u/MECengineerstudent

How do I make people want to be around me?

I’ve never been able to keep any friends around since i’ve been young. The only ones I have, well they got literally nothing going on in their lives and expect me to do everything for them on their terms.

I sometimes get some old friends that invite me to something to do with them but then they tell me it’s because everyone else was busy so they thought about me…

Only my brother and one high school friend has stayed in contact with me after all. Me and my brother pretty much act the same by his girlfriend’s words and look a like but he seems to attract people in without trying while I struggle massively.

I also can’t seem to keep relationships, all of them cheat after years or months.

It seems like I somehow am boring or bother people, but if I don’t talk I feel boring and if I do it seems like i’m bothering them and they barely answer to anything I say. It all seems to lead to the same point that they don’t really talk to me back or we hang out one on one ever again.

I’ve also tried being the one to invite people at places to try and get connections, but everyone is always too busy to do anything with me…

My parents never left the house since me and my brother are alive pretty much so I barely ever spoke to even my family since i’ve been young to get that social exposure. I was hanging out with the “popular kids” in high school but never one on one except for the guy that I still talk to and hangout with because he had friends, I just had the party invites and that was it.

Why are there so many posts saying monkeybranchers this and that, they’ll regret blah blah. I’ve never seen any one of them actually regret unless they left someone and got someone like REALLY terrible after that and get dumped immediately. My brother’s gf monkeybranched to him from his best friend five years ago and they’re still together now.

I have been monkeybranched on two years ago now and my ex only called me all the time the first month of no contact then she disappeared completely and blocked me for a year and a half and spammed texts, calls, DMs to me on her birthday and I didn’t answer and she was gone again the next day. I recently added her on snapchat because I wanted to get some pictures to show my friend and she decided to add me quickly for some reason at 1 am. So I decided to ask her why she did that 6 months later and suddenly she said I was the best at understanding her etc, but then switched to the HR tone again and said she was still with her boyfriend who is an alcoholic and does drugs but they’re both almost done their doctorates to be therapist and that she was so happy but she made it sound like she actually loved me and I was the one that did her wrong and she had to “let go of the hate” against me.

My brother’s gf finally admitted to me that she cheated on the last dude when I knew the whole time because my brother had told me, my brother barely likes her anymore she’s intolerable ngl but she’s never going to leave him until he does and even then there’s probably no way she’s going to her ex she hates the dude more than anything i’ve seen.

So a few days ago I decided to add my ex back on snapchat because I had dumped all my camera roll of the entire relationship and had a massive glow up after so I wanted to get some pictures to show my friend who didn’t know me at that time. I make sure to do it late at night so I can just get the pics and deleted her without her noticing.

My ex decides to literally add me back in seconds at 1 am, I was so shook I went to workout for 2 hours and came back home, I could not sleep all night, filled with anxiety I just decided to text her in the morning to see what’s up. I saw she had deleted everything on her instagram so maybe she had broken up? Anyways, I message her she responds quickly for a few hours then I start asking questions like if she saw me somewhere and if that was why she hit me up and spam called me on my phone on her birthday, she answers “no? Did you see me? Lol” I said “idk I needed glasses at that time so I was blind”. Then she went to tell me that she called me because “I was the only one that knew her so much and was able to calm her during her panic attacks and that she would expect me to make an effort for her to answer my phone after 1.5 years”. I was baffled and told her that the guy she literally cheated on me with still couldn’t understand with her after a year? Also why would I put an effort into you when you left me by text almost two years ago, don’t you think it would shock me or something? And she said yes she understands and he should be able to deal with her by now but I was the best (he’s literally almost done his classes to be a therapist).
She literally was in classes with my brother’s gf also and spent a semester saying I was so shit at dealing with her and that my brother was so good (we are literally the same way) and now she says that even two years later.

She also said she added me because she needed to stop being angry at me somehow when she’s the one that cheated… she offered to talk one on one again also but she needed to ask permission to her bf and I told her I was leaving town that day and she re-offered next weekend but with her boyfriend included and I just left her on read and deleted her again.

I’m so done with her I wouldn’t even know what to tell her if I saw her anyways, like what you talk about how good your life as been from cheating on me while I bed rotted and i’m still suffering from it and can’t even love anyone no more…

I added my ex back on snapchat after two years to get some pictures of me she had taken and she instantly added me back… she had just deleted her pictures of her bf on instagram a few days prior to this too. Wasn’t expecting that from her but neither of us have sent the first message yet, I was supposed to delete her after I got the pics…