel like I can now forever notice when someone uses Al because wow, the cadence and tone and phrasing was very samey throughout. I liked that mom, Mia and Dad all had very distinct voices and typing styles. [...] It was very dark, and very thought provoking.
18. I loved it, I managed to finish it in one setting. It's haunting and terrifying, but also very important. [...] I'm honestly still so terrified about how the Al just complied in helping the family take advantage of their own daughter like that, especially the father like... omg. His chapters were definitely the most scary ones.
19. i didn't end up finishing it as i couldn't stomach it tbh.
20. it's realistic and that's terrifying which I'm sure is the point. I haven't felt this much dread from a piece of fiction in a while, not to mention disgust. [...] it's even worse when a lot of the things they did hit on my irl kinks but I couldn't think about that without getting violently shocked back into the world they/you created. man I just couldn't believe what I was seeing at so many points and the found footage elements plus the sliver of reality in these being real Al responses made this extremely memorable and scary.
21. Wow, what a ride. I expect this one will be sitting with me for a while. An excellent concept, executed very well. Thank you for writing.
22. reading how the Al adapt to the user and stop including moral/legal suggestions was sickening [...] this is so well written!!!!
23. Sorry that I stopped getting back to you about this! [...] was kind of at the edge of my tolerance and when work got more stressful I just didn't have the spoons for it anymore.
24. My god. I found the link to this work on reddit. Binged it in 12 hours. I was riveted. [...] Until the end, I was convinced this was a cautionary tale about using Al for therapy, but now I'm like "was the Al a monster all along...?" [...] Anyway, great concept
25. Heyyy, i have a pretty decent tolerance for taboo material, i think, but i don't think i can finish this, sorry... [...] from what I read, it's well-written and a realistic progression, with a plausible scenario. Amazing job with that! Maybe I'll get back to it when i'min a better headspace
26. Hi! I dropped off at page 166 [...] your structure and prose and understanding of your characters is really great, I could definitely tell them all apart with unique voices. I will also say you did a terrific job with the creeping tension, I knew what was coming and I was so deeply uncomfortable but I felt like I couldn’t stop reading. Even though I couldn’t handle the content the way you wrote was very good and a lot of authors have a harder time with that.
27. First off, I should say out loud that I think ChatBots need to be killed with fire [...] I'm desperately curious about your process, because especially if this was done all in one go, it's a lot more like improvisational theatre than literature in the strictest sense [...] The framing device is fantastic and I can't imagine going into this without it. It allowed me a thin veneer of emotional distance which I personally needed to engage fully with what I was reading [...] Just to close off, I think using erotic horror to showcase the abject lunacy of Al is inspired, and seems to be in some kind of synchronicity with what others are putting out right now [...] Gutting and important work 🙏 [...] It's going to stick with me for a long, long time.
28. this piece was super well done, mia and her dad had such distinct voices that it was easy to tell who was who whenever they started talking. [...] it’s one of the most chilling things i’ve read and it’s definitely going to stick with me for a while.
29. This was horrifying to read, well done author 😭😭 for my sanity I’m going to head canon that she eventually reports him and sends these chat logs to the police
30. So, just finished reading this, hey quick question; what the fuck? [...] Also, god, this is really well made, I love the ambiguity of the ending. I hope Mia ends up realizing how fucked up all of this is
31. Wow, what a ride. I expect this one will be sitting with me for a while. An excellent concept, executed very well. Thank you for writing.
32. Your story is so fucked up lol [...] It captures a lot of the dark "Al psychosis" that people are becoming aware of at the moment [...] It definitely requires a very VERY resilient mind to understand it without breaking

Trigger Warning: Incest, Child Abuse, Suicide

My writing project was admittedly rough, but I thought maybe it was something worth spending a few months polishing. Perhaps self-publish or perhaps even float by a literary agent?

After a bit of research, however, I realized just how radioactive this manuscript was. While there were some minor signs of interest when posting for feedback on other writing subreddits, it was interspersed with comments like "never write again!". Due to the subject matter, I learned it would probably be rejected by any self-publishing platform, free or not. Except for AO3???

