u/Low_Award13

My boyfriend (21M) of 4 years wants to join the Army. He still has time before applying because he wants to get in better shape and address some health issues first. I know joining feels meaningful to him because of MY family’s military background, and he’s wanted to do it since he was younger, so I don’t want to hold him back.
But I’m really anxious about it. I’m worried about the distance and loneliness, since I have an anxious attachment style and struggle with being apart from him. In the past, when we were long-distance temporarily, his texting felt dry and it made me overthink a lot.
I also struggle with insecurity about cheating. I’m a trans man (21FTM), he’s bisexual, and I sometimes worry he’ll leave me for a cis guy. He says he wouldn’t cheat, and even mentioned marriage before joining because cheating is taken seriously in the military and marriage could also provide benefits like insurance and help with future gender-affirming surgeries. But I’m nervous about the idea of getting married young just for stability.

For people with military partners/spouses: how did you handle the long periods apart? Was it as hard as you expected?

he liked them a lot. femboys, twinks, etc. i personally don’t mind being called either term but it sucks that i can’t have one because i haven’t started t or gotten bottom surgery done. i feel like im wanting to be something i’ll never accomplish. i’ll see him like femboy posts on instagram and get jealous and idk. he’ll show them to me sometimes and say it’s me but it’s really not. just wish i knew how to feel better about it.

before anyone starts, i applied and went in for it a month and a half ago. i called when my partner (who went in with to get one with me) got theirs a week later in the mail and i didn’t. turns out i wouldn’t get it until i turned 21 which was a week ago, and im suppose to fly out tomorrow. i still have the paper copy they gave me and my old drivers license. should i bring anything else? will they just put me thru an extra security check?