u/Mental-Opening8160

I have been planning to treat myself to a luxury purchase for a while but as I have a budget and a long list of things I want, I need your help deciding what is actually worth it from the list below 😩 I really dont wanr to exceed 1800. TIA!!

1. cartier small d'amour bracelet (960) + pur lilas fragrance ( 280)

2. cartier gold square lighter (1340)

3. chanel 2 strap sandals from summer cruise (1800)

4. jadior sandals with straps (940) + jasmin des anges perfume (350)

I was texting my SA and was planning to come in today to look at some shoes. All was going well, I got caught in traffic after work and ran a little late but let them know, and they said it was okay.

I got to the boutique, wasn't greeted by anyone...texted my SA and let them know I was here, and smelled some perfumes while I was waiting.

20 mins rolled by and another SA looked up from helping other customers and loudly went "are you ok??" like I was a plight in their field of vision. I responded "yep just waiting for X" and they looked surprised and said "are you sure? X already went home". I let them know I was texting the SA and they smirked and carried on with their clients.

It was clear no one would help me and I left the store. Kind of humiliating honestly. I wish the SA would have let me know their hours instead of telling me to come anyway.

I am biracial and my parents are both from different sides of the earth. Father was an abusive narcissist and mother was an enabler. Was horrifically traumatized growing up and got a scholarship to college and was abandoned over choosing a PhD over an MD route. Slept in a womens shelter over christmas holiday one year in college. Financially supported myself. Was supported by my academic mentors and went to grad school, did well, and cut off my parents. Found out from my mom that my dad died just before my PhD defense. Wanted me to console her and she only speaks to me when she wants elaborate expensive gifts and large quantities of money, which I send every year out of guilt. Grandpa, grandma died and mom let me know after the fact in the same unceremonious way. It kills me I never had the means to travel to see them. Ive gone to therapy but nothing erases the emptiness and inability to overcome the trauma of abuse and conditional love. While all this was happening I was bullied out of the only friend group that I had because of one psychotic person's boredom and manipulative behavior. I still dont understand it to this day. Context was they believed I was lying for attention when I confided something really personal in them while opening up. I stood up for myself but it only made the situation worse, so I left.

I dont know what to do. I am grieving over what I never had. I dont trust people to make friends because I am confident they will hurt me just like everyone else has hurt me. I am so alone. I wish I could be loved unconditionally. All i ever tried was my best and it has never been enough.