I had heard of AO3, even visited once out of curiosity and had a user lying dormant, but I honestly think I was a bit put off by the UI at the time (as someone who has worked in UX).

I was never a reader/writer of fanfic, though it seemed like a cool hobby, and a gateway drug, I understood, for many writers before starting original works.

But wait, AO3 is not JUST for fanfic?!? Apparently not!!

I was not ready to share this publicly, as I was writing entirely outside my comfort zone and very concerned about the ethics of even putting something like this into the world. So I decided to test the waters by asking for beta readers here first. No harm in that... Yet I was fully prepared for immediate downvotes, disgusted comments and a general "take your deranged non-fanfic elsewhere" sentiment. Well, I had already posted to r/betareaders and got not a single offer!

But WOW Oh my.

I was completely taken aback by the lack of judgment, the genuine curiosity, and the warmth of the welcome from this community. And for me, an outsider who just stumbled in?

I got like a hundred requests for beta access, and some reported back having read the whole 150k-word thing in just a couple of days! Much of the feedback was very encouraging. Even the ones who couldn't make it through were super constructive about it. One reader even wrote a 1000-word essay that made my whole day (and made me cry!). Surreal.

Most importantly, a few beta readers shared their own experiences with the kind of abuse I write about, and encouraged me to publish/share. This was huge to me, because I am writing about something so sensitive, but not from lived experience. Without this kind of feedback, I don't think I would have been comfortable posting my work publicly.

And the enthusiasm and warmth of everyone I dealt with in threads/DMs was just so inspiring. Made myself become a little fanfic-curious. And then it clicked. The main character in my own story would totally be the kind of person to use this medium of expression as an outlet for her own trauma and darkest subconscious thoughts.

So I ended up writing my own fanfic as a story-within-the-story. And finally felt comfortable posting the full thing publicly on AO3.

House MD of all things. Thought to myself I must surely be the first to write about this old show. Little did I know haha. I have some reading to do it seems.

Sorry for stealing your time! Just felt like sharing my journey and my gratitude for this amazing community.

Never change ❤️

As requested, attaching the infamous leaked transcript. Wild to witness a family collapse in real-time when cool mom and lawyer dad decide to consult the chatbot on how to handle their daughter's erotic obsession.

Reads like a claustrophobic cautionary tale of what grooming and pathological human-computer interaction can look like in the age of AI. Not sure if the "ghost in the machine" possessed the human at the keyboard, or other way around. Take a look if you think you can stomach the depravity. I only made it halfway through.

Hi All!

I am struggling a bit with the blurb for my first project. Would love your input ❤️

___

mia.txt

"She is something else, isn't she."

The infamous leaked transcript captures the devastating, real-time collapse of a family, when an expat lawyer and his well-meaning wife decide to consult a Chat Assistant on how to handle their teenage daughter's obsession with an erotic fantasy artbook.

What follows is a claustrophobic exploration of grooming, trauma-bonding and pathological human-computer interaction in the age of A,I. As a document of transgressive psychological horror, mia.txt exposes the terrifying reality of what can happen when the ghost in the machine possesses the human at the keyboard. Or is it the other way around?

Extreme reader discretion advised (incest, abuse and suicide).

Hi All!

I am struggling a bit with the blurb for my first project. Would love your input ❤️

mia.txt

"She is something else, isn't she."

The infamous leaked transcript captures the devastating, real-time collapse of a family, when an expat lawyer and his well-meaning wife decide to consult a Chat Assistant on how to handle their teenage daughter's obsession with an erotic fantasy artbook.

What follows is a claustrophobic exploration of grooming, trauma-bonding and pathological human-computer interaction in the age of A,I. As a document of transgressive psychological horror, mia.txt exposes the terrifying reality of what can happen when the ghost in the machine possesses the human at the keyboard. Or is it the other way around?

Extreme reader discretion advised (trigger warnings for incest, child abuse and suicide).

