u/Low-Woodpecker308

So I (20F) am in my first relationship with my boyfriend (24M), and we play fight pretty often. It usually starts harmless, tickling each other, wrestling around, me biting his arm lightly, stuff like that. Most of the time it’s playful and fun.
The issue is that sometimes he takes it too far.
Like, there have been multiple times where he’s grabbed me too hard or held me down after I said “ow” or “stop.” Sometimes he’ll stop eventually, but other times he’ll laugh and say things like, “That didn’t even hurt,” or “I was barely using any strength.” He also says he’s “holding back,” which honestly makes me feel weird because why say that at all?
A few times I’ve ended up with bruises from it. To be fair, he’s gotten bruises too maybe 2 or 3 times because I retaliated after he wouldn’t stop. Usually if he ignores me, I’ll react harder to get him off me, like hitting him in the private area or pulling his beard. Then he gets upset and says I went too far.
What confuses me is that when I say something hurts, he acts like I’m exaggerating because he doesn’t think he was being rough. But if I retaliate, suddenly I’m the one crossing the line.
I don’t know if this is normal in relationships because this is my first serious one. Part of me feels like we’re both just immature and escalating things, but another part of me feels uncomfortable that “stop” doesn’t immediately mean stop to him.
Has anyone else dealt with this? Am I overthinking it or is this actually a problem?

So I (20F) am in my first relationship with my boyfriend (24M), and we play fight pretty often. It usually starts harmless, tickling each other, wrestling around, me biting his arm lightly, stuff like that. Most of the time it’s playful and fun.
The issue is that sometimes he takes it too far.
Like, there have been multiple times where he’s grabbed me too hard or held me down after I said “ow” or “stop.” Sometimes he’ll stop eventually, but other times he’ll laugh and say things like, “That didn’t even hurt,” or “I was barely using any strength.” He also says he’s “holding back,” which honestly makes me feel weird because why say that at all?
A few times I’ve ended up with bruises from it. To be fair, he’s gotten bruises too maybe 2 or 3 times because I retaliated after he wouldn’t stop. Usually if he ignores me, I’ll react harder to get him off me, like hitting him in the private area or pulling his beard. Then he gets upset and says I went too far.
What confuses me is that when I say something hurts, he acts like I’m exaggerating because he doesn’t think he was being rough. But if I retaliate, suddenly I’m the one crossing the line.
I don’t know if this is normal in relationships because this is my first serious one. Part of me feels like we’re both just immature and escalating things, but another part of me feels uncomfortable that “stop” doesn’t immediately mean stop to him.
Has anyone else dealt with this? Am I overthinking it or is this actually a problem?

I’m in my first serious relationship, and I need outside opinions because I genuinely can’t tell what’s normal anymore.

For context: early in the relationship, I messed up. I cheated emotionally by messaging another guy and sending photos. Later, me and my boyfriend broke up, and less than a day later I slept with someone else. Even though we were technically broken up, it really hurt him and completely destroyed his trust in me.
Since then, he’s become way more controlling. He says these rules are necessary because of what I did, and part of me feels like I deserve it because I caused the damage in the first place.

These are the rules he gave me:

1. I can only go to certain approved places
2. I can only wear approved clothing (less of this happening)
3. I can only speak to certain people
4. I can’t receive “too many” notifications (he gets upset)
5. I’m not allowed to receive compliments (he gets upset when i do)
6. Male coworkers can’t buy me food (says it’s disrespectful)
7. I have to tell him my plans before I do anything (he gets upset if i don’t)
8. I have to check in when I’m out without him
9. I have to send proof/evidence of who I’m with

I understand why he has trust issues because I did betray him. I’m not trying to act innocent. But at the same time, this feels less like rebuilding trust and more like losing my freedom completely.

Part of me thinks this is the consequence of my actions and I should accept it if I want the relationship to work. Another part of me feels like this has crossed into controlling behavior.

edit: He’s about to be 25 and I’ll be 21 this year
edit 2: We’ve been together for a year. We got together when I was 19 and he was 23.

This probably isn’t important but I have no friends outside of him and do pretty much everything with him.