u/ManicisWriting

Hi, I am 20f and I have Cptsd from 13+ years of sa from my uncle.

I have had some things that have leaned into maladaptive daydreaming but for the past year I have been turning those daydreams into reality and or making a story of them. Listening to music and pacing.

Example #1: When I was 5 I would daydream for hours getting into my dream school and speaking out about my uncle. I have achieved both of those.

Example #2: I would pretend I was a lawyer and had this boyfriend who later died. (To long to explain.) I am now using that years of daydreaming for an actual story I am writing.

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But I am scared I am far too obsessed with a celebrity...

I really like this actor Hugh Dancy, I love his work and all.

I'd watched videos and it actually gave me inspiration of adding a character in my story. His wife as well Claire Danes.

I would watch things they were in to get and idea of there work and stuff. I would like one day if able to have them play these characters but I also have others in mind.

For personal comfort I do write stories of Hugh's characters or him in fanfiction/smut. I used to have to watch porn because if I didnt id have flashbacks when I was trying to be intimate with myself. I figured writing and reading was better.

I am 100% aware neither of them know I exist or would even care about me if I walked right past them. I love how private they are because I honestly hate when celebrities share there whole lives. I dislike people taking photos of there children. Because well there kids? And some use those images for awful reasons, especially with Ai.

This sparked up, because the dream school I am going to in this state is the same where they live. So, I haven't been able to stop panicking on whether or not I am obsessed and did it on purpose or not. My mom told me that I've had this school picked before I even knew who these people were. Which is true but I am still so worried. What if I become one of those stalkers? Or people who think the celebrity loves them? I don't want to be like that. 😥

I was 11 when my uncle raped me. And it was probably the worst pain I ever experienced, and it wa like I had my period after for 2 days.

I'm 20 now

I don't really touch that low anymore...

And I happened to today, because I was inspecting something and it feels rippled and like extremely sensitive, it used to burn a lot when I was younger, and now its burning again, I feel gross...and keep thinking of what happened. It feels like a cat scratch. And I feel I am about to panic or burst into tears. I am so scared I made an appointment with my obgyn.

Hi, I'm an older sister of a lovely little brat of a sister. She has epilepsy and after her first seizure at 1yrs old, she became non verbal and unable to walk. Shes 18, and her mental age is that of a 2yr old.

I have been bathing my sister since she was 10 (I was 15), as my parents constantly argued about when it was my father's turn to do it. So I just took over.

This last year my mom has more time off work (especially since most her kids are moved out), so shes taken over. I am planning on going to school out of state and my father is throwing a fit that its not his responsibility to bathe my sister.

Past context:

When I was 8, I used to have to call my Mom to remind my Dad to feed me. Multiple famoly members told me how they would have to remind him to change my siblings and mines diapers. If I was cold, then I was cold when he got a blanket. He even yelled at my mother for giving me her blanket. Or would get upset and treat her like shit for giving my siblings and I food if it meant she wasn't eatting.

Call it "daddy issues" but I have always felt my Dad didn’t want kids. He always threw Bible verses at me about woman are wives to bare children and bow to the man, that its what God intended. He takes credit for everything and acts as though he trained my mother how to behave and respond appropriately to my sistee seizures. (Mind you most of this I was 5-10, as my mother came around more and started getting on his case about it.) He changes my sister's diaper (with complaining) and gives her, her meds.

Like I mentioned I am moving out, and can no longer bathe her. I have shown my mother that despite what my father says she can do it and has for about a year. But, shes the only one bringing in some income, and will need him to at occasion bathe my sister and he is refusing telling my mom she can wait till shes off or the weekend to do it. I feel bad for my mom....

Hi, I'm an older sister of a lovely little brat of a sister. She has epilepsy and after her first seizure at 1yrs old, she became non verbal and unable to walk. Shes 18, and her mental age is that of a 2yr old.

I have been bathing my sister since she was 10 (I was 15), as my parents constantly argued about when it was my father's turn to do it. So I just took over.

This last year my mom has more time off work (especially since most her kids are moved out), so shes taken over. I am planning on going to school out of state and my father is throwing a fit that its not his responsibility to bathe my sister.

Past context:

When I was 8, I used to have to call my Mom to remind my Dad to feed me. Multiple famoly members told me how they would have to remind him to change my siblings and mines diapers. If I was cold, then I was cold when he got a blanket. He even yelled at my mother for giving me her blanket. Or would get upset and treat her like shit for giving my siblings and I food if it meant she wasn't eatting.