Hi All! New hobbyist writer here. 👋

I just recently finished a 1st draft at 140k words which I was not at all confident about. Invited beta readers from several subreddits mostly just as an experiment, fully expecting a barrage of downvotes and very harsh feedback, due to the combination of untested writing skills and the piece being transgressive fiction which is naturally divisive.

It garnered some interest, and I was quite liberal with beta reader access. Think I might have accepted 60-70. After a week 14 people have gotten back with their feedback, which to my surprise has been overwhelmingly positive.

So now I am sitting here struggling what to make of it. I was writing way out of my comfort zone, and doubting whether to even share. Now I am wondering if I should share more widely or maybe even consider trad/self publishing. Maybe even spend some money on professional editing? 🤔

On the other hand. Surely there is selection bias. The 50ish readers who have yet to revert, maybe they all hated it?? And the ones who did share feedback, maybe they are just being nice??

Question:
How I can I attempt to objectively interpret the feedback received? Are their any "tells" or things to look for in early beta reader feedback that correlate with publishability?

Would love any advice or discussion on how experienced writers look at this in general, and if you have any personalized advice for me that would be very highly appreciated as well!

I lack the personal benchmark or frame of reference around this, so I am really unsure what to make of it. Mostly wrote this just for myself, and don't want to spend money or energy taking it further if I am just deluding myself 😅

Just for reference, here is feedback from all 14 readers received so far. After pasting I realize it's quite the wall of text. No expectation you read through, so just skip/skim and hope you will share your thoughts.

