u/Never3ndingStory

Our relationship wasn’t traditionally labeled. But i loved her. And she loved me. I was too scared to finally want a true relationship with her. She wanted me to give her something that I was too afraid. I strung her along. By the time i wanted a true relationship with her it was too late

Worst part is I knew the ending was coming. I knew she was checked out because i wasn’t giving her what she needed. And even at 18 years old, i knew the better option was letting her go. I told her a lie that I didn’t love her anymore so she would be comfortable leaving.

And i hold onto that guilt for 8 years. The funny part ? It took her a month while i struggled for 8 years. But that was the plan. I did it to make her safe.

After 8 years I finally talked to her again. I told her everything. At first it hurt talking to her again. I thought it would help me. It didn’t.

What helped me was telling her I never stopped loving her and she was always on my mind and it was a struggle. For some reason that helped ease my pain. It’s not gone but it doesn’t hurt as much.

I have 2 post in another sub talking about my old high school thing.

It’s really feeling the regret of not asking her out. We both liked each other and i just never had the balls to ask her out. I was 18 at the time. I thought i had move on.

But i texted her and i never move on but I need to move. The worst part is after 8 years she still has feelings for me but she has a boyfriend of 4 years.

I stopped texting her. How do i cope? My mind is just on her everyday. Sometimes i cry thinking about what could have been. It’s really eating me up.

I thought talking to her again would help me move on. But it didn’t. It just made it harder.

Please help. I don’t know what to do

I’m not asking for advice. Maybe it could be advice for someone going through it too. Me(M26) and S(F24)

A couple weeks ago i made a post about talking to my high school crush after 8 years which was crazy.

We weren’t a crush. We were a thing but not dating. We did know about each other. We did like each other. First kiss and everything. I just never asked her out and it ended there. She wanted to date and by the time i had the balls to ask her out and be my girlfriend it was too late.

Move on to college and she stay in high school. She was a sophomore and i was a senior. There was also the age thing but it was 2 years difference. Not condoning dating minors though it’s what happen lol.

But anyway in that time of going to college i never stop thinking about her. I had one serious relationship in college and that ended because she needed go to australia for biology wildlife. Which is cool asf btw.

But again never stop thinking about S. One day she texted me in 2024 asking how it’s been. It was awkward. But damn it felt good to talk to S

But it was short lived. To the present, i move to oklahoma, US and i hadn’t thought about her or talked for 2 years. For some reason moving to Oklahoma made me think about her.

I texted her. We did some much catching up. It felt nice talking to S again. We talked about who we dated. How we could have dated. And that we both never stop thinking about each other. And we both admitted to still liking each other. We even cried thinking about what could have been and missing out spending time together. I’m also proud of her. She’s becoming a lawyer and damn makes tear up how much hard work she’s doing.

But it got bad, well good if she was single, but bad because she has a boyfriend. Getting that personal with each other was the wrong thing to do. We both saw what was happening. And we realized it can’t happen.

She’s with her BF of 4 years. It’s not right for me or her or him to have these feelings. She was emotionally cheating. And that’s pretty messed up on my end. To just come out of no where. She did tell her boyfriend what was happening. I don’t know much about their relationship. What she told me was he was also texting another girl but not seeing her. And it’s been rough since that moment but they are working through it. To her it was fine to talk to me because her bf did the same to her. But she’s not that person. She told her bf everything.

I even talked to the boyfriend. He demanded it. Man to man. And that was an interesting conversation. I found out S and her mom had mentioned my name once in a conversation and that was always in the BF head. Apparently he thought i was the perfect guy being compared to him. It was strange to say the least. But I did the right thing. I told him she’s not cheating. She’s one of the good ones. And he needs to talk things through with S.

And now, we don’t talk as much. We send each other memes here and there but nothing personal or loving. I feel broken. I cried a little. But that’s just life. I think about what could have been. Just two dumb teens not knowing what we needed or wanted. If i had asked her out would we still liked or love each other ? Would we have kids? Or would it have ended so badly we wouldn’t even talked to each other?

Anyway, life sucks. I wish i can tell S that I love her more than anything but i won’t and can’t. 4 billion woman in this planet and I loved her the most. Crazy.

Anyone else went through the same ?

I’m looking at the Degree map for aviation maintenance certs and aas.

But the AAS is just the two A&P combined with some general education courses which i already have because i have degree

What is more funny is the aas is cheaper than the separate certs. The powerplant is 17,650 total. And the Airframe is 20,800 total. The AAS is 33,680 total.

Should i just take the AAS?