I am asking because I feel like there is something off in my life. And I wanna hear your experience on how you realized that you might be autistic or simliar?
Edit: In general I am refering to daily life experiences or tasks that might make it obvious.
I am asking mainly people out of school settings because I cannot relate to school experiences anymore but you are not forbidden to answer ofc.
I graduated, studied abroad, checked things on my list I wanted to do until i am 30. Can't believe I fucking checked them. And now I am fucking broke. Refused a PhD offer to skip masters because of severe burnout and right now i don't even have a job. I can't do anything except exist. Some days I sit and stare at the wall for hours. I feel like my mental health is below hell.
Majority of my time from 15 till 26 I had to take care of my disabled grandmother while my mother was working or I was working when money was tight. I felt like life was passing me by. I saw people around me move away, get promoted, start a family whatever. And here I am with no directions. I don't like the major I have. I don't want to work in that field I genuinely don't give af. I have a few passions but no energy anymore to do anything. I picked up playing the guitar two years ago but even that has become difficult after graduation. I keep thinking to move and just work on my passions but honestly I feel like I have missed the spot. And I get so freaking jealous at younger people nowadays who follow what they want to do and are not bound by some responsibilities.
And I think the worst thing was that I broke contact with my best friend who instead of understanding my situation, judged me instead. I admit, quite openly now, that I am insanely heartbroken because of it. Never felt like that before.
I just don't know how to get out of that hole. I wanna move away, do something different. I don't wanna be stuck where I am forever
I kinda wanna rant here. a few days ago I made a post asking women why they still date men after being treated horribly.
only men replied and the convo went from “bad experiences” to being accused of saying all men are bad really quick. I never said that. it’s almost like they put these words in our mouth. other men replied the classic you should choose good guys instead but when I told them that I was with good guys and even them show problematic behavior I was suddenly “choosing wrong” or it must be me or I am too young or too old to understand. (I am 27 lol)
idk what it is but I can’t with men anymore. recently I had a very bad experience with my fucking childhood friend being involved. I wonder who you can even trust anymore? we’re seen like a fucking piece of meat by so many of them.
and don’t mention the types who play it subtle so you give them the benefit of doubt but sooner or later they either hit on you, waste your time and straight up try to manipulate you.
but telling all of these stories would take way too long. my favourite phrase by some of them was: “anecdotal stories don’t show reality“ I fucking lost it.
honestly I feel like we are in this predicament because of the internet. we live in a century of exchanging information. it gets harder to lie and gaslight women about shitty behaviour because we all can now talk about it. centuries of shit runs against a wall right now and it makes them upset