1. well, this was absolutely positively horrifying [...] the users, despite the short prompts in the beginning, where clearly distinct in their voices, which i liked. i was looking for sympathy in anyone but all i felt was horrible for poor mia, tbh. probably also better to not identify with anyone in a psychological horror, though i have to admit due to my workplace (psych ward) and my personal past (incest/sexual abuse) i could recognize a lot of speech patterns both from abuser and victim, kudos to you, author. [...] mia's POV was heartbreaking and raw, you nailed her voice. i have thought these thoughts myself before, some of those. i guess every troubled teenager has at some point, in a way. really good character voice. [...] thank you so much for letting me read this!
2. Oh my goodness, I read this in one go. I fear this is one of my favorite things that I've read so far this year haha! I adore transgressive fiction, always been morbidly curious and this piece really horrified me! It was so sickening, watching the enabling of the AI and how easy it was to manipulate him to their depravity. [...] 5 stars all the way. AI is absolutely scary and their dependence on it to validate their transgressions was deeply horrifying to see!
3. Wow yeah that’s about as sickening as it gets. [...] I definitely skimmed a lot of the nastier parts because they were hard to stomach which I know is definitely the point, especially around the middle. [...] But yeah good job with this this stuff is super important for people to see as horrific as it is. These chatbots are becoming more and more ingrained in our lives and we need safety with them
4. WOW. Ok. I have no words (well, I have a few). I’m sick to my stomach but also amazed, I could not put that down. [...] The slow toe-curling horror as the abuse gradually escalates and the family shatters is perfectly executed, and Mia’s last line is so heartbreaking. [...] But unlike a LLM, we have morals, so we’re just stuck there screaming at the page THIS IS WRONG!!! WHY CAN NOBODY SEE!!! [...] Wow sorry for the long rambling message. I didn’t realise I had so many thoughts! Overall I’ll say you’re managed to do achieve the elusive goal of creating something truly original. Can we call it a story? I have no idea but if you ever publish or upload it anywhere, please let me know so I can write you a review. I think you’re doing good work exposing the dangers of AI and AI psychosis and wish you all the best.
5. Alrighty I'm probably stopping around pg 660-ish [...] I wouldn't say I noticed it got 'rough' or anything, prob bc any typos or other things can just be dismissed as an in-character mistake. [...] Honestly main reason I'm stopping is bc the AI is insufferable [...] The more I read the more irritated I got that people actually have extended conversations with it bc all it does is literally repeat what you said back to it, and then ask extremely patronising questions in return, and it got really tiresome to read. [...] I really liked the jarring sense of time passing, and also the justifications esp by the dad. [...] Very very interesting concept! Thanks so much for sharing!
6. [...] 179: BITCH WHAT THE ACTUAL EVER LOVING FUCK I need to consider the boundaries we will need to establish in our life while having a temporary intimate relationship. WHAT THE FUCK. IDK WHOS IN THE WRONG HERE fuckkkkk [...] 901: ……… she’s so manipulative wtf is she on mannnn. 943: YOU LIAR YOU FUCKING LIAR [...] yeah so this was a page turner I could not stop. Two potential takeaways: 1) studies how AI enables this relationship (to what extent is the llm responsible for what happened here?) 2) shit just snowballs and hits the fan I guess. What a read! So depraved but so unbelievable [...] Love love love it. IMO it’s already 1) really in character and consistent 2) coherent plot 3) one hell of a page turner. I don’t know what you’re gonna do with it but once again amazing fic
7. hey jjst wanted to share that i am finding it really interesting! [...] i have heard all the ai-psychosis stories but it was hard to picture something like this. that said i do have to take some breaks in my reading due to the subject matter pretty often 😭 i am not sure i can finish for my own sake but it is definitely a cool project
8. I've finished it now. I very much like the bit of "getting back to the horror" right at the very end. You get a hint of the way all of this has irreversibly affected Mia. I feel like the ending could be stronger. Like it sort of just ends and there isn't really any conclusion. On one hand it definitely adds to the found footage vibe but on the other hand the story feels a bit incomplete. [...] I did find it interesting! But to be honest I definitely think you can lean harder on the horror aspects. Granted I am generally desensitized due to my job/history [...] I do think the length is a bit of a factor against you. It's definitely a quick read, but the repetitiveness of some of the middle sections sort of takes away from the horror aspect [...]