Call it "daddy issues" but I have always felt my Dad didn’t want kids. He always threw Bible verses at me about woman are wives to bare children and bow to the man, that its what God intended. He takes credit for everything and acts as though he trained my mother how to behave and respond appropriately to my sistee seizures. (Mind you most of this I was 5-10, as my mother came around more and started getting on his case about it.) He changes my sister's diaper (with complaining) and gives her, her meds.

Like I mentioned I am moving out, and can no longer bathe her. I have shown my mother that despite what my father says she can do it and has for about a year. But, shes the only one bringing in some income, and will need him to at occasion bathe my sister and he is refusing telling my mom she can wait till shes off or the weekend to do it. I feel bad for my mom....

I saw neurology, they still want a eeg done. But is pretty sure its pnes.

But, why is my neurologist acting like it's a condition? Or like an actual issue. If its just stress, then why act like its an actual condition?

I've been told that its just my cptsd, my therapist didn't even believe it was pnes anymore.

But, I just don't understand if its just stress why follow up with neurology, and get treated for it and all.

I just don't understand.

Hi, I am 20f and signed I was 8 my puberty has been a rollercoaster of pain and weight gain. I was on a diet at 15 and walking 10k a day. I did major food restrictions. Practically, the basics I learned in health class. I was really proud of myself for cutting off ramen and soda. It went on for about a year. When I went in to see a liver specialist. I told the check in nurse everything, and she was so pleased with what I was doing and have learned about good foods and gut health.

Then the actually liver specialist came in and started lifting up my flaps and pointing it out to my mom, how bad my body looks. Because of the stretch marks and all. She sat down reviewed what I told them nurse and turned to me and said "You can't eat cake everyday. There isn't a magic pill. You just have to do it?" This crushed me, I showed her my diet restrictions and she responded back with "Well, if you are we'd see weight loss, not gain." She then went on about how my body must be the worst to move around and if I just go up three steps a day and not sit on the couch 24/7 then it would show improvement.

For some context, I was in sports (wrestling) and had to travel up three floors and back down to get to classes, with no issues or any strain.

They also wanted me to do a whole body scan to break down the weight of my bones, muscle, and fat. I kept telling the guy I had a lot of muscle and that weighs more. He cut me off and told me that it doesn't seem like that, it could just be tough fat. Did the scan, I had more muscle then fat. And all he said was "Oh, guess you were right?". Like seriously?

After I had to go to rheumatologist for my Uveitis. This was probably when I started to give up on my weight loss. My mother explained my issue, that was strictly about a medication I was taking. He went into the same stuff about how it could improve with weight loss. I was fine. But when ny mother mentioned the increase of weight. The doctor laughed and told my mother I have been morbidly obese since I was 3. My family was shocked as they used to be scared when I was that age, cause they could see my rib cage.

I was told I may have PCOS. Which I kinda shrugged off. The doctors then said I didn't have it. In the next year, I was sent to the hospital for extreme pain. And (tmi) I had to sit for an hour explaining to the guy in the er that I was not pregnant. But he kept asking, telling 16yr old me different ways I could have gotten pregnant. Then had be do a many tests all for him to come back and say that I wasn't pregnant. The shifts change and not even 20mins after this woman came over and said it was an ovarian cyst, and that if I told them I had PCOS, it would have sped up the process. I was shocked and they gave me a referral to the fertility clinic.

Ever since I have been trying to find ways to lose weight with the pcos. I have had doctors send me home from the er, telling me that my pain was nothing. Then to be called the next day that it was infact a cyst rupture 😅.

My parents are diabetic and so is my grandmother. All of them have been making life changes with me, but there doctors keep throwing those "magic weight loss" drugs at them. The other day my endocrinologist made me feel as there was no hope for me to lose weight. And that I need to go on one of those "magic weight loss" meds.

But there's a different way right? Like, don't dietitians still exist? Isn't there ways to lose weight without what everyone is stabbing in the there stomach? I am not wanting to take from a person who actually needs it. So, any help?

Tw: csa

Hi, I do not have BPD. But my uncle does. And just for some context, I cut him off because since I was 3, he would repeatedly molest and rape me. So, I stopped communication with him.

He tells my family that's I am a horrible person and that I destroyed everything. He tells my mother that his mental health is why he did all of that to me. And I am not caring enough. That people with his condition do these things and I need to understand its mot his fault and to stop blaming him.

He tells me his going to switch. Or he feels himself switching his personality, and to not be near him cause something might happen...

He's talked about how I resemble his ex wife. Who he has wanted to murder for the last decade, and would tell me his fantasy of holding her while the house is on fire.

And, I am scared. My family even tells me that I need to understand hes a person with feelings. That he wouldn't have done it if he didn't have bpd. Am I doing something wrong, is this really his mental health diagnosis?