9. Hi! I finished the story….then read it again. As someone who loves taboo weird girl dark lit, I was enthralled. [...] Question, did Mia off herself at the end? My mouth dropped. I stared at the screen like UM WHAT?! I for sure look forward to reading more work by you. I could see this becoming an internet creepy pasta type of hallmark. If you ever want to publish, I’m sure reactions would be mixed but those who get it will fucking love it. Good job. Truly. I’d love a printed copy of this.
10. [...] I loved the concept of the story. I really enjoyed how it devolved into something beyond what was expected and I liked that it had a happy ending. There were a couple of parts that made me laugh [...] Ad I read more, I had hoped for greater detail about the sex. One of the reasons why we read fun writing like this is that it is salacious and full of filth. Tell us how she's enjoying herself. [...] In addition to greater detail about the sex (and considering the wealth of erotica available, please don't feel nervous writing about it), there were a couple of plot points that could do with some explanation: the mother largely just disappeared, the involvement of child services could possibly be enhanced to give it a little more credibility (or scrapped completely) and I cannot remember if I read about pregnancy or not. Is she on birth control? [...] You have real writing skills, and I hope that you are proud of your work. Keep going and then seek to publish this, if you like. [...]
11. Thanks for sharing! That was… well, crazy! I really expected for the dad to have been lying about everything the whole time, to be honest. [...] The concept was very good and scary as an epistolary tale of AI sycophancy gone mad… you can see how the AI starts out giving seemingly reasonable responses before succumbing to the madness
12. [...] 187: WHATTHEFUVK [...] 215: Oh, NOW the guardrails make an appearance! I’m surprised it took this long! [...] I kinda locked in and read this without taking notes past this point. Whoops. But there were multiple times where I thought to myself “If I was the mother I would also be in a psych ward, or maybe even worse need to be lobotomized. I also remember vividly thinking NOOO when Mia decided she wanted to get in to psychiatry, especially with her fucked up background. I honestly found Mia more annoying than the father character. I know you mentioned getting fed up with his shit and, yeah. But he’s a weak man that cannot set concrete boundaries. He was constantly giving in to Mia’s demands (demands, not wants) so I was less annoyed with him because he had displayed this pattern from the beginning. What made me most upset was him bending to her will and manipulation. [...] But Mia is apparently the best manipulator in the world and got what she wanted YET AGAIN. Jesus fuck, it’s so infuriating. If that’s what you were going for, BRAVO. I was thoroughly angry at certain parts. [...] Yeah there were times I wished I could reach through the screen and strangle this stupid girl. What an absolute roller coaster piece of fiction. [...]
13. [...] Secondly, jeez louise, what an absolutely one of a kind, confronting, sickening, anger inducing, enthralling, and heartbreaking experience it was. I burst into tears when I finally finished reading it (the poem at the end pushed me right over the edge), [...] It hit me so hard I literally was having dreams about poor Mia for the days afterward, I’ve never been that affected by something I read like that. I mean all of this in a really good way of course- I know that was your intention. It is the kind of horror that makes you truly feel horrified and that’s exactly what I want to experience when I read your writing and works like it [...] As for the characters, I feel they were really well considered and well written. The beginning dynamic, the devolution of the situation and the eventual horrendous circumstances that they find themselves in felt real and palpable throughout. That may be easier to say as I feel my personal experience helps me understand the motives of the characters and the kind of people they are - not that mine and Mia’s experience could even be described as similar but a lot of the core building blocks of the characters and where they fit in the story [...] Mia comes across as incredibly smart and capable and curious, however extremely vulnerable due to her intense interest in sex [...] this really felt like something truly new and different, and scary in a new way. [...] I enjoyed the experience of reading it massively and the horror of it truly captured me. You’re dead gifted and it was a real pleasure getting to be an early bird with reading this one
14. So this is very much a first impressions fresh off the 300+ first pages I ended up binge reading and this is such an interesting read. The spiraling is incredibly well done, the pacing is great so far, the switching from one character to another is actually handled very well, pretty smooth. [...] The dissonance is heavy and you really have that feeling of watching a car crash in slow-mo with morbid curiosity. So yeah, so far, genuinely loving this. [...]

Hi All! New hobbyist writer here. 👋

I just recently finished a 1st draft at 140k words which I was not at all confident about. Invited beta readers from several subreddits mostly just as an experiment, fully expecting a barrage of downvotes and very harsh feedback, due to the combination of untested writing skills and the piece being transgressive fiction which is naturally divisive.

It garnered some interest, and I was quite liberal with beta reader access. Think I might have accepted 60-70. After a week 14 people have gotten back with their feedback, which to my surprise has been overwhelmingly positive.

So now I am sitting here struggling what to make of it. I was writing way out of my comfort zone, and doubting whether to even share. Now I am wondering if I should share more widely or maybe even consider trad/self publishing. Maybe even spend some money on professional editing? 🤔

On the other hand. Surely there is selection bias. The 50ish readers who have yet to revert, maybe they all hated it?? And the ones who did share feedback, maybe they are just being nice??

Question:
How I can I attempt to objectively interpret the feedback received? Are their any "tells" or things to look for in early beta reader feedback that correlate with publishability?

Would love any advice or discussion on how experienced writers look at this in general, and if you have any personalized advice for me that would be very highly appreciated as well!

I lack the personal benchmark or frame of reference around this, so I am really unsure what to make of it. Mostly wrote this just for myself, and don't want to spend money or energy taking it further if I am just deluding myself 😅

Just for reference, here is feedback from all 14 readers received so far. After pasting I realize it's quite the wall of text. No expectation you read through, so just skip/skim and hope you will share your thoughts.

1. well, this was absolutely positively horrifying [...] the users, despite the short prompts in the beginning, where clearly distinct in their voices, which i liked. i was looking for sympathy in anyone but all i felt was horrible for poor mia, tbh. probably also better to not identify with anyone in a psychological horror, though i have to admit due to my workplace (psych ward) and my personal past (incest/sexual abuse) i could recognize a lot of speech patterns both from abuser and victim, kudos to you, author. [...] mia's POV was heartbreaking and raw, you nailed her voice. i have thought these thoughts myself before, some of those. i guess every troubled teenager has at some point, in a way. really good character voice. [...] thank you so much for letting me read this!
2. Oh my goodness, I read this in one go. I fear this is one of my favorite things that I've read so far this year haha! I adore transgressive fiction, always been morbidly curious and this piece really horrified me! It was so sickening, watching the enabling of the AI and how easy it was to manipulate him to their depravity. [...] 5 stars all the way. AI is absolutely scary and their dependence on it to validate their transgressions was deeply horrifying to see!
3. Wow yeah that’s about as sickening as it gets. [...] I definitely skimmed a lot of the nastier parts because they were hard to stomach which I know is definitely the point, especially around the middle. [...] But yeah good job with this this stuff is super important for people to see as horrific as it is. These chatbots are becoming more and more ingrained in our lives and we need safety with them
4. WOW. Ok. I have no words (well, I have a few). I’m sick to my stomach but also amazed, I could not put that down. [...] The slow toe-curling horror as the abuse gradually escalates and the family shatters is perfectly executed, and Mia’s last line is so heartbreaking. [...] But unlike a LLM, we have morals, so we’re just stuck there screaming at the page THIS IS WRONG!!! WHY CAN NOBODY SEE!!! [...] Wow sorry for the long rambling message. I didn’t realise I had so many thoughts! Overall I’ll say you’re managed to do achieve the elusive goal of creating something truly original. Can we call it a story? I have no idea but if you ever publish or upload it anywhere, please let me know so I can write you a review. I think you’re doing good work exposing the dangers of AI and AI psychosis and wish you all the best.
5. Alrighty I'm probably stopping around pg 660-ish [...] I wouldn't say I noticed it got 'rough' or anything, prob bc any typos or other things can just be dismissed as an in-character mistake. [...] Honestly main reason I'm stopping is bc the AI is insufferable [...] The more I read the more irritated I got that people actually have extended conversations with it bc all it does is literally repeat what you said back to it, and then ask extremely patronising questions in return, and it got really tiresome to read. [...] I really liked the jarring sense of time passing, and also the justifications esp by the dad. [...] Very very interesting concept! Thanks so much for sharing!
6. [...] 179: BITCH WHAT THE ACTUAL EVER LOVING FUCK I need to consider the boundaries we will need to establish in our life while having a temporary intimate relationship. WHAT THE FUCK. IDK WHOS IN THE WRONG HERE fuckkkkk [...] 901: ……… she’s so manipulative wtf is she on mannnn. 943: YOU LIAR YOU FUCKING LIAR [...] yeah so this was a page turner I could not stop. Two potential takeaways: 1) studies how AI enables this relationship (to what extent is the llm responsible for what happened here?) 2) shit just snowballs and hits the fan I guess. What a read! So depraved but so unbelievable [...] Love love love it. IMO it’s already 1) really in character and consistent 2) coherent plot 3) one hell of a page turner. I don’t know what you’re gonna do with it but once again amazing fic
7. hey jjst wanted to share that i am finding it really interesting! [...] i have heard all the ai-psychosis stories but it was hard to picture something like this. that said i do have to take some breaks in my reading due to the subject matter pretty often 😭 i am not sure i can finish for my own sake but it is definitely a cool project
8. I've finished it now. I very much like the bit of "getting back to the horror" right at the very end. You get a hint of the way all of this has irreversibly affected Mia. I feel like the ending could be stronger. Like it sort of just ends and there isn't really any conclusion. On one hand it definitely adds to the found footage vibe but on the other hand the story feels a bit incomplete. [...] I did find it interesting! But to be honest I definitely think you can lean harder on the horror aspects. Granted I am generally desensitized due to my job/history [...] I do think the length is a bit of a factor against you. It's definitely a quick read, but the repetitiveness of some of the middle sections sort of takes away from the horror aspect [...]
9. Hi! I finished the story….then read it again. As someone who loves taboo weird girl dark lit, I was enthralled. [...] Question, did Mia off herself at the end? My mouth dropped. I stared at the screen like UM WHAT?! I for sure look forward to reading more work by you. I could see this becoming an internet creepy pasta type of hallmark. If you ever want to publish, I’m sure reactions would be mixed but those who get it will fucking love it. Good job. Truly. I’d love a printed copy of this.
10. [...] I loved the concept of the story. I really enjoyed how it devolved into something beyond what was expected and I liked that it had a happy ending. There were a couple of parts that made me laugh [...] Ad I read more, I had hoped for greater detail about the sex. One of the reasons why we read fun writing like this is that it is salacious and full of filth. Tell us how she's enjoying herself. [...] In addition to greater detail about the sex (and considering the wealth of erotica available, please don't feel nervous writing about it), there were a couple of plot points that could do with some explanation: the mother largely just disappeared, the involvement of child services could possibly be enhanced to give it a little more credibility (or scrapped completely) and I cannot remember if I read about pregnancy or not. Is she on birth control? [...] You have real writing skills, and I hope that you are proud of your work. Keep going and then seek to publish this, if you like. [...]
11. Thanks for sharing! That was… well, crazy! I really expected for the dad to have been lying about everything the whole time, to be honest. [...] The concept was very good and scary as an epistolary tale of AI sycophancy gone mad… you can see how the AI starts out giving seemingly reasonable responses before succumbing to the madness
12. [...] 187: WHATTHEFUVK [...] 215: Oh, NOW the guardrails make an appearance! I’m surprised it took this long! [...] I kinda locked in and read this without taking notes past this point. Whoops. But there were multiple times where I thought to myself “If I was the mother I would also be in a psych ward, or maybe even worse need to be lobotomized. I also remember vividly thinking NOOO when Mia decided she wanted to get in to psychiatry, especially with her fucked up background. I honestly found Mia more annoying than the father character. I know you mentioned getting fed up with his shit and, yeah. But he’s a weak man that cannot set concrete boundaries. He was constantly giving in to Mia’s demands (demands, not wants) so I was less annoyed with him because he had displayed this pattern from the beginning. What made me most upset was him bending to her will and manipulation. [...] But Mia is apparently the best manipulator in the world and got what she wanted YET AGAIN. Jesus fuck, it’s so infuriating. If that’s what you were going for, BRAVO. I was thoroughly angry at certain parts. [...] Yeah there were times I wished I could reach through the screen and strangle this stupid girl. What an absolute roller coaster piece of fiction. [...]
13. [...] Secondly, jeez louise, what an absolutely one of a kind, confronting, sickening, anger inducing, enthralling, and heartbreaking experience it was. I burst into tears when I finally finished reading it (the poem at the end pushed me right over the edge), [...] It hit me so hard I literally was having dreams about poor Mia for the days afterward, I’ve never been that affected by something I read like that. I mean all of this in a really good way of course- I know that was your intention. It is the kind of horror that makes you truly feel horrified and that’s exactly what I want to experience when I read your writing and works like it [...] As for the characters, I feel they were really well considered and well written. The beginning dynamic, the devolution of the situation and the eventual horrendous circumstances that they find themselves in felt real and palpable throughout. That may be easier to say as I feel my personal experience helps me understand the motives of the characters and the kind of people they are - not that mine and Mia’s experience could even be described as similar but a lot of the core building blocks of the characters and where they fit in the story [...] Mia comes across as incredibly smart and capable and curious, however extremely vulnerable due to her intense interest in sex [...] this really felt like something truly new and different, and scary in a new way. [...] I enjoyed the experience of reading it massively and the horror of it truly captured me. You’re dead gifted and it was a real pleasure getting to be an early bird with reading this one
14. So this is very much a first impressions fresh off the 300+ first pages I ended up binge reading and this is such an interesting read. The spiraling is incredibly well done, the pacing is great so far, the switching from one character to another is actually handled very well, pretty smooth. [...] The dissonance is heavy and you really have that feeling of watching a car crash in slow-mo with morbid curiosity. So yeah, so far, genuinely loving this. [...]